Tragic Magic part 3

>For fuck’s sake.
>There is no peace in the world for you.
>Especially since this evil entity is after you.
>Of all people that exist, why is it after you?
>You continue to stare at your ceiling trying to make sense of things.
>Mental peace, that’s all you want.
>And now your life is well, not turning for the better.
>All thanks to that fucking troll on that image board.
>You’re gonna find that asshole if it’s the last thing you do.
>You don’t know how long it’s going to be until Femanony will be ready to go.
>But in the meantime, you could fix you something else to eat.
>You pull up your pants and zip up then make your way to the kitchen.
>You figured those two pizza slices that never existed won’t be enough.
>And you know what? You can jam to some music too while you’re at it.
>You fling open the fridge and examine anything that looks tasty.
>Jesus, you need to clean it out. Why do you buy fruits and vegetables?
>You chuckle at your thought, and reach for the pack of hot dogs, you haven’t had them in a while so why not?
>You place them on the counter and retrieve some hot dog buns from a nearby cabinet placing them on the counter as well.
>You then reach pull out a drawer to gather a fork and just below that drawer were some pots and pans, you simply grab a nicely sized pot and head over to the sink to fill it with the needed amount of water.
“Jeez, this place is too quiet, where’s the music when you need it?”
>Radio static begins to fade into your field of hearing; you turn to the direction of the source of the noise.
>The radio finally fine tunes into clear sound, a radio jam station that was just finishing their previous song catches your attention.
>”Hellooo folks, DJ Amethyst here, that was We Gotta Rage remix by Alpha Law, this guy has been taking on the music scene by storm, you can’t pass a street corner without someone jammin’ to one of his songs. Up next is a request from one of our listeners, here’s The Fourth Wall by, you guessed it, Alpha Law. So folks turn those nobs up and jam to some epic wubs.”
>Hey, not bad at all, you like the guy. Heck you wish you can meet him someday.
>As the song begins you find yourself dancing as you place the pot of water on the stove.
>You turn on the stove to a reasonable temperature and jamming to the song.
>You drop a two hot dogs into the water and wait for it to boil. In the meantime, you get a few condiments from a nearby shelf.
>What? As much as you’re a fan of having you hot dogs just plain, you figured something on it them won’t hurt.
>However you’re mindful that you can’t have too much to eat, you have to save some room for when you and Femanony go out tonight.
>That is something you’re really looking forward to. A night out on the town with one of your closest friends? Yeah, you’ll sign up for that.
>Who knows maybe you’ll get some tonight, you haven’t had some pussy in a while.
>In fact for the better half of this year you haven’t even went out on a date, much less gettin’ some.
>”That’s just sad.”
>And just like that your happy go lucky good mood has somewhat died.
>”Hey, pay attention, you wouldn’t want to burn down your apartment.”
“Yeah right, like I can burn down a place by boiling water, how much of a fuck up do you have to be?”
>”Aha! So you do acknowledge my existence.”
>…
“Shuddup already, jeez.”
>She giggles in response, this silly devious deity.
>”Oh what? I have to be evil ALL the time? Maybe I have a soft spot for you.”
>You groan in annoyance as you stir around the to two hot dogs with your fork in hand.
>You seriously hate that troll. Seriously, who goes posting links of uber scary shit?
>”Who goes around and falls for it?”
“Fuck you Zalgo Twilight.”
>”Oh gladly, by the way, just call me Ztwi.”
>You roll eyes, you’re not even going to bother respond to her.
>”Why not? It’s just me and you babe, you’ll talk to me again.”
>Judging from how she’ll just be in your dreams, she’s right.
>Damn it.
>Finally after a few minutes of waiting, your hot dogs are ready.
>You grab a paper plate and collect them with the fork and place them in burns.
>Zalgo Twilight begins giggling up a storm. “Paper plates? Seriously?”
“Fuck washing dishes. It’s too time consuming.”
>”Was that a response to me or was you just talking to the stove?”
>Ugh.
>You don’t respond.
>You apply a little mustard and a tad bit of relish because that’s all you would really want on your hot dog anyway.
>You have a seat by your kitchen table and chow down.
>The DJ speaks up again, “Alright folks that was Insane by Flume. We’ll be right back after these messages...”
>As you enjoy you two hot dogs, you realize you still have about three hours to go before you go anywhere.
>You wonder what you’re going to do in the meantime.
>”We could, umm ya know...”
>You only roll your eyes in response.
>”Watch some television.”
>And now that you think about it, that’s not a bad idea.
>”Buuut, you might want to go shopping though, you’re running low on coffee filter, cinnamon, bread, butter, and paper towels.”
>Then again, doing a little shopping couldn’t hurt. Perhaps Zalgo Twilight isn’t all bad.
>”That’s what I’ve been TRYING to tell you.”
>You still don’t respond. You only stand up out of your chair and walk to the front door.
>After grabbing your wallet and keys, you embark on a journey to a nearby Wally-Martinez which is only a five minute walk.
>”Umm,who’s Wally Martinez?”
“Wal-Mart.”
>”I see what you did there, cutie.”
>You know, it would be nice if this evil entity would stop flirting with you.
>”Hey! Don’t forget to lock the door; do you want people breaking in?”
>You turn to your door and lock it with your key and THEN head to the place you have business with.


>You arrive at your destination without a hitch.
>Annnd you forgot the list of things you needed to get.
>”Coffee filters, cinnamon, bread, butter and paper towels.”
“Ah, right, thanks Ztwi.”
>She giggles adorably, “Always happy to help hun.”
>It seems no one else can hear her, just you.
>”Mhm, yes. I’m just the little voice in your head.”
>Does this make you crazy?
>”Actually no. I’m just a devious deity helping you through life because I love you.”
“How can you even love me? We only just met.”
>”Oh but I’ve known you for a looong time. You just don’t remember me.”
>Okay, that’s a little creepy.
>You continue to the necessary aisles for the needed items.
>A few minutes later you’re in line with everything you need in one hand basket thingy.
>You’re more of a person to just be in and out of a store.
>You have your chatty grandmother to thank for that.
>She would take forever and 3 centuries to finish shopping, and God forbid if she ran into one of her sewing friends.
>It. Took. Eons. You’re surprised you don’t have grandchildren of your own
>The line you were waiting in was pretty long and you hate waiting.
>Although, you’re not going to complain, mostly because there’s a nicely tanned hotie with a body waiting in front of you.
>Wearing a one size to small black blouse with some blue jeans that complement her lower half.
>Heh heh, you can wait in line all day for all you care.
>”Ugh, get laid already. Jeez.”
>Someone taps you on your shoulder and you turn to look only to find no one was there.
>Once you turned back around, someone cuts in front of you.
>Some guy with a brown trench coat and brown fedora styled hat.
>He stands there with his fully loaded shopping cart whistling like nothing happened.
>You knew he wasn’t there to begin with, you know that.
>And no way in hell you’re going to let this douche with his more than ten items cut in front of you.
>Jesus would return before you get out if this line with this motherfucker in your way.
>”Oh you and your hyperboles.”
>You’re going to play it cool though, you can be civil about this.
>You tap the guy on the shoulder to get his attention.
>He turns to face you, he gives you a good once over look, already looking irritated as he is.
>”Can I help you?” he said in a bit of an aggressive tone.
“Yeah,you kinda cut in front of me, come on man, not cool. Just go to the back of the line.”
>”Hahaha no, fuck you.”
>Well, that was rude.
>He turns around like nothing happened.
>And you’re more than annoyed now.
>”END HIM!! You MUST expunge this pest from his worthless existence.”
>You’re not gonna fight the guy though; you don’t need any assault charges on your hands.
>You tap him on the shoulder again.
>”Ugh, what?!”
“Back of the line already, we got places to be!”
>”Nah, you can wait.”
>He turns around again and he’s already turning red.
>”Ugh, Anon, you’re too nice. Allow me to show how I deal with worthless crotch peasants.”
>What?
>You shrug it off, leering into the back of the guy’s head.
>Who the fuck does this guy think he is?
>Suddenly, the guy grabs the sides of his heads with his hands.
>He yells in agony, “Fuuuuck! I’m sorry! I’m SORRY!”
>He falls to his knees, “AAAAH the voice! The eyes! It won’t stop!!”
>You look at him with curiosity, wondering what’s going on in his mind.
>Everyone around looks at him too, you hear whispers among the nearby shoppers.
>”He’s crazy”, “Get a load of this guy”, “And that’s why I got off the stuff man.”
>The cashier looks over, “Sir? Are you okay?”
>The guy bangs his head against the floor hopping for some kind mercy.
>”Okay! I…OKAY!”
>He stands up by his cart and looks over to you, taking off his hat with an apologetic look on his face.
>”Sir, I’m so sorry. Here t-take some of my money, please. I…I didn’t know. Forgive me.”
>He reaches into his wallet and gives you a nicely size wad of cash.
“O..okay?”
>He bows his head to you then grabs his shopping cart and moves to the back of the line.
>What just happened?
>”I wouldn’t worry about it sweetie, I just gave him a little taste of what he deserves.”
>The crowd looks at you, wondering what happened.
>Faces of worry and fear become vast.
>You chuckle nervously.
“Heh heh, I had nothing to do with it. Don’t worry folks nothing to see here.”
>Most of them shrug it off and yet there were still a few with curious eyes.
>The cashier goes back to her job, and you just want to get out of here already.

>About a half hour later you arrive at your place with the items you’ve bought.
>You head to the kitchen to put up your things.
>The radio still blasting with music.
>”Hey there listeners, this is DJ Amethyst signing out for today, I’m going to leave you guys with one of my personal favorite songs. The Way I See You by Alpha Law. It’s been fun DJing for you all. I’m out like a light. See yuh.”
>You really got to meet that DJ, he seems cool.
>”That can be arranged.”
“Ummm, no thank you.”
>”Okay, just let me know if you change your mind.”
“Noted.”
>You put up your recently bought items in the places you usually store them.
>And after that process, you check the time on your digital wall clock.
>6:03 pm.
>Ugh, this day is moving too slow.
>”Wanna watch some Television? Maybe cuddle for a bit while we watch?”
>Dis deity of deviousness.
>You walk back to your fridge and open it to look for some drinks.
>Ah Apple soda, this stuff is out right Godly.
>You grab the bottle by its neck out of the fridge then you walked over to your cabinet of cups and grab a glass.
>You pour yourself a tall glass of the stuff and walk to the living room.
>You have a seat on your couch with the glass of apple soda in hand, being careful not to spill it.
>The TV magically turns on, you shrug it off it’s probably Zalgo Twilight’s doing.
>You grab your remote to go through your DVR collection of the shows you need to catch up on.
>You see BBC one’s Sherlock on the list.
“Fuck it, why not?”
>You select the latest episode and commence the watching of brilliant Television, skipping any commercials and what not.
>It feels good to just skip ad sometimes.
>You enjoy your show, which literally had you on the edge of your seat damn near the entire time you was watching it.
>The show was about an hour and a half long since you skipped the commercials.
>You look over at the clock wall to check the time.
>7:30 pm.
>Time to get ready for real.
>You get up from the couch then walk towards the bedroom.
>You gather some fresher clothes and strip off the ones you have on.
>”Oooooh~”
“Gimme a break already, damn.”
>You toss on your fresher clothes, walk to the bathroom to swab on some deodorant under your armpits.
>You give yourself a good look in the mirror and you look just fine.
“Hey, who’s that handsome devil?”
>Zalgo Twilight giggles, “Silly Anon. Come on, and you don’t want to be late.”
“Good point.”
>It’s weird, as scary as she is, as much as you want to push her away, she isn’t so bad.
>You tried all day to forget about her, but it’s just not happening.
>”Heh heh, ummm sorry about scaring you.”
“You’re still scary though.”
>You walk back out of your bedroom to check the time on the wall
>7:38 pm.
>Making good time here.
>You walk out of your apartment, locking the door behind you.
>You make your way over to Femanony’s place and hope she’s ready.
>A few second later, you arrive at her door and knock.
>She answers the door.
>”Anon!” she said with a smile giving you a warm welcoming hug.
>She’s always happy to see you.
>After her hug she looks up at you.
>”What cha doing here so early?”
“I know I know, but I just had to visit anyway.”
>”Well, okay. Why don’t ya come inside and have a seat hmm?”
>You nod in agreement and walk over to her couch.
>After having a seat, Femanony runs back to her bedroom she seems to be in a rush.
>”Umm just a moment, I’m still trying to decide what to wear.”
“Eh, it’s just casual outing, don’t worry about it.”
>”I know, I just still wanna look nice is all.”
>Women
“Women these days.” You mutter under your breath.
>”Women.” Zalgo Twilight replies.
>You turn on the Television as you wait.
>Nothing really good on.
>”Oooh why don’t you see what she has on DVR?”
>Hmm, why not?
>You go to her recordings and find interesting shows.
>She also has Doctor Who and Sherlock from BBC one.
>Mahnigga.jpg
>Femanony walks over to the Tele and stands in front of the screen.
>”Hey Anon, what do ya think about this?”
>You take a gander at what she’s wearing.
>A black shirt with a red rose piercing through a heart and blue jeans that complement her thighs and hips.
>With the perfect amount of cleavage, you honestly can’t help but droll at bit.
>Ohshitmuhdik.jpg
“Yes. Wear it.”
>She giggles adorably, “Alright chief, this it is.”
“So, where do you want to go?”
>”Honestly I wanted to try that new place on 83rd, The Cello Diner.”
“Okay sure I’m down for that.”
>”Awesome, I also heard they have a damn good burger. I’ve been craving some meat for some time now.”
>You hold in a snicker from her comment.
>Zalgo Twilight is just out right laughing.
>”I..I can’t breathe, oh god my sides.”
>Activate the D.
>”PFFFF.”
>As you and Zalgo do your best to keep quiet on the joke, Femanony looks at you with an eyebrow raised.
>”Something funny?”
“Oh what? Nah not at all. Ya ready to go?”
>”Yeah. Let’s DO THIS.” Femanony said as she pelvic thrusted.
>You swear too much of you has rubbed off on her.
>”I’ll drive.” She grabs her purse that has a mini pocketed universe in it you swear and heads out.
>With you following close behind, you enjoy the view as you make it to the parking lot.
>You love women in tight jeans, you can’t help it. You’re an ass man.
>The two of you-
>”Ahem, don’t you mean three?”
>The three of you reach Femanony’s car which is just a turquoise ’94 Mercury Cougar.
>She keeps up the maintenance quite well.
>She unlocks the doors and steps inside, as well as you.
>”Alright, you know the rules, don’t touch the radio.”
“Jeez, I’m not going to touch your precious radio.”
>She beams at you, “Good boy.” She said with a flirt-like chuckle.
>Ugh, women.
>She revs up the engine and you two travel to The Cello Diner.
>It wasn’t too far away, about a 10 minute drive.
>All the while you and Femanony strike up a conversation.
>”So, Anon anymore craziness from that zalgo thing?”
“Umm, not really, but she’s still around.”
>”Has she been talking to you?”
“Yeah, shit’s creepy.”
>”Damn, don’t you worry Anon. You’re gonna have the night of your life.”
>And hopefully, you’ll FINALLY get some.
>”Dream on Anon, like you’ll really get lucky with her.”
>You doubt it. But hey, things are looking up.
>Maybe everything isn’t so bad, maybe Zalgo Twilight is misunderstood.
>Maybe you’ll get lucky.
>After all, what’s the worst that can happen?

End of part 3