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the number is an atari sears serial number


Okay, here's the thing. The idea of a man so boring as to be literally deadly dull is funny, not scary. This concept could actually make a decent -J, but it would require a massive overhaul from this version. By trying to play it straight, this article is killing the joke that is the core idea, which makes the whole thing just, well, boring. You need to go over the top; the victim's brains aren't just hemorrhaging, they're actually literally trying to crawl out the victims' ears. The guy's voice isn't just droning and monotone and dull, it has a cognitohazard effect that makes you not be able to ignore it as it bores you to death. He's not just dull, he actually never talks about anything other than lint collecting, or how the colors slightly change as paint dries, or something like that

tl;dr
Try re-writing this as a -J, and get lots of feedback from the forums/chat before posting it.

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**Item #:** SCP-4899-J

**Object Class:** Amet

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-4899-J is in a bourbon-induced coma, within O5-11's study. No personnel will enter this study, due to the possibility of waking SCP-4899-J. All subjects affected by SCP-4899-J have retreated from the facility, and

**Description:** SCP-4899-J is the grandfather, on the mothers side, of O5-11. According to SCP-4899-J, it was born sometime between 1929-1939. All other information about him has been difficult to get, due to his anomalous effect.

SCP-4899 is the most boring entity.

**Addendum:**