Trix of the Trade - Chapter 7

>You are Anonymous.
>And you sit in the wagon, sipping on some spring water and munching on a few berries while Trixie sits out in the hot sun, steering the wagon.
>You are pleased to say that Trixie has been very cooperative since your little talk.
>She… probably hates you for making her do her fair share of the work but, she’ll get over that.
>Maybe.
>Food gathering, wagon steering… Well, that’s all there is to do.
>It’s nice to sit down and do nothing for a bit.
>You suddenly envy Trixie’s lifestyle.
>Well, lifestyle for an entire week.
>She’s still probably doing less than she was before you arrived.
>So why is she so ass damaged over this?
>The hatch to roof of the wagon swings open.
>”Hey, get up here.”
>Her tone is flat. The only time Trixie’s tone is flat is when she’s hiding something.
>You climb the step ladder up to the roof.
>The forest around your is much thicker than you last saw it. You’re getting close to Ponyville.
>Trixie keeps her gaze locked on the path ahead of her.
>You take a seat next to her.
>She doesn’t respond with a scoff, she doesn’t reel back in disgust.
>She just sits there with a stoic expression.
>Yeah, she’s hiding something.

“Sooo… We’re getting close to Ponyville.”
>She passes a glance at you for a second before returning her eyes to the road.
“Have you made up your mind?”
>”Trixie has come to a decision.”
“Uh-huh.”
>”She will be leaving you in Ponyville and she will be on her way. Both you and Trixie will go on, pretending this whole mess never happened.”
“Alright.”
>”You… What? Um, you’re not going to oppose?”
“Nah.”
>She’s losing her composure, she’s clearly fanny flustered.
>”Trixie is being honest! She doesn’t even want you around.”
“Okay.”
>”She’ll allow your presence,”
“Really, now?”
>”If only you’re willing to negotiate.”
“Nope.”
>”You’re being difficult!”
“You’re being stubborn.”
>”So are you!”
“I know.”
>”AUGH!”
>She throws the reins down.
>”Why are you doing this!?”
“Because I know exactly what you want to change and I won’t allow it.”
>”You don’t know!”
“You don’t want to work side-by-side. You want me to work under you.”
>”… Hmph!”
“There’s no formal obligation, really. Either of us can easily walk out on this partnership and there will be no legal repercussions.”
>”Then why do you even bother?”
“Because I have no desire to be treated like a dog. Say what you want but, I’m not going to mindless follow orders while you ruin everything.”
>”Trixie never ruined anything!”
“Really? Let’s go ask Appleoosa.”
>”They… are just upset because… Trixie is so great!”
“… Right. And Ponyville? Ponies tend to remember the bad more than the good and I’m sure Ponyville is no different.”
>You pick up the reins Trixie dropped.
“If you want, I’ll take us into Ponyville. Give yourself time to think, you know.”
>”Trixie… Trixie!... Will do that!”

>Aside from the occasional and unprovoked, “Shut up!” Trixie remained quiet for the next few hours.
>It was… nice!
>You heart jumped as familiar sights came into view.
>Aside from the forest around you, Rainbow Dash’s house floating above Ponyville was the first noticeable landmark you saw.
>You feel a mild pang of guilt as your mind wanders to Rainbow Dash.
>Dude, she was your bro.
>And, Bro, you were her dude.
>You just left without saying anything to anybody. You’re sure she’s been worried sick about you. Hopefully, Applejack explained everything once she got back from Appleoosa.
>You find yourself admiring Dash’s cloud castle a little too much as the wagon strays off the trail.
“Oh shit.”
>”Hey!”
>Trixie comes out of the hatch.
>Oh shit.
>You swear, if she rags on you about drifting off the trail…
>”Trixie has finally come to a decision.”
“Good timing, what’s the scoop?”
>She levitates a large sheet of paper into your lap.
>This was not one of your papers, it was about twice as large and a bit more yellowed. You see through to the other side, something was previously written on it but it was scrawled out. Most likely moments ago.
>On the front is… is that Trixie’s penmanship?
>It’s hardly legible.
>”Trixie reworked the deal so it would befit both her and you.”
>You bring it close to your face.
“I can’t even read this…”
>”You’re holding it upside down, stupid.”
>She rotates it.
>It’s now worse.
“Trixie, this is impossible.”
>”Give Trixie that!”
>She telekinetically snatches it out of your grasp.
>She studies it for a moment before sticking her nose in the air and flipping it back to its original orientation.

“Smooth.”
>”Quiet.”
>You squint your eyes as you try to decipher the message. Familiar characters begin to form and make sense.
>And when it all comes together…
>It doesn’t make sense.
>She made no attempts to change your terms. She just wrote THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE as much as possible.
>She added another term, as well.
>’THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE MUST BE THE PRETTIEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL PONY IN EQUESTRIA AT ALL TIMES. NO EXCEPTIONS.’
“Cute. Real cute.”
>”You’re not going to sign? Trixie only made one change AND it’s already an undeniable truth!”
“Sign? Where?”
>”On the line, right…”
>She points her hoof to some loopy things.
>”There.”
>…
“So do you want me to sign with blood or…”
>She magics up a quill and ink bottle.
“You’re serious about this?”
>She nods confidently.
>Fuck that.
>You crumple up the paper and toss it at her hat.
>”H-Hey!”
“Trixie, that is so dumb. Let’s just agree to not stab each other in the back, okay?”
>”Trixie is not obligated to not dump you in the middle of nowhere for a handsome stallion who knows what he’s doing?”
>You let out a soft chuckle.
“You’re joking, right?”
>A small grin flashes across her face.
“Stop that. Come on, seriously.”
>She playfully bats your shoulder.
>”Hmmmm, maaaaaybe Trixie won’t… Do you hear that?”
>You… do hear that.
>It’s like a high-pitched whistling sound.
>You’ve heard it before.
>But where…

>Oh.
>You remember.
>Bracing for impact.
>In a cyan flash, a familiar friend embraces you.
>And by, “embraces”, you mean, “knocks you off the wagon and into a bush.”
>”Dude!”
“Bro!”
>”Dude!”
“Bro!”
>”Dude!”
“Bro, you call that a chokehold?!”
>”Nuh uh! THIS is a chokehold!”
>You make faux gagging noises and tap out in response to Rainbow Dash’s grip.
>She really can’t do anything. Pegasi are weak. Except Fluttershy what the fuck.
>So you give her the satisfaction of victory, most of the time.
>”Awwww yeah! Where does that leave us?”
“55 even.”
>Okay only half of the time.
>”Ahem,”
>Trixie had to interrupt this magnificent brotime, didn’t she?!
>”Whoa, what is SHE doing here? And what are YOU doing here with HER?”
“Didn’t App-“
>”Oh, Trixie and Anonymous here were just spending a little alone time, together. We’d like to continue, if you don’t mind.”
>Rainbow Dash looks at Trixie in pure disgust.
>Then at you in pure disgust.
“She’s lying.”
>”Trixie and Anonymous were lying-“
“Trixie, shut up!”
>”Shall we invite the rainbow one?”
“TRIXIE SHUT UP!”
>Trixie can’t hold back a giggle fit.
>”Dude, I thought you and Rarity were a thing.”
“What? Nah, she’s not into me.”
>”R-Really?!”
>Rainbow Dash looked more excited than you’ve ever seen her before.
>”I mean… I. Uh. Gotta go, Anon.”
>Anon? What happened to dude, bro?
>Rainbow Dash is gone faster than she came, leaving you with a giggling Trixie.
“Why do you have to do that to my friends?”
>She leans over the edge of the wagon and bops on you the head.
>“It’s humorous.”

>Trixie retakes control of the wagon, bringing it around to where she parked it the last time she came to Ponyville.
>She hasn’t given you a definite answer yet so…
“Alright, Trixie. Am I packing up or am I coming back? Final decision.”
>She hesitates to answer. Her eyes are kept to the ground in front of her.
>”You… want to go with Trixie?”
“Sounds better than staying in Ponyville. Here, I’m jobless, soon to be homeless, and a constant victim of attempted rape.”
>”Very well. Trixie will see you tonight, Anonymous.”
“You got it, boss! Oh! Nearly forgot, I needs bits.”
>She glares at you with the hate of a thousand Appleoosas.
>”For what?”
“Food. We’re out, remember?”
>Trixie drops her glare and gives an annoyed sigh.
>She removes a moderate sized bag from her hat and tosses it into your hands.
>”Get something good, will you?”
“Not a problem, be back later.”
>You turn towards Ponyville as you wave goodbye.
>First stop, Rarity’s place.
>It was killing you, not telling Rarity about leaving.
>She should be the first one to tell about your…
>Damn, now you’re second guessing yourself.
>It’s only going to get harder when you talk to Rarity.
>What needs to be done, needs to be done, however.
>You walk up to the Boutique.
>So far so good.
>You allow yourself in. The bell rings as you enter.
>You hear the voices of Rarity and Pinkie Pie somewhere nearby but it seems they didn’t hear you.
>Or they’re ignoring you.
>Suddenly your ears are assaulted by the sharpest noise you could possible imagine.
>”ANONYMOUS!”

“Sweetie Belle!”
>Sweetie Belle must have been scooting around the front room again.
>You hear Pinkie Pie calling your name from the other room.
>She appears in front of your face nearly instantaneously.
“Shit! Pinkie, you know-“
>”Anon is back!”
>”And he’s cursing in front of my little sister. You ought to know better, Anonymous.”
“Nice to see you too, Rarity.”
>”Tsk, I’m sorry. It’s been an exhausting week.”
>Sweetie Belle pipes up. “Where’d you go, Anonymous? Rarity said you were going to ruin your life but you look fine to m-“
>Rarity quickly stuffs a hoof over her sister’s mouth.
>”Ahem, it’s good to have you back, Anonymous.”
>”Ooh~, you know what this means? We have to throw Anon a ‘Welcome Back’ party!”
“Right. About that…”


>This is going a lot worse than expected.
>Rarity looks traumatized.
>Sweetie Belle is crying her eyes out.
>… Pinkie Pie is actually taking it really well.
>”This will be the best ‘Going Away’ party ever!
>”He… He said he would never leave! Rarity, why is Anonymous leaving?”
>”We’ll need a cake and some streamers,”
>”I don’t know, Sweetie Belle.”
>”And invitations! We have to get started! Ooh! Come with me!”
“I need to talk-”
>Nope. You don’t get to talk to Rarity.
>Pinkie Pie took hold of your arm and now you’re flying through town at an unimaginable speed.

>The two of you finally stopped.
>She’s been running you ragged for HOURS.
>Where this pony gets that energy remains a mystery to the entire world.
>”What ELSE?! Hmmmm…”
“Oh come ON, Pinkie. I came into town to say my goodbyes, not work my ass off.”
>”I can’t throw a big party without help, Anon! Besides,”
>She hugs your waist.
>”You owe me for not saying goodbye, last time.”
>D’aaaaw.
>You squat down to return the hug.
“Fine, we’re even.”
>”Hmmmmm. Nope!” She boops your nose. “You owe me 499 more hugs in repayment for leaving like this!”
>Her eyes begin to glisten with tears.
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is on you guys.”
>”Ugh, GAG.”
>God damnit, that bratty voice.
>Trixie snuck up on the two of you while you were… hugging.
“Trixie, what are you doing here”
>”Trixie was informed the entire town was gathering here, this afternoon. For what purpose would that be?”
>”Anon is having a going away party!”
>Trixie scoffs.
“I’m not a fan of the idea either. I don’t plan to stick around for too long so if you’d like to wait a few hours in the wagon, go ahead.”
>”Pink one, will there be pastries?
>”Mmhm!”
>”Lemon bars?”
>”Yep!”
>”Trixie is already here, she might as well mingle with the lessers while she is out and about.”
>Trixie rushes into Sugarcube Corner with severe issues with hiding her excitement.
>”She’s not very friendly.”
“I know.”

>Ponies from around town begin to show up as Trixie enters Sugarcube Corner.
>You attempt to weave past them to get into Sugarcube Corner but all the guests block your way.
>Wishing you luck, giving you a hoofbump or a hug, even a few small gifts!
>It’s all so wonderful, but you’d prefer to take this inside.
>You manage to usher the growing crowd of ponies into the store moments later.
>The tables and chairs have been cleared from the floor, making the entire place look a lot more spacious. If it’s a Pinkie Pie Party, you’re going to need the extra space.
>The Cakes busied themselves with setting out sweets on a table pushed up against the far wall.
>Mr. Cake waved to you as you entered while Mrs. Cake glared at Trixie who sat in the corner, alone.
>Trixie returned the glare, cheeks puffed out. She held a pan of what looks like Lemon Barns in her forehooves.
>You estimate she’s eaten half of them, considering so much is smeared on her face.
>The ponies entering the building pay her no mind.
>They quickly strike up conversations with each other, all making sure to talk to you just once more.
>Ponies you recognize begin to make themselves noticed.
>Applejack was chatting it up with the locals. Something about apples, you dunno.
>Rainbow Dash kept out of sight but you caught her peeking at you from behind other ponies, from time to time.
>Rarity was stewing over the news she received earlier. She clung by the punch bowl, tossing a cup of the liquid down her throat once every few seconds.
>Pinkie Pie was… everywhere.
>Twilight were nowhere to be seen. You concede to ask Applejack as to why.
>You didn’t give a shit about Fluttershy.

“Hey, AJ.”
>She turns away from the pony she’s currently talking to you and stomps her hoof as her eyes meet yours.
>”Dangit, Anon. Ah can’ believe yer leavin’ with her! After all we done for you, yer jus’ gonna abandon us?”
>You’re going to hear this a million times tonight. You decide not to argue the point and give her a shrug.
“Guess so.”
>She stomps again.
>”Is that all ya have ta’ say?!”
>She was now drawing the attention of other ponies.
“No, but no matter what I say you’re not going to like the answer. “
>Applejack remained stoic.
“I’ve made my decision and I’d like it if my friends supported me. Or, at least didn’t make this hard.”
>”Ah am gonna make this hard! Ya can’t go with her! She’s too… crude!”
“I thought you had my back on this one.”
>”That was before she done gone got herself chased outta Appleoosa, one of the nicest places Ah know! Takes one awful pony ta do that n’, Anon, she’s one awful Pony.”
>You shrug again. Like you said, you don’t feel like arguing.
“Is Twilight here? I owe her a goodbye, at least.”
>”She ain’ come outta her home since she got released from the hospital. Twi ain’ much of a prideful pony, but what she had got hurt bad.”
“Ouch, that sucks. I’ll pay her a visit before I leave.”
>”Don’. Ah wouldn’ want ya ta turn her into a hobbit, or somethin’.”
>Ouch.
>Applejack squeezes back into the crowd without another word.
>Fuck, you could use a drink.

>Of course Rarity had to be the Captain of the Punch Bowl Guard.
>You lost all will to talk to your friends. You knew it would be bad but you thought they would understand in the end.
>Nope. They’re all vehemently against this.
>Especially Rarity, it seems.
>She growls once you reach the punch bowl.
“You look upset.”
>”Anonymous…”
>She tosses another cup of punch down the hatch. She does know it’s not alcoholic, right?
>”I am very upset.”
“I can’t possibly imagine why. You wanted me out of the house, I’m leaving. Everyone wins.”
>”No. Nopony wins. I’ve been…”
>She catches herself.
>”Nothing. Enjoy your little soiree, Anonymous.”
>She waves you off with a hoof. This wasn’t anything like Rarity. While a little self-absorbed, she’s always been sweet and forgiving.
>Now she’s just bitter and resentful. Maybe… she does like you?
“Do you want to talk about it?”
>”No, I do not.”
“Are you sure?”
>You pour yourself a drink. You’re about to say some things you don’t want to say.
>Punch. Shit.
>Why is the rum always gone?
“You know I care about you.”
>”Do you? I took you in. I gave you a bed, I put food in your belly, I gave you a fake job in hopes you wouldn’t feel bad for accepting all of that! And for what!?”
“Fake… job?”
>”You just abandon us when I need you most! When Ponyville needs-“
“Hold on, that’s the second time someone has told me I’m abandoning everyone here!”
>The ponies begin to gather around you again. You don’t care, you’re sick of this.
>You’re sick of Ponyville.
“Since when has Ponyville NEEDED me!? Hm? How is this not me, moving on to bigger and better things? Do I owe you something? I’d say I paid off any debt and then some with my “Fake job”.”

“And what about Ponyville? Sure, they’ve been very supportive and I cannot thank everyone here enough for that! But, what could they possibly need me for?! They’re fine!”
>A few ponies in the crowd murmur in agreement.
>”They’re not-…”
>She catches herself again, noticing the entirety of Ponyville looking at her.
>She quickly regains her composure and marches out of Sugarcube Corner without another word.
>…
>Fuck!
>That was… Fuck!
>You gotta get out of here. Fuck Ponyville.
>You push through the crowd to Trixie’s corner, where she finishes off the last square of Lemon Bar.
“Trixie, we’re leaving.”
>”Ohff ‘ay.” She still had her mouth stuffed with the damn things.
>She swallows it all in one big gulp before telekinetically taking the second tray of Lemon Bars Mrs. Cake just laid out.
>She then follows in your footsteps out the door and into Ponyville.
>”What was all that about?” She chomps into another bar.
“Nothing, Trixie.”
>”Very well,” She levitates a Lemon Bar in front of your face. “Interested?”
>You nearly smack it away but Lemon Bars are really good so you eat it instead.
>You hear a voice call out to you from behind.
>”Dude, Anon!”
>Now you get to hear all this shit from Rainbow Dash.
>Fucking.
>Great.
>”Man, where you goin’? Party just started.”
>You turn to her, ready to give her the same treatment you gave Rarity.
>Until you processed what she said. Did she miss everything that just happened?
“I’m… going away. After that bullshit I just want to be out of Ponyville. That means-“
>”I totally get you, Anon. That was lame, right?”
“Uh, right.”
>”Yeah, all of Ponyville is lame and… stuff. I was thinking of leaving too.”
>Ah. Is that her angle?

>”Hey, I have an idea!”
“No.”
>”Trixie agrees, no.”
>”I should, like, come with you guys! I can bunk with Anon because we’re best… we’re close!”
“Dash, did you hear me?”
>”Ehhhyeah, but you didn’t even know what I was asking! ... So.”
“No.”
>”Trixie won’t allow it.” Another Lemon Bar in your face. “Would you like another?”
“Oooh~. Yes, please.” You begin waving it around as you talk. “Look, Dash, I know we’re best friends and all, but Ponyville is your home. You have a life here. I don’t.”
>”B-But you can! We can have a life here, Anon. Or on the road, I don’t care.”
>We? Does she mean…
>She can’t possibly be implying…
“Rainbow Dash… You know I can’t be your roommate, I’ll fall right through the floor.”
>Both Rainbow Dash and Trixie look at you, dumbstruck.
>Your Lemon Bar magically leaves your hand.
>”You don’t get to have that, anymore.”
“Why not?”
>She bops you on the head again.
>”Anon.”
>Rainbow Dash flies to eye level and gently places her two front hooves on your face.
>”I… really like you, and-“
“I like you too, bro!”
>Rainbow Dash’s expression drooped as Trixie shorted out a laugh.
>”Forget it, I’m goin’ home. Have a nice life, Anon.”
“What, why?”
>Too late, she’s already gone.
>”You are SO oblivious!”
“What do you mean?”
>She continues to laugh at your misfortune, munching on Lemon Bars, as you lead her to Twilight’s Library.

“Seriously, what’s so funny?”
>She laughs harder every time you ask.
“Man, whatever. I’m just going to pay Twilight a visit so we can get out of here.”
>”Twi-“
“No. You stay outside.”
>”Trixie will-“
“Ruin everything. Stay put.”
>She momentarily stands still before saying, “No.” and running ahead of you, tray of Lemon Bars in tow.
“Trixie…”
>You weren’t in the mood for this shit.
>Trixie opens the door to the Library, yelling, “Twilight Sparkle, your successor, The Great and Powerful Trixie, has returned!” and trots inside with a smug look.
>She is thrown out a window seconds later.
>”She says… She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“… Trixie why?”
>”Trixie doesn’t have to explain-… Where’d they go? Where’d they go!?”
“What?”
>She grabs on to your collar.
>”THE LEMON BARS, YOU FOOL!”
>…
>Trixie, you’re killing me.
>This whole day has been a disaster. The only thing that could make it worse is an appearance by…
>Fluttershy…
>… No? Not going to come out of nowhere and try to abuse your supple, human body?
>Well, that IS one good thing. Still, shitty day n’ all.
“Can we just go? I’ve been here for half a day and it’s killing me. I don’t wish to waste another second when we could be makin’ bits.”
>She tightens her grip on your collar.
>”Bits? Now you’re speaking Trixie’s language!”
>Still on her hind legs, she wraps a foreleg around your neck and points a hoof off into the distance.
>”Next stop, Hoofington!”

>You are mad.
>You’ve had enough of his illusiveness.
>It was a game, at first.
>You’d look so innocent when trying to do something horrible.
>Then you slowly, progressively got closer.
>He only saw you as an annoyance.
>He was going to regret taking you so lightly.
>You almost had him. Pinned in an alleyway on the brim on Ponyville
>Then… That STUPID BLUE UNICORN HAD TO COME A RUIN EVERYTHING!
>You HAD him in your hooves! He was YOURS!
>And she took him away!
>But, you’re going to get him back!
>Yes… You have friends. Friends who can help!
>No, not the ponies back in Ponyville.
>They don’t know or understand.
>They think it’s cute.
>This isn’t cute.
>This isn’t an innocent crush or compassionate love, no matter how many times Rarity tries to tell you it is.
>This is pure carnal lust.
>Animalistic traits that your species should never show.
>And you cannot WAIT to unleash them upon Anonymous.
>Soon.
>It will be soon.
>You are Fluttershy.
>And you are mad.