DAiE Ch. 7 P. 1 - The Big Day Part 1

>You are Doctor Anonymous.
>And right now, you're slightly confused.
>You're dreaming.
>You know you're dreaming, because you're currently floating through an infinite black space with no gravity.
>You were scheduled to talk to Discord tonight, but he's nowhere to be seen.
>Also, this floating thing is getting sort of tired.
>You try to stand, and sure enough, your foot finds purchase in the void.
>Which causes you to fall on your ass, since you were in no position to stand up straight.
>Lucid dreaming is odd.
>You get up, looking around.
>Suddenly, a brick smacks into your head.
>You clutch your skull, expecting it to hurt, but the pain never comes.
>Right, dream.
>Wrapped around it is a note. From Discord, no doubt.
>You take it off, and unfold it. The handwriting is a bit difficult to read, but you acclimate to it soon enough.
>"Dear Doctor,
>My apologies for having to cancel our appointment tonight, but I am very busy. As I expect you are! Tomorrow is the big day, right? The big day for you, what the fundraiser. But it's also a big day for me!
>Why, you ask? Why, that's a little secret of mine. But, I can't resist giving hints. You see, tomorrow, I have a plan for something amazing. It involves you, y'know. Don't worry, you won't need to do anything different, at all!
>If all goes well, we may very well be meeting face to face! Isn't that exciting?!
>Well, good luck with the fundraiser. I'm sure you'll get the money you need for that fabulous invention of yours.
>Until we see each other again,
>Discord."

>Hmm. You wrap the note back around the brick and toss it aside.
>You're not sure whether it's Discord actually bringing you into this lucid dream, or all your practice talking to him, but you're now in your own dreamscape, without a certain chaotic fellow to take the helm.
>You can experience anything you want here.
>With that thought, you hear a bright, bubbly voice.
>"Hi Doc!"
>You turn around, and there's Pinkamina, in her pink glory. The sight of her brings a smile to your face.
"Hello, Pinkamina."
>She stands up on her back legs, and extends her arms forward, smiling. She wants a hug.
>And you're all too keen to give it to her.
>You meet her warm embrace, inhaling her cotton candy scent.
>It's familiar. Comforting.
>You feel like you could hug this pony forever.
>So you do. Your grip on her grows tighter, and she squeaks happily, burying her face into your chest.
>It takes a long time before you notice an odd sound coming from her.
>She's shaking.

"Pinkamina?"
>You try to get her attention, with no response.
>Something warm and wet is on your chest.
>You break the hug and try to push Pinkamina off you. She's limp.
>Only now do you realize that the sound is her crying. Her hair has fallen, gone suddenly straight.
>Her eyes are full of pain, and helplessness.
>Then you see it. The massive, jagged knife driven into her chest.
"PINKAMINA!"
>You freeze up in panic, forgetting you're in a dream.
>"Why... why did you do it, Doc?"
"Wh-what, I didn't!"
>"I trusted you..."
"Pinka-"
>"I LOVED YOU!"
>Her hoof reaches up and pulls the knife out of her chest. It lets out a sickening, wet sound as more flesh is sliced by the blade's exit.
>"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"
>She dives for you, the knife plummeting towards your confused, stunned body.
"I DO!"
>You shoot up in your bed, drenched in cold sweat.
"Fuck, fuck, oh fuck."
>That... wasn't what you wanted at all.
>You fall backwards, the pillow catching your head softly.
>It takes a long time before you get back to sleep.

>You are Doctor Anonymous.
>And right now, you're feeling completely uneasy.
>You're back in Canterlot, and the fundraiser party is already a hit.
>Mares and colts in fancy outfits meander around you, while several ask you questions about your invention.
>You've just finished giving a presentation on its purpose and abilities, and now your job is to go about and socialize. Try to make the idle rich interested enough to fund you.
>You hate it with such a passion.
>They're attempting to ask thoughtful questions about the device, but they really don't understand it.
>Which is just as well, it's probably better if they don't.
>But the antisocial nut that you are is dying to be alone right now.
>Or at least with someone you know.
>"Anonymous!"
>You never thought you would be so happy to hear Rarity's voice.
"One second, everp0ny. I need to go see what my friend needs."
>You excuse yourself and rush as subtly as you can over to her.
"Hello Rarity."
>"Bonjour, darling! I hope I didn't pull you from something important."
"Nothing's more important than my friends."
>Which is a lie. But a nice one, and a convenient one.
>She smiles warmly at it. "Well, I do hate to remove you from your lovely party, but someone is waiting for you in the statuary."
>Discord, maybe?
>"Pinkie has something to talk to you about."
"Ah! Well, I shouldn't keep my student waiting, should I?"
>She gives you some odd look. But nods. "Go, darling."
>You start to leave, but you bump into some old pony with a stark, white mane and pale red fur.
>And... yellow eyes?
>"Oh, sorry youngster."
>His voice sounds familiar, somehow.
>But, you shrug it off and apologize yourself. You've got a certain mare to meet.

>You give a brisk sigh as you walk through the statuary.
>To think, this place gave you the creeps.
>It's actually pretty pleasant.
>You walk past the statue of Discord, or... maybe it IS Discord. You're not really sure how that works.
>But you tip an imaginary hat to him, chuckling to yourself.
>Finally, you see a pink dot growing on the horizon. Pinkamina's sitting on a bench, kicking her hooves back and forth.
>She's wearing an adorable little blue dress. It matches her eyes, which light up as she sees you coming.
"Hello Pinkamina! The fundraiser is going marvelously!"
>She smiles. Nervously. Why is she nervous?
>"Good! I really... hope you get what you need, Doc."
>You sit on the bench next to her, and place a hand on her shoulder.
"I'd be lost here without you, y'know?"
>She looks away, blushing.
"I mean it. Your parties, your advice, your... friendship. It's the only thing that's kept me going."
>"Then... why do you want to leave?"
>You sigh.
"Pinkamina. Do you remember when you were telling me why you were throwing all these parties and constantly helping me?"
>"Yeah."
"Well.. if you -were- stuck somewhere else. If you -did- have friends that you missed. Things you still wanted to do back home... and then you got the chance to go back, wouldn't you?"
>She pauses.
>"I would..."
>"But..."
>"Not if I met someone like you."

>Your heart skips a beat.
>Oh, no, Pinkamina. Don't do this.
>"Doc, I..."
>She looks back to you, her bright, blue eyes filled with every possible emotion.
>"I... like you."
>"Buck, I love you. You're everything that I want."
>Everything that I want.
>You repeat it in your head.
>It's what you said to Discord about her.
>"Ever since you've come to Ponyville, I've felt like... I really had someone who I could trust. Someone who actually understands what it's like to be a little weird."
>Or a lot weird.
>"...or a lot weird."
>Now it's your turn to look away.
>"I... I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay, and... and be my special somep-... someone."
>You get up from the bench.
"I want that too, Pinkamina."
>You look back to her. You can't control the tears that well up in your eyes.
"But I can't."

>You can practically hear her heart falling.
>"Wha... why not?"
"Because I'm -too- weird, Pinkamina. I can't even... I can't even hug you without feeling like I want to rip my own skin off."
>You start to walk away from the bench, pacing back and forth.
"It's not that I don't enjoy it, I just... something deep, and primal can't stand the thought of... touching someone else. Somepony else. If I do, I can't stop thinking about the dirt, and the grime, and the germs, and the disease, and..."
>You sigh, trying to hold back the pain in your voice.
"There's not one second I don't want to change. But I can't. I've tried so hard to make this work, but I'm..."
>"You don't-"
"I'M FUCKED IN THE HEAD, PINKAMINA!"
>She recoils back from your burst of anger.
"I can't do that to you. Do you remember what happened when the Princess rustled my jimmies? Do you know how long it took to even be -ABLE- to hug you?!"
>"I can wa-"
"It's not a matter of waiting, Pinkamina! I can't change. And even if I could, I'm not putting you through that."
>She bites her lip, tears starting to fall from her eyes now, too.
"I'm... I'm not... you deserve better, Pinkamina. Someone who can show you they love you."
>"But-"
"And that isn't me."
>A hoof reaches out for you. You step back, and the hurt crawls across her face.
"I'm.. I'm so sorry."
>With that, you leave the statuary.

>You are Rarity.
>And right now, you are having the time of your life.
>You're speaking a very rich, very handsome colt, laughing at some inane joke he made.
>You love Canterlot parties.
>You're about to give a witty retort, before a hoof taps on your shoulder.
>Slightly annoyed, you look back and see a red old colt with a wildly styled white mane.
>And... yellow eyes?
>You shake it off. You must be seeing things.
>"Pardon me, miss, but I saw you talking with the Doctor, do you know him?"
"Why, yes, he's a good friend of mine."
>"Well, I bumped into him by accident, earlier, and I've been trying to find him, because he dropped this."
>He hands you a beaten leather notebook. You've seen Anon writing in it before.
"Oh! That's his journal! Thank you very much sir. I'll find him and return it."
>"Oh, good, good."
>He stumbles off shakily. You can't place it, but something about him seemed very familiar.
>"Well, as I was saying-"
>You sigh.
"I'm sorry, dear, but I really should get this back to my friend. I won't take but a moment."
>He gives a short "hmph!" and walks away. Great.
>Anon better appreciate this.
>You start trotting off towards the statuary.

>Before long, you start getting that urge.
>No, Rarity. You musn't. This is Anon's private journal!
>But think of the scandal Rarity. All the juicy secrets!
>No. You are Anon's friend. He trusts you.
>You don't need to tell anyone. Just a little peek wouldn't hurt, would it?
>Yes, it would. Even if you never revealed its contents to anyone, you would be betraying Anon's trust.
>But-
>No.
>But!
>No!
>BUT!
>No!
>But-
>OH FINE ONE LITTLE PEEK.
>You open the journal, and start devouring the text with your eyes.
>It's... actually rather boring.
>Notes from his first day in Ponyville.
>You skip a few pages. Most of them are filled with rough diagrams and sketches. Things that go way over your head.
>Ah, this page looks important. Lots of exclamation points.
>Lots of... oh dear.
>Your stomach sinks as you read.
>Oh, dear, oh dear.
>This isn't right at all.
>Anonymous... how could you?
>Maybe he shouldn't get this back.
>You think there's somep0ny else who deserves to see this.

>You are Doctor Anonymous.
>And right now, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
>You're in a public bathroom, splashing your face with water from the sink, trying to calm down.
"FUCK!"
>You smash your hand into the marble countertop, causing a small crack in the hard stone surface.
>Your every thought is racing. Did you do the right thing?
>"What the fuck do you mean did you do the right thing?"
>What?
>You look up, and around, trying to see who's there.
"Hello?"
>"Over here, moron."
>You turn to the source of the sound, only to find yourself staring into the mirror.
"Wh..."
>"Shut the fuck up."
>Oh. Good. Your reflection is talking to you.
>"I'm not your reflection, asshole, I'm your subconcious."
>Oh. Good. Your subconcious is talking to you.
>Suddenly, your hand reaches out from the mirror, and grabs you by the tie, pulling you face first into the glass. Hard.
>"Listen here, you fucking pansy, you go back and tell that mare you love her, and that you'll make it work."
>You try to push yourself off the glass, but all you manage to do is give yourself more room to slam face-first back into the mirror. A warm trickle of blood leaks down your face from your nose.
"L-let g-"
>"Fuck no, I'm not letting go until you get it through your head. You fucked up today, partner. You fucked up good, and you better hope you can fix it."
"Th-there's nothing to fix, it won't wor-"
>"BULLSHIT! You don't KNOW it won't work. You've never even HAD a girlfriend!"
"Be-beca-"
>"Because you're a fucking PUSSY, Anon. You won't even try to work past what you think is wrong with you, because you don't think your good enough for the effort!"

"I'm no-"
>"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THAT BULLSHIT! I am SO TIRED of you wasting your goddamn potential!"
>Your tie is released, and you fall forward, catching yourself before you tumble into the counter.
>"Every time you come close to being really happy, you fuck it up! But it's not because you're antisocial, or don't know how to interact with girls, it's because you don't even really TRY!"
>You look up at your reflection. You have never seen yourself this furious.
>"And when someone, some -pony- tries to bridge that gap? To move for YOU? You push her away."
>You watch your blood dripping down the glass, holding your hand to your nose to try and staunch the flow.
>"And y'know what, if there's anyone you DON'T deserve, it's Pinkamina. She's kind, and caring, and sweet, and you've done nothing but lead her on and betray her!"
"I didn't-"
>"No, you fucking did. The only reason you even entertained being friends with her in the first place is getting something out of her. You even put her in danger to further your own ends."
"But-"
>"No. I don't care what you have to say, what bullshit rationalizations you want to make for your actions. You haven't done one single thing right, and that mare still wants you. And you want her. What the fuck are you doing, rejecting her?"
>Fuck.
>He's right.
>You're right?
>Whatever.
>You've made a terrible mistake.
>"No shit, Sherlock."
>Shut the fuck up subconscious.
>"Hey, fuck you too."
>You don't have time to argue with yourself anymore.
>You've got to talk to Pinkamina.
>And this time, you're not going to fuck it up.
>Not any more.

>You are Pinkie Pie.
>And right now, you just don't understand.
>Tears stream down your face as your chest heaves with every painful sob.
>You don't understand what you did wrong.
>Why he can't be with you if he likes you.
>"Pinkie!"
>You hear Rarity call out to you, but you don't even have the heart to raise your head.
>You don't feel like doing anything right now.
>The clops of her hooves finally slow down as she reaches you, she's panting heavily, and her mane is disorderly.
>"Pinkie, there's something you need to see."
"Rarity, I..."
>"Pinkie-"
"He said no, Rarity."
>"That's a good thing, Pinkie."
>You feel a deep twinge of anger.
"A GOOD THING?! How can it be a-"
>"Pinkie."
>Rarity is giving you her serious face. Her magic shoves a small leather-bound book into your face.
>"Read."
>It's Anon's handwriting.
>You start reading.
>And your anger?
>Well, it only grows.
>You try to be a sweet pony.
>You really do.
>You just want everyp0ny to smile, and be happy.
>So when you're upset, you lock it up.
>You can't make people smile when you're upset.
>But every so often.
>Something happens that you can't lock up.
>And when your lock breaks?
>Everything comes spilling out.
>You become somep0ny else, sort of.
>Your hair falls from its poofy, perky shape.
>Your hooves grip the pages so hard that the book bends slightly.
>"Pinkie, I-"
"Shut up, Rarity."
>You've got to talk to Anonymous.

>You are Doctor Anon.
>And right now, you're running as fast and as hard as your augmented legs can take you.
>Which is pretty fucking fast.
>You reach the statuary, your eyes darting around to look for something Pink.
"Pinkamina?!"
>"I'm right here, Anon."
>You turn to see a strange, pink mare standing by a familiar statue.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm looking for-"
>"Shut the buck up, Anon."
>You look again. It IS her. What's happened to her hair?
"Pinkam-"
>"What the buck is this?"
>What the fuck IS th-
>Your journal?
>Oh.
>Fuck.
"Please tell me you didn't read tha-"
>"I read it."
>Your mouth goes dry.
"How much?"
>"Enough."
>That journal has notes that... don't paint you in a flattering light.
"Pinkamina, look, I can explai-"
>"No explanation necessary, Doc." She spits out her nickname for you with complete contempt.
>"I get it. It makes sense now."
"Pin-"
>"Shut up."
>She starts walking towards you. You don't notice the crack forming in a nearby statue.
>"You don't love me. You don't even like me. I'm a resource to you. Just another tool."
"Pinkamina, I-"
>"You were only ever my friend because I was USEFUL. Because you knew I could get you HOME!"

"You didn't rea-"
>"YOU WERE NEVER MY FRIEND!"
"I WAS!"
>"DON'T LIE TO ME, ANON! I READ WHAT YOU WROTE!"
"PINKAMI-"
>"SHUT UP!"
>In a flash, you feel pain, and the world is spinning. There's a sickening crack as Pinkamina's hoof connects with your skull. You fall to the ground.
>There's the strange sound of stone shattering.
>"Pinkie!"
>"SHUT UP, RARITY!"
>When your vision returns, you see Pinkamina standing over you, tears streaming from her eyes, her hoof rearing to punch you again.
>You motion to cover your face, but the second blow never comes.
>When you finally come to your senses, you don't see Pinkamina.
>You prop yourself up, and your stomach turns at what you see.
>Discord.
>His talonned hand wrapped around Pinkamina's throat.
>"Ehh.. what's up, Doc?"