Mister Cliche Tour Script

MISTER CLICHÉ

CHARACTER PROFILE: Our humble masculine host, Mister Cliché runs this grand house of sin. He is a supportive and fair sort of man, making sure the practical needs of the house are met, as well as keeping the peace whenever the sins get out of control. He established the house centuries ago, though he looks to be a man in at least his mid-30s with a welcoming boyish grin and attractive frame. His motivation is to guide the “listener” through the house, showing her to each door and giving little insights into the character of each gentleman sin; as he does so, he will slowly be revealing his own character. This subtle reveal will entice some of the listeners into realizing that Cliché is also an erotic encounter option for the adventure, his sex scene one of passion and tenderness.

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										[Suggested SFX] (Vocal Cues) *Emphasis*


SCENE 1, OPENER AND WELCOME

(Neutral narration voice as this will lead into character dialogue after some simple SFX.)

A good distance outside of the city, if you follow the curve of the old highway you will come around a heavy bend, bringing into view two grand hills. Atop each is a large manor, nearly identical in every way to each other; you were told this was to be expected. The house you were looking for would be the one on the right, the weathered grey tones of its carpentry apparent even from here in the fading sunlight. The second is richly looking redwoods and ambers. You continue your ascent up the sway of the hill until you reach the tight gravel of its drive. As if on cue, the sun disappears behind the horizon and all the windows alight with the most welcoming of yellow glows. You’re not sure exactly what to expect, you’ve only heard tales of these mansions and the delights there in, but today brought you no other adventures to be had, so you allow your feet to push you towards the grand entrance.

[Sound of steady steps on gravel or walkway.]

Before you can knock, the door opens and you feel a pleasant warmth blow past you and a tall, impressing figure steps into view.

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[Sound of old, wooden door opening simultaneous with narration?] [Perhaps soft music or crackling fire.]

Ahh, Hello Sweetheart!  Welcome, welcome. Please, do come in. From the looks of it, I’d say you’ve come to the right place. (Small chuckle) Oh, don’t be embarrassed, love; we serve a good number of select patrons daily and of *various* walks of life, so all are equal in our eyes. No worries, darling -- our house of ill-repute is very concerned with our reputation and yours, so discretion reigns supreme here.

(Pause, then adds)  And, not to sound too proud, but *all* walk out just as equally satisfied in their own rights. (Imagine him turning in a sweeping gesture) *This* is Mister Cliché’s House of Insatiable Sins -- where our boys strive to fulfill your fantasies whatever they may be -- and I promise *my boys* do it so, so well. (Laugh, then an assessing pause.)

Hmm… Now, let me take a look at you… Hmph! (Sounding cheerful/pleased)

Very nice… very… *hungry*.  (Pause.)

I think I know (Lower tone with promiscuity) *exactly* what you may be looking for to sate your appetite, but I’ll just keep my ideas to myself for now… (Full teasing laugh) Afterall, if I’m wrong -- although I rarely am -- I don’t want to have swayed you in any way.

(Slight exhale and pause as if considering the pleasures to come for the patron/their tastes.)

Speaking of which, we better get moving!  [Sounds of walking down a hallway, voice fading in the  distance before rejoined in the next paragraph] It’s time for your first steps through my lovely, humble house of hedonistic fulfillment… (Excited, anticipatory noise)... All the fun you are going to have... I bet you cannot even imagine.

[Few seconds of just footsteps.]

(Sounding interested, mildly concerned) Do you like my home?

It’s been around… well, as long as sin! (Laughs at cleverness) But such a cozy feel to it I think… luxurious woven carpets, heavy cool toned drapes, polished (said looking back with a naughty smile) hardwoods.

(Small chuckle) Oh, why do I bother?! You didn’t come here to hear about my talents as a decorator, did you? (Knowing laugh then pause, slight sigh) Oh? You don’t mind? You’re sweet, gorgeous, but I won’t bother you another moment with it…

[Footsteps stop.]

Besides… We’ve arrived at your first stop, but this will be just the start of your journey, I think.

*Everyone* is treated to the delicious trip of self-evaluation behind this door -- Oh, don’t worry, we like to keep things fun and sexy, but it never hurts to *get in the headspace*, right? (Chuckle.) And this is the room for that.

We’ve taken to calling him our own personal Master of Ceremonies; he has gotten quite effective at fleshing out the desires of our visitors, often times ones they didn’t even realize they had… [Sound of a soft knock on a door, then a small clicking sound of it opening]. Make no mistake, he’s a ‘working’ boy too, he’s just very skilled at getting a good read of a bad girl. (Chuckle.) Just teasing, love. It’s sort of my business.

(Pause before a small amused, but warm chuckle) Oh come now girl, no need to be shy… Gentleman Lust has been receiving our visitors, and exceptionally so, for some time now. He can feel you out and warm your blood, or (Lifted pause) if you are looking to really let go, he is fantastic at extracting that first good set of orgasmic shudders. (A small hum of nostalgic awe).

Like I said before, all are equal in our eyes and we understand (pause) some need a little more, some need a little less. So please… [Door swinging open] I know his room looks simple and nearly empty, but I promise, that only means he has a lot of *wiggle room* when it comes to preparing you for all the exploration to be had during your stay. Remember, the most powerful sexual organ in the body is the one right here - (touches his head) your mind. That’s what gentleman Lust will want to investigate first.

So, in you go! I’ll return shortly love; have a sit in his chair, he’s waiting. (Small chuckle).

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SCENE 2, NOW ONTO THE ROOMS, IF YOU AREN’T ALREADY TIRED

Oh Lust, he’s something else, is he not? I told you. Perhaps I should have *warned* you. (Chuckle) He knows how to strike at the very heart and heat of a lady.

So demanding, so needy… (in wonder) such *an imagination*! (Breathless chuckle.)

I hope he has thoroughly prepared you for things to come, I can’t wait to show you the rest of the house and what lies within…

[Footsteps start down the hall but after a handful they pause.]

Although, if you wish at any time I can show you out of the house if you’ve concluded your business with us this eve-- there is certainly no shame to be felt in admitting when you’ve been thoroughly satisfied and need to shuffle off. In the House of Sin we’ve learned the spirit is *always willing*, but the flesh can be weak and need silly things like food and sleep. (Laughs.)

*AND* there’s no scheduling system here -- we’re always open and prefer to take walk-ins, if I’m honest. We could never turn away a curious stranger interested in some sinful exploration. I just know that sometimes our patrons come and a little taste of Lust is all they were needing, in which case we would never demand that you dally longer than you’re able, sweetheart.

… Unless you’re into taking orders, in which case, we’ve got a room for that. (Chuckle).

The offer is always there if should you ever need to leave, love; no judgements at all!

(Warmly) In any event, we shall walk the same halls to get there.

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SCENE 3: THE FIRST DOOR WE COME TO IS PRIDE

[Sounds of walking down a hall.]

You know I remember when I was first introduced to Lust -- of course, I was *much* younger than I am now… (Single laugh) Oh? (Chuckle.) And exactly how *young* do you think I am? … (A hearty appreciative laugh) You’re sweet, but you are off by about… hmmm… a couple centuries?

(Playfully offended) I’m completely serious, being the gentleman host in this house does come with a few perks -- immortality and youthful looks being a couple. I told you darling, these impulses are as old as man himself. (Lower tone, a secret revealed)  Somebody has to be able to keep up with the boys and the practical side of their living situation.

(Chuckle, then a thoughtful pause, wistful) It’s not all I thought it would be; being companions for ages, the boys and myself are all very close, but I think we all feel pangs of our own sorts of loneliness.

(Contemplative pause, then shakes himself out of it, clears throat) Anyways, here we are… oh yes, the door is very fancy -- (said grandly and as if slightly mocking) Pride, himself,  would have no less! (Chuckles.)

(Catching on to her slight interest) Ooooh… You devilish woman, I could see it in your eyes when you walked in. Oh, there's nothing to be ashamed of really; some are predators, some are prey.

(Almost sweet talk) Oh, and kitten, there’s nothing wrong with desiring to be a hunter’s prize; however, I don’t think this door is for you if that’s what you’re truly after. Well, how to put it… Pride is quite frankly an asshole. (Nervous laughter) Okay, so … Think back to that man you used to know back in school or your last job that just could have any woman he wanted, and usually did. You know the type. Attractive, confident, (Slyly) well endowed; not the sort one dates, but definitely the makes of a good fuck. And mmm you do seem to be rather hungry... he won't be easy to impress you know, he is *pride incarnate* after all, but my my... what a lovely moment it will make to hear him groan while you service his cock. (Thoughtful pause then softly) I can feel the raw sexuality inside of you, love; I rather think you could give him something to remember. (Chuckle) Mmhmm... a man never forgets when he’s met his match, or so I've heard.

But don’t let me sway you darling, the choice is completely yours to make. We’ve plenty of doors left if you are craving something of a different avenue this eve. So, what do you think, gorgeous? You want to see if you can impress with the cocky lad, or shall we move on?

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SCENE 4: MAYBE SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE SLOW AND SLOTHFUL?

[Steps continuing on.]

(After a few moments of him silence)  OH no! Not at all, honey! *Prince* Pride, or myself, aren’t offended at all that you want to explore the other doors. Well, Pride may be a touch offended, he hates to be passed over, as you can imagine. (Chuckles) That’s what the options are here for though! We equate it to some times when you have a sweet tooth you want vanilla, sometimes chocolate.

Oooh! Or perhaps a fruit tart with sugar lacing… Mmmm…

Or a decadent red velvet with cream cheese frosting and white chocolate swirlings…

(Small playful groan) Ughh! You are trouble; (Chuckle and mildly flirty) now I’m in the mood for something sweet myself!

(Chuckles quiet down) You are completely right, nothing wrong with indulging every now and again! What sort of House of Sin host would I be if I thought otherwise? Right again, dear -- not a very good one at all! Lucky for the boys and you, (beaming) I am very *good* at my job.

Huh? Oh, I’m not all work and no play -- but the role is rather demanding, so I often find that there’s always something to take care of. And the boys take care of all our lovely visitors. It’s quite the little cozy circle of life I guess. (Small throaty noise of contentment.)

(Said softly) Oh, one second please… [Small knock.]

(Pause) Okay good… Oh, no… (Assuring) He is always taking guests… it’s just sometimes depending on if he is in the middle of a good book or there’s a boss battle going on, he can be quite *feisty*. (Laugh). Oh no worries, dear -- most of the time he is as docile and cuddly as a puppy. He however doesn’t like being interrupted for just *anything*. He is a fun boy though… usually quite chill, but every now and then, I get a politely yelled ‘Fuck off!’ when I knock. (chuckles) Don’t worry about it much, he just gets in the zone, you know? All I do is remind him why he is here, probably a tad more polite-- kill them with kindness you know, and he snaps out of it pretty quick.

Ahh, did I catch a little flicker of interest there? (Laughs.)

So, that's it huh? It does sound rather nice; a nice comfortable lounging about combined with some good old fashioned sensuality. He is *definitely* the type for that. If *ever* there was a boy for Netflix and chill -- that’s our erotically charged little cuddle bug. (Chuckle) If he were the obsessive sort I’m sure he may even give Envy pause, but he’s not too terribly into the boyfriend scene. He’s simple more cas’ **Abbreviated for casual**, even though a lot of the gents tease him about being the house ‘softie’.(Thoughtful exhale.)

So? Am I right? You down for some sexy simplicity? Or should we keep walking?

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SCENE 5: ARE YOU SURE? I MEAN, IT’S WRATH…

[Walking down the hall.]

Me? Well, I’ve been known to participate in a little electronic entertainment sometimes… Sloth has pulled me in on a game or two. I played out of curiosity. I will concede there is a certain thrill in decimating the competition, or staging an epic comeback! (Chuckles) But I’m more of a bookworm, to be honest. Uh.. (Almost hesitant) mostly mystery, sometimes a good medieval fantasy or something dystopian-- (as if said with a wink) throw in a good erotic piece of fiction here and there.

Hmm? (Laughs) Well to be fair, I think most of the general population are into the Netflix & chill score, don’t you agree? However, I will say definitely yes -- I too would more than likely stay in and enjoy a good film or book paired with a good home cooked meal, as opposed to going out and dealing with the rabble of the public or noisy city nightlife. Perhaps I am just a creature of habit, I don’t like to stray too far from my domain.

[Few more moments of footsteps before they cease.]
I’d have to say that the gentleman behind this door feels the same, if not extremely so. He is certainly not the cute and cuddly sort; let alone the type to be openly friendly.

(Chuckles) Don’t worry, the door is a little bit of an intimidation device but he is just severe like that - big, (ominous) cold, iron door with a sturdy looking lock to establish his vibe. Our stormy Sir Wrath is (hesitant) *very particular* about things. (Remembering) He came to me ages ago, the first handful of centuries were rough. Though given some time and his own personal space to work with, he has channeled a lot of that energy into something much more… positive, that a good number of people consider *red hot*.

(Cringey noise) Oof. I’m not trying to get you to change your mind or anything but I will wish you good luck with this one, *if* you choose to enter his room that is. He's been known to put women to rest. (Laughs) Well not *literally*, though I would be surprised if you didn’t walk out with a few little marks of visual evidence from your little romp. (Knowing chuckle.)

So, what do you say cutie? Dare to take a walk down Submissive Avenue? Or shall we move on?

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SCENE 6: YOU THINK YOU’RE HUNGRY? WAIT TIL YOU MEET, GLUTTONY…

[Footsteps.]

(Laugh) Oh, I wish I could tell you, love. None of us are quite sure where all that anger comes from. (Turning and speaking candidly) If  you could believe, he used to be *much* angrier? (Continuing on matter of fact) Overtime, he’s mellowed a teensy bit. I personally think it’s done him a world of good to put that hate and well, simple vexation into something healthier and more exhaustive. I mean, just look at all the pleasure that’s come of it! (chuckles.)

[Footsteps stop.]

(Amused) Speaking of extremes, I suppose our guy Gluttony is quite *extreme* in his hunger. Forgive me for my bold speech, but this gentleman is quite sloppy. Oh! No, not dirty… just like very messy. (Huffs) Oh I’ll just say it! He loves cum, everything about it. He will gladly take it, anywhere and at anytime. He desires to have his face *covered* in it, loves to feel the wet slick honey on his fingers. (Pause and then low enticing tone) But most of all… he adores the taste of it. He loves to suck and lap at a cunt until it’s ready to gush for him and then gladly swallow every ounce of that sweet nectar. In fact, sometimes he adores to drive the ladies mad by really getting into it. He loves the feel of puffy, red hot spent pussy lips against his tongue, so he can get rather relentless. (Chuckles.)

(Shocked) Me?! W-Well I mean, I love cum as much as the next man (Laughs nervously), but Gluttony is something else. It’s (Searches for the words) like.. the whole beginning and end for him. Most men, myself being no exception, like to feel it covering their cocks or when especially naughty, going down on a writhing sex pot to hear her scream (Naughty chuckle), but the boy behind this door knows no bounds. He will work you up and work you up, edging you until you can’t hold it in anymore -- he wants you to get him sticky! (Laughs) So, if you want to give him a whirl, be ready to be drained, love, of *everything*. (Punctuating his point) Of Every. Last. Drop.

So, what do you say, honey? Think you can satisfy our hungry boy?

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SCENE 7: SURE, YOU WANT TO BE DESIRED, BUT… ENVY IS ANOTHER LEVEL

[Steps going down the hall.]

Don’t be ashamed at all sweetheart. Some can cum for days, others not so much. And to be honest, some -- myself included-- just don’t like to get too wrapped up in one part of sex so... voraciously. (Laughs) What is it that all the kids are saying now days? (Thinking) Uh, ‘different strokes for different folks’? (Laughs again, amused) Such a sentiment, such a fact, and very appropriate for Gluttony’s habits.

We are all into different things, my house alone is only a taste of things out there that can be offered sexually. (Turns and sounds confidently quiet) We do alright though, I think. And even once in a blue moon, we tend to go off script and get a little taboo just to shake things up. (Chuckle) You must come back and visit during that season, *if* that is your thing that is.

(Pauses and hums as listening) The questions you ask, so curious and sweet! They could make a man blush! (Shy chuckles) Though yes, I am known to get a little primal and needy myself, even dabbling into some taboo kinks from time to time. I just have to simply *be in the mood*, as they say.

[Footsteps soften and then come to a halt as he begins to speak.]

(Whispering and continue on) Here we are. Simple door, for a simple, sweet boy next, well, door. (Laughs, but then decreases volume again quickly; pauses wondering if he was heard.)

(Soft talk, whispers throughout the rest of the scene.)

Sorry if my whispering seems odd… but well our sweet gentleman Envy is quite the … well, eager sort. He waits, sometimes right inside the door for his next lady caller. I usually whisper so as not to work him up in a tizzy in case you decide against entering his door.

(Chuckle) Obsessed is a *little bit* of an understatement at times!

That said, (Pause and playful) there is something about this man.

(Enamored) When he looks at you with those bright, needy, *worshipful* eyes, begging for your attention… Those soulful artistic eyes, his sensitive nature. Oof it’s enough to make any person give in, (barely constrained humourous groan of delight) he’s just so adorable as fuck!

Anyways, I thought he might be right up your alley... what lady *doesn't* like to feel admired and yet, like an absolutely beside herself sinfully worshipped sex goddess? (Chuckle.)

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SCENE 8: YOU’RE IN FOR A TASK WITH THIS ONE, GREED ALWAYS NEEDS MORE

[Steps down the hall, slower than before a little.]

(Coming out of deep thought) Hmm? Ah, no just thinking. We’ve nearly reached the end of the tour, darling. I hope you’ve enjoyed your visit. (Trying to remain in professional cheer) Don’t worry about me love, I am just a sap and have a thing about goodbyes. (Chuckles) The boys call me ‘Mom’ sometimes and tease me for being so sentimental, but what can I do? I can only *be* myself. (Flirty) Considering I run this house, I figure it’s not so terrible a trade, wouldn’t you think? Right? (Chuckles.)

[Continues walking.]

The wonderful thing about our set up though is that you can *always* come back! So I don’t ever get too mopey about when it’s time for guests to leave, (happy) they always come back! (Flirty again) I look forward to your *return* already. (Inhale and exhale.)

[Footsteps stop.]

Ahh, here we are, last stop! (Chuckles.)

(Thinking) How to explain this one? Well… Greed is… (Struggling) Look (pauses and speaks gently) Every whimper, every moan, every thrash of your head against the bed sheets? All of these combined a few times over is still never enough for this man. So, some would say he’s a bit overwhelming at times. (Chuckle) Now, where they are right, they are also wrong. (Matter of fact) More than anything, Greed is demanding and wants to *extract* the most out of every transaction. Sometimes it’s not even about anything particularly physical. He simply desires to collect something which isn’t his, understand? He craves a woman’s ecstasy. He gets limits, but he also isn’t one to let you *get off* that easily. (Laugh.)

(Amused, in thought) Hmph… such a silly, ravenous fellow.

(Explaining) See, he loves big women, big breasts, smaller breasts, normal women, even petite women. Fingers, hands, lips, feeling you cum… he desires to feel it all. He is kind of a (finding phrasing) hoarder of sexual experiences. He wants to experience *everything*. His tastes are rich and results driven, but the man simply wants it all. (Laughs) Oh yeah, on top of everything else, he is very much the charming bachelor. You’ll see but his room is just *brimming* with proof of his refined tastes, even some gifts from some *very* grateful ladies. For him it’s not so much getting the gifts, but reminiscing on the lady he spent time with; his mementos - recalling her ever sigh and moan. Like I said, pure greed for a woman’s pleasure. (Chuckle.)

Think you are up for the challenge, love?

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SCENE 9: WE HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOUR STAY (LEAVE OPTION)

[Footsteps as he leads to the exit, humming as he walks then stops at the exit.]

(Small pleased laugh, and then teasingly) *Well* that was an adventure, was it not? (Pause) Did you really think so? Ahh, it pleases me to hear you say it! I know they are just a bunch of little hellhounds a lot of the time, but they are good boys, in their own little ways -- I am happy you derived some pleasure from your time with them. Oh? What shall we do with the rest of the night? (Laughs cheerfully) My dear, haven’t you heard (Drops to a sultry tone) there’s no rest for the wicked. (Small flirtatious chuckle) Mister Cliché’s House of Insatiable Sins is *always* open, so got to keep those home fires burning and all that jazz.

(Regretful sigh) Anyhow gorgeous, I guess this is where we part ways. We are *so* happy you dropped in for a spell anytime, and we certainly hope that you will come back and visit us! And if I may be bold in saying, (low and teasing) sooner rather than later! (Chuckle) I will bid you goodnight, darling -- (Warm) it’s been *our* pleasure. Until next time.

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SCENE 10:  WELL IN THAT CASE, WE HAVE SOME OPTIONS..

{NOTE: If gang bang scenes are nixed, then the option would be to see the rooms again, actually I will leave, or inquire about Mister Cliché himself}

Well, that brings us to the end of my devilish little tour, angel. I hope you have appreciated every minute of it; I’ve most certainly enjoyed your company and the sway of your hips as we’ve walked. (Guilty laugh) Well woman, I may be several hundred years old, but I’m not dead! Just because I don’t have a fancy door with my name written on it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy the company of a desire-seeking tart from time to time.

Oh? (Pleased chuckle) That’s fair. Most are rarely ever ready to call it a night, forgive me for being glad you aren’t an exception. If you are hellbent on staying, we just need to figure out what you have in mind-- we pride ourselves on the options we have available. Now, I can always lead you through the halls again, after all that is the bread and butter of this operation.

But I *always* let the guests feel out their desires. Was there a room you wanted to see again? Or... please, tell me what’s on your mind?

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SCENE 12: I’m- I’m sorry… What About Me?

Me? Well… I’m not really an option as far as the services the house offers.
(Contemplative) Is this why you’ve been so friendly and inquisitive?

Are you… are you interested in me?

(Awkward chuckles)  No, I mean… It’s not like I think I am some sort of sexual troll or anything; it’s just… well it’s been *quite* a long time for me.

(Reflective, perhaps embarrassed) I guess I just sort of forget about my own needs sometimes while running the show as it were.

(Gasp) I don’t forget about them completely-- I am very aware of my needs. I guess I meant that I forget that I’m a man in this house of sin as well.

(Hesitant, vulnerable) I may not be one of the others here, but I have a welcoming body and love to share it with a woman who desires it. I agree we would have fun, if you so choose. If you are truly interested in any pleasure I have to offer, I do have a room of my own. It’s cozy and simple, (laying on the charm) and I promise you will be warmed from head to toe.

(Shy, but flirty) Would you like to see it?