[F4A] The Sexiest of Unsexy Accidents [Response to Challenge

So I wanted to share an experience that happened to me a while back now. It was late afternoon and I was working on my farm. The damn mulch machine had broken down clogged with some spongy grass and I was trying to clean it with my squeegee. When all of a sudden it just started up and my arm became stuck. I tried in vain to stop the cursed machine, but it cut my hand, clean off.

Now I'm not one to go to the doctor very often for every little thing so I tried to stitch it back on with some floss. It didn't work so well. I don't know why, I used the strong mint type. Anyway. Off to the doctor I went. He gave me some ointment for my stump, it was starting to get a little crusty. And damn, didn't that doc make me moist. Or perhaps it was the fever from the infection. My forehead was kind of clammy.

After fixing me up he sent me on my way with strict instructions on how to make a legume and lentil mix to help with the inflammation, I don't know doctors these days. It healed fine. But I wasn't happy. Things were missing from my life now. Like I couldn't gesticulate properly. I was always going to grab my goblet with my missing appendage. I had a hard time getting my jeggings on. Thank goodness I had some comfy birkenstocks and didn't have to deal with tying my shoes. And don't even get me started on trying to use a loofah. LOL.

So I had an idea. There was a guy I knew who made things out of eucalyptus wood. He was really talented. Anyway. I asked him if he could fashion me a new hand. Block of wood, bit of sandpaper later and there you have it. Good as new. Well except for the splinters I get occasionally. They can be a real pain in the ass.



[F4A] The Sexiest of Unsexy Accidents [Response to Challenge] [Humour]