Thread 111: Stories 16-30

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OOCO
>AJ
"Pinkie"
~~

>...Pinkie?

"Yep!"

>Ah'm glad ya' decided to help with the paperwork, buuuut...

"Did I do something wrong?"

>Well, ya' filled it out right, if that what yer' asking.

"So then, what's the problem?"

>...It's a sheet of bubble gum.

"And?"

>Ya' wrote it out on a sheet of bubble gum.

"Yeaahhhh?"

>That's... not good.

"Why?"

>Cause iffin' it gets wet, it'll rot.

"So will regular paper."

>...

"..."

>...Huh... but still, it smells.

"Like bubblegum, which is better than paper.

>...Uh... it's... sticky?

"It's not! I double triple powdered it!... Unless it gets wet, then it sticks to stuff... like-"

>Like regular paper, got it.

"Soooo..."

>...So here's the real problem.

"Shoot."

CHOMP!

"APPLEJACK!"

>AH' CAN'T HELP IT AH'M SO HUNGRY! NOMHNOMNOM!

"I knew I shouldn't have made it apple flavored! I just knew it!"

>NOM!

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>DT
"SS"
'Spike'
~~

>Don't say it.

"I'm not going to."

'Can I say it?'

>Silver Spoon, tell Spike I'm not talking to him.

"She's not talking to you."

'Silver Spoon, tell Diamond Tiara this is an extremely ineffective and stupid thing that doesn't prevent me from actually hearing her, nor her me, and that she is being immature.'

"DT, this doesn't prevent him from hearing you and you him, and he thinks you're being immature."

>Silver Spoon, tell Spike he's a loser.

'I AM NOT A LOSER!'

>And a blank flank.

'I AM NOT A... well, dragons don't get those anyway!'

>Then tell him that just means he'll be a loser for life.

'I HAVE A GUN!'

~ARMING WARHEADS!~

'...'

>Silver Spoon, tell Spike not to try to take on TBDRLIATU, he won't win.

"Spike, don't try to-"

'I HEARD!'

"That one was actually coming from me, not her. Seriously don't. You will lose. That thing is scary."

'It is not!'

"Spike, she didn't even touch it when it did that."

'...I could take it-'

BOOM!
...
SPLAT!

>... you okay?

'FUH UHHH!'

>Bet you're glad I installed the quick hardening foam bomb instead of the castle-buster now, aren't you!

"It was my idea."

>It was a good one.

"...I want to go back to bed."

'GIMMEH OUH!'

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>AJ
~~~

The empty halls gave off subtle echos with her every step. A barren area where there had once been life, and very shortly ago quite a lot of ranting. It seemed even in times like this, she was ever the mare who noticed the inconsistencies with everything.

She tried her best to subdue it for now.

>Yep. Definitely gonna be some kinda answer in here.

She was lying, and only to herself. She needed no magical trinket or special power to know that. She was merely running, merely hiding away from the rest of the world in here and convincing herself it was all to 'find a miracle'.

But she found only empty halls, barren walls, and crumbling stone no matter how far she would go. She knew this, she expected nothing less, for if there had been other things within these halls then Twilight would no doubt have scoured them clean long before now. The smart thing, she knew deep down, would be to go to the tree.

She could think of nothing she would rather do less.

She knew it had no real options anyway. What was she going to do, retrieve her Element from it? Let the world be overrun by giant thorny vines, again? There was nothing it could give her, nothing to take. It was as empty an option as these walls were, yet still it would have been smarter.

Far smarter than when she found herself in that empty throne room, where a battle had once taken place.

For a moment, looking at it, she felt empty. To have a symbol of the royalty she was supposed to be staring back at her so blatantly gave her nothing but a cold, empty feeling. She could not, no matter how much she wanted to, look away from that spot.

She found herself moving towards it, drawn like a moth to the light, stepping on her own accord until the musty old smell distinct from the others reached her nostrils.

She didn't know why she did it, but she sat down.

>... Ah' gotta question.

>And I would rather drill into my head with a nine iron than hear it!

>Would at least clear some o' the sugar out of your system, yer' dang brain has gotta be clogged full of angel cake at this rate. But seriously, why's it always gotta be us?

>Because, Applejack, much to my great sadness my subjects tend not to be able to handle these matter very well. For instance, I have yet again been forced to tell no less than six dozen of them that, no, it is not mandatory that you eat an apple everyday for every meal.

>Ah've had ta' tell them peaches ain't illegal.

>And then there's the matter of the Apple Family now being nobility.

>Peh, Granny would hate that.

>Only until she could teach them fancy folk how real ponies act.

>Point... but.. why us? Ah' mean, is there really nobody else in the whole world?

>Well, we are rather special, though it seems kind of arrogant to say out loud.

>But we make a whole buncha mistakes too.

>That we do. But still, element of Harmony tends to have some weight.

>Ah'm not even that! Ah've been lyin' for a whole year!

>Technically, you just haven't said otherwise.

>It's the same thing!

>Is it?

>They sure are reacting like it is!

>Well, you certainly didn't tell them why they should say otherwise.

>But iffin' Ah' admitted it, they'd never trust me again. Maybe they shouldn't, but...

>...but what?

>How do Ah' fix somethin' after messing up this hard? This seems hopeless.

>Really? Because things are broken, they don't look like they can get fixed, and it's all due to negligence and, oh I don't know maybe a little bit of... laziness?

>...It ain't the same.

>Well, how did you fix that?

>...Did Ah' actually fix anything, or did Ah' just lie a whole lot and keep it from getting worse?

>Did you?

>Don't gimme that dodge, Ah'm askin' you!... Tia?... CELESTIA- oh.

The empty room looked back at her, as strongly as if it had eyes to stare.

She, alone, looked back at the empty castle.

>...Why am Ah' a princess, again?

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 >SA
"Cadence"
~~

SLAM!

>HEY! HONEY! HI! WE HAVE VISITORS!

"Not now, Shiny. I need to get this."

>I'm sorry, I think I may have been a little unclear, AIRSHIP VISITORS.

"I'll just be a minute."

>Royal airship!

"Just a second."

>Of our foreign allies! Maybe! Don't know if that's still a thing considering!

"Just handle them until I get there."

>...I'm sorry what? This... this is the you thing. You do the talky thing. You are talky pony! I am paper pony!

"Just handle them until I get there."

>I don't think you're hearing me!

"Just go handle it until I get there."

>Caaadddyyyyy-

"Shiny."

>...

"Go say hi."

>...Uh-

SLAM!

>...Whelp.

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>Pommel
"Chitania'
~~

>...Soooo...

"..."

>...You have any interests?

"Killing those who annoy me."

>...Do stuff while you're not being... you?

"I research in hopes of one day reaching the plain beyond, and murdering gods."

>Ah... play any games?

"How many ways can I break someone without killing them."

>...See any shows?

"Horror shows, so I can laugh at the inaccuracy and inefficiency."

>Seriously? Any hobbies at all besides that?

"I play the violin."

>...

"..."

>...The... the what now?

"The violin."

>Made of pony bones or something?

"Are you insane? That would sound terrible. Bones are too thick and soft, and their vibrations are terrible. You might as well use organs as tuba."

>...Do you do that?

"No, regular tubas are fine."

>Ah... huh.

"..."

>...Read any non-killing books?

"Mystery novels."

>...

"I like figuring out the ending."

>...Am I drunk?

"No, just a pussy."

>So, this is the real world.

"..."

>...Go back to talking about killing.

"Don't tell me how to live."

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>Screwloose
“12”
____

>Well, would ya look at that….

“Look at what?”

>This, out the window. It’s really turning up down there, pervert.

“It’s really turning up down here, that’s where it’s turning up.”

>…I swear to Celestia, if you don’t quit rubbing your dick on my hooves-

“That’s not my dick. Okay? That’s my nose. Both are warm, yes, but one’s quite larger than the other.”

>For future possibilities, I’d sure as hell like to hope so.

“…”

>…

“…So. Window? What’s going on?”

>Seems like a bunch of mass rioting and yelling annnnnd… unless my eyes are fucking with me—and they may well be as ever since doggifying myself my vision’s taken a nosedive into shit—I do believe the earth pony traitor princess just bailed. Nothing but a glint in the sky.

“I’m not even going to look.”

>Yeah, no, I wouldn’t. Last thing we need’s a brick being hurled at your head. Then I’d have to do some very unscrupulous things.

“Aww….”

>Because if they blinded you, you wouldn’t be very good at giving hoof massages anymore, I suspect.

“Aw respectfully retracted.”

>You ever notice that an awful lot of mess follows you and your kind, perv?

“Noticed, been victim to, accepted, moved on.”

>I wonder… doesn’t that bother you? Like, in the slightest? Equestria’s being thrown into some delicious turmoil right now because of changeling endeavors, regardless of their intention at that.

“Honestly? It bothered me the very first time I took a knife to the chitin when applying for a job. After that? Nope. I just cling to what little happiness I manage to find. It does bite ass being born outright into a negative light but we barely do ourselves any favors as it is.”

>Hm.

“Yeah, hm.”


>…Think the world would be better off without changelings?

“…is what she decides to ask a pure-blooded, emotion-having changeling.”

>You oughta know by now that I give exactly zero fucks about the questions I ask or who I ask them to, pervert, come on.

“True.”

>So? Yay, nay?

“…I believe that changelings did exist… something else would. That’s usually how it goes, I’ve found. Hell, changeling history is a good example. You got one bad queen. She gets axed. Here comes a worse one. Like Sci… Sc-Scide-… yeah. Anyway, if my race suddenly died off, we’d get replaced by something ten times worse. Something that probably wouldn’t disguise itself, something that probably wouldn’t be willing to talk, to listen, to help… to give massages.”

>Well, you might be right on that one. Whenever one bad disappears, another always takes its place.

“…I’m not bad.”

>As a single entity free from the oppressive rule of your hive, most certainly not. You’re about as bad as free scalpels. But together?

Twelve could practically count her teeth when Screwloose smiled, almost ear to ear.

>You’re almost as frightening as I am. And you know how much I detest competition. …Huh.

He stared when her nose ran through a series of twitches.

“Something wrong, Screwloose?”

>Smells like garbage just waltzed into the castle….

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>Celestia
"Pennydrop"
~~~

>Anything I can get you?

It was the rare pony who would ignore her, who would keep up the pace of the long legs in a smooth, easy stride alongside her as they entered into Celestia's very own private study. It was the rare pony who would waltz in like she lived there, eyes trailing all around to the various collections and things on the shelves with an appetizing gaze. It was the rare pony who would take a seat on the chair before a word could be said, and look her, the grandest princess of them all, right in the eyes without so much as a hint of discomfort or acknowledgement to that power.

But, it seemed, this was the rare pony indeed.

>Come now, no need to be shy.

"That's okay, you don't have the kind I like."

>I assure you my stocks are of things you would not believe, I very much doubt there is a single type I do not own.

"Sorry, the stuff I had privately cultivated isn't on the market."

>I see... Well, do tell me when it is up for purchase.

"I'll send the note myself. But if you're offering a drink, any chance of Griffon-Wine? None of that Griffonstone stuff, I'm talking the one made from the rosegrapes."

>Oh, I suppose I have a bottle or two.

The two sat oddly still as the beverage was summoned, never looking away from the other as it was poured, and offered. She took it without hesitation, no worries at all to her as she sipped heartily of the drink.

>Quite the thirst when you were so worried I was under some kind of influence yourself. Didn't you worry something was slipped in there?

She smirked like she had seen very little smirk before as she set the glass down, licking her lips to catch any remains.

"Maybe I'm just testing the waters and seeing if you're planning anything. Wouldn't do any good to make demands if you were trying to do something at the start, would it?"

As expected, she was better than she had let on.

>...I suppose not. So, of these demands? I'm sure you know what they want.

A smile that would give a shark pause graced the mares lips, and the words flowed smoothly.

"Well, I'm certainly not going to pretend I'm the voice of the ponies or anything, I'm just a simple mare who wants whats best for the city she has done so much business in, and who has a great many friends here! Honestly, I don't know why you picked me, but everyone else seemed like they weren't willing to step forwards, and I clearly couldn't let the will of the ponies go unanswered, no?"

Eyes, once beautiful and full of love, narrowed ever so slightly, looked ever so slightly dangerous, as she looked to the mare who practically sang her every word.

>Oh no, and it was very... brave to step forwards.

"Had to be done. But if I was to give some direct requests, and most of these are coming from the others so feel free to pick them apart as you wish, it would be these. An outside investigation into all matters that might have been compromised by the changeling infiltration over in the Empire. An examination of anything military or otherwise that may have been compromised by association with said race. An examination into any funds, and how much, were given to said species and if those funds need to be refunded or otherwise reobtained from the changelings. And finally, a banning of all changelings and direct associates from Canterlot Castle until this investigation is finished to the satisfaction of the ponies."

Everything she had expected, quite a lot more. There was much she needed to bring down, starting with the worst would be a good start.

>You don't feel the banning is a bit much?

"Nope. Best to be cautious when they can disguise themselves as us or control minds."

>Even still, lumping them all in the same cloth is a rather biased request.

"Good."

Silence hung above them like a swinging pendulum following that, ever tick of the clock a swing that brought it lower. Bargaining was off the table. A new approach would be needed, something more direct.

>And, this investigation... would it be headed by you, by any chance?

She expected the affirmative, she most certainly did not expect a flippant wave of a hoof like she were some street beggar asking for a bit.

"Me? Oh no no no, I wouldn't want to get directly involved myself. Sure, I pay taxes, but my main headquarters is stationed elsewhere. No, it will have to be someone else who looks to the goings on of Canerlot Castle, I'm merely here to give the word. A messenger, nothing more."

Before, she had been curious.

Now she was worried.

>But you have so many investigative organizations, do you not?

"None in Canterlot."

>Wouldn't that make you the perfect unbiased party?

She needed her to take the bait, to bite the hook.

"Only if you call "Ignoring the ponies below" unbiased. They certainly have the right to choose someone from their own ranks who will do the looking. Why, it would be preferable, really. They would bring with them their own national pride to get the job done right!"

But the little fish just swam away.

>And biases that will make them see a bug in every dot on an i.

The makings of a smile moved beneath the smaller mares lips, only barely held back from the surface.

"Think so little of them, do you? That's a little elitist."

>It is not that I think so little of them, but what I think of you.

"...ohhh?"

Her voice was coy, smooth like silk as she held the princess's gaze.

>Shall we cut to the chase, Pennydrop?

The smile.

The smile she had seen before, known of for all of her political life, that had graced a dozen lips before her, was there. It was hidden, but it was there.

"I did already, try to pay attention."

>... do you really think you're the first?

Everything about that, the words, the shift in tone, the way her look changed, absolutely everything was finally enough that the smile need held back no longer and died hidden.

>Really now, do you think you're the first one to try something like this? Or the tenth? Or even the twentieth? I've dealt with more events like these than I have earth-threatening beings, and that's saying a lot. I've seen them come and go, Empires built up and poised to win the political game over and over.

"And?"

>And you are talking to me, now, in my castle, on my land, in my country.

That really did say it all.

That was enough to turn what once threatened a smile into a scowl.

"You know, just for the record, I never bought the perfect pretty princess routine. I always knew you loved this power you have. Why so many others are taken in by a pretty flowing mane and a 'nice' smile has always left me shaking my head. Like you're something special, when you get down to the bone. Like you don't love every second of it."

A single, sharp eyebrow rose, and a look of pure contempt covered every inch of the earth pony.

>Love it?... You're unfortunately every wrong on that one. Sometimes I wish I had what I've seen in those that came before me, what no doubt hides in you. A need for power, for control, a need to always have more and more and more. It would make my job so much easier, you know. But no, every time I defeated them for a simple reason. I love them. I love every one of my subjects, and I love them dearly, and I will not see them used for a powergrab.

"Unless it's for you, of course."

The smaller mare leaned back, still glaring, not in the least bit afraid by the much taller, opposing figure sitting across from her.

>I, unlike you, do not want them manipulated, do not want a single other who does not belong to be involved in my matters. I only want to protect them. I only want them to be happy.

A short, almost pained laugh was the response and it did nothing but sour the alabaster face even further.

"You know? So do I, to be honest. Ponies do a lot better when they're happy. Have you seen my pay rates? I'm the best, and I get the best. That whole 'dark master atop a twisted castle' just looks pretty bad, doesn't it? Just looks cheap and tacky, and why would you want to look down at a whole bunch of sad sacks every day? No, I think I'd much rather look down at smiling, happy faces every day, wouldn't you? Though I guess it's pointless asking, that is what you do, isn't it? Seems nice."

Nothing, not a single word she had spoken this whole time, had unsettled her as much as those words.

>...It's not too late, you know. You can stop this..

Another laugh, louder, harder, more booming and powerful, and this one pure.

"Stop this? Are you crazy? Oh, you have no idea. You have no idea, Princess Celestia."

The sour look twisted, looking almost remorseful.

>I'm being honest. You can still turn away, live a successful life, work hard and make Equestria better. You do not want what you think you want, and it will bring you only ruin. I don't know what caused this, why you think these things you do, but they do not have to define you. Turn back, before it twists you into something dark and terrible. I've seen it... I've lived it. Turn back, before it's too late.

Silence, horrible, horrible silence followed that. In it, in the wait, she dared to hope.

In the laughter that followed, she dared no longer.

"Heh... does that speech ever work?"

>...no.

It was a bitter thing that rolled off her tongue, as honest as it was disgusting.

"So melodramatic..."

She slugged down the last of her drink, hopping to her hooves without a single shake in her body, without a single hesitation in her step.

"Demands are set, and I'll be sure to inform everyone you've agreed to all of them. If you say otherwise to them, well, it would sure look weird if you agreed to a safety measure against a changeling and then suddenly backed down or changed your mind, wouldn't it?"

Eyes that had been regretful ignited, narrowing into thin, dangerous slips as she glared at the other pony.

"Got something you want to say? Go on, shoot me. Shoot me with all of your big Alicorn power. Then you can just say this was all a big attempt at assassination or something, or even just stride out there and put on a lightshow, it would shut up the masses right quick. Nobody has a power than can match you, let alone all your little 'buddies'. You could end this right now, if you wanted."

Never, not once, did she actually consider doing just that.

Though she would be a liar if she did not admit the temptation was there.

"No? Good call. Get ready to meet those demands, or else I don't think that mob is going to be all civilized next time. They are mostly unicorns after all, and so many of them have powers, unsettling powers... no?"

>...You know, there's something off about you.

"No kidding? Maybe you're not as quick as they said."

The barb rolled right off her, not phasing her pensive gaze in the least.

>Oh, it's nothing you would notice, not at all. But with all the others, they kept up the facade right until the end, right until they were sure they had won, and everything was theirs. You've moved too quickly, you've shown yourself now. You did not even attempt to keep it up... why?

That, Celestia knew is when things had changed. That moment, when Pennydrop turned her head around, when she looked her right in the eye, and when she smiled, is when she knew this time around was going to be different.

"Because I'm not like them."

It was the rare pony who would turn her back on the princess with a smirk. It was the rare pony who would dare to slam her ornate, beautiful door. It was the rare pony who would stride out, her head held high, when she knew the princess would be watching her every step from now on.

But, it seemed she was that rare pony indeed.

>...so, it begins again.

This time, though...

She knew things would be different.

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OOCO
>AJ
“Shiny”
____

Thwump.

Thwump.

Scraaaaaaaape!

The table wasn’t so long, just the right length for two annoyingly towering stacks of paperwork to touch as a princess and a prince pulled up their respective chairs on either end and sank into them.

She peeked around the left.

He peeked around the right.

>Well. Here we are again….

“You know, I could’ve sworn we said the stacks would be lighter last time. Didn’t we say the stacks would be lighter? These stacks don’t look lighter. In fact, I daresay they’ve gotten heavier.”

>My back would agree wit' ya, Shinin’.

“The mess afterwards, though….”

>Tell me about it. But! We’ll worry ‘bout that when the time comes. Fer now, let’s jus’ get started. Ain’t gonna take care’a itself.

“Right. On three, then. One…

>Two…

>“Three!”

In one concise swipe, those same two teetering towers of documents went crashing to the ground, freeing up just the perfect amount of space for Applejack and Shining to put their legs up and lean back comfortably.

“Maaaan, I swear… these little ‘joint meetings’ that we have? Highlight of my freaking week at times. All the crazy goes away, all the whining and prodding and sexual innuendo… all of it just becomes background noise and I can just….”

Throwing back his head with a long-winded, relaxed sigh was obviously more important than finishing his statement yet Applejack understood him perfectly. Stretching her hooves up high, she could honestly say she felt the same.

>Plus, the added benefit’a jus’ slappin’ all that shit on the ground… it jus’ feels like a win.

“A win for all of ponykind. Screw it, all kind. A win for all kind in Equestria.”

>Yeah, fuck paperwork.

“Right smack in the ear.”

>…So yer’ balls still blue?

“Bluer than the purest water imported from the Frozen North. Think I might have a new shade of blue going on down there.”

>Hawh….

“Those hairclips fuse with your mane yet?”

>Nooope, not yet. On their way, though.

“Hard to believe you’ve got about four grand in bits on top of your head. That was some high-grad crystal he got there.”

>Hard tuh’ believe Ara’s ‘bout as old as Chrysalis an’ has the mental apples’a Two.

“Hard to believe a lot of things….”

>Mmmhm.

“…Hey, paper horse?”

>Yeah, shield horse?

“…nevermind. I’ll ask next time. Right now, I just want to fade for the next two hours.”

>Don’t forget tuh’ set yer’ horn this time, dummy.

“Yeah, yeah, sheesh… mess up the alarm one time and you never hear the end of it….”

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OOCO
>42
"18"
~~~

>...

"Why are you rocking back and forth?"

>...I... I lost...

"Lost a what?"

>A fight.

"You... you lost a fight? You!?"

>I LOST!

"To who!?"

>Q-q-q-q...q-q-q-q...quuuiiiiii...

"...No..."

>QUICKSILVERRRRHEREHERRRRR!

"Wha-who... fucking HOW!?"

>It was so faaasssst!

"What!?"

>There were just so many punches, and they were so fast, and they were hitting harder and harder and then... and then....

"And then what!? How!? How did you even feel them!?"

>And.... and then...

"Then what!?"

>POP!

"...pop?"

>POP! THE HEAD GOES UPPPP!

"...Forty Two."

>W-whattt?

"Are you talking about the rock'em sock'em punchy toy thing?"

>What difference does it make!? I LOST AT PUNCHES! I LOOOSSSTTT!

"And what did you lose?"

>NOTHING BUT MY PRRIIIIDDEEEE!

"...Forty Two?"

>W-what?

"Get out of my office."

>...can I get a hug before I go-

"OUT!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >32
"88"
'JJ'
-Acty-
~???~

>You know, this here? This is a learning experience my view.

'Agreed.'

>Anything has its place in this world, anyone has a place. From those with the utmost intellects-

"Like you?"

>-naturally, to those with the utmost best intentions for everyone like dear Actarius here. To even those of an ultimately bizarre disposition.

'...me? I'm the bizarre one here?'

>What? No, honestly despite your japes I find you to be at least somewhat pleasant company.

'Thanks?'

>I did mean that as a compliment. No, the bizarre would be-

Slam!

~Oi, 32, ya dead? Speak up if you are!~

>...Ms. Daw, we're in the sitting room.

~Right, well that whole kerfuffle started makin'its way to th' castle, so I figured me bein' round there wouldn't be helpin matters- ex-pirate an' all that- so I figured for Pom's peace of mind I'd check up on yer...sorry...carcass...

>'-...-'

~What...in th' holy hell...is THAT THING PLAYIN' YER DAMN PIANO!?~

>Oh, hi, he's Lavan. He's kind of a ball of arms right now, so we put him over by the piano and wouldn't y'know it, he plays 'Buffalo Girls' like a champ.

The offending abomination paused its playing to give the group a thumbs up. Several in fact.

>He can shapeshift apparently. No doubt this pleases him.

~...~

'So was he the-?'

>Yes he was the bizarre one. Tea, Ms. Daw?

~...y'know what? Sure. Sign me up, Mr. Hatter.~

>Excellent, pour her a cup, sister!

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Applejack"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I bring in the good times! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!

"Hidally diddly"

>...Before we even begin, where is your Cousin Peach now?

"It's been a while. Last Ah heard, she had something to do with plumbers and mushrooms or something. Was kind bad staying in one place. Speaking of which, did Ah ever tell you the time me and mah cousin Peach were visiting Manehatten by sneaking onto a train? See, there was this homeless lady in the boxcar we were in who was probably a pedophile by the way she kept touching cousin Peach's flank and the way she kept try to make us touch her flank. We didn't think it was a good idea to stay, so we jumped off while the train was still moving, which in retrospect was a bad idea because cousin Peach smacked into a pole. Broke her forelegs in multiple places and cracked her skull. Oh nelly, that's why we look both ways."

>aaaand that's all the time we have folks but thanks for joining us and have a good night!

"Oh, but the next part is where we-"
AJ wakes up.
"...meet the animatronic alligator. Aw Ah thought she'd like that."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>AJ
"???"
~~

>Gaddang it, Ah' knew Ah' shouldn't have gone ta' the bathroom! Look at this, mah' paperwork doubled in size, again! It's like when Ah' look away from it for two seconds, it just magically shifts! What did Ah' even get this time!?... Allocation for Crystal Armor reinforcement? Wha-

"OH DEAR LOVE NO!"

>Eighteen? What're you doing here?

"I think some of our paperwork got mixed up!"

>Oh... well, not too much of a problem, we can get it out-

"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

>Understand wha-... why is the room rumbling?

~GRAAARRGGGRGRGRGR!~

>...Is Mah' paperwork alive.

"IT'S INFECTED THE STACK! OH NO!"

>This... this don't make no....

"Applejack! We have to join forces, and defeated it together, or it will destroy us all!

>...What.

"TO WARRRRR!"

~GRAAGGGAGAGAGAGG!~

>...So is this just a... thing with you?

"Oh, all the time, why?"

>...

"Erm... gonna help me?"

>...Ah' feel like yer' ignorin' some real implications here-

~GRAHAHAHAH!~

"Oh no! No time to think! ATTACKKKK!~

>Ah' just had ta' use the bathroom...

~GRRAAAGGGHHHHHH!~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>SA
"Chrysalis"
'AJ'
~~

>...

"..."

'...'

>...w-well?

'...Shining.'

"LIES! BIAS! UNFAIR!"

'Ah' like his better.'

>Okay, Applejack? You officially have a problem.

'Ah'm sticking to mah' guns. Shining, your apple pie was better.'

>You really are being biased here.

'Nope. Just superior, that's all.'

>I used the old fruit from the bottom of the box.

'Gave it a smooth, creamy taste.'

>I bakes it until I saw smoke.

'Smoked the flavor right in, it did.'

>I used pepper instead of sugar.

'Heck of a kick to it!'

>Applejack... I used oranges.

'...'

>...

'... couldn't even tell the difference?'

>...

'That ain't a lie, ya' could'a put anything in there and Ah' probably wouldn't have been able to tell.'

>...

'It ain't bias, Ah' still liked it better.'

"HOW!?"

'Cause reasons.'

>...Applejack-

'NOT BIASED!'

*MAGIC SMOKE BOMB!*

>HOLY SHIT NO! THOSE CAUSE CANCER!... Applejack?

"Huh. Applejack is a ninja, apparently.

Off in the distance, they heard a call.

'NOT BIASSSssssseeedd...'

"...A crappy one."

>I'm sorry, I know you worked hard on that.

"Nah, I just dumped a can in there."

>...

"Did it matter in the end?"

>...There is no part of this that doesn't need therapy.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"MM"
'Zecora'
[Trixie]
~~~~

He spoke in hushed whispers as he clung to the side of the building, as shadowy as his species was revered to be, and quite a lot more. Behind him, the stalwart companions who, quite frankly, were the only reason he wasn't in a garbage can somewhere, either living there or being dumped there after a prissy antic too far.

They shuffled, as dark as the night, as they made their way through the barren town.

Though he was remiss, most days. In this moment, Twenty Nine was, indeed, a changeling who would make his fellows proud.

>Alright, on three, we shuffle... get ready...

[...dun nuh nuhhh-]

>Trixie!

[...Nuh nuh nuhhhh-]

"Trixie!"

[...Nuh nuh nuhhhh-]

'Trixie would you hush! We are in a rush!'

[...bum bum bununuh...]

"...Nuh nuh."

>Blast it.

'Da da daaa~'

>Please no.

[Da na naaaa~]

>Stop.

"Nuh nuh~ dun dun..."

>...do do doooo~ Do do dooo~ Do do~

The greatest changelings in the hivemind wept in pride.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
~~~

She didn't know what she was waiting for on that throne.

An answer to be delivered to her from on high seemed like the correct assumption, but she was never one for handouts.

A divine inspiration that would solve all her problems seemed like another likely suspect, but she was more a fan of slow thinking and methodical examination.

Just to be away from them all was, unfortunately, the most likely answer.

>...Ah'm sorry.

There was no one to hear her apology, no one at all.

Except the ones she had in her own mind, who would never leave her thoughts, nor her heart, just as they had said.

>Ah' know ya' taught me ta' be honest. It was the one thing you needed me to know, to understand. That there wasn't anything to be found in lies. Lies were fer' folks who couldn't stand up to the truth, that's what you said. Ponies who lean on lies are always gonna fall when someone hits them with the truth, that's what you said. A barn built on lies is a barn that's gonna fall in the rain. Lies are easy, lies come quick, lies can make a short fella tall or a slow fella quick, but it doesn't change what the world really is. Just how you get folks to look at it. Lies come when the truth is something you're just not strong enough to face. Ya' taught me ta' be stronger than that.

Her hooves mashed together in front of her, her vision fogging the longer she looked down on them.

>...Would you be proud of me?

Those same eyes became so blurry, she could not see the drops as they landed on her hooves.


>Ah'm a princess now, ain't that something? Ah' really did try Mah' best, that was what was important, wasn't it? Gave it mah' all, you taught me that too. Didn't Ah' give up so much time, work so hard, scrape myself to the bone just to make things better? So much work, just... so much. So much it never looked like it was gonna end, so much Ah' couldn't handle it alone. It took a lot outta me, lost a whole lotta time with my family, but Ah' kept on going. Ain't that something to be proud of? It wasn't like Ah' was doing it to be one of them, those kinda ponies who need it just ta' get more for themselves. It was just easier to...

Her teeth snapped down, so harshly she nearly chipped a tooth. One little word, and the weight on her back pushed down harder than it ever had before. One little word.

Easier.

>...Ah'm sorry. Guess... not everythin' you taught me stuck.

She apologized to nothing but an empty room, nothing but a hollow castle.

Yet in the emptiness, she could feel eyes bearing down on her, every second. Eyes watching her, no longer with the pride she had always seen.

Maybe they had never held it at all, and she had just been lying to herself about that too. Maybe they had always known what she was doing was wrong, what she had been allowing to happen was wrong, that when push came to shove... she took the easier route. Eighteen made things happen, made them work, and that was all she cared about. She had let the weight of her responsibilities crash down on her, and took any liferaft she could grasp, letting the boat sink until it became unsalvageable.

When they learned the truth, nobody would ever trust her again. Not her hometown, not Canterlot, not even her sister. Everything she had ever tried to impart on her.. would be a lie.

Because even strong ponies take the easy way out sometimes.

>...Ah'm sorry... guess there wouldn't be much to be proud of here.


Anonymous Tue 08 Dec 2015 14:51:39 No.25704385 Report
Quoted By: >>25704504 >>25704639
>>25704373

Just like she knew it would be, the truth was hard. The truth took work.

Honesty wasn't always pretty, and sometimes it hurt.

>Ah'm sorry I let you down.

To an empty room, she spoke.

Nothing but silence answered her back... and she didn't know if she deserved anything else.

>...Ah've gotta see it.

Her limbs moved like a puppets, lifeless and robotic as they lifted her off that throne so uncomfortable on her back. They moved of their own accord, pulled by strings she could not see as they dragged her wobbling body forwards, back into the castle depths, towards... something.

The one last hope she had. The hope that the answer was right there, waiting for her to take it. It was her one last hope to fix this mess.

>It's gotta work.

The one last lie that she would let herself believe.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________