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- "No."
- >"Oh, c'mon! Please?"
- "Absolutely not.
- >"Why not? All she needs is a push for her to get on track again."
- "Because she terrifies me, Celestia."
- >You uncross your arms and look behind you; just in case you-know-who was there.
- "There were... THINGS... that you could do to a male a thousand years ago, okay? And she wants to do ALL of them."
- >The white alicorn scrunches her face up in concentration, seemingly trying to remember exactly what THINGS you were talking about.
- >"I... can't really recall what 'things' you mean."
- >Bullshit.
- >She's in on this, isn't she?!
- "You were alive when that shit was going down, Celestia!"
- >Celestia's eyebrows shoot up challengingly.
- >"I don't have a perfect memory, Anonymous. I was born a mortal and ascended to an alicorn, you know; my mind isn't built to hold unlimited experiences."
- >Huh.
- "For real?"
- >Celestia nods.
- >You're going to have to remember that for later.
- "I'm talking about claiming a husband, Celestia. Legally and PHYSICALLY. She wants a husb-"
- >"Oh, Old Ones!"
- >Celestia's white face turns a bit green her eyes widen in both horror and remembrance.
- >"Don't tell me she tried to mark you, did she?"
- >You take an unconscious step closer to the friendly pony as you remember the sight of Luna heating up her branding iron.
- "She did, but I got away before she noticed me."
- >"Oh, you poor thing..."
- >Celestia pulls you into a hug and you cling to her for comfort.
- >"You don't have to worry about that, any more, okay? When did she do this?"
- >She separates and conjures a stuffed pony doll out of thin air and presented it to you.
- >"Where did the bad mare touch you?"
- >You sniffle.
- "Everywhere."
- >As you go back in for a hug, the doors behind you burst open and the sound of sprinting hooves fill the air.
- >Acting purely on instinct, you remove yourself from Celestia's embrace, wrap an arm around her neck, and use that as leverage to jump onto her back.
- "Home free! Home free! I'm on her back and that means you can't touch me!"
- >The new pony in the room (who obviously turns out to be Luna) knickers in disappointment and lowers her red-hot branding iron.
- >You almost feel sorry for her as she dejectedly walks out of the room, head down and ears floppy.
- >Those feelings last about as long as it takes for her to turn back and address you.
- >>"Thy cannot run from us forever, Fair Anonymous. There shalt be a day where thine guard is down and mine sister is naught to be seen. On that day thou shalt be mine husband and thy hoof-spiders shall be put to use on the Royal Tummy-Tum-Tums."
- >Her departing words given, Luna disappears.
- >You are left clinging to Celestia with your face buried in her mane.
- >Celestia turns and walks away with a word.
- >You spend the rest of the day making Day Court difficult for Celestia to accomplish with your presence on her back.
- >Today was a "you accidentally terror-peed on Celestia's back" kind of day.
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