Barbecue (One Shot)

>You are Anonymous and you are a Mongol.
>And do you know what your favorite food is?
>BARBEQUE!
>But not just any barbecue. It was barbeque made from horse meat.
>And one day, you woke up and found yourself in heaven.
>Tiny horses EVERYWHERE!
>You tried to grab a tiny orange horse that wore a funny hat but it kicked really hard.
>Tiny horse started chirping and whistling and clicking at you and it confused you greatly.
>So you pull out your sword and you stab tiny horse until it stops moving.
>Tiny horse doesn't tell YOU what to do.
>You grab the dead horse and go find a place to make camp in a nearby woods.
>The place is scary looking but it doesn't bother you.
>You are Mongol.
>Most fierce warrior ever.
>You cook horse and take a bite.
>Tastes like apples.
>This confuses you but you do not complain.
>You eat good for a few days.
>You eventually run out of tiny orange horse to eat so you go to find another one.
>As you walk around you see a tiny yellow horse with a pink mane flying around.
>OH BOY, YOU'VE NEVER HAD FLYING HORSE BEFORE!
>You pull out your bow and shoot tiny flying horse.
>Tiny horse drops to the ground and starts screaming.
>You run up and beat the horse with a rock until it's dead.
>Damn thing was noisy for being so tiny.
>You bring tiny horse back to your home in the scary forest nearby.
>You cook tiny horse and have a taste.
>Tastes like nature.
>You spit it out.
>You do not eat good that night.

>You go searching for more tiny horses to eat the next morning.
>You find a what looks like a town.
>And it was full of tiny horses.
>You really were in heaven.
>You run down to the town but are stopped by tiny horses in golden armor.
>Hah.
>Tiny baby horses think they can fight.
>Is funny to you.
>You grab your sword and shield and go have some fun killing the tiny horses.
>You take them all back to your camp in the scary woods.
>You cook one of them up and have a taste.
>Tastes like normal horse.
>You eat good that night and for several days later.
>You couldn't eat all of the horses before they started to rot.
>So you threw the tiny horses away and buried them and searched for more tiny horses.
>You head towards the town you saw earlier.
>No tiny horses anywhere.
>Hahaha, they think they can fool you.
>You are mongol, smartest warrior ever!
>You break down the door of one of the houses and search for tiny horses.
>Nothing.
>You break down the door of another house and search for tiny horses.
>Nothing again.
>You continue doing this for a very long time and find no tiny horses.
>Maybe the tiny horses were smarter than they looked.
>You turn around to go back to camp but see a bigger tiny horse standing in front of you.
>Bigger tiny horse wore jewelry, had wings and a horn, and had funny colored mane that looked the lights in the sky during the cold seasons.
>You grab your sword and shield and lick your lips.
>You wonder what this one will taste like.
>You go to swing your sword but are hit by a bright flash of light and thrown backwards.
>You try to get up but feel a great heat surround you from all sides.
>As you scream from the heat searing you all over, you suddenly realize what's going on.
>Bigger tiny horse is going to have YOU for barbecue.
>You suddenly wonder if Irony was a word in Mongolian.