Space Interrogation

Smuggler's tone should start out as unconcerned and cocky.  He's been here done this before.  Been caught, talked his way out of it and released.  He's probably also a bit of a Lothario, so the fact that he's being interrogated by a woman he sees as an easy way out of his current mess.


Interrogator:  Well well well.  What have we here.  You know, I read reports that your ship was in this quadrant, but I didn't really think I'd be seeing you around here.  I really had hoped someone as notorious as you would be smart enough to finally keep a low-profile.

Smuggler:  Well, when I found out they had such a sexy investigator in this sector, I didn't try as hard not to get caught.  Can you blame me?

Interrogator:  You really think you're cute, don't you?

Smuggler:  I *know* I'm cute.  Or, you know, I've heard it enough times that I've started to believe it.  Don't tell me it's not true, honey, it'll break my heart.

<long pause, cold stare, flipping through case reports>

Interrogator:  It says here that you're suspected of having a shipment of Petrillium Ore on board your vessel.  Do you want to tell us where it is?  We didn't find anything but crates of junk parts in your storage bays on the first sweep through when we boarded you.

Smuggler: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Baby.  I'm just a simple interstellar can-collector, picking up recycling as I go.

Interrogator:  Try again.

Smuggler:  I don't know what to tell you, kitten.

Interrogator:  One more chance.

Smuggler:  Trade you for a kiss, pretty girl.

<sounds of something hard hitting the table, maybe restraints clinking>

<Smuggler cries out in pain>

Interrogator:  I gave you three chances, *Baby*.  I'm not your honey, your baby, or your pretty girl.  Where.  The fuck.  Is the ore?

Smuggler <still recovering from being hit>: I don't know what you're talking about!  Fuck!  I already said that.  And then you go and... shit.  That really hurt, you know?  You're a tough lady.  Ow....

Interrogator:  Ok.  You don't know.  Well, someone says you've got some.  And that someone really wants it back.  And they're willing to pay a lot.  Like... a LOT a lot.  And really, you know, your ship isn't worth THAT much more than the crates of garbage you're hauling.  So really, it wouldn't be a big loss if we just dismantled it.  Just to make sure, understand, that you didn't conveniently forget that you were carrying about a dozen crates of....

Smuggler: HEY hey hey... you don't have to go tearing apart my ship, I already told you...

Interrogator:  Yeah, but you also told me you've been told you're cute so I've already got reason to doubt you, sweetness.

Smuggler: Well if you're just going to be MEAN I don't think we've got much to talk about...