The Good Scotsman

Ian Archibald Knox work up and ran his fingers through his regrettably red hair he grumbled at the reminder of the disgusting Gaelic admixture than even a more racially clean lowland Scot like himself was forced to bear. Shurrging of his daily shame Ian prepared to get to work by changing from his Union-Jack themed pajamas to the sophisticated attire for a Conservative member of the Scottish "Parliament" representing  Eastwood in East Renfrewshire county. His daily attire consisted from the bottom up of black leather dress shoes, red socks, black dress TROUSERS (he would never wear the savage loincloth of the highlands known as the kilt even if his own mother was to be raped if he didn't) a white shirt with a RED tie (to represent his gratitude towards England for the Union and as not to look like a dodgy bolshevik nationalist with a blue and white color combination) and finally a black suit jacket. After getting dressed he put on his thick rimmed glasses and prepared himself mentally to set foot in that hive of scum and villainy known as Holyrood he was only a "MSP" so that he could work to destroy the treasonous institution from the inside of course and hopefully be rewarded with a position in Boris Johnson's cabinet and a knighthood from her majesty the Queen.
Ian walked down the stairs and prepared himself a simple breakfast of beans on toast with a cup of tea. After completing his breakfast he grabbed his Union Jack umbrella and walked out the door onto the rainy streets of Edinburgh enduring the Anglophobic abuse of the savage street children who called him a "Tory cunt" as he walked down the street thinking of how this is almost like a more intense form of oppression than a Jew in Nazi Germany might have faced all the while the loony left called HIM the racist for suggesting that racial quotas in the style of the White Australia Policy be introduced to British immigration law. Ian reminisced on how the release of the film Braveheart inspired so much fascist Anglophobic sentiment in his home province, the loony left may attack Mel Gibson's free speech on the subject of Blacks and Jews but very deliberately fail to see how his Anglophobia is far more consequential as it directly led to the rise of the fascist SNP under that present day führer Nicola Sturgeon. The only liberal who seemed to understand Ian's wise insights was fellow Scotland-residing Briton Joanne Rowling who also shares Ian's views on the dangerous transsexual community which seeks to rape all of Britain's true women.
Ian was interrupted from his lustful thoughts about the fantasy author when he got to the front doors of the Scottish "Parliament" building. He saw the sight of his fellow MPs displaying their typical drunken Celtic hysteria by chattering in loud tones amongst themselves as they walked in. Ian however noticed something off, they kept speaking of Dounreay a nuclear testing facility in the savage Highlands. Worse yet they all seemed to be slandering the good name of the Lord Rockford and his new Caretakers initiative! Ian was shocked by the tones the Nazi SNP and Communist Labour "MSPs" where using to describe this great man and his great new program! Ian was only going to raise his proposals of removing Gaelic language signs forcing the Church of Scotland to rename itself to the North British Presbyterian Church banning the Roman Catholic Church altogether to fight Jacobitism and re-criminalizing the Kilt today but it appeared that a more heated argument was in store for him.
When Parliament began it's session the most boorish of all the MSPs walked up to speak, Angus MacFarlane a Scottish National Party "MSP" representing the Highlands sear of Argyll and Bute. He began his speech in his thick incomprehensible Highlander accent showing a scandalous lack of any attempt to change his style of speaking to match the standard English accent heard on the BBC: "What happened in Dounreay was an affront to Scottish values and yet another example of a long history of England exploiting our beautiful land to carry out acts of imperialism and violence in the world, and towards a British citizen like the late Bhivan Singh no less! While at this time we may not yet have proof to back my strong suspicion that the Lord Rockford is response for this heinous murder I think this is a perfect time to use the power invested in our sovereign  parliament that if Westminster wants to boost their destructive Trident program they have to look elsewhere! In Scotland we value freedom and justice and will no longer let this stand! Alba gu bràth!" before the snow gorilla in a suit and skirt could prepare to repeat his anti-British drivel in the so called "language" of Gaelic Ian began his bold rebuttal.
"Spare us the Gaelic Angus, your blonde hair and blue eyes suggest you have at least some Nordic blood in you I suggest acting like it instead if embarrassing those of us who can't visually hide our Celtic-Iberian defects, furthermore I think your speech today besides being perfect grounds for MI5 to cart you off for treason against Queen and Country reveal a deep ignorance of what it means to be Scottish. We are NOT and never have been this so called "free" people you speak of we have always instead been England's loyal dogs aiding her great civilizing missions by sending our savage population, like your Highlander self, into the British Army to help put down the other savages of the world that stand in her way. We civilized from Northern Ireland to Canada to New Zealand and for that we should be proud! Also if you want to claim so much local pride for Northern British history our great economist Adam Smith would surely look at your call for a Scottish Socialist Republic with disgust! Furthermore your description of Bhivan Singh as a British Citizen is laughable given that he's not only an Asiatic terrorist but one who still maintains citizenship to the tin pot dictatorship of India!" Before Ian could continue his rant the hysterical Nazi woman Nicola Sturgeon called the Parliament to order and asked if Angus wished to counter the rebuttal.
Angus said "Listen here you wee Tory cunt, I've had enough of your responses to me ever since you got elected, I'm fuckin' done being civil. I'm tired of listening to you go on insulting our country with your tiring proposals to ban our culture nd heritage and your fuckin' obsession of bringing up Adam Smith like somehow it makes you a better patriot than me that you want Scottish children to go hungry at school, what happened to Bhivan Singh is a tragedy and we will get to the bottom of this without your southern Tory whining even if I have to bring my Claymore into Parliament and threaten you myself!" Ian gulped as this brute threatened him with physical violence, he knew he could not trust the den of savages around him to protect him so he ran right out of the Parliament doors, there was nothing more he was equipped to do today.
As Ian collected himself after returning home stopping his Celtic hysteria and returning to the stiff British upper lip he had so disgracefully abandoned today in his cowardly run. It occurred to Ian in this moment of clarity that their was nothing he could do as a "MSP" or perhaps even as an MP anymore, he ran to his computer and searched for Lord Rockford's contact information. Upon finding his email address he began to write to the nobleman, looking for a new job in the caretakers signing off as a "concerned British patriot" and he hit send hoping he can begin his career a new soon.