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- >you get home from work
- >after hanging up your jacket, you head upstairs to check on Fluffyshy and Fluffy Dash
- >you can only hope that they haven’t hurt themselves
- >or even worse, died
- >you decide to head up the stairs a bit faster
- >”Fluffyshy? Dash? Are you okay?”
- >you open the door to the saferoom
- >and see them happily playing with their blocks
- >Fluffy Dash turns to you
- >”Daddeh! Yuu home!”
- >she runs up and hugs your legs
- >you pick her up
- >”Wee! Dasii fwy!”
- >you play “Fwy” for a bit and turn to Fluffyshy
- >”Hi, Fluffyshy. How are you?”
- >she nervously takes a few steps back and points to the blocks
- >they’ve managed to stack about two blocks on top of each other
- >the other eight are strewn about the floor
- >you decide to lay on the enthusiasm a bit thick
- >”Wow, did you two make that stack yourselves? It’s really high!”
- >”We did, daddeh, we did! It hawd!”
- >”Yeah, I bet. Did you help, Fluffyshy?”
- >she peeps and turns away
- >alright, you expected her to be afraid of just about everything
- >but why is she so scared of you?
- >”Fluffyshy, what’s wrong?”
- >”Um…”
- >she points to the ball in the corner and shakes a little
- >you pick it up and hold it out to her
- >”The ball? What about it?”
- >”F-f-Fwuffysii…”
- >”What?”
- >she breaks down into sobs
- >”Fwuffysii an’ Dasii hewt baww fwend! We meanie fwuffies! Baww fwend sad! Dasii say baww fwend happy when Fwuffysii kick, but he now happy! He sad!”
- >she lets loose another bout of loud sobs
- >”T-that’s it?”
- >you’re trying to stifle your laughter
- >it’s not exactly funny that she’s bawling her eyes out, just that she’s doing so over something so petty
- >Dash just rolls her eyes
- >”Fluffyshy, the ball doesn’t get sad. He’s only happy.”
- >”N-nuu! No twue! Fwuffysii buwwy fwuffy! Sowwy, daddeh! Sowwy, baww!”
- >”Fluffyshy, you’re not a bully. He likes it when you kick him! Isn’t that right, Mr. Ball?”
- >welp, time for those ventriloquism classes you took as a kid to come in handy
- >you put on your best falsetto and stick the ball in front of your face
- >”Yeah, Anon! That’s right! I sure wish some little fluffy pony would come along and kick me right now!”
- >Dash looks up in wonder
- >”Baww speak?!”
- >”That’s right, Dash! Would you please-“
- >your voice breaks and you cough
- >”..please kick me?”
- >”Otay, Mistah Baww!”
- she runs up and gives the ball a kick
- >it rolls about three feet and bounces a few inches
- >not impressive, but she’s loving it
- >your throat, on the other hand, isn’t too pleased with your Mickey Mouse impression
- >”Weee! Dash, I’m *cough* having so *cough* much fun!”
- >Fluffyshy keeps peeking up at the ball
- >time to go in for the kill
- >”Heya, Fluffyshy! Come play with me!”
- >”B-baww fwend wan pway wif fwuffysii?”
- >”I *cough* sure do, Fluffysh-“
- >you go into a coughing fit rivaling Walter White
- >”Baww fwend? Yuu otay?”
- >you cough some more
- >you’re fine, but you can’t exactly talk at this point
- >Fluffy Dash pipes up
- >”Fwuffysii! Baww fwend gonna sweep fuhevah!”
- >oh no, she thinks the ball’s going to die
- >Fluffyshy starts to tear up and speaks through sobs
- >”Nuu! Fwuffysii no mean kiww baww fwend! Sowwy! No sweepies! Pwease no sweepies!”
- >wait, this is perfect
- >”Fluffyshy! *cough* Kick me! *cough* Do it…or I’ll DIE!”
- >you break the falsetto on the “DIE”, replacing it with your best dramatic voice
- >you make a big point to gasp and wheeze
- >Fluffy Dash runs up and prepares to buck the ball
- >”Dasii kick baww! Dasii save baww fwend!”
- >”No! Only Fluffyshy can do it!”
- >she crying her eyes out, begging for “ball friend’s” safety
- >”Fwuffysii! Kick baww fwend! Huwwy!”
- >she looks from you, to Fluffy Dash, to the ball
- >game face initiated
- >she puffs her cheeks out and rushes over to the ball
- >”Fwuffysii save yuu, baww! WAHHHHHHHHHH!”
- >she boots the ball and it bounces around the room
- >”Holy shit!”
- >you forgot to turn off the falsetto
- >how in the hell did she learn karate cries?
- >”Baww fwend otay?”
- >”Uhhh…yeah! You saved me, fluffies! I love you all!”
- >both of them let out a “yay!”
- >you go back to your normal voice
- >”Great work, you two! What do you say we celebrate with…SPAGHETTI?”
- >the two fluffies cheer loudly at this
- >you carry them downstairs, when Fluffyshy stops you
- >”W-wai! Take baww fwend? Pwease?”
- >ah, what the hell
- >”Sure. I’ll go get him.”
- >you get the ball and set the two-erm, the three of them all down on the kitchen floor
- >Fluffyshy hugs the ball tightly, and Fluffy Dash congratulates her on saving him
- >as you cook the spaghetti, you chuckle to yourself
- >learn to play the tuba, they said
- >ventriloquism is stupid, they said
- >well, who knew that would come in handy with fluffies?
- >you strain the spaghetti and then hear a call from the other side of the room
- >”Daddeh? Why baww fwend no talk when yuu no howd him?”
- >fuck
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