-IceMan-

Краткая Русская Сказка

Sep 1st, 2013
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  1. Краткая Русская Сказка
  2. By IceMan
  3.  
  4. (A brief note: when I originally wrote this story, I did not speak any Russian. I just Google translated it. If you can actually understand the first section, you will probably notice some significant errors. I will probably work through this and actually translate it as best as I can for a first-and-a-half-year Russian student. Извините.)
  5.  
  6. >День Родине в Эквестрии.
  7. >Прошло три месяца, так как вы вкусили сладкий, горький нектар водки.
  8. >Пришло время исправить это.
  9. >Вы отправиться на ферму Oранжевой Пони с мастерком и над головой клубней.
  10. >Конечно, глупо с американским акцентом капиталистические свиньи пони приходит, чтобы найти вас.
  11. >"Anonymous, what in the hay are you doing?" спрашивает она.
  12. "Мне нужно картофель," даже не глядя на нее.
  13. >"Crazy human... can't understand a darn thing he's saying."
  14. >Вы выкопать ваш приз и довести его до дерева Фиолетовый Пони, кто читает книги.
  15. "Товарищ Фиолетовая пони. Мне нужно сделать водку. Скажите мне, где я могу найти чайник, прежде чем я натянуть вас, как Политбюро сделал с моим отцом."
  16. >"Celestia, Anonymous. Don't sneak up on me like that! What do you want?"
  17. "Меня зовут не является анонимным. Прекрати называть меня так!"
  18. >"I'm still working on that spell that will get us to be able to understand you. But until then... it sounded like you needed something, so... just go do whatever it is you need to do."
  19. >Пурпурный Смайлики пони.
  20. >Вы хмуриться спину и голову на кухню.
  21. >Вы кости, ломтик, Маш, и разбить картофель, так же, как Политбюро сделал с твоим отцом, когда он попытался вырваться из политической тюрьмы.
  22. >Ах, водку.
  23. >Твоя мать кормила его к вам в бутылку перед Политбюро забрал ее за то, что фашистские шпиона.
  24. >Она думала, что это сделает вас сильным.
  25. >Вместо этого он, казалось, дали вам алкоголизма и повреждения мозга.
  26. >По крайней мере, это было то, что государство врач сказала, и он был назначен коррумпированных бюрократов.
  27. >Вы нагреть немного воды в кастрюлю и залить в пюре, затем захватить пакет дрожжей и добавить, что.
  28. >С криком "Сладкая водка!" Вы макают головой в воду.
  29. >Вы должны были ожоги третьей степени на кожу и внутрь горла в течение трех минут, прежде чем уступил боли.
  30. >Магических врачи смогли исправить вас, но вы все еще не было водки.
  31. >Такова была жизнь в Эквестрию.
  32. >Не водка, только боль.
  33.  
  34. Translation back to English from Google Translate:
  35. >Day of the Motherland in Equestria.
  36. >It has been three months since you have tasted sweet, bitter nectar of vodka.
  37. >It's time to fix it.
  38. >You go to the farm Orange Pony with a trowel and head over to the tubers.
  39. >Of course, the stupid American accent capitalist pig pony comes to find you.
  40. >"Anonymous, what in the hay are you doing?" she asks.
  41. "I need a potato," without even looking at her.
  42. >"Crazy human... can't understand a darn thing he's saying."
  43. >You dig up your prize and bring it to a tree Purple Pony, who is reading a book.
  44. "Comrade Purple Pony. I need to make vodka. Tell me where I can find the kettle before I pull you, as the Politburo did to my father."
  45. >"Celestia, Anonymous. Don't sneak up on me like that! What do you want?"
  46. "My name is not anonymous. Stop calling me that!"
  47. >"I'm still working on that spell that will get us to be able to understand you. But until then... it sounded like you needed something, so... just go do whatever it is you need to do."
  48. >Purple Smiles pony.
  49. >You frown and head back to the kitchen.
  50. >You dice, slice, mash and smash potatoes, as well as the Politburo did to your father when he tried to escape from the political prison.
  51. >Oh, and vodka.
  52. >Your mother was feeding it to you in a bottle in front of the Politburo took it for what Nazi spy.
  53. >She thought that it will make you strong.
  54. >Instead, he seemed to have given you the alcoholism and brain damage.
  55. >At least, that was what the government doctor said, and he was appointed corrupt bureaucrats.
  56. >You have to heat some water in a pan and pour in the sauce, then grab a packet of yeast and add that.
  57. >With a cry of "Sweet vodka!" You head dipped into water.
  58. >You had third degree burns on the skin and into the throat for three minutes before lost pain.
  59. >Magic doctors were able to correct you, but you still did not have vodka.
  60. >Such was life in Equestria.
  61. >Do not vodka, only pain.
  62.  
  63. Actual Text:
  64. >Day Motherland in Equestria.
  65. >It has been three months since you have tasted the sweet, bitter nectar of vodka.
  66. >It's time to fix that.
  67. >You go to the farm of the Orange Pony with a trowel and head over to the potatoes.
  68. >Of course, the stupid American-accented capitalist pig pony comes to find you.
  69. >"Anonymous, what in the hay are you doing?" she asks.
  70. "I need a potato," you say, without even looking at her.
  71. >"Crazy human ... can't understand a darn thing he's saying."
  72. >You dig up your prize and bring it to the tree of Purple Pony, who is reading a book.
  73. "Comrade Purple Pony. I need to make vodka. Tell me where I can find the kettle before I tear you apart, as the Politburo did to my father."
  74. >"Celestia, Anonymous. Don't sneak up on me like that! What do you want?"
  75. "My name is not 'Anonymous.' Stop calling me that!"
  76. >"I'm still working on that spell that will get us to be able to understand you. But until then ... it sounded like you needed something, so ... just go do whatever it is you need to do."
  77. >Purple Pony smiles.
  78. >You frown and head back to the kitchen.
  79. >You dice, slice, mash and smash potatoes, like the Politburo did to your father when he tried to escape from the political prison.
  80. >Oh, vodka.
  81. >Your mother was fed it to you in a bottle, until Politburo took her for being a Nazi spy.
  82. >She thought that the vodka will make you strong.
  83. >Instead, he seemed to have given you the alcoholism and brain damage.
  84. >At least, that was what the government doctor said, and he was appointed by corrupt bureaucrats.
  85. >You have to heat some water in a pan and pour in the mash, then grab a packet of yeast and add that.
  86. >With a cry of "Sweet vodka!" you dip your head into the water.
  87. >You felt the pain of third degree burns on your skin and in your throat for three minutes before succumbed pain.
  88. >The magic doctors were able to fix you, but you still did not have vodka.
  89. >Such is life in Equestria.
  90. >No vodka, only pain.
  91.  
  92. And now, as the coup de grace . . .
  93. >Dizzle Motherland up in Equestria.
  94. >It has been three months since you have smoked tha dope, bitter nectar of vodka.
  95. >It ain't nuthin but time ta fix dis shit.
  96. >Yo ass git all up in da barn of tha Orange Pony wit a trowel n' head over ta tha potatoes.
  97. >Of course, tha wack Gangsta-accented capitalist pig pony comes ta find yo thugged-out ass.
  98. >"Anonymous, what in the hay are you doing?" she asks.
  99. "I need a potato," you say, without even lookin at her muthafuckin ass.
  100. >"Crazy human ... can't understand a darn thing he's saying."
  101. >Yo ass dig up yo' prize n' brang it ta tha tree of Purple Pony, whoz ass is readin a funky-ass book.
  102. "Comrade purple pony. I need ta make vodka. Tell me where I can find tha kettle before I tear you apart, as tha Politburo did ta mah father."
  103. >"Celestia, Anonymous. Don't sneak up on me like that! What do you want?"
  104. "Hoes call me not 'Anonymous.' Quit callin me that!"
  105. >"I be still hustlin on dat spell dat will git our asses ta be able ta KNOW yo thugged-out ass. But until then ... it sounded like you needed something, so ... just go do whatever it is you need ta do."
  106. >Purple Pony smiles.
  107. >Yo ass frown n' head back ta tha kitchen.
  108. >Yo ass dice, slice, mash n' smash potatoes, like tha Politburo did ta yo' daddy when tha pimpin' muthafucka tried ta escape from tha ballistical prison.
  109. >Oh, vodka.
  110. >Yo crazy-ass mutha was fed it ta you up in a funky-ass bottle, until Politburo took her fo' bein a Nazi spy.
  111. >Bitch thought dat tha vodka will make you strong.
  112. >Instead, da perved-out muthafucka seemed ta have given you tha hittin tha brew like a muthafucka n' dome damage.
  113. >At least, dat was what tha fuck tha posse doctor holla'd, n' da thug was appointed by corrupt bureaucrats.
  114. >Yo ass gotta heat some gin n juice up in a pan n' pour up in tha mash, then grab a packet of yeast n' add dis shit.
  115. >With a cold-ass lil cry of "Sweet vodka!" you dip yo' head tha fuck into tha water.
  116. >Yo ass felt tha pain of third degree burns on yo' skin n' up in yo' throat fo' three minutes before succumbed pain.
  117. >Da magic doctors was able ta fix you yo, but you still did not have vodka.
  118. >Such is game up in Equestria.
  119. >No vodka, only pain.
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