S7 Sheith

This is a conversation between Keith Kogane and yourself, Takashi Shirogane.
Takashi Shirogane: It's surreal, thinking about heading back home after so long.
Keith Kogane: That sure is a way to look at it.
Keith Kogane: How do you feel? About going back.
Takashi Shirogane: I guess I don't really know what to feel. I haven't decided if I'm relieved at finally being able to fight on familiar ground, scared of everything I still have left to lose, or...
Takashi Shirogane: I guess the closer we get, the clearer it'll be.
Keith Kogane: I don't know if that's how it works.
Keith Kogane: But I guess I also don't have as much to work through, as far as feelings about this go.
Keith Kogane: There's nothing for me there that I don't have here, you know?
Keith Kogane: I got lucky that way.
Takashi Shirogane: That sure is a way to look at it.
Takashi Shirogane: When all this is over, what do you think you'll do, if not settle down?
Keith Kogane: I still don't know if settling down is an option, really.
Keith Kogane: I actually wanted to talk to you about your plans.
Takashi Shirogane: My plans? What about them?
Keith Kogane: We both know you left a lot more back home than I did.
Takashi Shirogane: And we both know I would have given it all up in a heartbeat for a shot at the stars.
Keith Kogane: Even after everything that went down, I think you made the right choice. For yourself.
Takashi Shirogane: I think so, too. I can't bring myself to regret any of it. Feel sad that things didn't go as planned, yeah, but there's nothing for it except... Soldiering on and doing better.
Takashi Shirogane: And that's what's different about you. You're not trying to strap me down and make sure I stay out of the fight because you're scared.
Takashi Shirogane: I just... I can't say how much I appreciate that.
Keith Kogane: [They're sitting side by side, a little ways away from the camp the rest of the team had set up. This planet has a sun very similar to their own solar system's, and there's something weirdly comforting about the familiar colors it casts as it sets on the horizon. This comment earns the first smile of the conversation, a small thing but wholly genuine. It falters after a beat, as he remembers the line of conversation he'd intended to pursue.]
Keith Kogane: I know you don't want animosity between the two of you. You're going to track him down when we get back, right?
Takashi Shirogane: [For a moment, three years of space travel all crowd around in his head at once, obscuring all thoughts of home and what he left behind there, before it finally clicks and Shiro is left with a short bark of laughter that contains no humor.] I have a feeling that when we get back, he's either going to be the one to track me down or he'll be long gone. Either way, he's... [It hurts to say it, but he has to anyway.] Not a priority for me. Not as much as making sure the rest of the planet is safe. Once that's done, then I can start thinking about how to diffuse that bomb.
Keith Kogane: [He doesn't know what to think about that response, and so he's silent for a long moment, eyes forward and looking over the sunset.]
Keith Kogane: I think I should have expected that.
Keith Kogane: It's weird, how I think I know you better than I know just about anything, and then you go and catch me completely off guard.
Takashi Shirogane: [He's watching Keith during that quiet moment, not wavering even as he speaks except to close his eyes for a brief instant.] I still think you know me better than anyone does; it's just a testament to how big of a mess I've ended up. [There's a wry twist to his mouth as his gaze shifts toward the horizon in front of them.] There's got to be something wrong with that, right? Like, there's a limit to compartmentalizing, but I've just had so much put into perspective that it makes it hard to worry myself sick over somebody that's already made it clear who he's out for.
Takashi Shirogane: It wasn't for me.
Keith Kogane: I don't think you're a mess. [His tone is painfully earnest.] I think you're the result of your circumstances. There's a lot of ways that could have gone, but the direction you've chosen puts you on a path that's just as compassionate and dedicated as the one you started on.
Keith Kogane: I don't...want to talk much about that relationship, because I think I'll say some things that would be hurtful to you.
Keith Kogane: But I did bring it up for a reason.
Takashi Shirogane: [At a loss for any proper response to Keith's stalwart support, Shiro instead reaches over to grip his shoulder, flesh and blood hand warm with the contact. The smile he offers is tentative, but genuine.] You don't have to hold back around me. What's the reason?
Keith Kogane: I don't. [That's not quite true, especially in context.] Usually.
Keith Kogane: [The sunset is beautiful, and Keith isn't immune to that, but it doesn't make his heart soar quite like the sight of Shiro, colored warmly in the waning light.]
Keith Kogane: I was thinking about your plans, and my plans, whatever they end up being.
Keith Kogane: And then I was thinking, there's something I should probably say before we set off on those paths.
Takashi Shirogane: I'm listening, Keith. [There's a quiet intensity to his gaze that hasn't been present since he first awoke in a body that was his but not quite. There are so many little details new to Keith for him to pick out, the breadth of his shoulders, the jut of his collarbone, that are familiar and unfamiliar at once. They two of them are a pair of mismatched parts, both seemingly swapped out in the blink of an eye but in reality the product of days and months and years of subtle change.] Whatever it is, I'm here.
Keith Kogane: [Whatever had changed in the both of them, the sound of his name on Shiro's lips was so familiar that it ached. He held his gaze just as steadily, just as intently, as his own eyes were being held, and the moment seemed to stretch on for an eternity between them as he gathered himself to get to the fucking point already.]
Keith Kogane: When I told you I loved you, I was misspoke.
Keith Kogane: You're not a brother to me, and I've never really felt that way in the past, either.
Keith Kogane: You're-- [And now he faltered. Frustrated, he sucked in a deep breath and pushed forward again.] Takashi, you're--
Keith Kogane: I love you.
Keith Kogane: And I don't need you to do anything with that, I just needed you to know.
Takashi Shirogane: [Up until this point, he had been trying desperately not to think of that moment, not to turn it over and over again in his head and dissecting it from every angle to find some sort of hidden meaning in what was said. Shiro wanted to convince himself that there was nothing beneath the surface but a desperate attempt to get through to him, smothering the raw hope in his chest that told him maybe if he thought long and hard enough, the clouds would part and he would gain some new understanding. This is everything he hoped and feared in one single, fragile instant, and this is Keith laying himself bare for something Shiro has no right to ask from him. If nothing else, that deserves the same honesty.]

Keith. [The sound is soft, adoring, precious in the way he says it because his voice is thick with emotion.] I thought that I could be happy just as your friend, or your mentor, or your brother if that's what you thought of me. I thought that as long as it meant we were able to stick close, I could just be okay playing whatever it was you needed me to be, but I-- [He vehemently refuses to shed the tears that want release, not after he's come this far.] I can't lie. Not to you. Not about this.
Takashi Shirogane: I made you a promise, and you've never given up on me, and that should be more than enough, but I just keep wanting more.
Takashi Shirogane: I love you, too, more than I should-- because you deserve so much better, Keith.
Keith Kogane: [There was nothing for Keith to do to this but gawk. And gawk. And gawk some more. There was nothing to do but gawk, because his thoughts were struggling so much to catch up with what had been said. Maybe part of Keith had believed it wasn't impossible for Shiro to love him back, but he'd never in a thousand years, a million lightyears of desperately searching the galaxy for this man, considered that Shiro thought of himself as /less/.]
Keith Kogane: I can't even begin to try and picture what better than you looks like.
Keith Kogane: And even if I could, I wouldn't want it.
Takashi Shirogane: Hey, it's a big universe. [And Shiro reaches out again, the way he's wanted to since the moment he first reopened his eyes, to trace the edge of Keith's scar, physical proof of everything he's had to overcome to get to this point. Even if it was Shiro himself. The pad of his thumb drags from its tip at his cheekbone to the base of his jaw, tilting his face up those scant few inches.] But if you're really sure, then I've been waiting way longer than I want to admit to kiss you. [There's hesitation in his expression, like he's still some red-faced cadet fumbling his way through an invitation to stargaze.] Can I?
Keith Kogane: Can you? [Keith let out a huff of laughter, because what else could he do? Shiro's hand was on his face, the touch more tender than anything he had ever felt, from Shiro or otherwise. The fact that it /was/ Shiro only made the effect of the contact that much more potent.]
Keith Kogane: Awfully sweet if you to ask, but very unnecessary.
Keith Kogane: [He's not going to wait, either. He's going in for the kill. Shiro's lips are a little dry, a little rough, but that just makes the kiss that much more real and Keith is into it wholeheartedly.]
Takashi Shirogane: [Yep, there's no way this was going to end any other way. Shiro sees the folly in asking as soon as Keith repeats his question back at him, so it's lucky that he's not taken by complete surprise when he goes right for the gold. He reciprocates as best he can while trying to hook the one good arm he's got left across his back to pull them flush against each other. With a break long enough to gulp down a shallow breath of air, he can't help the giant, dumbstruck grin on his face as he looks at Keith like he just hung the moon in the sky.] God, remind me to ask obvious questions more often if this is how you're going to react.