Anon's Pinktastic Adventure

>You are Anonymous, and you've been stuck in pastel horsie world for a while now.
>At first Twilight thought she had summoned Discord 2.0.
>You had to stop her from blasting you with grape-flavored magic.
>It actually tickled, apparently humans negate magic because they have no magic.
>Or maybe Twilight is full of shit, who knows?
>Anyway, she soon realized you needed a place to stay.
>Pinkie Pie was nearby for reasons known only to her and nearly carried you to her home.
>The thought of another Discord must've excited pink pone.
>That's how you came to work at Sugar Cube Corner with Pinks.
>It wasn't so bad, all things considered.
>You got to help her throw huge parties, which was always fun.
>Recently you'd noticed that she spent more time staring your way.
>Wonder what that's all about, maybe she knows your birthday?
>Weirder things have happened in this place, and Pinkie is almost psychic.
>Right now you have bigger things to worry about, like what to eat for lunch.
"Hmm, I could eat some veggie burgers, or I could try and convince Flutters to give me meat."
>You didn't have the best sense of timing.
>"What about me, Mr. Anonymous?"
>Shit, come up with an excuse.
"Oh nothing Flutters, just wondering what to eat for lunch is all."
>She smiled, "If you need a fish or two, you can come see me."
>Wait what.
"It's that easy? No freaking out at me eating meat?"
>She laughed, "Oh no, I can see how you might think that, but Harry eats plenty of fish!"
>You raise an eyebrow.
"Harry?"
>"He's a big, cuddly bear. I'm sure you'd love to meet him!"
>You let out a nervous chuckle.
"Y-yeah, I'm sure he and I would get along just fine."
>Thinking about it for a moment, you decide fish would be way better than more veggie burgs.
"Yeah, okay. I'm down for fishy business."

>Making your way to yellowquiet's humble hut, you take the time to admire nature.
>Even that one creepy spider that insisted on following you around.
>As you step inside Fluttershy's house you feel something hit your ankle.
>You don't really need to look down to know who it is.
"Relax Angel, you're not gonna have another Discord situation on your hands."
>Apparently you weren't the only visitor the pegasus had today.
>"Did somebody call for me? Oh! Anonymous! How have you been?"
>He teleports over to you, "Have you come to sample her cooking? It's divine!"
>"Oh stop it Discord, it's not that great."
>"Oh but it is!... Say, Anon, have you seen Pinkie anywhere today?"
>You shrug.
"I got no clue, why? You guys going pranking?"
>He grins, "I figured you of all ponies would know where she is."
"I'm not her babysitter, and I'm not a pony."
>He snaps his fingers and a medical chart appears.
>"Maybe not in form, but certainly in heart."
>You suppose your heart had grown three sizes since you showed up here.
"Point taken, so why bring her up?"
>He giggles, "Oh no reason, just wondering is all."
>Weird, but he's the God of Chaos, he's like that.
>Figuring you might as well try some of Fluttershy's cooking, you spend your lunch break at her house.
>You sit down next to Discord, your chaotic partner in crime, and dig in.
>"Well Anon, what did I tell you?"
>You stare into the abyss.
>This is some good motherfucking food.
"Holy shit how do you even make food this good?"
>Fluttershy blushes, "Aw come on guys, you're too good to me."
"No but seriously, the only other pony I've known to cook this good is Pinkie."
>Her face is now supernova, "Well she did teach me quite a bit."
"I need to compliment her cooking more too."
>You thank Fluttershy and set off back to work.
>Sugar Cube Corner, here you come.

>Whistling a jaunty tune as you walk down the streets of Ponyville, you see a blue blur.
>Apparently somebody had to go fast.
>Wait no, it's coming back for you.
>"Watch out!"
>No shit, you're too slow and get nailed by the speeding mass.
"Goddamnit Dash, what'd I tell you about hurling yourself into me?"
>She rubs her head, "Uh, that it really hurts and I should stop doing it?"
>You pat her on the head.
"Good, you did remember. That means you're just ignoring me."
>Sitting up, you dust yourself off.
"Which is fine, just don't complain when I say I told you so."
>She punches you in the shoulder, "As if, Mr. Know-It-All."
>You both sit there for a minute, and then the two of you bust out laughing.
"Oh man, we're never gonna change, are we?"
>"No, but it's funny to try it anyway."
>Her eyes flash for a moment. Ponies are weird.
>"Oh yeah! Pinkie said she wanted to see you."
"Any reason why?"
>"Dunno, said something about a party."
"I gotta get back to work, but I'll be sure to-"
>"And she got you the rest of the day off."
>Sometimes you loved that girl.
"Alright, where do I meet her?"
>"Over by Sweet Apple Acres, AJ let her borrow the barn."
"Thanks Dashie, I'll catch you around!"
>As you run off you can hear her complaining about your nickname.
>"I am NOT cute! I'm Rainbow Dash! Toughest pegasus around!"
>If you had time to prove her wrong you'd go back and boop her.
>No time to lose though, you had a party to throw!

>Running up to the Acres, you spot the CMC getting ready for another adventure.
>Stopping just long enough to give them a fist-hoof bump, you continue to the barn.
>Throwing open the doors in a grand fashion, you bounce in with a spring in your step.
"I am here to help pink party pony prepare a positively perfect party to partake in!"
>You see Pinkie fixing a balloon animal, they're all blue.
"Aw, how did you know my favorite color was blue?"
>She lights up at that, "It is?"
"Yep, just like the sky, the seas, and your eyes!"
>You think for a moment.
"Or mine I guess, though they're more of a grey."
>Shrugging, you walk over to Ponka and give her a hug.
"Why so glum chum? I can tell when something's got you down."
>She looks at you for a moment, and sighs.
>"I dunno Nonny, I've been feeling funny for a while now."
>She pokes at the balloon kitten she made.
>"And not the good kind of funny either."
>You pat her on the head.
"You work yourself too hard, maybe you should take a vacation?"
>She shakes her head, "Nonono, like whenever you're not around I feel funny."
>Maybe one of those spells Twilight hit you with is finally happening.
>Er, starting to work.
>Or maybe Pinkie is sick.
"You sure you don't need to see a doctor?"
>She shakes her head again, "Nope. No fever, no symptoms of illness. Just a warm, fuzzy feeling."
>You scratch your head.
"Fuzzy how?"
>Rubbing her chin, muzzle? Let's go with muzzle, she looks at you.
>"Like whenever I see you my chest feels like a swarm of little Gummies are swimming inside it."
"That's not healthy."
>"It's really not, it's keeping me up at night thinking about you."
"So is that why you called me here?"
>"Yeparooni! I thought maybe throwing a party with you would help cure me!"
>You figure it makes as much sense as anything else Pinks does.
"And how could I ever say no to my favorite cuddlebuddy?"
>She gasps, "You have more than one?!"
"Haha, no."

>"You should try Fluttershy, she's a great cuddlebuddy!"
"Thanks, but I'll pass. I only need the one."
>You boop her on the nose.
>"Aw, thanks Nonny! Come on, I need some help getting these banners up!"
>It didn't take the two of you long to get everything set up.
>Between her energy and your efficiency, the two of you were party-planning experts.
>You'd never really been one for throwing parties, but her cheer was infectious.
>Apparently all your dumb ideas were great for something that was meant to be fun.
>Stepping back for a moment, you noticed something about the decorations.
"Uh, Pinkie? This looks like a party for two."
>Tapping her hooves together, she giggles.
>"Y-yeah, I was kinda hoping you'd dance with me?"
"Make a fool of myself with you? I'm down with that."
>She kicks on the music. Some sort of pop song.
>"Well then, let's party!"
>You walk the dinosaur, do the hustle, and spin with the grace of a drunken elephant.
>But you didn't care, it was fun to let loose once in a while.
>Falling over on each other, you both have a giggle fit.
>"Oh man Nonny! You're almost as dorky as Twilight!"
>She wipes a tear from her eyes.
"I try, so did that help any?"
>She nods, "I'm feeling better now."
>She wraps her hooves around your waist.
>"But maybe you should stick around to make sure."
>You stroke her mane.
"I had nothing else to do anyway."
>You hear the doors creak open.
>"Well now you do! Anonymous, I'd like for you to climb up a mountain and find some jewels for me."
>Welp, thanks Rarity. My half-day is now ruined.
"Fine, I guess I do owe you for the clothes."
>Pinkie shoots up, "Oooh! Can I go with him?!"
>Rarity thinks for a moment, "Just don't break anything darling."
>Standing up, you stretch your muscles.
"Alright, where we headed?"
>"It's that mountain over there."
>She points to the biggest, tallest, nastiest looking mountain.
"Of course it's that one. Come on Pinks, let's get going."

>You look up at that big motherfucker.
>You decided to call it Fuck Mountain.
>Because that's what anybody would say if they tried to climb it.
>Starting your way up the craggy path, you put Pinkie on your back.
>"Is this a piggyback ride?"
"Yes, because I have shoes and you don't."
>"I grew up on a rock farm Nonny."
"That's not the point. You're not wrecking your hooves for some stupid gems."
>She squeezes you, "Well, thanks. I appreciate it."
>She gasps, "I know! I can help you look for gems up here!"
"Fine by me, just hold on tight."
>You start climbing the mountain, making sure to keep your balance.

>One fourth of the way up, no gemeralds in sight.
>"You can take a break if you want Nonny."
"I'll be fine, don't worry about me Pinkie."
>"If you say so..."

>One third of the way up, you had to stop.
>"Told ya so!"
>You sit there scratching her ears.
"Yeah yeah, I could've totally made it further."
>"Really?"
"Yeah... another few feet."

>Halfway there, not a goddamn jewel on this fucking mountain.
>"Do you think Rarity set us up?"
"What? No, she wouldn't do that. Would she?"
>"Maybe she wanted to start pranking like Dashie and me!"
"If this is a prank, I'm not laughing."
>"Yeah, it's not very funny really."

>Two thirds of the way up.
"Pinkie, you're crushing me."
>She loosens her grip slightly.
>"Heh, sorry. I still can't get used to these heights."
"Right, no wings or unicorn magic."

>Three-fourths of the way there.
"I will not be beaten by a mountain."
>"Unless we fall."
"Don't talk like that Pinks!"
>"I'm just saying, one wrong move and we'll be getting cleaned up by our friends."
"Not. Helping!"

>Finally at the top, you sit Pinkie on the plateau.
>You throw your hands up towards the sky.
>And you let out a mighty shout.
"I AM THE KING OF FUCK MOUNTAIN!"

>You feel a rock hit you in the head.
>You turn around to see which dead motherfucker did that.
>It's Spike.
"What the hell man?! Why would you do that?!"
>"Because you're trying to win over Rarity, that's why! You know I like her!"
"I am not trying to step on your turf bro! I don't like her like that!"
>He thinks for a moment, "Yeah, I guess not. Otherwise you wouldn't have brought Pinkie along."
>Pinkie boops your leg, then hugs it.
>Scratching her chinmuzzle, you shrug.
"She wanted to come along, I gotta admit she made this really fun."
>Spike rolls his eyes, "You two are clueless."
>You cock your head, come again mate?
"Uhh... how so?"
>"Cause you two are always hanging out, having fun together."
>He gets up, dragging his bag of gems.
>"You do the math, as Twilight would say."
"Want me to help you with that?"
>He smiles, "Uh, yeah. Thanks."
>You all make your way back down the mountain.
>"I didn't hit you too hard, did I?"
"Nah, it's fine. Still a dick move."
>"Sorry, I guess I was upset."
"Don't mention it, it's over now."
>"... Can you tell Rarity I found the gems?"
"Well, I mean you did. So why not?"
>"Thanks Anon, I owe you one."
>"Do either of you want a milkshake?"
"Where the hell did you get that Pinkie?"
>"I had a freezer up here with a milkshake stored in it."
>... She was the queen of Fuck Mountain.
"Sure, I'll take it."
>You start drinking it, this thing was really good.
"What'd you put in this?"
>"Oh, chocolate, various sweets, and a whole lotta love!"
>You wouldn't mind having her love you like this milkshake.
>Whoa, where'd that come from? You didn't like her like that, did you?

>Back at Rarity's, you dropped off the bag of gems.
"Spike was already there by the time we got up the fucking mountain."
>"Oh he is such a dear! I need to go give my little Spikey-Wikey a kiss for being so helpful!"
>You watch her trot off, yeah that... that happened.
>You stare at Pinks.
"So... what next?"

>"Hmm, we could always go back to my room and snuggle!"
>Her pearly whites flashed as she gave you a big grin.
>After that adventure? Your legs could rest for a week as far as you were concerned.
"Yeah, sure okay. Let's go home Pinkie."
>"Yay! This is my favorite part of the day!"
>She hopped into your arms and gave you a face that couldn't be refused.
"Fine, I'll carry you."
>"Thanks Nonny!"

>Finally in her room, you sit her down on the bed and put your pajamas on.
>Then you fall onto her bed like a rock.
>You wrap your arms around her and pull her in close.
"Good night Pinkie."
>Closing your eyes, she wakes you up.
>"Um, Nonny... we still have a little time left to party."
"Pinks, I'm way too tired. We can snuggle until the Celestia puts the sun down."
>"Oh, okay... Hey Anon?"
>You opened your eyes, she barely ever said your real name.
"What's wrong Pinkie?"
>She shifts nervously for a minute, and then kisses you.
>First of all, fuck yeah.
>Second of all, holy shit wait what.
>Breaking the kiss, she looks down at her hooves.
>"Sorry, I just really got this tingly feeling and something told me to kiss you."
>Your brain takes a moment to adjust battle plans.
>You give her a hug.
"I think I feel the same way Pinkie."
>"You do? Ohmygosh, I'm so happy! Thank you Nonny!"
>You nuzzle her cheek.
"No Pinkie, thank you."
>You give her a kiss on the muzzle.
"For all your crazy antics, you have always been there for me."
>You yawn, sleep starting to overtake you.
"I guess I kinda... grew to... love you."
>The last words you hear before falling to sleep are "I love you too."

The End.