Lyra2

Okay, so maybe I never slept with the great Photo Finish. And I don't really cuss all that much. Just trying to stay hip with the young mammerjammers,..... yo. Wow, it was painful just writing that. I'm glad human culture evolved from that frightening period of Sussudios and Lego Maniacs. ....You know what else is painful? All these human culture references. It feels like I'm just trying to hammer the fact that I'm an anthropologist into your brains. I acknowledge that I shouldn't have to, seeing as I pretty much established this in the first paragraph...... after a painfully drawn out reference. Good Celestia, ponies, I'm just making my own cringe material here, aren't I? But here's the thing, I can't help it.
   They say that in any situation, the best method for effective audience enticing is to simply be yourself. The problem for me lies in the fact that myself is metaphorically an obsessive teenage girl. You know the type. Says random phrases concerning various types of processed meat with the intention of being funny, but just comes off as being annoying. Except for me, the processed meat is humans.
   What amazes me is that I've found that humans ate just about every kind of meat, but not human meat. I mean, there were cannibals, but it's my opinion that if you have to have a name for what you're doing, you're just doing it ironically. This isn't to say there weren't non-ironic cannibals, but they came first and were few in number. They enjoyed the human eating and boasted about it to their friends. "How could we possibly taste good?" the friends asked. They were eventually coaxed into cannibalism and it grew in popularity. Then the village elders found out and decided to milk the movement for all it was worth. Suddenly, people who really didn't give a fuck about cannibalism were raving about it like they were there from the beginning. But they weren't. Fucking ironic cannibal hipsters. Anyways. Forgive my tired rambling. More Lyrisms tomorrow. LOL JOHN LINELL IS BEST JOHN. LOL I'M A FUCKING GIANT. BROKLAW, AMIRITE GUYS. .....ugh, go home lyra, you're drunk.