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  1. %
  2. Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing.
  3. %
  4. Let's call it an accidental feature.
  5. -- Larry Wall
  6. %
  7. I did this 'cause Linux gives me a woody. It doesn't generate revenue.
  8. -- Dave '-ddt->` Taylor, announcing DOOM for Linux
  9. %
  10. Feel free to contact me (flames about my english and the useless of this
  11. driver will be redirected to /dev/null, oh no, it's full...).
  12. -- Michael Beck, describing the PC-speaker sound device
  13. %
  14. lp1 on fire
  15. -- One of the more obfuscated kernel messages
  16. %
  17. A Linux machine! Because a 486 is a terrible thing to waste!
  18. -- Joe Sloan, jjs@wintermute.ucr.edu
  19. %
  20. Microsoft is not the answer.
  21. Microsoft is the question.
  22. NO (or Linux) is the answer.
  23. -- Taken from a .signature from someone from the UK, source unknown
  24. %
  25. In most countries selling harmful things like drugs is punishable.
  26. Then howcome people can sell Microsoft software and go unpunished?
  27. -- Hasse Skrifvars, hasku@rost.abo.fi,
  28. %
  29. Windows without the X is like making love without a partner.
  30. Sex, Drugs & Linux Rules
  31. win-nt from the people who invented edlin.
  32. Apples have meant trouble since eden.
  33. Linux, the way to get rid of boot viruses
  34. -- MaDsen Wikholm, mwikholm@at8.abo.fi
  35. %
  36. Once upon a time there was a DOS user who saw Unix, and saw that it was
  37. good. After typing cp on his DOS machine at home, he downloaded GNU's
  38. unix tools ported to DOS and installed them. He rm'd, cp'd, and mv'd
  39. happily for many days, and upon finding elvis, he vi'd and was happy. After
  40. a long day at work (on a Unix box) he came home, started editing a file,
  41. and couldn't figure out why he couldn't suspend vi (w/ ctrl-z) to do
  42. a compile.
  43. -- Erik Troan, ewt@tipper.oit.unc.edu
  44. %
  45. We are MicroSoft. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
  46. -- Attributed to B.G., Gill Bates
  47. %
  48. Avoid the Gates of Hell. Use Linux
  49. -- unknown source
  50. %
  51. Intel engineering seem to have misheard Intel marketing strategy. The
  52. phrase was "Divide and conquer" not "Divide and cock up"
  53. -- Alan Cox, iialan@www.linux.org.uk
  54. %
  55. Linux! Guerrilla UNIX Development Venimus, Vidimus, Dolavimus.
  56. -- Mark A. Horton KA4YBR, mah@ka4ybr.com
  57. %
  58. "Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"
  59. Microsoft spel chekar vor sail, worgs grate !!
  60. -- Felix von Leitner, leitner@inf.fu-berlin.de
  61. %
  62. Personally, I think my choice in the mostest-superlative-computer wars has to
  63. be the HP-48 series of calculators. They'll run almost anything. And if they
  64. can't, while I'll just plug a Linux box into the serial port and load up the
  65. HP-48 VT-100 emulator.
  66. -- Jeff Dege, jdege@winternet.com
  67. %
  68. There are no threads in a.b.p.erotica, so there's no gain in using a
  69. threaded news reader.
  70. -- unknown source
  71. %
  72. /*
  73. * Oops. The kernel tried to access some bad page. We'll have to
  74. * terminate things with extreme prejudice.
  75. */
  76. die_if_kernel("Oops", regs, error_code);
  77. -- From linux/arch/i386/mm/fault.c
  78. %
  79. Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste
  80. -- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
  81. %
  82. Linux: the choice of a GNU generation
  83. -- ksh@cis.ufl.edu put this on Tshirts in '93
  84. %
  85. There are two types of Linux developers - those who can spell, and
  86. those who can't. There is a constant pitched battle between the two.
  87. -- From one of the post-1.1.54 kernel update messages posted to c.o.l.a
  88. %
  89. When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows", people just stare at
  90. you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*".
  91. -- Linus Torvalds
  92. %
  93. We come to bury DOS, not to praise it.
  94. -- Paul Vojta, vojta@math.berkeley.edu
  95. %
  96. Be warned that typing killall name may not have the desired
  97. effect on non-Linux systems, especially when done by a privileged user.
  98. -- From the killall manual page
  99. %
  100. Note that if I can get you to "su and say" something just by asking,
  101. you have a very serious security problem on your system and you should
  102. look into it.
  103. -- Paul Vixie, vixie-cron 3.0.1 installation notes
  104. %
  105. How should I know if it works? That's what beta testers are for. I
  106. only coded it.
  107. -- Attributed to Linus Torvalds, somewhere in a posting
  108. %
  109. I develop for Linux for a living, I used to develop for DOS.
  110. Going from DOS to Linux is like trading a glider for an F117.
  111. -- Lawrence Foard, entropy@world.std.com
  112. %
  113. Absolutely nothing should be concluded from these figures except that
  114. no conclusion can be drawn from them.
  115. -- Joseph L. Brothers, Linux/PowerPC Project)
  116. %
  117. If the future navigation system [for interactive networked services on
  118. the NII] looks like something from Microsoft, it will never work.
  119. -- Chairman of Walt Disney Television & Telecommunications
  120. %
  121. Problem solving under Linux has never been the circus that it is under
  122. AIX.
  123. -- Pete Ehlke in comp.unix.aix
  124. %
  125. I don't know why, but first C programs tend to look a lot worse than
  126. first programs in any other language (maybe except for fortran, but then
  127. I suspect all fortran programs look like `firsts')
  128. -- Olaf Kirch
  129. %
  130. On a normal ascii line, the only safe condition to detect is a 'BREAK'
  131. - everything else having been assigned functions by Gnu EMACS.
  132. -- Tarl Neustaedter
  133. %
  134. By golly, I'm beginning to think Linux really *is* the best thing since
  135. sliced bread.
  136. -- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
  137. %
  138. I'd crawl over an acre of 'Visual This++' and 'Integrated Development
  139. That' to get to gcc, Emacs, and gdb. Thank you.
  140. -- Vance Petree, Virginia Power
  141. %
  142. Oh, I've seen copies [of Linux Journal] around the terminal room at The Labs.
  143. -- Dennis Ritchie
  144. %
  145. If you want to travel around the world and be invited to speak at a lot
  146. of different places, just write a Unix operating system.
  147. -- Linus Torvalds
  148. %
  149. ...and scantily clad females, of course. Who cares if it's below zero
  150. outside.
  151. -- Linus Torvalds
  152. %
  153. ...you might as well skip the Xmas celebration completely, and instead
  154. sit in front of your linux computer playing with the all-new-and-improved
  155. linux kernel version.
  156. -- Linus Torvalds
  157. %
  158. Besides, I think Slackware sounds better than 'Microsoft,' don't you?
  159. -- Patrick Volkerding
  160. %
  161. All language designers are arrogant. Goes with the territory...
  162. -- Larry Wall
  163. %
  164. And the next time you consider complaining that running Lucid Emacs
  165. 19.05 via NFS from a remote Linux machine in Paraguay doesn't seem to
  166. get the background colors right, you'll know who to thank.
  167. -- Matt Welsh
  168. %
  169. Are Linux users lemmings collectively jumping off of the cliff of
  170. reliable, well-engineered commercial software?
  171. -- Matt Welsh
  172. %
  173. Even more amazing was the realization that God has Internet access. I
  174. wonder if He has a full newsfeed?
  175. -- Matt Welsh
  176. %
  177. I once witnessed a long-winded, month-long flamewar over the use of
  178. mice vs. trackballs... It was very silly.
  179. -- Matt Welsh
  180. %
  181. Linux poses a real challenge for those with a taste for late-night
  182. hacking (and/or conversations with God).
  183. -- Matt Welsh
  184. %
  185. What you end up with, after running an operating system concept through
  186. these many marketing coffee filters, is something not unlike plain hot
  187. water.
  188. -- Matt Welsh
  189. %
  190. ...Deep Hack Mode -- that mysterious and frightening state of
  191. consciousness where Mortal Users fear to tread.
  192. -- Matt Welsh
  193. %
  194. ...Unix, MS-DOS, and Windows NT (also known as the Good, the Bad, and
  195. the Ugly).
  196. -- Matt Welsh
  197. %
  198. ...very few phenomena can pull someone out of Deep Hack Mode, with two
  199. noted exceptions: being struck by lightning, or worse, your *computer*
  200. being struck by lightning.
  201. -- Matt Welsh
  202. %
  203. ..you could spend *all day* customizing the title bar. Believe me. I
  204. speak from experience.
  205. -- Matt Welsh
  206. %
  207. [In 'Doctor' mode], I spent a good ten minutes telling Emacs what I
  208. thought of it. (The response was, 'Perhaps you could try to be less
  209. abusive.')
  210. -- Matt Welsh
  211. %
  212. I would rather spend 10 hours reading someone else's source code than
  213. 10 minutes listening to Musak waiting for technical support which isn't.
  214. -- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
  215. %
  216. ...[Linux's] capacity to talk via any medium except smoke signals.
  217. -- Dr. Greg Wettstein, Roger Maris Cancer Center
  218. %
  219. Whip me. Beat me. Make me maintain AIX.
  220. -- Stephan Zielinski
  221. %
  222. Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse
  223. for some of the brain-damages of minix.
  224. -- Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum
  225. %
  226. I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a
  227. fundamental error. Be thankful you are not my student. You would not get a
  228. high grade for such a design :-)
  229. -- Andrew Tanenbaum to Linus Torvalds
  230. %
  231. We use Linux for all our mission-critical applications. Having the source code
  232. means that we are not held hostage by anyone's support department.
  233. -- Russell Nelson, President of Crynwr Software
  234. %
  235. Linux is obsolete
  236. -- Andrew Tanenbaum
  237. %
  238. Dijkstra probably hates me.
  239. -- Linus Torvalds, in kernel/sched.c
  240. %
  241. And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports
  242. on it, you know they are just evil lies.
  243. -- Linus Torvalds
  244. %
  245. We are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.
  246. -- seen in someone's .signature
  247. %
  248. Linux: the operating system with a CLUE... Command Line User Environment.
  249. -- seen in a posting in comp.software.testing
  250. %
  251. quit When the quit statement is read, the bc processor
  252. is terminated, regardless of where the quit state-
  253. ment is found. For example, "if (0 == 1) quit"
  254. will cause bc to terminate.
  255. -- seen in the manpage for "bc". Note the "if" statement's logic
  256. %
  257. Sic transit discus mundi
  258. -- From the System Administrator's Guide, by Lars Wirzenius
  259. %
  260. Sigh. I like to think it's just the Linux people who want to be on
  261. the "leading edge" so bad they walk right off the precipice.
  262. -- Craig E. Groeschel
  263. %
  264. We all know Linux is great... it does infinite loops in 5 seconds.
  265. - Linus Torvalds about the superiority of Linux on the Amterdam Linux Symposium
  266. %
  267. Waving away a cloud of smoke, I look up, and am blinded by a bright, white
  268. light. It's God. No, not Richard Stallman, or Linus Torvalds, but God. In
  269. a booming voice, He says: "THIS IS A SIGN. USE LINUX, THE FREE UNIX SYSTEM
  270. FOR THE 386.
  271. -- Matt Welsh
  272. %
  273. The chat program is in public domain. This is not the GNU public license.
  274. If it breaks then you get to keep both pieces.
  275. -- Copyright notice for the chat program
  276. %
  277. 'Mounten' wird fr drei Dinge benutzt: 'Aufsitzen' auf Pferde, 'einklinken'
  278. von Festplatten in Dateisysteme, und, nun, 'besteigen' beim Sex.
  279. -- Christa Keil
  280. %
  281. Manchmal stehe nachts auf und installier's mir einfach...
  282. -- H0arry @ IRC
  283. %
  284. 'Mounting' is used for three things: climbing on a horse, linking in a
  285. hard disk unit in data systems, and, well, mounting during sex.
  286. -- Christa Keil
  287. %
  288. We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours!
  289. -- Adapted from Pat Paulsen by Joe Sloan
  290. %
  291. But what can you do with it?
  292. -- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner
  293. %
  294. /*
  295. * [...] Note that 120 sec is defined in the protocol as the maximum
  296. * possible RTT. I guess we'll have to use something other than TCP
  297. * to talk to the University of Mars.
  298. * PAWS allows us longer timeouts and large windows, so once implemented
  299. * ftp to mars will work nicely.
  300. */
  301. -- from /usr/src/linux/net/inet/tcp.c, concerning RTT [round trip time]
  302. %
  303. DOS: n., A small annoying boot virus that causes random spontaneous system
  304. crashes, usually just before saving a massive project. Easily cured by
  305. UNIX. See also MS-DOS, IBM-DOS, DR-DOS.
  306. -- David Vicker's .plan
  307. %
  308. MSDOS didn't get as bad as it is overnight -- it took over ten years
  309. of careful development.
  310. -- dmeggins@aix1.uottawa.ca
  311. %
  312. LILO, you've got me on my knees!
  313. -- David Black, dblack@pilot.njin.net, with apologies to Derek and the
  314. Dominos, and Werner Almsberger
  315. %
  316. I've run DOOM more in the last few days than I have the last few
  317. months. I just love debugging ;-)
  318. -- Linus Torvalds
  319. %
  320. Microsoft Corp., concerned by the growing popularity of the free 32-bit
  321. operating system for Intel systems, Linux, has employed a number of top
  322. programmers from the underground world of virus development. Bill Gates stated
  323. yesterday: "World domination, fast -- it's either us or Linus". Mr. Torvalds
  324. was unavailable for comment ...
  325. -- Robert Manners, rjm@swift.eng.ox.ac.uk, in comp.os.linux.setup
  326. %
  327. The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned.
  328. -- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X interfaces
  329. %
  330. After watching my newly-retired dad spend two weeks learning how to make a new
  331. folder, it became obvious that "intuitive" mostly means "what the writer or
  332. speaker of intuitive likes".
  333. -- Bruce Ediger, bediger@teal.csn.org, on X the intuitiveness of a Mac interface
  334. %
  335. Now I know someone out there is going to claim, "Well then, UNIX is intuitive,
  336. because you only need to learn 5000 commands, and then everything else follows
  337. from that! Har har har!"
  338. -- Andy Bates on "intuitive interfaces", slightly defending Macs
  339. %
  340. > No manual is ever necessary.
  341. May I politely interject here: BULLSHIT. That's the biggest Apple lie of all!
  342. -- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces
  343. %
  344. How do I type "for i in *.dvi do xdvi $i done" in a GUI?
  345. -- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of interfaces
  346. %
  347. >Ever heard of .cshrc?
  348. That's a city in Bosnia. Right?
  349. -- Discussion in comp.os.linux.misc on the intuitiveness of commands
  350. %
  351. Who wants to remember that escape-x-alt-control-left shift-b puts you into
  352. super-edit-debug-compile mode?
  353. -- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs
  354. %
  355. Anyone who thinks UNIX is intuitive should be forced to write 5000 lines of
  356. code using nothing but vi or emacs. AAAAACK!
  357. -- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands, especially Emacs
  358. %
  359. Now, it we had this sort of thing:
  360. yield -a for yield to all traffic
  361. yield -t for yield to trucks
  362. yield -f for yield to people walking (yield foot)
  363. yield -d t* for yield on days starting with t
  364.  
  365. ...you'd have a lot of dead people at intersections, and traffic jams you
  366. wouldn't believe...
  367. -- Discussion on the intuitiveness of commands
  368. %
  369. Actually, typing random strings in the Finder does the equivalent of
  370. filename completion.
  371. -- Discussion on file completion vs. the Mac Finder
  372. %
  373. Not me, guy. I read the Bash man page each day like a Jehovah's Witness reads
  374. the Bible. No wait, the Bash man page IS the bible. Excuse me...
  375. -- More on confusing aliases, taken from comp.os.linux.misc
  376. %
  377. On the Internet, no one knows you're using Windows NT
  378. -- Submitted by Ramiro Estrugo, restrugo@fateware.com
  379. %
  380. > I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
  381. Disquieting ...
  382. -- Gonzalo Tornaria in response to Linus Torvalds's
  383. %
  384. > I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
  385. We need to find some new terms to describe the rest of us mere mortals
  386. then.
  387. -- Craig Schlenter in response to Linus Torvalds's
  388. %
  389. > I'm an idiot.. At least this [bug] took about 5 minutes to find..
  390. Surely, Linus is talking about the kind of idiocy that others aspire to :-).
  391. -- Bruce Perens in response to Linus Torvalds's
  392. %
  393. Never make any mistaeks.
  394. -- Anonymous, in a mail discussion about to a kernel bug report
  395. %
  396. +#if defined(__alpha__) && defined(CONFIG_PCI)
  397. + /*
  398. + * The meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Plus
  399. + * this makes the year come out right.
  400. + */
  401. + year -= 42;
  402. +#endif
  403. -- From the patch for 1.3.2: (kernel/time.c), submitted by Marcus Meissner
  404. %
  405. As usual, this being a 1.3.x release, I haven't even compiled this
  406. kernel yet. So if it works, you should be doubly impressed.
  407. -- Linus Torvalds, announcing kernel 1.3.3
  408. %
  409. People disagree with me. I just ignore them.
  410. -- Linus Torvalds, regarding the use of C++ for the Linux kernel
  411. %
  412. It's now the GNU Emacs of all terminal emulators.
  413. -- Linus Torvalds, regarding the fact that Linux started off as a terminal emulator
  414. %
  415. Audience: What will become of Linux when the Hurd is ready?
  416. Eric Youngdale: Err... is Richard Stallman here?
  417. -- From the Linux conference in spring '95, Berlin
  418. %
  419. Linux: The OS people choose without $200,000,000 of persuasion.
  420. -- Mike Coleman
  421. %
  422. The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.
  423. -- Linus Torvalds
  424. %
  425. ... faster BogoMIPS calculations (yes, it now boots 2 seconds faster than
  426. it used to: we're considering changing the name from "Linux" to "InstaBOOT"
  427. -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.26
  428. %
  429. ... of course, this probably only happens for tcsh which uses wait4(),
  430. which is why I never saw it. Serves people who use that abomination
  431. right 8^)
  432. -- Linus Torvalds, about a patch that fixes getrusage for 1.3.26
  433. %
  434. It's a bird..
  435. It's a plane..
  436. No, it's KernelMan, faster than a speeding bullet, to your rescue.
  437. Doing new kernel versions in under 5 seconds flat..
  438. -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
  439. %
  440. Eh, that's it, I guess. No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this
  441. kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the
  442. "happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along).
  443. -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
  444. %
  445. Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)"
  446. series of kernels. So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets
  447. and deliver this message of joy to the masses.
  448. -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.27
  449. %
  450. When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at
  451. you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*'.
  452. -- Linus Torvalds
  453. %
  454. Never trust an operating system you don't have sources for. ;-)
  455. -- Unknown source
  456. %
  457. > Linux is not user-friendly.
  458. It _is_ user-friendly. It is not ignorant-friendly and idiot-friendly.
  459. -- Seen somewhere on the net
  460. %
  461. Keep me informed on the behaviour of this kernel.. As the "BugFree(tm)"
  462. series didn't turn out too well, I'm starting a new series called the
  463. "ItWorksForMe(tm)" series, of which this new kernel is yet another
  464. shining example.
  465. -- Linus, in the announcement for 1.3.29
  466. %
  467. Seriously, the way I did this was by using a special /sbin/loader binary
  468. with debugging hooks that I made ("dd" is your friend: binary editors
  469. are for wimps).
  470. -- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
  471. %
  472. (I tried to get some documentation out of Digital on this, but as far as
  473. I can tell even _they_ don't have it ;-)
  474. -- Linus Torvalds, in an article on a dnserver
  475. %
  476. Q: Why shouldn't I simply delete the stuff I never use, it's just taking up
  477. space?
  478. A: This question is in the category of Famous Last Words..
  479. -- From the Frequently Unasked Questions
  480. %
  481. Q: What's the big deal about rm, I have been deleting stuff for years? And
  482. never lost anything.. oops!
  483. A: ...
  484. -- From the Frequently Unasked Questions
  485. %
  486. Linux is addictive, I'm hooked!
  487. -- MaDsen Wikholm's .sig
  488. %
  489. panic("Foooooooood fight!");
  490. -- In the kernel source aha1542.c, after detecting a bad segment list
  491. %
  492. Convention organizer to Linus Torvalds: "You might like to come with us
  493. to some licensed[1] place, and have some pizza."
  494.  
  495. Linus: "Oh, I did not know that you needed a license to eat pizza".
  496.  
  497. [1] Licenced - refers in Australia to a restaurant which has government
  498. licence to sell liquor.
  499. -- Linus at a talk at the Melbourne University
  500. %
  501. Footnotes are for things you believe don't really belong in LDP manuals,
  502. but want to include anyway.
  503. -- Joel N. Weber II discussing the 'make' chapter of LPG
  504. %
  505. Eh, that's it, I guess. No 300 million dollar unveiling event for this
  506. kernel, I'm afraid, but you're still supposed to think of this as the
  507. "happening of the century" (at least until the next kernel comes along).
  508. Oh, and this is another kernel in that great and venerable "BugFree(tm)"
  509. series of kernels. So be not afraid of bugs, but go out in the streets
  510. and deliver this message of joy to the masses.
  511. -- Linus Torvalds, on releasing 1.3.27
  512. %
  513. Ok, I'm just uploading the new version of the kernel, v1.3.33, also
  514. known as "the buggiest kernel ever".
  515. -- Linus Torvalds
  516. %
  517. Go not unto the Usenet for advice, for you will be told both yea and nay (and
  518. quite a few things that just have nothing at all to do with the question).
  519. -- seen in a .sig somewhere
  520. %
  521. Those who don't understand Linux are doomed to reinvent it, poorly.
  522. -- unidentified source
  523. %
  524. Look, I'm about to buy me a double barreled sawed off shotgun and show
  525. Linus what I think about backspace and delete not working.
  526. -- some anonymous .signature
  527. %
  528. We apologize for the inconvenience, but we'd still like yout to test out
  529. this kernel.
  530. -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
  531. %
  532. The new Linux anthem will be "He's an idiot, but he's ok", as performed by
  533. Monthy Python. You'd better start practicing.
  534. -- Linus Torvalds, announcing another kernel patch
  535. %
  536. How do you power off this machine?
  537. -- Linus, when upgrading linux.cs.helsinki.fi, and after using the machine for several months
  538. %
  539. Excusing bad programming is a shooting offence, no matter _what_ the
  540. circumstances.
  541. -- Linus Torvalds, to the linux-kernel list
  542. %
  543. Linus? Whose that?
  544. -- clueless newbie on #Linux
  545. %
  546. Whoa...I did a 'zcat /vmlinuz > /dev/audio' and I think I heard God...
  547. -- mikecd on #Linux
  548. %
  549. Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the
  550. grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin
  551. charging at them in excess of 100mph. They'd be a lot more careful about what
  552. they say if they had.
  553. -- Linus Torvalds, announcing Linux v2.0
  554. %
  555. MS-DOS, you can't live with it, you can live without it.
  556. -- from Lars Wirzenius' .sig
  557. %
  558. .. I used to get in more fights with SCO than I did my girlfriend, but
  559. now, thanks to Linux, she has more than happily accepted her place back at
  560. number one antagonist in my life..
  561. -- Jason Stiefel, krypto@s30.nmex.com
  562. %
  563. I mean, well, if it were not for Linux I might be roaming the streets looking
  564. for drugs or prostitutes or something. Hannu and Linus have my highest
  565. admiration (apple polishing mode off).
  566. -- Phil Lewis, plewis@nyx.nyx.net
  567. %
  568. > What does ELF stand for (in respect to Linux?)
  569. ELF is the first rock group that Ronnie James Dio performed with back in
  570. the early 1970's. In constrast, a.out is a misspelling of the French word
  571. for the month of August. What the two have in common is beyond me, but
  572. Linux users seem to use the two words together.
  573. -- seen on c.o.l.misc
  574. %
  575. "Linux was made by foreign terrorists to take money from true US companies
  576. like Microsoft." - Some AOL'er.
  577. "To this end we dedicate ourselves..." -Don
  578. -- From the sig of "Don", don@cs.byu.edu
  579. %
  580. Shoot me again.
  581. Just proving that the quickest way to solve the problem is to post a
  582. whine to the newsgroups: within moments the solution presents itself to
  583. me, and meanwhile my ass is hanging out on the Net... *sigh*...
  584. -- Dave Phillips, dlphilp@bright.net, about problem solving via news
  585. %
  586. Besides, its really not worthwhile to use more than two times your physical
  587. ram in swap (except in a select few situations). The performance of the system
  588. becomes so abysmal you'd rather heat pins under your toenails while reciting
  589. Windows95 source code and staring at porn flicks of Bob Dole than actually try
  590. to type something.
  591. -- seen on c.o.l.development.system, about the size of the swap space
  592. %
  593. Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff
  594. on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it ;)
  595. -- Linus Torvalds, about his failing hard drive on linux.cs.helsinki.fi
  596. %
  597. One of the things that hamper Linux's climb to world domination is the
  598. shortage of bad Computer Role Playing Games, or CRaPGs. No operating system
  599. can be considered respectable without one.
  600. -- Brian O'Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie
  601. %
  602. The game, anoraks.2.0.0.tgz, will be available from sunsite until somebody
  603. responsible notices it and deletes it, and shortly from
  604. ftp.mee.tcd.ie/pub/Brian, though they don't know that yet.
  605. -- Brian O'Donnell, odonnllb@tcd.ie
  606. %
  607. 'Ooohh.. "FreeBSD is faster over loopback, when compared to Linux
  608. over the wire". Film at 11.'
  609. -- Linus Torvalds
  610. %
  611. Q: Would you like to see the WINE list?
  612. A: What's on it, anything expensive?
  613. Q: No, just Solitaire and MineSweeper for now, but the WINE is free.
  614. -- Kevin M. Bealer, about the WINdows Emulator
  615. %
  616. So in the future, one 'client' at a time or you'll be spending CPU time with
  617. lots of little 'child processes'.
  618. -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd
  619. %
  620. By the way, I can hardly feel sorry for you... All last night I had to listen
  621. to her tears, so great they were redirected to a stream. What? Of _course_
  622. you didn't know. You and your little group no longer have any permissions
  623. around here. She changed her .lock files, too.
  624. -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the private life of a Linux nerd
  625. %
  626. We should start referring to processes which run in the background by their
  627. correct technical name... paenguins.
  628. -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
  629. %
  630. We can use symlinks of course... syslogd would be a symlink to syslogp and
  631. ftpd and ircd would be linked to ftpp and ircp... and of course the
  632. point-to-point protocal paenguin.
  633. -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
  634. %
  635. This is a logical analogy too... anyone who's been around, knows the world is
  636. run by paenguins. Always a paenguin behind the curtain, really getting things
  637. done. And paenguins in politics--who can deny it?
  638. -- Kevin M. Bealer, commenting on the penguin Linux logo
  639. %
  640. Linux: Where Don't We Want To Go Today?
  641. -- Submitted by Pancrazio De Mauro, paraphrasing some well-known sales talk
  642. %
  643. The most important design issue... is the fact that Linux is supposed to
  644. be fun...
  645. -- Linus Torvalds at the First Dutch International Symposium on Linux
  646. %
  647. In short, at least give the penguin a fair viewing. If you still don't
  648. like it, that's ok: that's why I'm boss. I simply know better than you do.
  649. -- Linus "what, me arrogant?" Torvalds, on c.o.l.advocacy
  650. %
  651. <SomeLamer> what's the difference between chattr and chmod?
  652. <SomeGuru> SomeLamer: man chattr > 1; man chmod > 2; diff -u 1 2 | less
  653. -- Seen on #linux on irc
  654. %
  655. The linuX Files -- The Source is Out There.
  656. -- Sent in by Craig S. Bell, goat@aracnet.com
  657. %
  658. "... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited
  659. by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when
  660. you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new
  661. turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily
  662. removed the floor under your bed." - Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition
  663. -- found in the .sig of Rob Riggs, rriggs@tesser.com
  664. %
  665. C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success
  666. -- Dennis M. Ritchie
  667. %
  668. If Bill Gates is the Devil then Linus Torvalds must be the Messiah.
  669. -- Unknown source
  670. %
  671. Vini, vidi, Linux!
  672. -- Unknown source
  673. %
  674. The good thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.
  675. -- Andrew S. Tanenbaum
  676. %
  677. I'm telling you that the kernel is stable not because it's a kernel,
  678. but because I refuse to listen to arguments like this.
  679. -- Linus Torvalds
  680. %
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