Uh-hmmm

Cold Edge Anon Part 11

May 7th, 2014
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  1. > You frown.
  2. "It still seems really inefficient."
  3. > Frozen looks at you with hooded eyes.
  4. "I see nothing wrong with it. "
  5. "It just seems like the growth would be so staggered across the fields that harvest would be impractical on a large scale."
  6. > Sharkbra rubs his chin.
  7. "If it were possible, many couples would expedite the process. There may be difficulty in hiring couples to cooperate in this venture."
  8. > Maud blinks.
  9. "I offer my services in that regard."
  10. > Does she mean...
  11. > Frozen gives her a curious glance.
  12. "With which one, or will you provide your own stallion?"
  13. > Maud looks at you for a long moment, then at Peeping Tombra for a similar time.
  14. "Either one is fine."
  15. > sweatragman.png
  16. > Obi Som kenobra clears his throat, blushing slightly.
  17. "Do ye then intend to reside here until the planting is complete?"
  18. > Maud nods.
  19. "There is much to research here."
  20. > She stands up.
  21. "I'm going to get my things."
  22. > She walks off, and taps on the air, which resolves into a startled Discord.
  23. > She speaks a few words, and they disappear.
  24. > Insombria turns to you, a little wide around the eyes.
  25. "Hath thou ever seen such a maiden? Such forwardness, yet admirable composure, yea and her command be irresistible to malekind!"
  26. > You glance at Frozen Hart, who is looking at you testily.
  27. "Such qualities are rare; thus it behooves us to appreciate our good fortune should we find them."
  28. > You entwine one of your hooves with the snowpone's, to her satisfaction.
  29. > +1 to diplomacy
  30. > Once Maud returns, you all go on a tour of the capitol city of the Kingdom of the Shard, which is actually pretty boring once you get uses to the skull and cat motif.
  31. > Maud seems... Interested? Bored? Well, she isn't objecting.
  32. > You follow along, getting used to the background awareness you have of all this crystal you helped make.
  33. > When it was small things, like carriages or mugs, it was not enough to really intrude on your conscious mind.
  34. > Now, you have the entire kingdom, capitol and satellite towns in the back of your mind.
  35. > On the plus side, you can't get lost here.
  36. > On the other hand, when your mind would normally wander, now it examines the limited input of all that crystal for aberrations.
  37. > That might come in handy later, but for now, it's irritating.
  38. > Maud decides on a room overlooking the south field and road, and goes about putting all her things away.
  39. > You figure this will take a while, and go to see if you can't get a teleport to Ponyville to get some groceries.
  40. > You find Discord in a small courtyards staring moodily into a fire that apparently doesn't need fuel.
  41. "You alright there?"
  42. > He walks through the fire, then resumes his previous position, none the worse for wear.
  43. "You know how I was trapped in stone for a thousand years?"
  44. "...Yes?"
  45. > Discord turns to you, a haunted look in his eyes.
  46. "She can smell that."
  47. > You aren't sure you want to know.
  48. > Well, maybe a little.
  49. "That's bad?"
  50. > Discord shudders.
  51. "She is nearly a living embodiment of stone, and [i] she has my scent![/i]"
  52. > Okay, you can see how that could be scary. That, and you're pretty sure Maud was a golem in her past life.
  53. "How does a trip to Ponyville sound, then? It'll be nice and far away."
  54. > Discord inhales deeply, then nods.
  55. > Space goes Charlie Bucket and you are in the treebrary again.
  56.  
  57. "Waaah!"
  58. > You hear the this of books falling behind you.
  59. > You and Frozen turn to see Spike sprawled on the ground, a handful of books scattered around him.
  60. > Well, let's get introductions/screams out of the way.
  61. "Hello, I am Anonymous and this is Frozen Hart, we're just picking up my bits, and then we'll be going grocery shopping."
  62. > Spike warily gets back to his feet.
  63. "Y-you're the tigerpony Twilight was talking about!"
  64. "Got it in one! Now, if you'll excise me, I'll be getting those bits I was talking about."
  65. > As you trot over to where you left your bits, you see that your strategy worked.
  66. > Spike is picking up the books while keeping a cautious eye on you.
  67. > You levitate the ice jar of money onto your back, and nod as you pass by him again.
  68. > He waves bemusedly as you and Frozen go out the front door.
  69. > You are once again greeted by screams, why do you always forget about how ponies react to you?
  70. > This'll make grocery shopping difficult.
  71. > Unless you can send Frozen in your place?
  72. > You turn to her, about to suggest just that, then you stop.
  73. > It seems that she isn't handling the summer heat all that well.
  74. > You search the sky for a nearby cloud, snag it, then bring it over what you guess is now your wife.
  75. > With some prodding, the cloud begins to snow, and Frozen perks up almost immediately.
  76. "So that's why you didn't come down from the north to feed on all this warmth!"
  77. > She tilts her head at you.
  78. "I do not feed."
  79. "Then... why did you try to freeze me when we first met?"
  80. "It is uncomfortable to have warm things around. I thought you were a warm thing."
  81. > You know, you're not sure what your body temperature is.
  82. > Cold, you guess. Funny how no one mentioned it before.
  83. > Although, if one pony in a snowstorm is warm enough to make her uncomfortable, what about now?
  84. "Are you really uncomfortable now? Should I get Discord to take you back up north?"
  85. > She shakes her head.
  86. "It is bearable with you. Always."
  87. > You are touched by her devotion, and wrap her in a hug.
  88. > She gingerly hugs you back, still unused to spontaneous acts of affection after hundreds of years of only being able to touch frozen ponies.
  89. > After a bit, you pull back, and resume the stroll to the market.
  90. > You wonder...
  91. "Why is warmth uncomfortable to you anyhow?"
  92. > She looks at you with her fathomless grey eyes and says,
  93. "I remember a void, with no light, no warmth, no land nor sea nor sky. Just vast emptiness, space and space within space all empty, pockets and folds and lines of nothing. That is my source."
  94. > Sometimes you forget that this place has reincarnated eldritch horrors, but then things like this come up and make you momentarily give up on making sense of the greater cosmos.
  95. "I see."
  96. > She shakes her head.
  97. "You don't. But you will."
  98.  
  99. > Is this like... meeting her parents? Only, you know, eldritch horror style?
  100. > You decide not to pursue the topic, in case you get an answer.
  101. > Instead, you turn your mind to your current problem, which is how to buy groceries from ponies that run away at the sight of you.
  102. > You don't much like the idea of full body dye again; you suspect it is inherently doomed to failure. Maybe a disguise? That seems flawed too.
  103. > If only there was someone with free time, who wasn't scared of you.
  104. > ... You glance at Frozen. You hope they'll get along.
  105. > As you cause a minor riot on the way to Sugarcube Corner, you start seriously thinking about getting a robe, or at least a blanket.
  106. > The inside is predictably deserted hah, and desserted. You call out,
  107. "Hello, I'm looking for Pinkie Pie. Is she here?"
  108. > A shaky voice responds from behind the counter.
  109. "Sh-she's not here, she's a-at F-f-fluttershy's. Don't eat me!"
  110. > You... aren't sure where that is.
  111. "Could you give me directions? I don't know where that is."
  112. > The voice behind the counter starts hyperventilating.
  113. > You sigh.
  114. "Right then, I'll just be going."
  115. > You step back out into the now empty streets.
  116. > Fluttershy's cottage is near the Everfree, right?
  117. > You look around, but it's too far away to be seen.
  118. > Just then a voice cries out,
  119. "And just what are you doing with that cloud?"
  120. > You look up and it's the unfriendly neighborhood Fastblue.
  121. "It's for my wife. She isn't used to the lower elevation."
  122. "Your wife?"
  123. > Rainbow Dash drops down to the ground.
  124. > She sees Frozen, and becomes about 20% less hostile.
  125. "Rainbow Dash, this is Frozen Hart. Frozen Hart, Rainbow Dash."
  126. > Frozen nods.
  127. > Fastblue nods back uncertainly.
  128. "Nice to meet you. Um, Tigerpony, what are you doing back in Ponyville? I thought you were doing kingdom stuff with Discord or whatever."
  129. "Oh, I'm still doing that. I just came to pick up some groceries so Maud and the others will have something to eat."
  130. "Oh, Maud's there? Sounds like snoozeville, count me out."
  131. > Were you going to go otherwise?
  132. "Right. Say, could you point us towards Fluttershy's cottage? We sorta need Pinkie to do the actual shopping."
  133. "Cuz you're too lazy?"
  134. > That sounded like somewhere between an insult and a tease. Looks like she's slowly coming around.
  135. > You gesture at the empty street.
  136. "No, because everypony is terrified of me."
  137. "Oh yeah. Tell you what, I'll take you to Fluttershy's myself. Never fear, your friendly neighborhood tour guide is here!"
  138. > She drops to the ground and starts walking.
  139. > You chuckle and follow.
  140. > The three of you reach the edge of town fairly quickly. From now on, it's just one long dirt road.
  141. > Rainbow drops back to walk by Frozen.
  142. "So... you and him, huh?"
  143. > The snowpone nods.
  144. > Rainbow walks in silence for a bit, then says,
  145. "Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not one of those nosy mares who love to gossip. I'm only asking cuz he's a fr- a pretty weird looking stallion. How long have you guys been married?"
  146. > Frozen pretends to count, then says,
  147. "A few hours."
  148. > Rainbow glances at you, then continues.
  149. "Congratulations, I guess. And how long did you two date?"
  150. > Frozen smiles brightly.
  151. "Twenty four hours."
  152. > Rainbow Dash stops dead in her tracks, slack-jawed.
  153. > You and Frozen keep walking, you can see the Everfree on the horizon.
  154. > Dash catches up quickly and leads you to the side of the road.
  155. > She smiles briefly at Frozen, then scowls at you.
  156. "Are you kidding me? She's too young and impressionable to take this seriously. You should be ashamed of yourself, rushing in like this!"
  157. > You hold up a hoof to signal 'hold on'
  158. "First of all, she's older than me."
  159. "Okay..."
  160. "Second, I've known her for half of my life on Equestria."
  161. "I guess that's not /so/ bad."
  162. "And third, she was the one who proposed to me."
  163. > Rainbow smiled a bit at that.
  164. > Then a thought occurred to her.
  165. "How long exactly have you two known each other?"
  166. > You can't resist.
  167. "One day and a few hours."
  168. > Rainbow glares at you in confusion, which turns to angry realization.
  169. "So Twilight wasn't just using a figure of speech when she said you just came out of nowhere!"
  170. > She narrows her eyes at you.
  171. "Just how old is she?"
  172. > You open your mouth to respond, but then you realize that you don't actually know.
  173. > You turn towards your wife.
  174. "Frozen, Rainbow Dash wants to know how old you are."
  175. > Frozen raises her head haughtily.
  176. "Old enough for that question to be insulting."
  177. > You turn back to Rainbow.
  178. "Well there you go, you just insulted my wife."
  179. > She just rolls her eyes and sighs in exasperation.
  180. "Fine, fine, you two weirdos are clearly made for each other."
  181. > Fluttershy's cottage comes into view, covered in confetti, with a banner out from saying,
  182. "Happy Birthday Angel!!!"
  183. > On a table outside, the rabbit in question is devouring the second of the three cake slices that were put before him.
  184. > There is a whole warren of rabbits crowding the rest of the seating, and Pinkie Pie is working double time to keep everyone's plate full.
  185. > Fluttershy starts to wave at Rainbow Dash, then freezes at the sight of you.
  186. > A panicked squeak escapes her mouth, and she runs inside in a flash.
  187. > As one the rabbits turn to you, murder in their eyes.
  188. > You sigh.
  189. > The rabbits charge, and you encase yourself and Frozen in a thick ice bubble and levitate about nine feet off the ground, just to be safe.
  190. > The rabbits mill about below you, and one will occasionally try to jump up to get at your bubble, and miss by at least a few feet.
  191. > You look at Rainbow Dash, who has settled down in a cloud to watch.
  192. > She props up her head with a hoof, and just looks straight back.
  193. > Pinkie Pie is serruptitiously taking bites out of the remains of the birthday cake.
  194. > You sigh again, and pluck Angel out of the throng.
  195. "Look buddy, just chill."
  196. > Frozen looks at you hopefully, but you shake your head at her.
  197. "Figuratively. Alright, here's the deal. I'm here to talk to Pinkie Pie."
  198. > She stops, about to take a bite out of the cake, and grins sheepishly.
  199. > You continue.
  200. "I can wait until after the party. I have no intentions towards Fluttershy, ill or otherwise. Okay?"
  201. > The bunny is nonplussed, but nods.
  202. > You set him down, and the bunnies return to the table.
  203. > Crisis passed, you descend to the ground and dismiss your bubble.
  204. > Pinkie sidles up next to you.
  205. "Hey there anony-noony-nanny, what do you say we move on before the crowd turns on us?"
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