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  1. ***************************** DISCLAIMERS *****************************
  2. SAVE PAPER. Good for your planet. Good for your Business. Please
  3. consider Environment before printing this Email. Also: Plant trees!
  4.  
  5. This e-mail message is intended solely for the person to whom it is
  6. addressed and may contain confidential or privileged information. If
  7. you have received it in error, please notify us immediately and
  8. destroy this e-mail and any attachments. In addition, you must not
  9. disclose, copy, distribute or take any action in reliance on this
  10. e-mail or any attachments.
  11.  
  12. Any views or opinions presented in this e-mail are solely those of the
  13. author and do not necessarily represent those of the university.
  14. E-mail may be susceptible to data corruption, interception,
  15. unauthorised amendment, viruses and unforeseen delays, and we do not
  16. accept liability for any such data corruption, interception,
  17. unauthorised amendment, viruses and delays or the consequences
  18. thereof. Accordingly, this e-mail and any attachments are opened at
  19. your own risk.
  20. ***************************** DISCLAIMERS *****************************
  21. 
  22. A REALLY NEAT .SIGNATURE FOLLOWS, PRESS "NO" IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE IT !!!111
  23.  
  24. ^ L
  25.  
  26. .SIGNATURE UNDER CONSTRUCTION....... LAST REVISED 5/12/1990 11:02:32 PM
  27. AND ALSO LAST REVISED 5/22/90 11:27:59 PM
  28. AND 8/22/1990 10:03:16 PM TOO
  29. AND 8/25/90 01:57:08 PM
  30. AND 11/11/90 12:35:53 AM <-- LAST TIME!!
  31. (WOW, FOUR 1'S IN A ROW!!!!)
  32. AND 7/8/91 2:06:03 AM <-- LATE NIGHT!!
  33. AND 9/6/91 2:51:26AM <--- LATER!!!
  34. AND 2/9/91^H^H92 4:25:43AM <--- WOW!!!!
  35. AND 7/8/92 1:58:59AM <-- CALL IT 2!!!
  36. AND 7/31/92 1:27:49AM <-- JUST FOR ONE NEW LINE!!!!
  37. NOT COUNTING THE ABOVE ONE OF COURSE!!!!!!!!
  38. AND 12:58:53 9/11/92 FOR ONE MORE!!! NOW IT'S DONE!!!!
  39. AND 9/25/92 1:24:33AM <-- AGAIN!!!
  40. AND 9.29.92 2L37L48AM
  41. AND 10/6/92 3:18:31AM <-- LATE BEDTIME HUH !!!!
  42. AND 3/8/93 2:23:38AM <--- LAST TIME REALLY!!!!!
  43. AND 4/5/94 9:00:58AM ! I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT FIXING ALL THE TYPOS !!!!
  44. COPYRIGHT (C) COPYR.1988,1990,1989,1992,1993,1994
  45. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
  46. TODOS LOS DERECHOS RESERVADOS!!!
  47. THIS POSTING MAY NOT BE REPORDUCED IN ANY
  48. FORM WITHOUT MY WRITTEN PERMISSION
  49. OR SOLD FOR MONETARY FINANCIAL PROFIT.
  50. AND 6/13/92 3:45:26PM <-- FRI THE 13TH !!!
  51. & 5/5/94 4:52AM <-- CINCO DE MAY-O !!!!
  52.  
  53. I WROTE IT ALL BY MYSELF BUT THANKS TO MARK AND JASON DOMINUS, AND TO MATHEW
  54. WHOSE LAST NAME I FORGOT!!! AND ALL THOSE AUSSIES NAMED "IAIN"!!!
  55.  
  56. I DIDN'T MAKE ANY SPELLING ERRERS SO
  57. YOU CAN'T POST THIS SIGNATURE TO
  58. ALT.FAN.WARLORD!!!!!
  59.  
  60. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  61. ^L
  62. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN.
  63. ___
  64. /(()\
  65. \__\|
  66.  
  67. THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON THE INTERNET.
  68. ___ +-----+
  69. /(()\ | VAX |
  70. \__\|===+_____+
  71. ^L
  72. ____
  73. / \__
  74. |\ / @ \
  75. \ \_______| \ .:|> "Dogs aren't ALLOWED? WAAAAAAH!"
  76. \ ##| | \__/
  77. | ####\__/ \ -- Spot
  78. / / ## \|
  79. / /__________\ \ "On Usenet nobody knows you're a god!"
  80. L_JJ \__JJ -- Jerry Garcia
  81.  
  82.  
  83. S C R A T C H A N D S N I F F
  84.  
  85. to enjoy the aromatic aroma of beautiful downtown schenectady !!!!
  86. _____________________________________________________________________________
  87. james "kibo" parry, at an undisclosed location in a major city (not schenectady.
  88. kibo@prodigy.ibm.COM _________________________________________________
  89. kibo@world.COM@uunet.COM / Kibology / Anything I say is my opinion,
  90. kibo@world.BITNET@bitnet.COM is better! / and is the opposite of Xibo's.
  91. __________________________/_____________/_____________________________________
  92. "All colors are arbitrary." --Carl Sagan / Bozos use anything but emacs!
  93. __________________________________________/___________________________________
  94. Wacky, wild, Kibo style! / You're allowed. (Unless you don't want to be...
  95. ________________________/_ you are also allowed to not be allowed.) _________
  96. I never said I wasn't a bozo. /____________________________________/_Hi mom!_
  97. _____________________________/ Life is silly but should be taken seriously.
  98. Some days you / Klods * / TV is evil and should be destroyed. Really.
  99. just can't get / for /__________________________________________________
  100. rid of a bomb. / klods / Moisten needle before inserting Taiwan. / 298R
  101. ______________/_________/__________________________________________/_________
  102. * Note: "Klods for Klods" is the motto of Lego(tm) blocks in Lego's native
  103. Denmark, where they speak Danish. It means "Block by block". Neat, huh????
  104. _____________________________________________________________________________
  105. You're reading my .signature file. / COMMODORE 64S RULE THE WORLD !!!!!!!!!
  106. ___________________________________/_________________________________________
  107. "I'm Bozo, the world's most famous clown!" -- the world's most famous clown
  108. _____________________________________________________________________________
  109. M E N S A M E M B E R # 1 6 3 0 9 Look for the white pin
  110. _____________________________________________________________________________
  111. I've read all of Kurt Vonnegut Junior's books and my favorite is "Breakfast
  112. Of Champions", my second favorite is "Chariots Of The Gods". I love them all.
  113. My other favorite author is Philip K. Dick who wrote "Do Androids Dream Of
  114. Sheep?", "Clams Of The Alphane Moon", "OBIK", "Man In The Castle", and "Total
  115. Recall"! Oh, and Stephen King is absolutely the best too! And Derrida!
  116. Read "The Fountain Head" by Ann Rand--it could change your career!
  117. _____________________________________________________________________________
  118. If it doesn't say PURINA, / / Bart Simpson and Charlie
  119. bury it in the yard! / BYTE ME! / Brown are both GIRLS!
  120. ________________________/_____________________/______________________________
  121. THIS ENTIRE MESSAGE IS COPYRIGHTED (C)1989/90 MCMLXXXIX/MCMLXL BY JAMES "KIBO"
  122. PARRY AND MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, SOLD, READ, PRINTED, OR REPLIED TO WITHOUT
  123. MY EXPRESS WRITTEN PERMISSION. HE IS SERIOUS AND WILL SUE YOUR PANTS OFF.
  124. _____________________________________________________________________________D
  125. || _______________________________________________________________________ ||I
  126. || || || ||S
  127. || ||------> I'M NOT BIFF !!!!!! HE'S NOT ME !!!!!!! <------|| ||C
  128. ++-++-------------------------------------------------------------------++-+|L
  129. || ||------> BIFF IS TOO OBNOXIOUS TO BE ME !!!!!!!! <------|| ||A
  130. || ||------> ALSO HIS .SIGNATURE IS LONGER !!!!!!!!! <------|| ||I
  131. || ||___________________________________________________________________|| ||M
  132. ||_________________________________________________________________________||E
  133. _____________________________________________________________________________R
  134. "BOZE NOSE BOOKS!" -- Bozo, The World's Most Famous Clown / QUAIL SUCKS
  135. __________________________________________________________/__________________
  136. /
  137. Orwell was an optimist. / "There is infinite hope, but not for us." - Kafka
  138. ________________________/____________________________________________________
  139. Join the Kibo Fan Club! Send lots of money to the address above, RIGHT NOW!
  140. _____________________________________________________________________________
  141. All generalizations stink. / Kibology is *NOT* Satanism! / Ollie for prez
  142. ___________________________/_______________________________/_________________
  143. DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY! / What's fahefergnugen? / QUAIL STILL SUCKS! ! !
  144. _______________________/__________________________/__________________________
  145. "The secret word is... SIL! Now you all know what to do whenever anybody
  146. says the secret word, right? SCREAM REAL LOUD!" -- Pee Wee Herman
  147. _____________________________________________________________________________
  148. If I said anything to offend anyone in this message, I'm sorry and didn't
  149. mean to hurt your feelings. ________________________________________________
  150. ____________________________/ "Losing our marbles for the last 23 years"
  151. I hope you're enjoying / I'm gonna be 24 soon! My birthday is July 13,
  152. reading this posting... / send presents! The day before Bastille Day!
  153. _________________________/___________________________________________________
  154. If Lambada is the forbidden dance, why did they make a movie about it?
  155. _____________________________________________________________________________
  156. Hi Tale@Rpi.Edu! / You are here X / What's Peewee Herman's favorite
  157. _________________/___________________/ baseball team? THE EXPOS!
  158. Garrison Keillor is my hero / (rec.humor.funny)
  159. ___________________________________/_________________________________________
  160. "Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here!" -- STAR TREK
  161. _____________________________________________________________________________
  162. "SIL!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  163. _____________________________________________________________________________
  164. There's a mouse in my apartment right now while I'm typing this. Isn't
  165. that an incredible coincidence! Have you ever been using this bboard while
  166. a mouse was in your room. Now I have.........?
  167. _____________________________________________________________________________
  168. Anyone who thinks anyone else should be shot should be shot; the NRA is a
  169. bunch of bozos just like the Democrats AND Republicans AND Williard Scott.
  170. Kill the Fascists and Communists and all the other nuts too. Kill 'em all!
  171. _____________________________________________________________________________
  172. "I'm Batman!" -- BATMAN THE MOVIE / This space intentionally left blank.
  173. (THE BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD!!!!) /
  174. __________________________________/__________________________________________
  175. Elvis lives. / "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..." --MONTY PYTHON / Hug me
  176. _____________/_____________________________________________________/_________
  177. Did I spell anything wrong? If so, please tell me so I can post a correction.
  178. _____________________________________________________________________________
  179. |\ My favorite PostScript font is Chicago! Times Roman is just a cheap
  180. --- \ ripoff of the real New York. And you don't even have to be in Chicago
  181. ___ / to use Chicago! I printed my whole resume in 36pt Chicago Bold Shadow!
  182. __|/_________________________________________________________________________
  183. | "Beauty and the Beast" may be cancelled, but it lives on forever in our |
  184. | hearts and minds and hearts! It will live forever even though it's dead!|
  185. |___________________________________________________________________________|
  186. Can I have a cookie? / The Kibology Center is a non-non-profit arm of the
  187. _____________________/ National Association for Kibological Awareness(NAKA).
  188. I'M 100% FLAMEPROOF /________________________________________________________
  189. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
  190.  
  191. Harry Graber, age 11, is dying of a fatal disease which will eventually kill
  192. him. Before he dies, he would like to be in the "Guinness" Book of "Records"
  193. for receiving the most postcards in the mail. Please send him lots of
  194. postcards at the below address:
  195.  
  196. Kibo, PO Box 722, Boston MA 02116-0722 (USA)
  197.  
  198. Although he is very ill and only barely clinging to life, he gets thousands
  199. of postcards a day from people like you. He writes back, personally, to
  200. each and every single one. Amazingly, everyone who writes to Harry recieves
  201. a year of good luck afterwards! Mrs. Bertha Briggs of Poughkeepsie, NY
  202. recently wrote to Harry and then won the lottery the very next day--AND her
  203. dog was cured of cancer! Plus, if you write now, Harry will send you
  204. his miracle POSTCARD DIET which will allow you to lose 100 pounds a week!
  205.  
  206. THIS IS NOT A SCAM!
  207. This service is FREE!
  208. Please enclose $14.95 for postage and handling.
  209.  
  210. %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
  211.  
  212. HANDY "TWIN PEEKS" CHART [murder]<-->[LAURA]<--/-->[Bob]<--["Bob"]
  213. | ^ | ^
  214. This is fun to read even if you haven't v v v |
  215. seen the series. I like my chart, and [David [That FBI guy] ["J.R."]
  216. I've never seen the show! Lynch] ^ ^
  217. / | |
  218. v [donuts] [Bobby in
  219. [the log lady]<->[flouridation]-->["Eraserheads"] = the shower]
  220. ^ ^ [sex] |
  221. | | /->[Monty Python's Flying Circles] v
  222. [bag [lumber- /->[Ted Bundy]
  223. ladies] jacks]<--["RoboJox"]<->[VW]<->[FOX]-->[Al&Peg Bundy]
  224. ^ | ^ \->[Children]
  225. | v |
  226. [the dog-faced boy]-->[Laura's<-/->[the Simpsons]<--[Life in Hell]<--[UseNet]
  227. evil twin] |
  228. v
  229. And remember, the name of the show is a breast metaphor. [alt.tv.twin.peeks]
  230. ^ ^ | ^
  231. / | v |
  232. [Mike Douglas]=[Douglas firs]-->[breasts] [drumsticks] [rmgroups] /->[logs]
  233. | \______________________________________/ ^
  234. v |
  235. [Albert]<--/-->[furry white rats]-->[green rats]-->[traffic [the log lady]
  236. ^ lights] (here too!)
  237. | [walk with fire me]---> ^ ^
  238. [Layland]<-->[Pinky Lee] | |
  239. | [Herve Villachaise]<--[tattoos] ["Bob"]
  240. [Dilbert]-->[Dogbert] | |
  241. \ v v
  242. >[neckties]->[sexual arousal]<------>[e-meters]<-------[L. Ron Howard]
  243. _____________________________________________________________________________
  244. My favroite sci-fi/fantasy short story is / VOTE NIXON / The SubGenius
  245. "The Eye of Argon" by L. Ron Hubbard! / IN 1992 / must wear slacks!
  246. _________________________________________/______________/____________________
  247. Best Skeleton Joke Ever: "What do you call fish bones?" "Skele-tuna!" :-)
  248. _____________________________________________________________________________
  249. I spell things the way I want, since William Safire is too wimpy to stop me!
  250. _____________________________________________________________________________
  251. "The medium is the message!" -- Marshall Mike Luhan / I'm a lumberjack...
  252. _____________________________________________________/_______________________
  253. I know the Green Golfball Joke! I'd post it here but BitNet doesn't allow
  254. R-rated jokes to be posted here so I won't post it! That's a violation of
  255. your unconstitutional rights and you should complain to your sysop!
  256. _____________________________________________________________________________
  257. MY TETRIS HIGH SCORE ON MY NINTENDO IS 999,990 -- THAT'S A WORLD RECORD!
  258. I HAVE PHOTOS OF THE TV SCREEN TO PROVE IT! THEY DIDN'T COME OUT THOUGH.
  259. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  260. \\\\\\\\\\
  261. \\\\\\\\\\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
  262. \\\\\\\\\\ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/
  263. \\\\\\\\\\
  264. \\\\\\\\\\ AMIGA ONLY! \\ \\ \\ \\ \\ \\
  265. \\\\\\\\\\ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/ \\/
  266. \\\\\\\\\\ ___
  267. \\\\\\\\\\ /. .\
  268. \\\\\\\\\\ |\_/|
  269. \\\\\\\\\\ \___/
  270. \\\\\\\\\\ /####\ /######\ ### /##### /######\
  271. \\\\\\\\\\ ## ## ## ## ## ### ## ## ##
  272. \\\\\\\\\\ ## ## ## ## ## ### ## ### ## ##
  273. \\\\\\\\\\ ////////###### ## ## ## ### ## ### ########
  274. \\\\\\\\\\ //////// ## ## ## ## ## ### \##### ## ##
  275. \\\\\\\\\\ ////////
  276. \\\\\\\\\\ //////// /##### ### ### #####\ ### ###
  277. \\\\\\\\\//////// ## ## ## ## ## ## ## GRAFIX
  278. \\\\\\\//////// ## ### ## ## ######\ ## ##
  279. \\\\\//////// ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## WIZARD
  280. \\\//////// \##### \#######/ ## ## \#####/
  281. _____________________________________________________________________________
  282. _______________ | __ _ ____
  283. / \ |\/\/\/| r | |\\ | | \ / ,__\ AIR SUPPLY
  284. | "Have a cow, |__ | @ @ | a | ||\\ | |_/ \ | _ _ |
  285. | man!" / | ' | d | || \\ | | \ \\ | | |\ |\ | \ /
  286. \_______________/ | \___/ i | ||__\\ \ \\ | | |/ |/ | |
  287. | | c d | ||___\\ \ \\ \_/ | | |__ |
  288. a u | || \\ \\__// | | |
  289. as seen on BART l d | \__/
  290. FOX! SIMPSON e | THE MOST AWESOME HEAVY METAL BAND !!!
  291. _____________________________________|_______________________________________
  292. ^L
  293. ^L
  294. # # #### # # # ##### ######
  295. # # # ,, # # # # # # #
  296. # # # # # # # # # #####
  297. # #\__/# # # ##### #
  298. # # # # # # # #
  299. # #### #### # # ######
  300.  
  301. ## # # #### # # ###### #### ##
  302. # # # # # oo # # # # # # ##
  303. # # # # # # # # ##### # # ##
  304. ###### # # #\__/# # ## # # # # ##
  305. # # # # # # ## ## # # #
  306. # # ###### ###### #### # # ###### #### ##
  307.  
  308. HAVE A NICE DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  309.  
  310. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  311. PLEASE POST YOUR REPLIES TO THIS BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY NET ADDRESS IS!
  312. ALSO PLEASE CROSS-POST TO LOTS OF GROUPS SINCE IT MIGHT NOT BE A GROUP I READ!
  313.  
  314. []---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]
  315.  
  316.  
  317.  
  318.  
  319.  
  320. This blank region of empty space is a hollow void that adds lines to the
  321. length of this .signature's physical size.
  322.  
  323.  
  324. I cant think of anything more to add!
  325.  
  326.  
  327. []---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]---[]
  328. ***** ___ ___ _________
  329. * / \ / \ | _______ |
  330. * | V | | | * * | | HELP ME NAME MY
  331. * \ / | |_____| | APPLE SE/30 WITH
  332. * \ / | === | 40MB MEGABYTE DRIVE
  333. * \ / |_________|
  334. ***** v |||||||||
  335.  
  336. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  337.  
  338. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- Aren't these cute?
  339. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- I was the one who
  340. :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) <--- invented them.
  341.  
  342. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  343. |\
  344. ---*-- | \ TED FRANK IS A VIRTUAL LAWYER!!!
  345. -""" \__| \
  346. / : Qld : TAS \
  347. / :........ \
  348. ' SA : AA :.......*| x = Schenectady NY USA
  349. \ : * :NSW /
  350. \* :/""""""\`..x */
  351. ----' VIC\ *`./
  352. """"
  353. \"""/
  354. NT\*/
  355.  
  356. Dan Quayle is Howdy Doody! (And Susan Sontag is the Bride of Frankenstein!)
  357. +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
  358. | S T O P C A S T I N G P O R O S I T Y |
  359. +____________________________________________________________________________+
  360. Did you know that in German, Usenet bboards are called Gruppenareabrettecholistennetzs?
  361. =============================================================================
  362. I've been to Cheers(TM) in downtown Boston and I have a T-Shirt that says
  363. Cheers(TM) and the official Cheers(TM) Plastic Souvenir Shopping Bag!
  364. Hey, is Ted Danson really as bald as they say? He couldn't be, his hair's
  365. fluffy, and wigs can't be fluffy! William Shatner wears a toupee though,
  366. I bet you didn't know that! I hope I never go bald. I'd lose my sex appeal.
  367. _____________________________________________________________________________
  368. Fats Loves Madelyn. / Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."
  369. ___________________/_________________________________________________________
  370. "We're like gerbils. We're in a cage running around and around."
  371. -- Tom Brokaw
  372. _____________________________________________________________________________
  373. "OH WHAT A ZINGER!!!" -- CHRIS ELIOT / "Married With Children" is the best
  374. GET A LIFE / TV show ever! Ted is the greatest!
  375. _____________________________________/_______________________________________
  376. Fly KLM! / Did you hear that PeeWee Herman was arrested for masterbating?
  377. __________/____ Really!______________________________________________________
  378. Dana Hersey is Willie Whistle in addition to hosting The Movie Loft (channel 6)
  379. _____________________________________________________________________________
  380. Read alt.exploding.kibo, the group about exploding kibo! / NO FATE
  381. ________________________________________________________/
  382. I put microwave coffee in the Tater Twister and almost / KNOW FUTURE
  383. went back in time! -- Steven Wright (Emerson alumnus)/
  384. _____________________________________________________/ NO DOGS ALLOWED
  385. "NOT!" -- WAYNE'S WORLD / "The Stevemeisterooski!" /
  386. ________________________/__________________________/_________POOR SPOT______
  387.  
  388. "If I had MY OWN NETWORK, it would be on ALL the TIME. It would be EDUCATIONAL,
  389. like COSMOS and NOVA, but not so DRY. It would best be seen on HIGH-definition
  390. TELEVISION. And every DAY we'd READ from the BOOK of CHER, because when you
  391. READ from the BOOK of CHER, it doesn't MATTER if you UNDERSTAND... it's the ACT
  392. that MATTERS. MY network would be METAphysical, paraNORMAL, and EXTRAORDINARILY
  393. ORDINARY. It would COMPEL you to RELAX and read `MADAME BOVARY', LOOK into the
  394. MOUTHS of VOLCANOES and LEARN to make RISOTTO... It would have a LINEAR BUILD
  395. and ARISTOTELIAN LINES... MY network would be both JARRING and AVANT-GARDE...
  396. with just a TOUCH of BRIAN DENNEHY. MY network would not promote WAR, WASTE,
  397. DOUBT or ANXIETY, and would pose the question... What was MICHELLE PFEIFFER
  398. doing in `Grease 2'?" -- Sean E. Coates, the "E!" poster child
  399.  
  400. **************************(.signature continued)*******************************
  401.  
  402. HOW MANY POSTS A DAY I MADE LAST WEEK
  403. ***************************************************************************
  404. * *
  405. * *
  406. * *
  407. * *
  408. * *
  409. ** W*T T*W*T T*WT **
  410. * W*T*F M*T* *F * F M* *F M *
  411. * T* * * * * * * * * *
  412. * * * * * M * * * * *
  413. * * * * * * * * * * *
  414. * * * * * * * * * * *
  415. ** * * * * * * * * * **
  416. * M S*S SS S*S S*S *
  417. * * *
  418. * S *
  419. * ^Labor Day ^Sep 14 ^Sep 28 *
  420. * *
  421. * * * * *
  422. 240 -x- 280 0 -y- 15000***************************************************
  423.  
  424. WATCH MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 2000 ON THE COMEDY CHANNEL !!!
  425. *******************************************************************************
  426. MY TEN FAVORITE QUOTES: Broad-mindedness, n.: The result of flattening high-
  427. mindedness out. There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be
  428. burned for an opinion. All the good ones are taken. "Microwave oven? Whaddya
  429. mean, it's a microwave oven? I've been watching Channel 4 on the thing for two
  430. weeks." Murphy was an optimist. Love means having to say you're sorry every
  431. five minutes. No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats --
  432. approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. Get forgiveness now --
  433. tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty. Commitment can be illustrated by a
  434. breakfast of ham and eggs. The chicken was involved, the pig was committed.
  435. You are here ------> * But you're not all there. Kirkland, Illinois, law
  436. forbids bees to fly over the village or through any of its streets. Love and
  437. scandal are the best sweeteners of tea. A clairvoyant is a person, commonly a
  438. woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron --
  439. namely, that he is a blockhead. A multi-day event on public television, used
  440. to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials. Try to get all of
  441. your posthumous medals in advance. The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the
  442. needs of an expanding bureaucracy. The intelligence of any discussion
  443. diminishes with the square of the number of participants. The hearing ear is
  444. always found close to the speaking tongue, a custom whereof the memory of man
  445. runneth not howsomever to the contrary, nohow. Good advice is something a
  446. man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. -- La Rouchefoucauld
  447. Professor Gorden Newell threw another shutout in last week's Chem. Eng. 130
  448. midterm. Once again no student received a single point on his exam. Newell
  449. has now tossed 5 shutouts this quarter. Newell's earned exam average has now
  450. dropped to a phenomenal 30%"Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm
  451. rich." -- "Ali Baba Bunny" [1957, Chuck Jones] Marriage is the only adventure
  452. open to the cowardly. -- Voltaire The First Rule of Program Optimization:
  453. Don't do it. The Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts only!):
  454. Don't do it yet. -- Michael Jackson Goldenstern's Rules: (1) Always hire a
  455. rich attorney (2) Never buy from a rich salesman. The problem ... is that we
  456. have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the
  457. Department of Energy have tried to form oil using other animals; they've
  458. piled thousands of tons of sand and Middle Eastern countries on top of cows,
  459. raccoons, haddock, laboratory rats, etc., but so far all they have managed to
  460. do is run up an enormous bulldozer-rental bill and anger a lot of Middle
  461. Eastern persons. None of the animals turned into oil, although most of the
  462. laboratory rats developed cancer. -- Dave Barry, "Postpetroleum Guzzler" If
  463. a 6600 used paper tape instead of core memory, it would use up tape at about
  464. 30 miles/second. -- Grishman, Assembly Language Programming Peanut Blossoms 4
  465. cups sugar 16 tbsp. milk 4 cups brown sugar 4 tsp. vanilla 4 cups
  466. shortening 14 cups flour 8 eggs 4 tsp. soda 4 cups peanut butter 4 tsp.
  467. salt Shape dough into balls. Roll in sugar and bake on ungreased cookie
  468. sheet at 375 F. for 10-12 minutes. Immediately top each cookie with a
  469. Hershey's kiss or star pressing down firmly to crack cookie. Makes a hell of
  470. a lot. Gyroscope, n.: A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis
  471. and also free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to each
  472. other and the axis of spin so that a rotation of one of the two mutually
  473. perpendicular axes results from application of torque to the other when the
  474. wheel is spinning and so that the entire apparatus offers considerable
  475. opposition depending on the angular momentum to any torque that would change
  476. the direction of the axis of spin. -- Webster's Seventh New Collegiate
  477. Dictionary. In fifteen minutes, everyone will be famous. -- Andy Warhol
  478. _______________________________________________________________________________
  479. THE PHILADELPHIA EXPERIMENT II WAS EVEN MORE TERRIFYING THAN THE FIRST
  480. MOVIE EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T REAL LIKE THE FIRST ONE! PHILLY EX 2 IS THE
  481. BEST MOVIE EVER!!!
  482. .--------------.
  483. .---' o . `---.
  484. .-' . O . . `-.
  485. .-' @@@@@@ . `-.
  486. .'@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ . `.
  487. .'@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ `.
  488. /@@@ o @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@ O \
  489. / @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @ @@@@@@@@@ @@ . \
  490. /@ o @@@@@@@@@@@ . @@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@ \
  491. /@@@ . @@@@@@ o @ @@@@@.@@.@@@@ o @@@@ \
  492. /@@@@@ @ . @@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@ \
  493. |@@@@@ O `.-./ . . @@@@\__/@@@@@ @@@ |
  494. / @@@@@ --`-' o @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@ . \ Full Moon +
  495. |@ @@@@ . @ @ ` @ @@ . @@@@@@ | 0 5:15:36
  496. | @@ o @@ . @@@@@@ | Last Quarter -
  497. | . @ @ @ o @@ o @@@@@@. | 7 3:55:27
  498. \ @ @ @ .-. @@@@ @@@ /
  499. | @ @ @ `-' . @@@@ . . |
  500. \ . o @ @@@@ . @@ . . /
  501. \ @@@ @@@@@@ . o /
  502. \ @@@@@ @@\@@ / O . /
  503. \ o @@@ \ \ / __ . . .--. /
  504. \ . . \.-.--- `--' /
  505. `. `-' . .'
  506. `. o / | ` O . .'
  507. `-. / | o .-'
  508. `-. . . .-'
  509. `---. . .---'
  510. `--------------'
  511.  
  512. I AM NOT A BOZO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  513.  
  514. ^L
  515. 
  516. ____|||||///
  517. / |||||//// TERMINATOR TWO: BEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD !!!!!11
  518. / __ || ////
  519. | L| : === "Hasta la vista, baby!" -- ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
  520. | | __ : ___ =|= (a personal friend)
  521. | (_) :/__) |
  522. |/ | \| <--- THE TERMINATOR
  523. | .\ |
  524. \ \ \ : / I HOPE TERMINATOR THREE DOESN'T SUCK DEAD BUNNIES
  525. | HHH--- | THRU A STRAW LIKE BATMAN TWO !!!!!11
  526. \____:___/
  527.  
  528. "THERE IS NO BATHROOM" -- MY PAL ARNOLD, KINDERGARTEN COP
  529.  
  530. "HELP HELP! STAPLER MISFIRE!" -- DILBERT
  531.  
  532. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::;;;;::::;::::::::::::::
  533.  
  534. My son Herbie, age 7, needs a computer for school and I can't afford
  535. one, would anyone like to give us one? It would be a tax deduction for
  536. you! Herbie wants a Mac IIfx with a Color PostScript printer. He needs
  537. this by next week! All the other kids in his class have them already!!!
  538. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\
  539. \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
  540.  
  541. STAR TREK RULEZ!!! ________^_______ ============= - - - - - - - - -
  542. \______ _____/\ / / - - - - - - -
  543. Write-in to Paramount V \ \_____/__/_ - - - - WHOOSH! - - -
  544. to keep them from killing Spock )|US ENTERPRISE/ - - - - - - -
  545. in their next movie!!!! |____________/ - - - - - - - - - -
  546.  
  547. TOP TEN STAR TREK QUOTES 10) "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic."
  548. 9) "Dammit Jim!" 8) "Spit it out, man!"
  549. 7) "I kinna do it Captain, I have not th' power!"
  550. 6) "Where's the beef?" 5) "They're BORN pregnant!"
  551. 4) "His BRAIN is missing!" "Oh... you noticed."
  552. ** send mail if you want the rest **
  553.  
  554. Majel Barett was only on STAR TREK because she was married to William Shatner.
  555. The new STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION new series that they're making
  556. now is too full of Yuppie bozos. And the special effects are too good.
  557. SHATNER COULDN'T DIRECT HIS WAY OUT OF THE BATHROOM WITH BOTH HANDS AND A MAP!
  558.  
  559. ------------------------------------=-----------------------------------------
  560. I have discovered a truly wonderful proof of Fermat's Last Theorem, but
  561. unfortunately this .signature is too small to contain it.
  562. -----------------------------------=----------------------------------------------
  563. There exist no legitimate audio tapes of me admitting to being
  564. an alien, a government agent, a sexual pervert, or the
  565. camp-follower of little grey men from Zeta Reticuli.
  566.  
  567. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
  568. I watch Nick at Nite all day! Xibo watches stupid soap operas!
  569. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
  570.  
  571. MY .SIGNATURE IS MORE POSTMODERN THAN YOURS! (It's even autographed by
  572. William S. Burroughs. See--->?) /
  573. \/\/. \. Burroughs
  574. /
  575. I wish he hadn't stopped writing those Tarzan books though!!!!
  576.  
  577. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  578. I have an out-of-date copy of each of the following MTS manuals: Vol. 1, 2,
  579. 5, 7, 11, 14, 15, 16, and 24. If you want a copy, I'm selling 'em, $1 each.
  580. I also have lots of plastic bags for five cents each!
  581.  
  582. /\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\_/\
  583. _________
  584. / \
  585. | |
  586. \__\ /__/
  587. --| |--
  588. -| |-
  589. /| |\
  590. /////\\\\\\
  591. NUKE THE DAMN BUNNY ALREADY!!!!
  592. | _
  593. \ /
  594. UU __
  595. ==/ \
  596. /\__o |
  597. *|__\__/
  598. /_ \_ "boomp boomp boomp boomp boomp..." "BOOM!!!!!!!"
  599.  
  600. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  601. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  602.  
  603. ***** ***** ***** **************** ******************
  604. ***** ***** ***** ***************** ********************
  605. ***** ***** ***** ****************** **********************
  606. ***** ***** ***** ***** ****** ****** ******
  607. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  608. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  609. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  610. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  611. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  612. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  613. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  614. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  615. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** My *****
  616. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** name *****
  617. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** is *****
  618. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** short *****
  619. *************** ***** *************** ***** 'cause *****
  620. **************** ***** **************** ***** it's *****
  621. ***************** ***** ***************** ***** only *****
  622. ***** ****** ***** ***** ****** ***** four *****
  623. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** letters! *****
  624. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  625. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  626. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  627. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  628. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  629. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  630. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  631. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  632. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  633. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  634. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  635. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  636. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  637. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  638. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  639. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  640. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  641. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  642. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  643. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  644. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  645. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  646. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  647. ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****
  648. ***** ***** ***** ***** ****** ****** ******
  649. ***** ***** ***** ****************** **********************
  650. ***** ***** ***** ***************** ********************
  651. ***** ***** ***** **************** ******************
  652.  
  653. AND THIS IS THE PART OF THE .SIG THAT BROKE MIKE JITTLOV'S AMIGA!!!
  654.  
  655. V guvax guvf dhbgr ol Qnir Oneel, zl snibevgr jevgre, rkcynvaf jul V
  656. bsgra jrne zl haqrejrne ba zl urnq jura V tb gb jbex:
  657.  
  658. Nyy lbh unir gb qb gb frr gur npphenpl bs zl gurfvf vf ybbx nebhaq
  659. lbh. Ybbx, va cnegvphyne, ng gur crbcyr jub, yvxr lbh, ner znxvat
  660. nirentr vapbzrf sbe qbvat nirentr wbof -- onax ivpr cerfvqragf,
  661. vafhenapr fnyrfzna, nhqvgbef, frpergnevrf bs qrsrafr -- naq lbh'yy
  662. ernyvmr gurl nyy qerff gur fnzr jnl, rffragvnyyl gur jnl gur znaardhvaf
  663. va gur Frnef zrafjrne qrcnegzrag qerff. Abj ybbx ng gur erny
  664. fhpprffrf, gur crbcyr jub znxr n ybg zber zbarl guna lbh -- Rygba Wbua,
  665. Pncgnva Xnatnebb, nalobql sebz Fnhqv Nenovn, Ovt Oveq, naq fb ba. Gurl
  666. nyy qerff shaal -- naq gurl nyy fhpprrq. Ner lbh pngpuvat ba?
  667. -- Qnir Oneel, "Ubj gb Qerff sbe Erny Fhpprff"
  668.  
  669. TO DECODE THE FUNNIST JOKE IN THE UNIVERSE JUST PIPE THAT THROUGH "UUDECODE(1)"
  670. _____________________________________________________________________________
  671. R-RATED GIF FOLLOWS, PRESS N NOW!
  672. ^L
  673.  
  674. O
  675. (.|.)
  676. ).( TIFFANY BRISSETE HAS A GREAT BOD! WOO WOO!!!! HUBBA HUBBA! YOW!
  677. ( | )
  678. \|/
  679.  
  680. |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
  681.  
  682. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh. fee fi fo feh.
  683. _____________________________________________________________________________
  684.  
  685. "100% gist-free!" -- Amy S. Brockman on Kibo's .signature.
  686. Compliment... or CONSPIRACY?
  687. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
  688.  
  689. My favorite painters are Pollock, Rothko, Warhol, Dali', Miro', Tanguy,
  690. Rockwell, Warhol, and myself. I'm almost as good as Dali' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  691. My least favorite musical composer is Salieri, since he was a bozo.
  692. ____________________
  693. / \
  694. / \
  695. ^______________/ __ __ \______________^
  696. \ | / \ / \ | /
  697. \ | | o | | o | | /
  698. \ | \__/__ \__/ | /
  699. \ | / \ | /
  700. \ | \__/ | /
  701. BO- \____| __________ |____/ -ZO
  702. | / ________ \ |
  703. \ | / ______ \ | /
  704. \ |/_/ \_\| /
  705. \____________________/
  706. |
  707. |
  708. \ | /
  709. \----+-----/
  710. |
  711. |
  712. |
  713. /\
  714. / \
  715. / \
  716. _____________/ \____________ (clown shoes)
  717.  
  718. /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
  719.  
  720. Ich bin ein .signature Virus. Mach' mit und kopiere mich in Deine .signature.
  721. Don't ask what it means, just put it in your .signature, okay?
  722. _____________________________________________________________________________
  723. THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED IN THIS POSTING ARE SOLELY THE AUTHORS' AND DO NOT
  724. NECESSARILY REFLECT THOSE OF DIGITAL EQUIPMENT CORPORATION, RENSSELAER POLY-
  725. POLYTECHNIC INSTITUTE, PENN STATE, IBM, NASA, HARVARD UNIVERSITY, SCIENTOLOGY,
  726. ATARI CORP., STANFORD UNIVERSITY, BITNET INC., SOFTWARE TOOL & DIE, INFOCOM,
  727. PRODIGY, RALSTON PURINA INC., JAPAN, LYNDON LaROUCHE, THE SYSOP OF USENET,
  728. GEORGE BUSH, THE LONDON TIMES, ORACLE CORPORATION, WILLIE WHISTLE, STAR TREK
  729. THE NEXT GENERATION, THE HOME SHOPPING CLUB, THE HAIR CHANNEL FOR MEN, OR THE
  730. CITY OF NEW YORK. HOWEVER YOU CAN'T SUE ME FOR SAYING ANY OF THIS BECAUSE
  731. IF YOU SUE ME YOU'D HAVE TO QUOTE ME IN COURT AND THEN I'D SUE YOU FOR
  732. QUOTING THIS COPYRIGHTED (C) MESSAGE!!! MY COUSINS ARE ALL LAWYERS !!!!!
  733. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  734. ******************************************************************************
  735. * NEW drawing! *
  736. * of a RADIK00L sword thats even BIGGER then the USS ENTERPRISE wow! *
  737. * *
  738. * ___ *
  739. * /\/ / ====@==== ///////// ---------
  740. * / _/ ``________// *
  741. * / / `------' -------------
  742. * / / *
  743. * __===__ / / *
  744. */ \/----+---------------------------------------\______ *
  745. *| | XCALIBER THE DECAPITATER!!!! \______________*
  746. *| | /~~~~~~~~ *
  747. *\__====_/\---+----------------------------------------/~~~~~~ *
  748. * \ \ *
  749. * \ \ *
  750. * \ \ *
  751. * \ \_ *
  752. * \ \ NOTE: This isnt a hyperdermic needel !!!!!! *
  753. * \ \ *
  754. * \/\_\ *
  755. * ITS SO GOOD I FRAMED IT !!!!*
  756. ******************************************************************************
  757.  
  758. aibophobia (ay' bo fo beeya): n. The fear of palindromes.
  759.  
  760. kibophobia (ki' bo fo beeya): n. The fear of Kibo.
  761.  
  762. kibophobik (ki' bo fo bik): n. The fear of Kibo's palindromes.
  763. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  764. I'M STILL 100% FLAMEPROOF! / I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP! / HI MARK!
  765. ____________________________/____________________________________/___________
  766. If you type "rm *" right now I'll give you a million dollars!!!
  767. _____________________________________________________________________________
  768. Arsenio Hall is the black Johnny Carson but Byron Allen is the black Pat Sajak!
  769. But at least Byron Allen is funnier than Skip Stephenson or John Barbour!
  770. Conan O'Brien sucks because he has big hair and Monty Python isn't funny
  771. because it doesn't make any sense!!! JAY LENO ROCKS!!!!
  772. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
  773. IBM's "AIX" operating system is better than "real" "UNIX" systems
  774. because "AIX" has "man" pages that show "pictures" of each "command"!
  775. Here's an "example", isn't this "cute"?
  776.  
  777. RM, DELETE(1,C) AIX Commands Reference RM, DELETE(1,C)
  778.  
  779. PURPOSE
  780.  
  781. Removes files or directories.
  782.  
  783. SYNTAX
  784.  
  785. one of
  786. +--------+ +------------+
  787. | rm |---| +----+ |--- file ---|
  788. | delete | +---| -f |---+ ^ |
  789. +--------+ ^ | -i | | +--------+
  790. | | -r | |
  791. | | -- | |
  792. | | -s | |
  793. | +----+ |
  794. +--------+
  795. ____________________________________________________ \o clip and save _______
  796. /O
  797. <--those are scissors
  798. .------------
  799. .--' o . . `--
  800. .-' . O . . `
  801. .-'@ @@@@@@@ . @@@@@
  802. /@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ .<--- Crater Parry -- I paid $15 for it
  803. ./ o @@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@ at the Boston Science Museum!
  804. /@@ o @@@@@@@@@@@. @@@@@@@ O
  805. /@@@@ . @@@@@@@o @@@@@@@@@@ @
  806. |@@@@@ . @@@@@@@@@@@@@ o @@
  807. /@@@@@ O `.-./ . @@@@@@@@@@@@ @ Full Moon +
  808. | @@@@ --`-' o @@@@@@@@ @@@@ 2 17:08:58
  809. |@ @@@ ` o . @@ . @@@@@@ Last Quarter -
  810. | @@ @ .-. @@@ @@@@@@ 4 16:02:05
  811. \ . @ @@@ `-' . @@@@ @@@@
  812. | @@ @@@@@ . @@ .
  813. \ @@@@ @\@@ / . O . o
  814. \ o @@ \ \ / . .
  815. `\ . .\.-.___ . . .-
  816. \ `-' `-
  817. `-. o / | o O .
  818. `-. / . . .
  819. `--. . .--
  820. `------------
  821.  
  822. If this posting offends you, then you're a WEENERBRAIN!!!
  823.  
  824.  
  825. @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@
  826. @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@ @@ @@ @@
  827. @@ @@@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@
  828. @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@ @@@ @@ @@
  829. @@ @@ @@ @@@@@@ @@@@@@ @@ @@ @@@@@
  830.  
  831. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
  832. .....Dedicated to the memory of DeForest Kelley.....
  833. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
  834.  
  835. -------\__/
  836. | * /
  837. |_____-/ BOSTON, MASSACHUSSETTS <-- SITE OF WORLD.COM PUBLIC ACCESS UNIX
  838. ONLY A DOLLAR A MINUTE PLUS CONNECT TIME!
  839.  
  840. AND NO I DON'T KNOW MICHAEL DUKAKIS PERSONALLY!
  841. ^L
  842.  
  843. 12345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890XXXXX DON'T GO INTO THE X'S !!!!!
  844.  
  845. ^L
  846. ^L
  847. ^L
  848. ^D
  849. ^D
  850. ^D
  851. .
  852. exit
  853. stop
  854. bye
  855. ^C
  856. ^Z
  857. !sh
  858. !ed
  859. /exit
  860. quit
  861. q
  862. /quit
  863. ~x
  864. help
  865. help stop
  866. !help
  867. logout
  868. $signoff
  869. write sysop "how do i stop this ???"
  870. psot
  871. post
  872. ^P^O^S^T
  873.  
  874. this line intentionally left blank so that the following line will be #350.
  875.  
  876. THIS IS THE THREE HUNDRED FIFTIETH LINE OF MY .SIGNATURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  877.  
  878.  
  879. the edn
  880.  
  881. P.S.:
  882. ----------
  883. >From mathew@mantis.co.uk Tue Jul 2 11:28:05 1991
  884. To: James 'Kibo' Parry
  885. Subject: Re: Call for creation of alt.evolutionary.acceleration
  886. From: Industrial Poet
  887. Comments: Civilization is a momentary failure of entropy
  888. Date: Tue, 02 Jul 91 10:55:39 BST
  889. Organization: Mantis Consultants, Cambridge. UK.
  890.  
  891. Might I suggest adding the following quote to your .signature:
  892.  
  893. "It seems like it's time to retire the length-of-sig-wasted-bandwidth flame.
  894. The point really is, News is BIG and .signatures, even long ones, are small."
  895. - Mark-Jason Dominus
  896.  
  897.  
  898. mathew
  899. ----------
  900. --
  901. --
  902. >From stev0@sti.com Sat May 9 01:19:46 1992
  903. Date: Fri, 8 May 92 22:19:07 PDT
  904. From: stev0@sti.com (Steve Berlin)
  905. To: kibo@world.std.com
  906. Subject: Re: your .sig
  907.  
  908. Hi there.
  909.  
  910. Thanks for your nifty .sig. I already got a copy from alt.fan.warlord,
  911. but with such a wonderful work of art, you can never have too many copies,
  912. can you? Well, of course you can! I mean, "Mona Lisa" is a damn good
  913. painting, but am I going to hang it in every room in my apartment? No!
  914. But I digress.
  915.  
  916. Anyway, to make your .sig a bit more "user-friendly", here is an index for
  917. it. The numbers, of course, refer to line numbers.
  918. I'll let someone ELSE do a table of contents.
  919.  
  920. Suggestions for index:
  921. 1) Append it to the end of the .sig
  922. 2) Include it as a seperate file
  923. 3) Just delete the damn thing, log off, and watch Ren and Stimpy
  924. or (my favorite): append it to the end of your sig, THEN log off and
  925. watch Ren and Stimpy.
  926.  
  927. - Stev0
  928.  
  929. 13, Rot - 610-623
  930. Address - 55-58
  931. Autograph, Burroughs, William S. - 527-533
  932. Child, Dying - 155-174
  933. Copyright - 86-88
  934. Credits - 19,20
  935. Dedication - 781-783
  936. Disclaimers - 22-25, 89-98, 142, 153, 216, 276, 474, 677-686, 772, 790
  937. Drawings, ASCII:
  938. Bozo - 644-670
  939. Brain - 28-37
  940. Bunny, Energizer, Being Nuked - 540-556
  941. Check, Amiga - 223-243
  942. Dog - 40-48
  943. Enterprise - 501-506, 692-695
  944. Simpson, Bart, Minimalist - 245-253
  945. Sword - 692-709
  946. Terminator - 478-489
  947. unknown (command flow?) 736-744
  948. unknown (computer?) 293-300
  949. End, The - 775-780, 831
  950. Favorites:
  951. Author - 77-81
  952. Font - 144-146
  953. Heavy Metal Band - 245-253
  954. Movie - 137-138
  955. Movie - 478-489
  956. Painters - 641-643
  957. Quotes - 388-440
  958. Quotes, Star Trek - 507-511
  959. SF Short Story - 207-208
  960. Skeleton Joke - 210
  961. Feh, Fee Fi Fo - 638
  962. Font, BUA - 257-273
  963. Font, Biggest UA - 559-609
  964. GIF, R-Rated - 626-635
  965. History - 2-16
  966. Line 350 - 828
  967. Manuals, MTS - 535-537
  968. Map, Australia - 308-320
  969. Map, Massachusetts - 785-788
  970. Map, Moon 442-473, 748-771
  971. Network, Sean Coates' - 350-362
  972. Peeks, Twin - 176-205
  973. Phobias - 712-716
  974. Posts Made, Number of - 364-386
  975. Quitting Attempts - 794-825
  976. Quotes, Random - 57-75, 83, 84, 99-135, 140-152, 212-214, 321-348,
  977. 490-497, 514-525, 723-734
  978. Scissors - 745-746
  979. Score, Tetris - 220
  980. Smilies - 303-305
  981. Space, Blank - 280-291
  982. Virus, .Sig, German - 672-674
  983. ====
  984.  
  985. Alt.alien.visitors elected me OFFICIAL Spokesman For The Planet Earth!
  986.  
  987.  
  988. ---------
  989.  
  990. In article <13bvonINN6il@darkstar.UCSC.EDU> carolo@cse.ucsc.edu signed:
  991. >-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
  992. >Carol Osterbrock * Life is too short for 4 line .sigs
  993. >carolo@cse.ucsc.edu * -- well, if Kibo didn't say it, he should have
  994. >==============================================================================
  995.  
  996. ----------
  997. UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this
  998. IMPORTANT Information is ENCOURAGED.
  999.  
  1000. RMS told me to plug the League For Programmed Freedom in my .signature
  1001. so I did. Join the LPF! RMS is cool.
  1002.  
  1003. SEE BATMAN 2 !!!!
  1004. --
  1005.  
  1006. I HAVE A BLACK BELT !
  1007.  
  1008. --
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