Why you still shouldn't drink and write

Sunday, around 11:30 AM.

I am currently sitting on a bench in town, waiting for Claire to arrive so that we can start our date. During the 23 minutes I have sat here, a myriad of thoughts ran through my head.
Did she change her mind? Should I have shaved? Did I make the right choice in wearing my Carhartt jacket? It's been a while since I dated anyone, hopefully I won't say anything stupid.

During my internal freakout, a filthy looking woman with absurdly long hair and a stained, hooded robe decides to sit down next to me. Good god she smells awful, and judging by the bags under her eyes, I'd say she hasn't had very much sleep.

She turns her head towards me and smiles weakly, "Hello."

"Hey." I respond, doing my best not to vomit.

"You look like a swell fellow. Think You could possibly spare some change so that I may enjoy a warm, mold-less meal?" The possibly homeless woman asks in a monotone voice, while staring at me with her golden eyes.

I pull out my wallet, "You're not going to use this for alcohol, right?"

"Maybe some cigarettes, but I'm not just blowing smoke here." The hobo begins to chuckle a bit before violently coughing.

Eh.

I pull out a ten and hand it to her. She quickly pockets it and stands up, "Thank you for your donation." The homeless woman then shuffles away.

Sadly, the horrible smell of homeless people and bleach still lingers a bit.

A few minutes pass by before Claire finally arrives, being almost half an hour late. It's kind of hard to miss her, since she's so tall.

"You sure took your time." I greet the red haired werewolf.

She walk up to me with a slightly cute pout, "Sorry, I got caught up in deciding what I should wear. Not to mention I had to take a detour since one road was blocked because of a police investigation."
Claire is wearing a white shirt, dark blue jeans, and a pair of sandals. It's odd seeing her wearing normal clothing, since I've only seen her wearing that one torn up gym uniform.

"What's that?" Claire points one of her claws at the part of bench that's to my left, where a large black stain resides in the same spot that the homeless woman was sitting. How did I not notice that?

"That's nothing." I stand pop my knees and stand up, "Are you ready?"

The wolf girl wraps one her arms around mine, and begins to wag her tail, "Sure!"

The two of us walk to a nearby arcade.

Claire stares at the sign before turning to me, "You're taking me here?"

I molest my chin, "Yeah, I thought we could have some fun before going to a movie, or something. What, you don't like Arcades? Or are you scared that I'm going to whoop your butt?"

"Fun things ARE fun, but I seriously doubt that you can beat me!" The wolf woman gives me a toothy smile while pointing at herself with her thumb.

"Oh yeah? Well let's just see about that!"

Hours go by as the two of us duke it out at various arcade games, ignoring the strange looks we are receiving from the various kids for being over twice their age. Unfortunately, Claire barely beats me, even when I gave it my all and had an asspull powerup.

The two of us exit the arcade. Claire is puffing her chest out in a boastful manner while smiling ear to ear, "I told you!"

"Well I'll be," I lightly clap with one hand and scratch the back of my neck with the other, "I never thought I would be bested in this day and age."

After watching Claire boast and preform a little victory dance, I come to a stunning realization: I'm pretty hungry.

"You want to get something to eat?"

The werewolf stops dancing and shrugs, "Sure."

We head to the nearest place that serves food, which happens to be a diner run by a Dragon girl in a wifebeater. After sitting down at a booth near the entrance, a little boy in a waitress uniform comes up to take our orders.

Judging from the smile on his face, I say the fruit enjoys wearing that uniform.

I quickly glance through a nearby menu, "I'll have a hamburger with fries."

Claire slowly looks through the menu, before perking her ears and stating her order, "I want the slaughter house club sandwich, with extra pork!"

The lad writes down our orders and walks away to another table, where an Oni slaps and gropes his butt very loudly.

I try to strike a conversation with Claire while waiting, "So, why didn't you eyerape that kid like every other monster here?"

"I'm not into kids, or submissive people. Besides," She begins to blush and look at me with a warm expression on her face, while tracing circles into the table in front with her clawed finger, "I have my eyes on someone else."

I let out a soft chuckle, "You sure know how to make this old man blush."

"You're not that old, only six years older than me." She's 32? She looks younger...

"Yeah, but I still FEEL old."

Our food finally arrives, but instead of a waitress, it's the wifebeater wearing Dragon. She gives me a wink while setting our meals onto the table, and a dick sucking gesture while walking away.

God damn it.

I look at my burger. It's simple, but delicious looking.

However, I take a look at Claire's meal and freeze. In place of a normal looking club sandwich was a monster composed of various meats from various animals...and bread.

Good god, I thought the name "Slaughter House Special" was just a fun little name they tacked on!

I glare at the pile of assorted meats masquerading as a sandwich, "You're going to EAT that?"

"Yeah, I ordered it didn't I?" Claire picks up the beast and begins to devour it. I merely take small bites from my burger while watching the spectacle. In very little time, she eats what looks like a 15 pound sandwich in an extremely unladylike matter.

The werewolf begins to wipe her face in a ladylike fashion, "That was so good!"

"Yeah, I've had my fill." I turn around and point my finger into the air, "Check please!"

I pay for both of our meals, like a gentleman, and the two of us leave.  It's about time for the Movie Theater to start playing movies, so we head there. Once there, we stare at the available movies they're showing.

"How about the new Micheal Bay movie? That looks good." Claire speaks up and points with her pointer.

"No thanks. I'd rather watch Lord of the Rings again." Looking through the titles, I learn that I don't really watch to watch ANY of these crappy movies, "Eh, all of these are pretty bad. Let's just go with 'Jackass 7: Graveyard Shenanigans'."

"Alright."

We wait in line, get our tickets, buy the overpriced soda and popcorn, and take the seats near the back corner. It's pretty crowded here...

Due to coming a little early, we have to sit through the commercials. Numerous commercials about penis enlargement, pregnancy enhancers, and that new brand of cigarettes marketed towards Dragons begin playing.

Claire turns her head towards me while fiddling her fingers, "Since we have time before the movie starts, do you mind if I take a nap?"

"I don't mind. Go for it." I shrug.

"Thanks." She gets out of her seat and plops herself on my lap, almost spilling my popcorn, before wrapping her arms around my neck in a very intimate hug.

"OI!" I call out to the wolf girl, but she doesn't respond. She's already asleep? God damn it.

...At least it isn't uncomfortable...