When I was younger I used to move a lot. I left my first best friend behind after Grade 2 when I moved to Vaughan to live at my aunt’s house. I was only there for one school year and it was undoubtedly the worst I’ve ever had. The class made me a huge menu sized going away card that everyone signed. I don't know what happened to it.
I remember the winters the most. I only had a few friends: this blonde I forget the name of and a bunch of Russians that alienated me by speaking their mother tongue to each other. Recesses were cold and boring and most of the time, I found myself alone with my thoughts, exploring the schoolyard.
 Around the middle of the year, I discovered that a bunch of boys crowded around the doorways and played video games until the recess was over. One of those boys was Misha.
Misha had the worst, comically disproportionate teeth and was one of those dorks that carried his lunch bag with him everywhere. But he had blond hair, blue eyes, and paid me some attention so naturally, I fell in love.
This guy was decked out; he had a Nintendo DS and a see-through Gameboy. We would spend every recess together crouched in one of the nooks along the school wall and I’d watch him play Yoshi’s Island or sometimes Pokemon. We probably only spoke three words to each other throughout the months we hung out, in fact, I don’t think he ever even bothered to learn my name. He was always so engrossed in his game but I was so enormously impressed with his skills, I really didn’t mind our one-sided relationship.
It was calming being there with him. It was as if the two of us were isolated from the rest of the world and gradually, all the other kids, running around, yelling, playing, just became a distant noise.
One day, I went to our usual spot and waited for him, but he did not come. Next recess I did the same; wasn’t there. For a whole week I checked if he’d be sitting there waiting for me and everytime he was no where to be seen; it was as if he fell off the face of the Earth. We had no mutual friends, nor were we in the same class; I was left completely in the dark.
Spring came and reluctantly, I gave up on him.
It’s strange how subtle our relationship was yet I still remember him to this day. I remembered how I asked my uncle for his deck of Pokemon cards because of him. I remembered the colour of his winter jacket; it was red. Red was the colour when I met him, red was the colour when I fell in love, and red was the colour I saw before he left.
A first crush is the purest form of love I can think of. I say I “fell in love”, but I didn’t, not really. Real love is violent, it hurtles everything at you at once, it demands to be felt, it changes you completely. A crush comes and goes like a fleeting moment but you never really forget the first time someone made your heart beat like you just ran a marathon, just by throwing on a smile.
I always wonder where Misha is now, and if he remembers the fangirl that cuddled up next to him as he battled his way to the Elite Four. I want to tell him I got a DS last year, and maybe we could finally play each other like I used to dream of doing.