ENFJ is a definite no. While I can be outgoing and am charismatic when I am, that's more circumstantial and not a consistent thing. I think an ENFJ with dominant Fe would be very much in people's faces all the time. I'm more reserved than that. That's the same trouble I had with ENTJ. Some aspects fit, but I'm not quite that much of a go-getter.

INFJ fits... Surprisingly well. And reflecting on it is sort of odd, because I think what ever type I am I've repressed feeling or pretended it doesn't exist due to it not being masculine enough or what ever. That would be something I did when I was younger, in my early 20s. I don't see it the same way today and have a more broad/stable perspective. Which probably allows me to accept the existence of more F than I allowed myself to in past years. Nonetheless, considering the possibility of INFJ has been a bit like trying on a suit that seems tailor-fit, but isn't in the color you're used to wearing.

I've learned to be assertive, but that hasn't always been the case. While people see me as assertive now, I used to be fairly passive and would defer to what other people wanted. Some life experiences lead me to develop assertiveness out of need. Today I'm a blend of wanting other's to have what they want, while also not afraid to create boundaries or state what I want. The middle ground is also usually obvious to me, which I then advocate for.

I've learned how to bounce ideas around, connecting random things in the room in a sort of Ne-like fashion, but that too is learned behavior. I used to have a really hard time with that, being predisposed to the depth of specific things rather than the lateral connections of those things. I've learned that because I enjoy making people laugh, and it's a mechanism that allows me to temporarily take things in a more light-hearted way when I'm not wanting to be so cognitively penetrating about something.

Those last 2 paragraphs are learned behaviors that have shown during the last 3 years (ages 24-27). That, honestly, I've learned only because it has meant getting laid more often. So "trying on" the INFJ type/functions has been surreal practice because while it does not match what I've been trying to be, it matches quite closely what I have been like in a more long-term kind of way. Ways that have always been present even if I don't pay attention to it or feel proud of it.

If I am an INFJ, I think my Ti is highly developed, perhaps even Fe a little bit repressed.

As far as I can tell, here's how my mind works:

If I we're to draw the primary mode of functioning, I would take a piece of paper and scribble all over it. It would be chaos. Not disorder, but chaos. Not a loud chaos, but a subtle chaos. Imagine looking at a pond and seeing little ripples. Maybe a few tiny insects jump around and you see little splashes here and there. There's a toadstool, and when the bugs jump on the toadstool there's no ripple or splashes. It's subtle, but you understand why there's no ripples when the bug jumps there. Or at least, eventually it begins to make sense. Receiving information is like new toadstools floating in, or new species of insects of different sizes migrating here. Different ripples, different meanings and different understandings for what happens as the insects move about. It's hard to understand, describe, or wrap your head around every little detail and every little interaction. But when you look, it still just sort of makes sense.

That's mainly what's happening all the time. At the same time as this, I'm able to take that and reason about it. I can form complex logical structures on my head based on what I see happening in the pond. Just weeks ago I formed a hypothesis about what happens when crossing the event horizon of a black hole. This also helps me a lot with software development, because I have an Intuition about how the software works, and almost "see" the inner workings of the program within my mind, visually, as interconnected pipes and gears, that I can then logic about. This makes me good at detecting a fixing bugs.

With people, I'm noticing that unless I know them very well, my interactions with them are more feeling/value based. Unless I know them well and know that they care about black holes and space and physics and philosophy and psychology, I have difficulty talking to them about that stuff because I feel like I'm talking "at" them rather than "with" them. Last night I was out at a bar and someone started up a conversation with me. I naturally and without meaning to talked with him and tried relating to him in a Fe kind of way. Every word he would say, I understood him a little more. And it's like this with every person I talk to. Constantly.

When I would read about ENTPs and their natural inclination to probe people and understand what makes them tick, I sort of but not quite resonated with it. It's different though. I'm not so much trying to see what gears they have, but more trying to peer into their soul. I'm trying to understand what makes them tick, but also what colors are in there and how the wind blows and understand the whole story and who the protagonist is and... On and on...

I naturally fall into the position of mediator or therapist with people. I intuitively understand what people's problems are and what they need to do to fix it. This has lead to unhealthy power dynamics in relationships because it's like I become their mentor rather than their partner. I've even been labled as manipulative before. I can see why, but it's not for my benefit. It's because I can see what they need to do to grow. And I value the people I'm close to and want them to grow. So I nudge people in that direction, sprinkling in all sorts insights and wisdom. While seldom wrong, people don't always appreciate it.

I think I use a great deal of logic in my decision making, but my first thought is always whether or not something would be "right" or if they would appreciate it. But I'm confident enough in my logic that often times I override that gut-"feeling" reason and go with logic instead. It's always deliberate when this happens. If I'm not paying enough attention, I automatically go with the "right" or "good" feeling decision. This is often times annoying to me and makes me feel weak. I began using Ti in more interpersonal decision making as an attempt to overcome that and to become more bullet-proof to toxic people.