alternate ending

Alternate ending inspired by a friend

I wrapped my arms around the body-length pillow and drew her close, pressing my lips to the full pink lips on the pillow's design. I felt something solid behind them. Something hard... and in the shape of a little square.

Sniggering. She giggled at me, and then, unable to contain herself, broke into full-blown laughter. It took me a moment to realize, but the sound of her voice was coming from the little box I had just laid my lips on. I felt like an idiot.

"Kiss me, loverboy! I'll be your waifu!" Mocking tones erupted from the little voicebox behind the cloth. I couldn't believe I hadn't recognized it before. It was my friend's girlfriend, who had been conspicuously missing from this house-hunting trip.

Behind me, he entered the small, dirty room again, laughing and redfaced. "I can't believe you fell for that!" His girl followed behind him, holding a walkie-talkie.

I said nothing. I put the anime pillow down and quickly began to leave the house.

"Hey, hey, I'm sorry! I found a house - a real house - to show you! I just thought this would be a funny little distraction taking you to this abandoned old house. I got that pillow in the mail yesterday."

The girl made kissy faces at me as I wordlessly passed them and got in the car.

I hate anime.