You ever feel that feeling? You ever feel where you do something and it eventually causes harm to literally anyone? You ever feel like, you get too conscious with your actions out of fear kf hurting anyone or yourself? You ever thought of eradicating hope and eradicate the hope of gaining hope? You ever regret wasting precious seconds of your life to just read a bunch of questions in this shitty thing? Well, me too. I wrote this shit, but I too regret wasting my time writing this too. But it's not because I want to, it's because I have to. Most of you guys feel cool and all, but oh not me. I act fine, but I've always shown to everyone that I'm literally suicidal and it's all cool. Oh, who am I kidding, this isn't that much of a big deal. This "issue" thing isn't that much of a serious problem. I mean, what would they have done? TBH, I'm getting tired of that "there was nothing they could do" shit too. But it makes sense. And guess what? I could tell you're having the urge to not read this anymore because it's entirely bullshit. Well, I don't even care. I don't know why I'm still writing this. I really feel like I need to stop, but I can't. But seriously, why the fuck am I still writing this shit? Why am I insisting on wasting my time on this shit? Here's why. I still don't know why I needed to write this, but I can't live with myself if I didn't. It's not because of my conscience, well, I don't feel any regrets, I guess. It's mostly because I needed to at least say something before I disappear or something. It's what suicide notes are, right? You get to say goodbye in a convenient and indirect way where you are mostly gonna get killed by yourself more than getting killed out of shame. Well, by then, if you're not retarded, you should be assuming right now that this is a suicide note. Putting aside some bit of stereotyping, one can assume that if this is a suicide note, then it can basically be a classic copypasta you normally find in the internet. Well guess what? This ain't one. I legit wasted a lot of time writing this. That's how deadass I am. Well, if this really was a suicide note, then you can just assume several things. Either you think I'm an attention slut, this was just an outdated April Fools prank, or this is real. But then, so what if it's real? Someone's gonna die, oh ok. There's always people dying anyway, nothing bad about that, unless I'm infected by a seriously deadly pathogen and turn into a zombie or something. On the bright side, MoRe SpAcE fOr EvErYbOdY!!!1!!! I thought I'd never leave. INB4 "It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Hey idiot, this problem is permanent. It does make sense, but this time, it's a permanent problem now. There's completely no other way. For once, try to like, at least respect my decision. I'm a grown up boi. Joking aside though, I have to say, suicide notes are just rushed up last wills and testaments. You do know we tend to work more effectively when the deadline is a lot closer. I just love how depressed people actually find their state funny. It's just downright funny that we make memes out of them. So technically, it's kinda balanced because they're all Yang, but turning their depression into memes, that was their Yin. Anyway, did you laugh for a bit or felt like laughing earlier while reading this? Well congratulations, you just laughed at a fucking suicide note. What do you have to say to yourself? Well don't worry, I won't hurt you for that. I mean, I'm literally gonna die, what else can I do after that? Moving on, while writing at this bit, (hoping to not sound narcissistic) I'm actually finding my writing style weird. I'm quite sure this is how post-modern writing works I guess. Well, it may not be the exact "literature" kind of post-modernism, but the system of this thing is kinda like the "generalized" kind of post-modernism. Oh wait, philosophy is pretty boring. Post-modernism sounds like a philosophical term. Therefore, post-modernism sounds boring. Therefore, this suicide note is boring. And boy, you are right. I wonder if there was such thing as a fun suicide note. Oh wait, let's give it a try. "Guys, I'm gonna die soon. I will be able to go to the spirit world, hooray! Thanks for your support guys, really appreciate it. Probably not gonna miss you guys or whatever. Fuck you guys, I'm going to the spirit world." Man, that definitely sounded autistic. It was the best I could write, at 2 fucking AM. Yes, I stayed up late. By then, if you're still reading this, you're actually gonna start judging me. You can say to yourself that you are a bigot, but I know, deep inside you, I know, you're judging me. I mean, a normal suicidal person wouldn't write a suicide note like this. It's not normal. I understand that fact, which is why I considered to refer myself as one thing, and that is, an insane person. I can't be normal, my actions aren't normal. My mind isn't normal. Almost everything about me isn't normal. IRL, some people do refer me as crazy, some called me an "Ishan" (you know, the kid in that Indian movie thing), some called me Mr. Bean. That's what I've heard from them. And I thought to myself, "What if they were right?" Well, that would mean they get bragging rights and actually call me a loser or something, I mean, it's what it was always have been. So yeah, I've embedded in my mind that I am crazy. Also, don't worry guys, it's not bullying. They wouldn't call me crazy unless I did something. So this, this is on me. No biggie. INB4 "Then why the fuck did you not stop acting crazy before you accepted being crazy?" THAT'S JUST ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I AM CRAZY, DUMBASS!!! I never stopped. I was an idiot to not stop. And it's way too late to stop. This is a permanent disorder now. There is no cure. There is no stopping it. And because I am crazy, I am proud to be crazy. Also, for some reason, I think that part that I wrote actually feels like it's gonna become some sort of a joke or a meme material. Like, pretty soon, after I die, this suicide note would get memed or something. That's just how volatile the internet is. It's a completely "unserious" world, but I chose to live in it. How else would I not be normal? Well, let's face it, I'm legit mentally challenged and is fit for eliminaton. So, go on guys. Eliminate me. If you don't, I will. After all, this is a suicide note, right? Apparently, I can't say I've done something significantly good or something, but I did make some nice friends I guess. Well, if I did die, would that leave them in despair or something else similar? Maybe, well, I'm no prophet. But I do know one way to find out. However though, what I'm more concerned is that if I do get to successfully commit drink clorox or something. In my lifetime, I've learned that victims that have failed suicide attempts are less likely gonna do it again. As for me, I've actually been accumulating a lot of negativity to muster the courage to commit wear a noose. Ever wonder why I've been slouching my whole life IRL? It's because I'm planning to accumulate hatred, pain, anger, regret, sadness, all to empower one single act that I've been longing to do for years. I don't even remember exactly when I planned this shit anymore. All I know is, I'm tired. I'm not cut out to have a life. I don't deserve a life. This bullshit needs to stop. I know and I understand how puberty works, but believe me, there's no way out anymore. This isn't puberty at all. Wish there was a reset button, but there is none. I've thought this through for a really long fucking time without any of you guys knowing that I am. I know, committing oxygen not reach lungs sounds like a selfish dick move to do, but that's what I am. It just adds up to all the reasons why I don't deserve to live. I've been looking for loopholes about this thing I'm about to do, but there is none either. There is no "talking out of it". I'm done. As for my other plans except for this, I'm cancelling them all. I will abandon everything I've created over the year, I will abandon everything I've planned, I will abandon everything I've loved and the ones who loved me, oh wait, no one loved me, how could I've been so stupid? I will literally abandon everything, and I accept. If you think you've been in the same situation I am now and think there's still a way out, just shut the fuck up. I don't fucking care. You can just take every shit I've valued and destroy them all in front of my fucking face, but I'm still gonna fucking kill myself. To everyone that did love me without me knowing or something, well, fuck you guys. Just kidding. Anyway, for those that did love me and did show me that fact but I intentionally refused to see it, I wish I could've spent more time with you guys, but now, you'll all feel better, now that you'll all be free from one burden in your lives. As for all the enemies I've made in the internet and especially IRL, congratulations. You've officially defeated me. Five claps (sorry sir). An enemy has been slain (crab rave intensifies). If you managed to make it this far, then I gotta say, you're quite deadass too. Any normal person would know better than to read this big ass pile of letters and words (and a couple of emojis) that are completely nonsensical. If there is something I am very certain after reading this, it'll be the fact that you'll think that this really is nonsense after all. Like I said, you will judge me, no matter what. Oh well, that wouldn't matter anymore once I die I guess. Oh, and if I don't, feel free to make fun of this suicide note so that I can refuel some good ol' negativity for meself. Technically, you can also conspire about me faking my death or something, but think about this. Why would I want to fake my death? Why would I want to come back? I literally just said I'm abandoning everything. There's completely nothing to return to. Otherwise, I'd end up more of a ghost rather than literally coming back from the dead. I've always wanted to haunt several people for no apparent reason at all. Being a vengeful spirit doesn't seem that bad. It actually sounds cool. If you're still wasting your life reading this and or, determined to "try" and help me, then just go fucking die yourself in a hole. You guys are also one of the reasons why I wanna fucking quit anyway. If you've been reading this shit and did see me dead and just unironically cried, then don't. If I still remember how to genuinely cry, it could've changed my mind. But now, I just killed my emotions to the point where I can't cry by myself anymore. That's when I realised crying isn't all that bad. Which ended up being one of the reasons why I wanna fucking die. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, that I've been fantasising death for quite a while too. Here's how I've pictured it in my head. Eventually, my body basically collapses and there's nothing I can do about it. While lying flat on the floor, I begin to feel several parts of me shutting down that I can no longer feel them anymore. I feel my body heat slowly dropping, unit by unit. I can then no longer feel my muscles anymore. My heart beats at an abnormal rate and I lose control of my breathing which pretty much what makes death painful. I feel the paij but can no longer do anything to stop it. Afterwards, I just lose my consciousness, closing my eyes and everything else just shuts down. And voilà, sucide complete. Yay.

Anyways, this is The_PROfessor saying goodbye to life.