NEET and Pega-Filly

>Your eyelids creak open slowly.
>There's no sun, but the bloom-y effect of the sun on your curtains tells you it's morning.
>Or day, at least.
>Probably two or three, something mid-day.
>Not that there's reason to care much.
>With a sigh, the covers come off, and you gently step off your bed.
>It takes some effort to not fall on your face, but you're getting better at it every day.
>You walk your ass out of your room and into the bathroom next door.
>More effort, and you relieve yourself of the countless sodas you had yesterday.
>You move the stepping stool over to the sink and start washing your hooves.
>But the first thing you notice beforehand is the face staring back at you.
>While the water runs, a blank, emotionless face.
>Big, grassy green eyes without their shine.
>Folded ears, messy, greasy mane.
>And of course, the cancer spots that riddled your cheeks.
>Unable to bear any more, you open your medicine cabinet up, swinging the mirror out of your way.
>A second passes, and you find yourself staring at one of the orange pill bottles.
>Enough of those could surely do something...
>With another sigh, you shake your head.
>If you ended up here from Earth, what in the hell could possibly be awaiting you after THIS?
>You just might have gotten lucky here, even considering the circumstances.
>Testing fate a second time might not be wise.
>...At least, it doesn't feel like it now.
>You finish up and dry your hooves on the towel nearby, then hop off and walk out.
>As you travel the hallway, pass by your doors, you can't help but think how they'd look if you were human again.
>But every day that you do, you find it harder and harder to imagine that anything could be smaller than you.
>...You don't want to tempt fate, but whoever his buddy is, is a fucking asshole.
>Don't know what you got 'till it's gone, but this is a ridiculous, stupid goddamn way to get that message across.

>One and a half feet tall is fucking overkill, you couldn't have been like, at least three feet?
>Or left your dick intact, at least...
>Hands would be goddamn great, still.
>-Christ, this Universe Guy really wanted to fuck you over.
>But of course, the only constant had to, well, remain constant...
>With another sigh, you shake the thought and end up in your kitchen.
>Everything is of course, way too high for you to reach, so you climb onto your kitchen chairs to gain access.
>A simple bowl of cereal.
>You're not in the mood for struggling to make anything else.
>In fact, you never are.
>Cooking is such a fucking hassle, you don't know why you even buy eggs anymore.
>Maybe if there was some ham in this fucking place, you'd be more inclined to do something.
>Mouth on the handle of your gallon of milk, you gently try to pour it.
>Almost immediately, it overflows the bowl and spills.
"FECK!"
>Did you mention you hate being small?
>
>Soggy ass cereal in tow, you sighed your way back into your room.
>At least now, you feel a little better.
>Another thing they at least kept constant was the internet.
>Places here still have straw on their roofs, but they have computers.
>Telephones, but no cars.
>And hell, you've never even seen any wires set up anywhere.
>This place just doesn't make any damn sense.
>Booting your PC up, you lazily slurp on your cinnamon soggy soup while you stare at the screen.
>And by the time the thing loads everything, you're practically already done.
>You tip the bowl, sigh again, and slouch in your chair.
>Your gaze slowly trails over to your side, where another mirror is standing up to face you.
>All you really see is the frown on yourself, the frizzy tail you have hanging behind you, and a big, blank flank.
>...A nice, supple blank flank.
>A shudder crawls down your back as you wink against your chair.
>Really, now that single thought is enough to get you going?
>Fucking hell, how the mighty have fallen...

>Well, not that you were really mighty anyways, save for your height.
>With about the fortieth sigh today, you hop off your chair and move in front of the mirror.
>You force your focus away from your face, and move your rump into view.
>Eh, it needs something...
>Slipping over to your bed, you check under it, then slide a garment over to yourself with a hoof.
>You step into them, slink your hooves through the holes, and quickly slide them onto your flanks.
>Damn, you can tell you've gotten a bit pudgier.
>Glancing back at the mirror, a pair of socks catch your attention.
>Black, just like the panties hugging your everything.
>Right, you used these some days ago.
>Stepping into them, you maneuver your hooves into both and slip them on.
>If only you were half as good at everything else as you are with putting these socks on, life would be a LOT damn easier.
>You pick them up towards your thighs, enjoying the little jiggle it gives when they snap to hug your form.
>But damn, you are getting pudgy.
>Though, not like you have anybody to impress but yourself.
>And you don't mind a little pudge.
>Sauntering over to your mirror, you back your rump towards it again.
>You pick your tail up and out of the way, allowing you to see the deep imprints of your new bits pressed against the fabric.
>Well, not really new at this point.
>But that won't officially be for another twenty years or so.
>You shiver at the thought, and try to refocus with a little swishing of your hips.
>It does more than the trick, and you feel yourself wink.
>And the sight of you winking gets you fired up, so you wink again.
>That's the beauty of this deal, at least.
>You're your own fapping material.
>Spreading your legs, you bring your head towards the ground and shake again.
>You have thoughts of pounding that ass until that pony can't walk, but then you quickly remember, well, yeah.
>Yep, the true beauty of it, alright.

>Though with the thought of pounding in your head, you remember the next thing on your list.
>Your trusty plastic do-gooder.
>Well, you say trusty, but you're not so sure anymore.
>Probably have to make a new one soon.
>You bring out your old compadre, a slightly curved cucumber covered in clear plastic wrap, and its hastily made base.
>Positioning it just in front of the mirror, you're able to see just how big it really is.
>And to think you've taken it all without loosening- a damn miracle, really.
>Maybe it's just not how ponies work here, but you sure as hell doesn't FEEL any looser.
>You take a spot in front of the mirror and lie back on your rump.
>Hind legs against the glass for support, you rub your hoof near the danger zone, seeing your face turn into a brighter shade of red.
>You push the fabric out of way, giving way for your darker green vulva to be seen.
>Both hooves at your disposal, you rub up and down, enjoying the sight of your folds squishing and exposing the pink on the inside.
>Spreading yourself apart, you see that you're already raring to go and completely wet.
>When you wink, a bit of fluids trickle out and down to your ponut.
>-And as much as you'd love to do things to THAT, the sight isn't really worth the pain of it.
>Picking yourself up, you figure it's time now for the main attraction.
>You back up a little to find your target, glancing down every so often to make sure.
>Once you have it, you crouch just a little bit, the tip poking just at your entrance.
>You push past the resistance and feel it slip inside.
"Gaah!"
>Alright, now slowly lower yourself onto-
>Your hind legs slip from the carpet, sinking the thing all the way down.
"NGHH, FUCK!"
>All these different sensations flood your mind at once, paralyzing you for a good few seconds.
>Now you remember why you haven't used the socks in a while.
>You can feel every bump and ridge of the thing inside, every tiny movement sending a wave of pleasure coursing through you.

>Slowly you shimmy over towards the mirror, now getting a good look at yourself.
>You squeeze your thighs together, showing off the damn awesome hips of yours, as well as those tiny little horse tits poking out from your panties.
>Leaning forward a little, you plant your fore hooves on the ground and slowly pick yourself up.
"Ahn~"
>Gotta keep the noises going too, it only makes things more exciting.
>Your vulva hugs against the cucumber tightly, showing off a little pink and proving for an even better view.
"Hhh, oh yes~"
>Your own voice sends a shiver down your back, and you wink against the plastic.
>It's kind of uncomfortable, slightly painful, but it still turns you the hell on.
>It just makes you wish you could get a real toy, but not only would a filly like yourself not be able to do that, but you're not gay.
>Getting one of those big, floppy horse dongs?
>Eugh, seriously.
>Unless they have squishy cucumbers, you're not interested.
>Slowly you bring your rump down, taking all of it down to the base.
>Unf, you take all of it you...
>Ugh, two years and it's still fucking confusing.
>Your eyes trail to their reflection, getting a good look at the needy, horny expression on your face.
>-Without these fucking freckles, you would be perfect.
>Well, by your own standards, at least.
>Lolling your tongue out of your mouth, it really adds to the effect.
>You focus on your hips and keep your eyes relatively center, getting to see the rest of yourself but subconsciously remove the freckles.
>Pulling up a few inches, you drop back down and start a small rhythm.
>Every time it goes back inside of you, there's a nice *schlk* sound that goes with it.
>It's hot as fuck.
>But you know what would be hotter.
"Mmmf, oh, fuck me!"
>Goddamn, yeah, that does it.
>You pick up the speed of your breathing while you bob your ass on the cucumber.
>It doesn't take long 'till you're panting like a dog, rump jiggling up and down slightly.
"Ohhh, yeah!"

>You're mesmerized by the sight of your own flanks, those damn excellent hips, these wonderful thighs smacking the floor, like they should be.
"Hahh, mmm, do me~"
>You feel another shiver down your back.
>Every time you wink, you slow your pace just a little, before going back at it.
>Dear lord if you were human with a fucking filly clone!
>Keeping your breath in tune with your bobbing, a few unexpected squeaks come out of you.
"Oh fuck me, fucking rut me!"
>You feel your coat getting a little warmer while you ride the thing.
>Grinding around the base doesn't really do much in terms of stimulation, but it sure is fucking hot.
>Damn, you use those hips girl.
"Ohhh, fill me, I want it aaall inside me~"
>The cucumber sinks into you and back out, the sloppy, wet sound of getting plowed filling the room.
>You quickly spin at an angle, getting a chance to see yourself from behind.
>Both of your flanks in view, so squeezeable and rubbable, fuck!
>There's a better sight of your nice ass hips, taking the thing like a champ, sinking half of it with every drop.
>You watch as your hind legs do most of the work, the rhythmic movements of your hooves giving that extra boost.
>Your tail flies up, and that sexy ass tail dock is in perfect view as well.
>If only you could rub the fuck out of it.
>That fucking glorious ass moves up and down, riding the cucumber like a fucking champ.
>Your perfectly breedable hips, your plush, round haunches.
"Umph, f-fuck me~"
>All the extra fluids drip down and onto the carpet.
>And if you had a dick, it'd be fucking harder than diamonds.
>-So pretty much, you're getting wet as fuck, from seeing that you're wet as fuck.
>You love the cycle.
"Oh, I want you deep inside me, fuck my horsepussy!"
>Another squeak comes out, and you near the end of the line.
>With that final burst of adrenaline, you pick up speed, not twerking like some fucking thot, but dropping your whole ass onto the thing.
>Picking yourself with your hind legs is easy.

>Probably because of the Earth Pony strength, which you damn for not making life easy, but it sure does make the sex life interesting.
>Well, the masturbatory life, really.
>-Life?
>-FUCK, who cares?!
>Filly ass, that's the fucking focus!
>Losing a bit of that drive, you bring yourself up and sink yourself onto the whole thing, watching your horsepussy take almost the entire thing easily.
>Your walls clamp around the cucumber every time you hilt, making the pull just as satisfying as the drop.
"Unf, y-yess, that's it~"
>A few more squeaks escape you, a little higher in pitch with each bob.
>Throwing your hips in a circle, the small movements bring you closer to the edge and invigorate you.
>Shit, what else would you want a pony to say if you were fucking them?
"...Ohhh, breed the shit out of me! I want your foals!"
>That throws you a bit closer, and you grind the thing again.
>Spinning back around, you face the mirror and pull yourself closer.
>There, you get a better look at the bits of pink showing up.
>The wet, smooth walls of the tightest horsepussy.
>Fuck, oh that does it.
"Oh, cum inside me! Mmmph, cum in meee~"
>That point of no return finally comes by, and your whole body practically seizes up.
"OHHH! AHHH~"
>You grind in a few more circles, grit your teeth while you bob gently to milk everything out of it.
>"Ahhh, hahhh~"
>More fluids drip onto the carpet, and slowly, the high of your orgasm fades.
>What quickly follows is a feeling of shame and bitter disappointment.
>Goddamn it.
>A shiver runs down your back, and you take yourself off of your makeshift toy.
>You push it over to its corner with your hooves, then take a look at yourself in the mirror.
>With your socks and panties on, now you just feel... degenerate, really.
>Shedding both and tossing them under your bed, you leave to go wash your hooves.
>You can wash the cum, but you can never wash the shame, can you?


>Staring at your open medicine cabinet, you look down at your messy hooves.
>After a second of thought, you slowly bring one up and lick the clear fluid on it.
>Still tastes like glaze on a donut.
>Never understand it, but also another bonus.
>Though, the thought of it being your own is kind of what stops you.
>Anybody else though, you'd find a way to bottle it up so you could use it as syrup.
>Mmm, pancakes with this...
>...Well, maybe in the future you will anyways.
>You wash your hooves, avoid all intrusive thoughts, and walk back into your room.
>Nothing more than a glance at the mess you made, and you hop back on your computer chair.
>Time to see the happenings on your good 'ol website.
>You mindlessly browse one of your favorite boards and check through the catalog.
>Still a small following, but it's hard to believe YOU own this shit.
>All this power, you could ban and grace people with your godly presence, any time you wanted.
>But first more ponies need to be involved.
>No talent, this is kinda what keeps the water running.
>You're pretty much exempt from school, but that doesn't mean they let you cash in any checks or anything.
>Very strict rules on that no-Cutie-Mark welfare shit, that's for sure.
>-Well, not really, but it's bullshit that you can't get any of it.
>You don't belong here, you'll never have a damn special talent, so what's the use of waiting and denying you?
>If it weren't for this site, you probably would have been dead already.
>Or worse, thrown in an orphanage or something.
>Shitty laws on that, especially in your case.
>It doesn't matter if you know calculus at your age, have the mind of a fully grown adult.
>You still look like a fucking kid, so you get treated like a fucking kid.
>Fucking fuck this place for that.
>A sigh escapes you.
>Whatever, doesn't matter anymore.
>You're alive, that's really all that should matter.
>Your eyes glance around the huge, dimly lit room.
>Yeah, really living it up, here.

>You turn your focus back to your screen and glance around.
>Check the catalog looking at all the threads.
>One thread stops you in your tracks.
>That shitty fucking transformation thread.
>All these fags, wanting to turn into Griffons and dragons and shit.
>Autistic fucks, who knew even ponies could tread down this path?
>If it weren't for the few bit of threads this site has, you would've axed the shit out of it already.
>Let it gain some steam, bring in the newfags, then you can start moderating.
>Not to say you don't do some of it yourself, but nothing seriou-
>-A loud ring pins your ears back.
>The fuck was that?
>It takes a second, but you recognize the sound as your doorbell.
>Shit, it's been a long time since you've heard it though, that's for damn sure.
>Hopping off, you slowly make your way over to the front door.
>Probably a new mail pony or something.
>Ugh, just drop the letters off, the only time the doorbell was ever rung was when that retard wanted to talk to you.
>She's a cute retard, but cute in the sense that "it's only cute until i have to deal with you".
>She'd just talk and talk, about everything and anything.
>Yeah it'd be nice if you were a normie or something, or actually felt comfortable talking to something other than yourself, but she's the only thing that made you dread mail days.
>Fuck, what if she got the number wrong or something?
>She's just waiting on the other side of that door, ready to talk your ears off.
>The thought makes your soul cringe, and you remember why you wanted to buy another stepping stool.
>Being able to see through that damn peephole really would be useful.
>After the very, very slow walk towards the door, you pull the handle down and peek through the crack gently.
>It seems to be all clear, then a dark green figure pops into view.
>You yelp and fall onto your ass, letting the door swing open to reveal your unexpected guest.
>A small, light green Pegasus filly with a black mane.

>Fluff on her chest and a big, poofy mane, you almost don't believe this isn't a clone of yours.
>But on top of the subtle things, the different shades of green and body, one thing stands out the most.
>The big black question mark on her flank.
>What does that even signify?
>Your eyes scan around her, before meeting on her eyes.
>You both catch each other and stare for a second, then you pull away immediately.
>Standing back up, you slowly move towards her.
"U-uh, can I help you?"
>She shakes her head and blinks.
>"Oh right, I... I met Twig- Princess Twilight, and she gave me this."
>A rolled up scroll comes from under her wing, and she holds it out to you in her mouth.
>Uh.
>You sit and awkwardly grab it between your hooves, dropping it onto the ground and pretending you meant to do that.
>With a hoof you roll it open and gaze at the contents.
>Eyes darting across, you-
>-What.
>You re-read over the lines.
>Then re-re-read over them.
>Fucking WHAT?!
>Is this shit even legal?!
>Again you scan the page.
>Twilight is abusing her Princess powers and saying that since mentally, you're considered an adult, you're to have this filly STAY with you.
>You'll get paid monthly for her being here, but since she was "hoof-picked on your behalf", you either say yes or answer to a court.
>This bitch is taking her princess role way too seriously, this is fucking bullshit!
>You huff, let the thing roll up and crush it with a hoof.
>Fuck this fucking princess shit, where's your old pal democracy to help you out?
>FUCK, this is fucking SHIT!
>Slowly your gaze moves from the ground and upwards, seeing the filly before you shrink a little through your bangs.
>Her expression softens you up a little bit, and you sigh.
>Whatever, you suppose it's not this filly's fault.
>If you were to guess, she's probably just as- well, she clearly IS uncomfortable in her position right now.
>She points a hoof at the scroll.
>"So, ummm... what does it say?

>You kick the scroll over wordlessly, and she wastes no time un-crumpling and reading through it.
>Her eyes widen almost immediately, and she glances your way.
>The fact that she reacted so quickly, the looks on her face though...
>She looks like a filly, but the similarities can't just be coincidence, can they?
>As she scans the page, you try to think of something to say, some kind of subtle test other than, "hey, are you also a human dude stuck as a filly?"
>Though you notice her gaze find yours again, and you realize you've just been staring for a while.
>Her eyes dart away, but with how long you've been looking, you HAVE to say something now.
"...Are you a normie?"
>The second your words leave your mouth, her ears perk up, and her feathers fluff up a little bit.
>"How old are you?"
"-Old enough, how old are YOU?"
>Silence fills the air for a moment, and she paws at the ground.
>"Now? I'm not so sure."
>The uncertainty in that voice...
"Okay, how old WERE you?"
>"T-twenty three."
>Dear lord, he IS stuck like you!
"Twenty seven."
>This new knowledge takes down some barriers, but you're still waiting to get the fuck out of here.
>You mean, look at her.
>Coat bright and soft-looking, mane voluminous and poofy...
>Then there's you, with your matted down fluff, greasy tied down frizz, and your blank flank.
>The thought gives you a new priority, and you find your tail subconsciously cover the easiest side to see.
"W-well, make yourself comfortable or whatever. Bathroom's next to the kitchen."
>Before she can say anything to you, you slip away, using the cover of your couches to sprint towards your room unseen.
>Once you're there, you breathe a little easier.
>But not really.
>This isn't just some visitor, this filly is going to be STAYING with you.
>Nothing is sacred anymore, nothing hidden.
>With a yelp, you run over and hide your cucumber creation.
>Then run back and lock your door.
>Head in your hooves, you sigh.
>Oh fucking hell, this is all FUCKED.

>Christ, and what about during the night?
>Granted you have two extra rooms, but there's no bed or anything!
>And those couches aren't made for sleeping, they're uncomfortable as fuck.
>And you really wouldn't want to lose your bed...
>Well, there's more than enough space for him to be on his own side.
>Maybe just keep some pillows there in the middle, for extra security, you know?
>-Fuck, you only have TWO though.
>FUCK, and you only have ONE blanket!
>It doesn't matter what the damn size of the bed is, the blanket is small as fuck!
>-Whatever, it's fine, you'll live on your fluff.
>That'll probably be warm enough.
>It better be warm enough.
>You slow your breathing and sit down.
>Goddamn it, look at yourself.
>Freaking out over some filly staying here for a little.
>-Okay, not a little though.
>-And not really JUST a filly.
>That doesn't fucking help!
>You take some long, deep breaths, calming your racing heart.
>It's been too long for this shit.
>At any moment for Twilight to do this shit, it had to be when you've just given up on everything.
>No showers, no contact, no problem.
>And now, you're going to have this random guy, lying in the same bed with you, silently judging you and the way of life you've had for YEARS.
>This is bullshit.
>You'd rather just let this filly keep the apartment and buy your own.
>-Great, but knowing Twi, if she's forcing shit like this, she's thought of everything.
>A sigh escapes you, and a soft whine leaves your muzzle.
>If this is some kind of sick nightmare, you wish you'd wake up already.
>You shake your head and feel a shiver run down your back.
>This is fucked.

>...
>Do you walk inside?
>This technically is your home now.
>Your dark as fuck home.
>Couldn't even see where that other filly went, but you heard a door clicking.
>Reaching a hoof slowly onto the carpet, you look around the place.
>The absence of sound and the darkness before you pulls your hoof back.
>Not that you're scared of the dark or anything...

>It just breaks your scary movie laws, which have kept you alive and un-spooked for a very long time.
>For all you know, that filly could be an alien or something, or a demon!
>If other universes exist, god only knows what else is real.
>You re-read the scroll again, then roll it back up under your wing.
>Figures Twiggles would pull some shit like this, man...
>All you wanted to do was stay in the castle, get some snuggles with your waifu.
>Now THIS.
>Even in a dream land, your dreams were just too unrealistic, you guess.
>-Wish she could have at least told you something, though.
>Didn't even get a chance to explain your situation before she sent your ass out here with this royal seal crap.
>"Don't open this, it's very important."
>Like taping a "kick me" sign to someone and telling them they can't look back.
>Damn it Twiggles, some day...
>Shaking your head clear, you slowly steel yourself and take a step inside.
>While it's not pitch black, it certainly is a lot darker than it should be.
>The curtains on those damn windows are doing too well of a job blocking the sunlight.
>Pretty sure that's not healthy.
>Peering over the door slowly, you glance around the walls for a switch.
>You find one behind you, but it's too high up.
>You stand on your back legs, try to balance yourself, and reach a hoof up.
>Nothing, you're just a few inches away from the damn thing.
>Fucking filly-ness, you hate being so damn tiny.
>Your wings flap in frustratio-
>...Oh, right.
>With a few meek flaps, you tag the light switch and fall back on your ass.
>Now the place is poured in light, and you can see what you're dealing with, here.
>You gently close the door, moving over to the center of what you're sure is the living room.
>The couches look stiff and uncomfortable as fuck, and when you wipe your hoof over the table it comes back with a ball of dust.
>It's like a damn layer of snow everything.
>You wipe it on the couch, and your hoof comes up with more dust.
>Fucking hell, how long has this shit been here?!

>This all must've just been never used since it was bought, as everything here is seriously just filthy as fuck.
>Goddamn it, if you're going to be living here, you're not going to be living HERE.
>Or at least you won't be living for long, when you end up with asthma or something.
>You look around for a duster, but nobody grants your wish and spawns one out of mid-air.
>And if the stuff here has gotten this bad, there's probably no way that filly even knows what a duster is.
>Hell, seeing her mane and coat, she might not even know what SOAP is.
>-Alright, that's pretty cruel.
>Sure as hell know you weren't a pretty sight before you arrived here.
>-Before you decided to clean up and become a pretty sight, that is.
>Walking past the couches, you glance over towards the kitchen.
>There's a fuck ton of cabinets and drawers there.
>They all look menacingly at your puny form.
>And you're definitely not comfortable with these wings enough to try and reach those top ones, hell no.
>You shift your gaze towards the doors nearby you.
>Alright, bathroom right next to the kitchen, so this should beee...
>-Yup, the bathroom.
>The first thing you really notice is how bright and new that bathtub looks.
>At least compared to the rest of the place.
>Damn, and you were right about the soap thing.
>Probably have to go and get all this stuff yourself.
>The medicine cabinet is open, and you notice a lonely orange pill bottle sitting inside of it.
>It makes you wince slightly, as you think of the state that filly was in.
>And the way she darted off like that?
>Your eyes stay on the bottle wearily, and you go for a bold move.
>You swipe at it with your hooves, but instead of grabbing it like you thought you would, you smack it out of the cabinet.
>Your greatest fears become realized when you hear a splash.
>Oh shit, don't fucking tell me.
>Leaning over, you see the bottle floating on the toilet's water.

>Without a second thought, you reach a wing over and swipe at it again, hitting it out of the water and into the bathtub.
>Okay, this is better.
>You turn the thing on for a second, letting the water run for an instant before turning it off again.
>Then you just stare at the bottle.
>...You're not picking that shit up with your mouth.
>You sigh and turn back around.
>Not even five minutes here and you're fucking everything up, what a boost to your ego.
>Moving towards the door on the other side of the hallway, you lightly knock.
"I uh, do you have a towel? And a duster? And probably some kind of small container?"
>For a second there's silence, and you figure you probably just asked the closet or something.
>Well the clicking sound was close by, you figured that-
>"-Why?"
>Nevermind.
"Well, I was planning on dusting the place, but the towel and container go hand in hand..."
>You sit and rub your hooves together nervously.
"I-I uh..."
>Should you actually say why, though?
>For a second you stay silent.
"I was trying to get the pills in the bathroom, an-"
>-Well fuck, now you sound like some kind of junkie!
>Who the hell goes into someone's house and raids their medicine cabinet not five minutes after?
"-Because I just, I noticed that they were expired and stuff, I didn't want you to get sick using them or anything, and when I tried to get it it kinda..."
>Great, here it comes.
>The best first impression.
>-Wait, but you asked for a container, too!
>If the pills were fucking "expired", you wouldn't need a container to take them out.
>Hell, and seeing how that was the only bottle there, odds are she knows you're full of shit ANYWAYS!
"-I, nevermind, I'm retarded. Ahaha, just a trick of the eyes, I-I didn't do anything. But about that duster, though?"

>...
>What the hell is going on with this guy right now?
>And what the hell did he do to your pills?
>You sit by the door, hearing him shuffle around.
>...Is he retarded?

>The urge to investigate intensifies, but your anxiety in talking to another living being is worse.
>But the way this guy is talking, you just know he did something.
>You don't know what exactly, but even twenty years experience doesn't hide that guilty tone.
>He's clearly the worst fucking liar ever.
>Your eyes trail towards the ground, and you think for a moment.
>Those pills are your fail-safe, if something happened to them, you HAVE to know!
>Before your brain kicks in, your hoof is already pulling down the door handle.
>You know the filly was on the other side, but for some reason it still startles you.
"What were you saying about the pills?"
>His ears fold back, and he taps his hooves together.
>"Oh, nothing. I was uh, quoting a song."
>Jesus fuck this guy is the worst liar you've ever dealt with in the entirety of BOTH your lives.
>You blink, then walk inside your bathroom.
>Sure enough, your medicine cabinet is now completely empty.
>"Okay, I kinda actually smacked them into the toilet-"
>-Your eyes dart towards the toilet-
>"-Then I hit it into the bathtub instead of grabbing it-"
>-Now you look at the tub-
>"-And I didn't want to pick it up with my mouth, so I-I needed the towel to grab it, and the container to hold the pills in."
>He shrinks when you glance over at him.
>Then you feel the big ass frown on your face.
"And what where you doing trying to get my medication?"
>He stops and closes his mouth.
>Then just stays silent, avoiding your gaze.
>Christ, you don't know a thing about this guy, but he's already annoying you.
>You think those barriers that broke down was a bit of your worry about this one.
>He might be cleaner, he might look better- and he might be a damn human-turned-filly like you, but you got the thing that counts the most.
>Experience.
>And already this kid's looking like, well a kid, instead of a peer to you.
>There's a big ass change going from twenty three to twenty seven, and that's never been so obvious to you until now.

>The way he shrinks under your gaze helps dispel some of that fear, too.
>Also the fact that he's a filly.
>You mean, you're obviously a filly too, but even now you've just always... felt human, if that makes sense.
>Not to mention that he's a smaller filly than you, probably mostly because of your hips-
>-Fear crawls back into your form, and your whole stature crumbles.
>Glancing back at him, you wave a hoof.
"Duster's in the bottom cabinet, far right. Go!"
>Like an obedient pup, he does as you ask.
>Christ, he really is just a kid.
>-The fact that you're both literally kids notwithstanding.
>Leaning over the tub, you notice the small amber bottle waiting beside the drain, wet but surprisingly okay.
>You go and yank the sink towel in your mouth, a bit disgusted to feel how crusty it is.
>When's the last time you washed this fucking thing?
>The thought almost makes you gag, but you push on.
>It's not like you don't know where your hooves have been, anyways.
>Quickly you bite down on the bottle through it, and haul ass to your room.
>You spit it out onto the floor, shut the door again, and lock it.
>At least with the duster thing, you're sure he won't be bothering you for a while.
>Well, hopefully.
>Now, about some kind of replacement container.
>And clearly a new spot in your room to have them.

>...
>You find the duster exactly where she told you, one of the bottom cabinets.
>Still in its packaging, clearly old, but you're not sure how old.
>And as you walk back towards the living room, you start to catch more things all covered in dust.
>Oh man, this is going to take some hardcore cleaning.
>Wish you had music or something...
>Maybe-
>-No, you should probably just, back off for now.
>She seemed pretty pissed about the bottle, and well, you're getting too ahead of yourself here.
>Shouldn't mess with her business, just because you're staying.
>And since this room clearly hasn't been her business for quite a while, you're going to clean the hell out of it.

>
>Sheesh, that took a LOT longer than you thought it would.
>But you're done.
>The kitchen and living room are clean and free of dust.
>Top shelves, top of the fridge- the top of everything is also clean.
>Tossing the last worn down duster thing, you sigh and smile at your handiwork.
>The place looks brighter now already.
>Never would've known that couch was actually red until you did something about it.
>But now it's nice, it's clean, and it's breathable.
>Seriously, glad you don't have asthma or something.
>Hopping onto one of the couches, you can't help but test the cushion beneath you.
>Spin slightly to find the perfect spot, and there we go.
>You sit in front of a TV that wasn't even plugged in.
>Brand new, not a single mark on the screen or anything.
>Seriously, what's the point of getting all this stuff just to not use it?
>Better yet, what kind of income does this filly have where she can just buy couches and a TV, then never use them?
>If they were yours, you would've sold them quite a while ago.
>With a shrug to yourself, you turn the thing on and-
>-Actually, you're kind of hungry.
>Quickly hopping off again, you walk over to the kitchen, pleased with how clean everything looks now.
>And opening up the fridge, there's soda, milk, eggs...
>That's it, soda, milk and eggs.
>Well, and some hot sauce.
>You check the eggs, and what do you know, the carton says it expired like, last year.
>The only other thing outside the fridge is a box of cinnamon-flavored cereal.
>...Is this seriously all she's been eating?
>Like, all the time, every day?
>It's not like there's anything else here, not from what you can see, at least.
>How do you just eat cereal ALL the time?
>That's no way to live!
>Skipping over to her room, you gently tap on the door.
>Then you realize you don't even know her name.
>Might as well just call her 'twenty seven'.
>"Hmmm."
>You can hear the grumble in her voice.
>Shit, did you wake her up?

"I uh, well I noticed that there isn't exactly food in the fridge or anything. Did you want me to go grab some groceries or something?"
>There's a moment of silence.
>"There's cereal next to it."
"Yeah, but that's it. I mean, is cereal all you eat?"
>You shut your mouth right as the words leave you.
>You're getting too involved again.
>If she wants to just eat cereal, you should leave her be and accept that.
>A door click cuts through your train of thought, and it opens slightly.
>She sticks her muzzle out, dropping a small bag with a *chink*.
>"There, go get food or whatever. That's more than enough."
>You'll say.
>That's a pretty hefty-looking bag.
"Where are the shops and stuff here?"
>"The shops're closed."
"Oh. So then where would I go?"
>"There's restaurants."
"...Where?"
>"Ask some ponies."
"Where should I ask?"
>"I don't fucking know, just take the bits and do whatever, I don't care!"
>The door shuts.
>For a moment you eye the bag, thinking things over.
>If you went somewhere, you'd feel kind of bad not getting her anything.
>And who knows how far any restaurants are from here?
>Walking around in the dark, asking ponies where a good restaurant is?
>Ponyville might be safe, but you don't think you want to take any chances finding that out.
>Not only that, but you were stopped by plenty of ponies just coming here in the first place.
>'Are you lost, little filly?' 'Excuse me, where are your parents?'
>Like, who cares?
>You shake your head and nudge the bag a little closer to the door.
"I'll just get some cereal, instead. S-sorry for bothering."
>Turning away, you realize how many more brownie points you just lost.
>Well shit, as if you had any before.
>Now you're just into the negatives, here.
>...Man that makes you feel like shit.
>Alright from now on, just keep to yourself.
>Don't bother her, don't mess with her stuff, and it'll be fine.
>With a nod and a new goal, you walk over to the kitchen.
>You like cinnamon anyways, maybe it's not so bad.

>...
>
>It's been a while since you snapped at your new roomie.
>You didn't really mean to, and after you finished your sleep, being right now, the shit feeling has just been non-stop.
>He's just a kid, and you're sure he didn't ask for any of this, same as you.
>While the pill thing still leaves you a little salty, all the pills survived anyways.
>The biggest thing is just why he did what he did, but you doubt it was out of malice.
>With a sigh, you move an inch from your bed, then stop in your tracks.
>Man, and the way he sounded when he said he'd just have some cereal.
>Seriously, adults or not, it's hard to hide any emotion in these bodies.
>If your eyes aren't saying anything, your ears will for you.
>Practically inescapable.
>You sigh again.
>What should you even say?
>You're not really good with apologies or anything...
>Big emphasis on 'or anything'.
>For a while you simply stare at your bed, eyes sinking past it.
>You glance over at the curtains, clearly night on the other side of them.
>With a bit of self-motivation and a deep breath, you find yourself off the bed and slowly opening your door again.
>It's clear in the kitchen, though there's light and sound coming from your living room.
>Guess your TV's plugged in, now.
>Would've been better as another monitor, but of course ponies don't put much thought into computers as anyone else back home.
>Well, at least it's being used now.
>And at least it was free.
>Your gaze faces the floor, and you bring your bag of bits into the room.
>...Hopefully Twilight will be paying good for all this.
>Something tells you that one hundred bits every three months won't be enough for the both of you.
>Well, it COULD, but he shouldn't be living off of the same shit as you.
>You know, not exactly healthy and all that.
>Peeking your head out of the room, you glance over the living room, where a blob of green and black sits in front of your TV.

>Taking another step outside, you suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable.
>Age and all that, but this is uncharted territory here.
>Might as well be asking him out on a date, that's how damn nervous you feel right now.
>But you push on, knowing that if you don't do this shit now, it's just going to get worse.
>And it'd be better to apologize here, instead of waiting and having it become awkward later.
>As you take another step, you notice his head dip.
>He picks it back up, blinking a few times before doing it again.
>His eyes roll around slightly, and that's when you notice the space around you.
>It's all clean.
>ALL of it.
>These couches, the table, it all looks like it did when you first arrived here.
>Jesus, how long did all of this take?
>That shit feeling growing in your gut, it pushes you forward and just in front of him.
"...Hey."
>He jumps a little, rubbing his eyes with a hoof before focusing on you.
>"Uh, y-yeah?"
>Your mouth opens, then slowly closes again.
>Ears flatten, and you softly sigh.
"I just uh... I w-wanna say I'm sorry. For earlier and... well pretty much everything earlier."
>You scratch your head with a hoof and avoid eye contact.
>And an awkward silence quickly fills the air.
>The TV might be on, but it doesn't mean it isn't awkward for YOU.
>"No, it's fine... Everything was kind of my fault, anyways."
>Looking over the couch, you try to hop on it to be eye level, but end up with only half of yourself on it, your ass and hooves dangling off the edge.
>Now you remember why you never used these fucking couches.
>He moves to help you out, but with the adrenaline surge of not wanting to look like a dumbass any longer, you make it.
>Once up there, you start to feel your heart speed up a little.
>This is the closest you've been to another living thing in... a very long time.

>The closed distance, and the change of now being eye level quickly makes you nervous.
>Sitting down, you subtly back up from him.
"No, I had no right to be as dick-ish as I did. And, I think it'd be best for both of us if we kinda just... started over?"
>He gently nods, and you extend a hoof out to him.
>You realize what you've done, and slowly close the distance between, touching his hoof against yours.
"I'm Anon."
>"I'm... well, also Anon."
>Figures.
>You force a smile on your face and pull your hoof away, feeling at least a little more comfortable in your position.
"Well, Also Anon, I kind of saw you knocking out back there. I-I, well, my bed has plenty of r-room. Just, you know, so you're not sleeping out here. These couches are pretty terrible."
>He pokes them with a hoof.
>"Ha yeah, they're not really the best..."
>His gaze meets yours, and he rubs his hooves.
>"Are you sure, though? I mean I really don't mind just being here."
>You nod, though you're not so sure yourself.
"It's only fair."
>He thinks for a second, before letting out a small yawn.
>"O-okay, yeah, if you don't mind."
>With another nod, you hop onto the ground, and he turns the TV off, the soft patter of hooves following behind you.
>As you close the distance towards the door, you try to think if you've got everything cleaned in your room.
>Well, not that there's really much to clean in the first place.
>You step in first and confirm that it's good, then wait for Anon to walk in.
>Close the door behind him, and wait until he climbs onto the bed.
>With his wings, he has zero trouble hopping on it.
>And at least here, without having a damn coffee table near your back legs, you do too.
>You take your spot on the opposite side of him, leaving the blanket to him.
>"Don't you want the blanket?"
"No, it's fine. I have thick fluff."
>Though you don't, and it's actually a lot colder than you thought it'd be already.
>Damn it.

>
>The nervousness of sharing a bed, as well as the fact you slept prior to this, has kept you up.
>For how long, you're not sure, but it's felt like hours have gone by already.
>Your computer beckons, but you're not going to be able to use it without waking Anon up.
>Could always leave the room, but you don't trust these clumsy hooves to open it silently, and even then, what could you do?
>So you lie there, staring at your ceiling fan and trying to ignore the cold.
>And yeah, it has gotten pretty damn cold.
>That fan barely does anything, mostly there for noise, but the air outside is probably freezing.
>Therefore, you're freezing.
>You glance over at the filly snug under the blanket, wings relaxed and breathing softly.
>There's actually quite a bit of blanket space left...
>Maybe you could just, shimmy a little bit.
>Anything to get out of this cold.
>Slowly, you scoot yourself near, growing more anxious as the distance between closes.
>Keeping an eye on his own, you hope for the love of Satan that he doesn't wake up.
>Though it's dark enough that you'd be able to just pass it off as you moving around in your sleep or something.
>Slowly but surely, you pull up the blanket and wriggle yourself in there.
>Immediately it becomes nice and warm, the heat of the filly beside you and the blanket proving to be a nice combo.
>Though in the time it took you to slip under, a blast of cold seems to hit Anon, if his slight shivering is anything to go by.
>While you try to secure the blanket over yourself and block out the cold, you feel him move around and-
>-Hooves pull you closer.
>Before you can do anything but let out a soft gasp, everything happens in one quick motion.
>Your back is pressed up against her chest, her hooves hug around your barrel, wings spread over you, and his back hooves hold under yours.
>You stay paralyzed with fear, unsure of what to do, how to even react.
>Your first touch in... years.

>A shiver runs down your back, then kind of just, stays there.
>You feel your heart pick up its pace, but the rest of yourself relax.
>Every part of your body gets that weird static feeling, like it's all fallen asleep for a second.
>Your cheeks warm considerably, and without a single thought you feel your eyes watering up.
>You're hugged a little tighter, sending those shivers down your body and forcing another small gasp out of you.
>It's like your body is numb with... warmth.
>With comfort and safety...
>You can't dare to process these feelings, but they're intoxicating.
>And holy fuck, you need more.
>Without a clear thought in mind, you gently turn around to face her, then wrap your hooves around her chest.
>You cross your hind legs with hers, just a slight angle away from scissoring her.
>-And now you have a little more familiar feeling.
>Her forehead rests on yours, her soft breathing tickling your face and warming your cheeks a little more.
>Fluff pressed on your chest, never in your life have you ever felt so comfortable before.
>A wonderful feeling you've never had washes over you.
>Your ears pin back, tears fall down your face, and you shut your eyes.
>There's no sobbing, no choked up, heaving breaths.
>Just tears, and a big smile on your face.
>This is what you've been missing your whole life, what you've always been wanting.
>This is what you've NEEDED.
>The thought rests in your mind, until a few unwanted ones show up.
>You don't feel you deserve this.
>To feel so... comfortable.
>Even then, it's not like Anon here is willingly doing anything.
>You kind of just, forced yourself onto him.
>Bits of sadness clash with the smile on your face, but you don't dare to pull away.
>You never want to pull away.
>Just lying here for hours, not a care in the world...
>There isn't a single better alternative you could ever think of.
>Another soft sigh leaves you, the dull aches of your years vanishing.
>Leaving nothing but a big smile on your face.

>
>You wake up mid-snore, feeling groggy as fuck.
>No doubt from the amount of oversleeping you've done.
>Shit, you fell asleep!
>Quickly blinking the tired-ness away, you see that you're still in the same spot as you were yesterday.
>Still hugging Anon here, still being hugged by him and those wings.
>Shit, and you can already see the bit of light coming from that window behind you.
>It's no doubt morning already.
>Even the slightest bit of too much movement could wake him u- OH FUCK!
>Dark green eyes, blinking and looking around.
>They look down and to the sides, before stopping on yours, hiding wide behind your greasy mane.
"...Uh, I..."
>He pulls back immediately, wings folding while he slips out of the blanket.
>"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, honest!"
>You can only lie there and stare at him with confusion, suddenly feeling cold and empty, even with the blanket over you.
>"I-it's a problem of mine, I just, I can't sleep without holding something, and I-I thought I wouldn't, but I-"
"-No, it's fine! -I mean, uh, don't worry about it, dude. No big deal or anything."
>He relaxes slightly, and you just wish the right words would come out.
>That you could just say how much you really enjoyed being pressed up against that fluff.
>That it's the first time you haven't felt truly alone here, like some kind of pathetic outcast.
>That you definitely wouldn't mind doing it every single night, and even for some hours during the day.
>But nothing else comes out, and you just lie there, staring blankly at your bed.
>You quickly hop out of the blanket and onto the ground.
"Well, I'm going to get s-some cereal."
>And you leave the room, right before you start to tear up again.
>Goddamn it, it was just some cuddling.
>Who cares, you don't need it!
>You don't need it, and you don't need Anon.
>He's just staying here, he's just going to be your guest for a while, that's it.
>Just worry about yourself, let him do his thing, and you'll do yours...

>You quickly rub your eyes with a hoof and take a shaky breath.
>Goddamn it, why is this affecting you so much?!
>It's like a cuddling one-night stand, just fucking get over it!
>The hell are you even crying over?
>And WHY are you crying?
>You're a grown man, damn-
>...Damn it...
>Feeling your ears pin against your head, you try to push them back up with a hoof.
>Of course, they're not having any of that shit.
>So you walk your ass towards the fridge and focus on your breakfast instead.
>Well, TRY to, with this blurry vision.
>An all to familiar wave of sadness washes over you, numbing your body for a second and making you shudder.
>Just as it ends, you hear your bedroom door click open.
>Your ears perk back up, and you wipe your eyes again.
>Focus on pouring the cereal, and the soft clip-clopping of hooves grow near.
>Then it's silent.
>And though you're watching your cereal, you can feel him looking over at you.
>"...Anon?"
"M-mmm?"
>You can hear him tapping his hooves together.
>"I just... I'm sorry. For all the times I've messed up already. I mean, I try not to, but you see how well I do."
>Messed up?
>YOU messed up, YOU'RE messed up!
>It's the reason why you're here in the first place, why you're fucking living like this!
>Setting the cereal down, you pick the milk up and set it on the counter.
"You haven't done anything wrong, Anon. Don't worry about it."
>It takes a tremendous amount of will to keep your voice from cracking, and it leaves you a bit shaky instead.
>You're not even doing anything, not even looking at the guy, you don't understand why you're so jittery all of a sudden.
>"N-no, I have! Th-the pill thing, when I woke you up, this morning- I keep getting in your way, and I'm so, so sorry about that..."
>That comment drops your ears again.
>Getting in your way?
>Are you kidding?
>You'd want nothing more than for him to be in your way, all the fucking time.
>Certainly make things easier.

>If you could just stop fucking around, things could probably get better.
>Imagine a future with Anon here, playing games everyday, watching shows and movies together, cuddling every night...
>-No, that's fucking gay, damn it!
>Even though you kind of cuddled already.
>And oh man, that...
>A whine escapes you, and you pass it off as yawning.
"Look, dude, you haven't done shit by my standards. You're cool, you're fine, don't worry about it. Now, y-you want some cereal?"
>"I... yes, please."
>His answer almost makes you giddy, and these damn conflicting feelings are everywhere.
>On one hand, you just want to hug the shit out of this filly.
>You want to hold her, just lie in each other's embraces, and feel like you're actually worth something for once.
>On the other hand, you want to fuck off, because it's gay, you haven't showered in a long ass time, and you're not worth the attention.
>That thought makes you shudder again.
>You glance up at your black, greasy mane.
>Feel the freckles burning your face.
>Your ears flop again, and your body shrinks while you're pouring his cereal.
>On that hand, he's got other, better people to find.
>A brighter future than you.
>You shouldn't have forced him to look at your ugly ass face anyways.
>Once the milk is in your mouth, you start to shake more.
>It overflows and spills on your counter.
>Fuck.
>You set the milk down and spin around, but before you can take the first step, Anon's already flapping those wings and wiping it up.
>Look at you, can't even pour fucking milk right...
>You let your bangs hang over your eyes and pick your bowl up.
"Th-thenks."
>And once he's done cleaning, you're already back in your room.
>But technically now, it's BOTH of your rooms.
>Should look into getting another bed for him, and soon.
>The quicker you split the space, the quicker it'll be 'till you're forgotten.
>Then you can continue your comfy existence here.
>Just chilling around, doing whatever.
>All...
>All by yourself...

>While your thoughts simmer in your head, you stare blankly at your computer screen.
>This is all just a vicious cycle, isn't it...
>You shift in your seat, bringing your hips closer together as your hooves rest on the desk.
>Glancing in the mirror next to you, you don't see big flanks.
>Just your same, terrible face.
>Your cold, tired eyes.
>The small wrinkles under them, made from countless nights awake.
>More impurities upon an already imperfect face.
>Living amongst ponies that are ALL perfect.
>Your gaze moves from the mirror and onto the monitor.
>In the reflection, you get the same thing.
>Those big, sad green eyes.
>Ears pinned down, surrounded by a head of limp, unwashed hair.
>You turn away a second time, taking to just staring at your desk.
>...Just like home.
>Eyes beginning to water up again, you curse yourself for being this weak.
>Being this broken, this... terrible at everything.
>The universe really is cruel.
>Dooming you to the same, unfulfilling existence not once, but TWICE?
>You mean shit, what is the point of it?
>What's the point of making you suffer more, besides the fun of watching it?
>You're proven worthless across worlds, so what is there to gain by having you waste space in both?
>Your posture worsens, another wave of sadness washing over you.
>Numbing you, because you've already felt it so many times before...
>Looking down at your hooves, another soft whine leaves your muzzle.
>Maybe...
>Maybe you WEREN'T supposed to be here.
>A glitch in the system, the weird Matrix shit that's probably at play, here.
>You mean... Anon is literally you.
>Just, better.
>Younger, wings- hell, he even has a Cutie Mark, the only thing that really matters here.
>You, you're just...
>Well, as it stands, you're the discount Anonfilly.
>The generic knock-off from China.
>The expendable one.
>As the first few tears fall, slowly your eyes move towards the drawer next to you.

>Maybe...
>Shakily, your hoof makes its way over.
>You don't even feel it, like you're not even in control.
>It rests on the handle.
>Anon's your replacement.
>The mistake's been fixed, and he's here to take his rightful place.
>You mean, what purpose do YOU serve here?
>Your impact on this world is a degenerate website.
>In all the years you've lived here, just a single, damned website...
>The drawer opens, your eyes glazing over the contents.
>Just yesterday, you almost lost these things.
>All the time you've spent saving up for them, and they were almost flushed down the damn toilet, just like that.
>Something else could happen to them.
>Then what?
>Specially made, super expensive- you wouldn't be able to do anything for at least another year.
>But...
>If you just...
>For a long moment, you just stare.
>You shudder again.
>Years upon years you've been here.
>Nothing to your existence besides, well, existing.
>No friendships, no interests, nothing to be proud of.
>...Would anybody even miss you?
>Your mind frantically searches itself, trying to come up with a single name.
>Someone, anyone...
>But you just come up blank.
>Another wave crashes over you, making your hooves shake as they close in and scoop up the capsules.
>Nobody will care, nobody will remember.
>In place of Anon here, nobody will even know you went missing.
>Your ears pin against your head hard enough to make hearing difficult.
>While your vision blurs, you drop them on your desk and hop off.
>Digging under your bed, your drag out your dusty black hoodie.
>Edgy, just like you're being, but it's also cold out.
>You push the pills onto your hoof, then stuff them in your chest pocket.
>For a second you just stand and look at yourself.
>Your breathing is heavy, your eyes sad.
>Mane still filthy, coat still matted down.
>Slowly, your gaze falls.
>...You never deserved a second chance.

>With your posture sagging, you glance around your room.
>A bed, a desk and a mirror.
>Nothing to miss, really.
>Another soft whine leaves you, and you curse yourself for it.
>Slowly your hooves move on their own towards your door.
>You gently open it up and walk out into the living room.
>There you see Anon, watching TV and lost in thought, a bowl of cereal beside her.
>Sneaking around, you creep behind the couches and over towards the door.
>But the second your hoof nears it, you hear some shuffling.
>"...Where are you going? You need help?"
>You try to force a neutral look on your face, but your ears are being defiant as always.
"No, I'm just going to talk to Twilight."
>Before she can say anything, you open and slink outside of the place.
>No more shuffling, she bought it.
>Good...
>Your hooves work on autopilot, gently tapping against the ground and down the stairs of the building.
>You push the entrance open, feeling the chilly autumn breeze nipping at the exposed parts of your body.
>Should have worn the socks, too.
>Could've sworn the last time you were here it was spring.
>The large town street spans ahead of you, leading towards the busy parts where you see ponies walking and flying about.
>Your posture crumbles, and you stray off of the path and onto the dying grass.
>You walk quickly, feeling eyes all over your body until you clear a hill.
>The second the air around you is silent, you feel better.
>Calmer.
>A familiar spot catches your eyes, and your mind stays blank as you make your way towards it.
>A small patch of trees, just by the Everfree.
>Normally giving a nice shade, now looking perfect to stop this wind from freezing you.
>The only thing you can hear is the air, and your breathing.
>No intrusive thoughts, no background noise.
>Just you and nature.
>As you've always liked it, despite your normal routines.
>But that was before.
>Before your computer, before the pills...
>Before you really lost hope.

>Before you know it, you're in your regular spot between the trees.
>Though with the lack of leaves, the lack of lush, green grass, it doesn't feel like it.
>Symbolism, you guess.
>As you sit on the dirt, a sigh escapes you.
>You rest your back on a tree, and your gaze falls.
>It stays on the ground, and you don't get that familiar, serene feeling you always used to being here.
>Everything is wrong.
>Even with the wind being blocked, it's still cold and empty.
>It's not reminiscent of the nature scene you remembered.
>It's just... lifeless.
>You bring your thighs together, tucking your hooves in between them for warmth.
>When you got these pills, you thought the scene here would be much different.
>Warm, but cool, the perfect temperature.
>The soft grass, the nice bit of shade.
>Just take the hoof-full, lie back, and let them take you.
>Surrounded by soothing nature, no regrets with your choice.
>...Guess that was just too much to ask.
>This all is just making you anxious.
>You don't want to be here.
>You don't want to still be cold, sitting by yourself in the dirt like this.
>You don't want to be here another minute.
>Hooves shaking from the cold, you fish around in your pocket and hold up the contents to your face.
>All seven accounted for.
>There used to be eight, but you had to know they'd do the job.
>And shit, with how knocked out just one left you, you know these will work.
>They were made for a full grown stallion, after all.
>Staring at the blue capsules in your hoof, you just think.
>Thoughts whizzing all around your head, just like they did the last time.
>But the fact that there even WAS a last time is what makes it worse.
>With your luck, you'll be stuck doing this forever.
>Jumping from universe to universe.
>Everything different, but the constant is you.
>You unconsciously lick one up, then the weight of the choice pushes you forward.
>Tilting your head back, you dump the rest in your mouth, and swallow.
>No return.

>It doesn't take long at all until you feel your head spinning.
>Looking back and forth, your vision feels weird.
>Things move around like you're buzzed.
>Instead of a smooth motion, things start to look odd, like life is moving frame by frame.
>There's a ringing in your ears, and as you pull away from the tree trunk, things quickly start to feel... distant.
>Moving towards a small patch of grass, you lazily drop onto it and curl yourself up.
>You tuck your hooves in, pull your hood up, and rest your head on the ground.
>Your eyes stay staring forward, gazing at the hill you just finished crossing.
>While it's not what you had expected, the scene before you is nice.
>A hill, the gently clouded skies above...
>It reminds you of that one Windows background.
>Your eyes feel heavy, and your hind legs quickly grow numb.
>Slowly all you feel is just... warmth.
>Nice, comforting warmth.
>You push past the panic and just let it happen.
>This is it, it's over.
>No more pain, no more heartache.
>No more sleepless nights, tossing and turning.
>No worries, no thoughts, no shudders.
>Even on the ground, your head continues to spin.
>But you feel a little something extra, and your vision blurs.
>Your breathing picks up its pace, and your body is wracked with tears.
>...But why are you sad?
>This is good.
>This is for the best.
>This is... what you wanted.
>Isn't it?
>Something small moves before your eyes, but it doesn't process correctly.
>It doesn't matter, anyways.
>Nothing matters.
>Not, nothing, else.
>With a heavy breath, you can't force your eyes open anymore.
>It's too difficult.
>You're just too tired.
>Too...

>
>Your eyes slowly peel open.
>Staring at a patch of white, suddenly a whole picture paints itself before your eyes.
>You're in a hospital bed.
>You feel completely exhausted, drained of all energy.
>Trying to move your hooves is difficult, and you spot an IV hooked into one of them.
>Breathing is just as hard, and you have to suck down slow, shallow breaths.
>But why are you here?
>You... you shouldn't be here.
>What went wrong?
>"Anon? A-Anon!"
>A green and black blur moves on the side of your bed, fore-hooves barely reaching the top.
>It takes you a few seconds to fully understand that she's there.
>To make sure she wasn't an illusion or something.
"W... why?"
>She seems confused by your words, but says nothing.
>You close your eyes in shame, feeling too weak to turn your head away.
>It sneaks up on you, and before you know it, you're crying, tears falling from your pathetic face.
>Figures you couldn't be done this easily.
>That all-seeing figure WANTS you to stay here.
>It wants nothing more than to see you suffer.
>Your head hangs as you try to forget the filly in the room.
>You're crying for YOU, but it just won't stop.
>The sobs sound as feeble as you feel, and you keep your eyes as tightly shut as you can.
>Can't even kill yourself right.
>The first time was easy, you had a weapon.
>This, this is just pathetic...
>One of your gasps comes out with a squeak, as you feel a weight on yourself.
>Slightly peering an eye open, in front of you is just black and green.
>Despite the numbness everywhere, you feel her hooves wrapping around you.
>You feel her wings hugging your sides.
>And more importantly, you feel her nuzzling you, burying her head under your chin.
>She doesn't say a single word, and even with the vague feeling of pressure and numbness, you shudder.
>Your sobs quiet into soft wheezes and some tears.
>Unspoken prayers being answered, she slips under the covers and warms the rest of your body.
>"I couldn't... I'm sorry..."

>She makes way for all the wires and things plugged into you, making sure that not a single one is disturbed.
>Her words sink in.
>They upset you greatly.
>You want nothing more than to lash out.
>To rip these things out, go back home and lock yourself in your room.
>To yell at her for ruining your possibly only chance at peace.
>But you can't.
>On top of physically not being able to, you just... can't.
>It's not her fault.
>If anything, you were the stupid one for not moving into the forest.
>Anybody else could have seen you from that spot, any other Pegasus.
>Stupid you.
>Damn it, stupid you...
>A few more tears fall, and she tightens her hold in response.
>"Shhh, it's okay..."
"It's... not."
>You should have been done here.
>You could have been free, damn it!
>Anon shuts her eyes on your form.
>Eyes fixing on your IV, impulse quickly takes over.
>Bringing your shaky hoof over to your mouth, you bite on the tube and try to wiggle it out.
>The tape holds, and you manage nothing besides a bit of blood and pain in your hoof before Anon notices.
>"Anon, no!"
>It takes little effort for her to take the thing away from your mouth.
>The tears keep running, and you manage a sad glare.
"J-jus, lemme go."
>Your breaths become even more labored, words even weaker.
"Lemme die..."
>She quickly shakes her head, her own eyes tearing up as she holds her hooves on your cheeks.
>"No! Anon, I, I know where you're coming from, but this isn't the answer!"
>'Know where you're coming from'?
>BullSHIT!
>You wish you could speak normally and give her a piece of your mind.
>ESPECIALLY now.
>Ruined your living space, ruined your sleep, now THIS?
>What is this guy's fucking problem?!
>"I know you feel like everything is turned against you. Like everything is just going wrong at once. But I'm here for you. I'm here to listen, I'm here to help, I'm here so you don't have to feel alone anymore..."
"O-only YOU, are against me."

>She stops.
>Slowly she pulls her hooves away, looking confused.
"I-it was... MY choice."
>You shut your eyes, letting the tears stream down your face.
>She's not going to understand.
>HE's not going to understand.
>Still too young, as naive as the body he's trapped in.
>All the shit you've dealt with, these countless years living in despair...
>Nobody will understand.
"Just... leave."
>Her eyes stay on you for a moment, disbelieving.
>You move your own away, staring down at the floor.
>Then surprisingly, you feel her do just that.
>Slinking out from the covers, hopping off of the bed, she settles again into the seat next to you.
>But of course... she can't just go completely.
>Of course.
>The cold of the covers makes your body shudder.
>Stupid, seeing how you can barely feel anything.
>Your eyes stay stuck to the ground while you think.
>You wish this filly would just leave you.
>Why does she have to be here, to be near you?
>You've gone decades alone, you don't need this.
>You can deal with your own problems, take care of yourself.
>-Right on cue, a lock of your greasy mane falls in front of your face.
>Pulling the covers up weakly, you shrink into the bed.
>This could have been it.
>It could have been over.
>You glance again at your IV.
>If you're awake right now, the majority of those pills have probably been flushed out already.
>Ripping the thing out probably wouldn't do much but hurt more and stain your coat.
>Ears pinning against your head, the weight of everything bears down on you.
>Never before have you ever felt so hopeless before.
>So vulnerable.
>And even in this weak, frail body...
>This hopelessness, this shame you're feeling, everything just seems worse now than it did before.
>Much worse.
>Something nearby clicks, and you hear a door creaking open.
>Breath getting caught in your throat, you shrink as hooves make their way towards you.
>And to add insult to injury...
>It's none other than your old waifu, Princess Twilight Sparkle.

>You're left speechless, and the mare's eyes lock right onto yours.
>Her ears fall, eyes already glistening a bit.
>You turn your face away and shut your own, feeling her gaze all over you.
>Silence fills the air quickly, only broken by the soft beeping of the machine beside you.
>This isn't at all what you wanted your interactions with her to be.
>On top of being a filly in the first place, she's... she wasn't supposed to see you like this.
>Then again, nobody was.
>A soft, shaky breath comes out of her.
>"I... I don't e-even know what to say."
>Gently opening your eyes, you see that she's already in tears, drops falling to the ground silently.
>It just makes you feel even worse.
>"Anon, I..."
>She sighs, then glances over at the Pegasus beside you.
>Without a word, she hops off of the seat, and slowly makes her way out.
>Well, at least there's that.
>Your own eyes grow wet again, and as you hear the click of a door, Twilight slowly steps closer to you.
>"...Why?"
>She scoots the chair over to the bed, sits down and rests her hooves on the bed.
>"Anon told me that- that you did this on purpose."
>...Damn him.
>You could have played this all off.
>'Oh, silly filly me, got into some pills, I thought they were vitamins or something.'
>She brings herself even closer, pressing her body against the bed and putting a hoof on yours.
>"Why would... wh-why would you...?"
>One look at her expression is just painful.
>Seeing how easily you got the pills in the first place, you doubt anything like this has ever happened.
>Perfect world, perfect ponies, why would it?
>Her eyes are completely filled with worry, just so confused, searching your gaze fruitlessly for an answer.
>You just want to curl back up and be alone.
>Be forgotten again, just how you were before Anon came here.
>Damn you for not doing this all sooner.
>Damn you for not planning it out more.
>...Damn you for being this much of a failure.

>The silence is deafening.
>Why did you have to be here, to just fail and hurt others like this?
>If it worked, nobody would have noticed.
>You would've been free, everyone would've been happy-
>"A-Anon, please, talk to me."
>Her words pull you out of your head, and your eyes hide behind your mane.
>You feel yourself shudder again, a stronger feeling than the one before it.
>As you hesitantly turn towards her, the first tears fall onto your coat.
"I'm sorry, Twilight."
>Her ears pin against her head, hearing your weak, raspy voice.
>"No, no, don't be sorry, it's, I..."
"-I wasn't meant for this world, t-to be here."
>"Yes you are, you have a purpose, a-a whole future-"
>You quickly shake your head.
"No, I don't."
>"I-"
>You bring a hoof up, and she slowly quiets.
>Compared to the first time you talked, now she seems completely different.
>Like this all really is affecting her.
>You didn't mean for this.
>You didn't want this.
"Back on Earth... I was nothing. Here... nothing has changed, besides this."
>Motioning your hooves around your body, she watches them intently, like they hold the answers to the universe.
"I know, it might be hard to get it, but... I'm part of the bad batch. Here, everyone has something, someone to care for."
>She quickly wipes her eyes clear, only to make way for more tears.
"I never have. And I've accepted it."
>"But that's not true! You have tons of ponies that care for you- I care for you! Everypony can be happy, everypony can find their way, it just takes-"
"-I don't HAVE a way. I... I was never happy before, and I can't be here."
>A sigh leaves you.
"I know it's hard to understand. But I made the choice before... and I had no regrets."
>Her mouth opens, but nothing comes out.
>She clearly looks conflicted, eyes locked on yours, almost seeing past you in thought.
>Only a small squeak comes out of her, but you keep your tired frown.
>Slowly she closes her mouth, and gaze falling to the floor, she just leaves without a word.

>As the door clicks closed, your gaze trails to the foot of your bed.
>You have a moment to kind of just think, to really linger on how fucked this whole situation is.
>And still feeling slow and sluggish here, it's like your mind hasn't really wrapped all around it yet.
>You don't hear the hoofsteps, but you catch a glimpse of Anon, who sits down next to the bed without a word.
>Your train of thought leaves you, now lingering on the silence between you.
>After saying what you did, you're surprised she didn't book it after given the chance.
>Maybe she's just staying to spite your ass.
>...In fact, you can almost guarantee that's why.
>There can't be another reason for it.
>She...
>Your eyes fall again, and you linger on the thought.
>No, of course not.
>And no matter what Twilight says, you know she doesn't care about you.
>If you can't care about yourself, you can't expect anybody else to.
>And it's been that way for a very, VERY long time.
>She probably came by because her castle map sent her over.
>But... the way you're feeling, it's never really changed.
>It's just a bit worse now, with the situation.
>If the map really bothered, it would've sent her a long time ago.
>...Maybe it's because of your lack of a Cutie Mark?
>Or the fact that you're not really from here?
>Well shit, even more of a reason to finish what you started, if you needed one.
>What's around you doesn't matter, you've started on this path, there's no going back now.
>There can't be...
>"I... I've been in your spot, before."
>Your ears perk, and your focus shifts to the filly.
>She's clearly staring at the ground, from her slumped posture, but her mane is covering her eyes.
>"After years of the same routine, doing different things but never... never really feeling any different."
>Her ears fall.
>"Once I finally had it, when I decided that family wasn't worth the suffering of just... existing, I just went and did it. Downed two bottles of pills, ended up right where you are."

>Though you were able to see where she was going with her words, they still shock you.
>"I remember waking up with the shame of failing, pissed and worried members of my family all around me."
>A soft sigh escapes her.
>"Of course, none of them bothered to stay. Even in such a dire moment, I was able to pass it all off as an accident, with terrible jokes and a smile on my face."
>Her hoof moves over her face, and she takes a deep breath.
>"They were just so eager to accept it, to think that all was fine in the family, everyone perfect, and nobody related to them would ever want to do such a thing."
>She starts to absent-mindedly brush her mane with her hooves.
>"And in that moment, I truly realized how alone I was. That nobody really cared, or bothered to help me when I needed it most. When I found that out, I decided I'd live for myself, get rich and live my years with booze and VR stuff."
>She snorts.
>"And I ended up here because of cardiac arrest, of all things."
>With another sigh, she slowly turns to you, tears running down her cheeks.
>"But the point is, I know what it's like to feel completely alone, to have no shoulder to cry on or even anybody to listen to me."
>She wipes her face clean again.
>"And you can curse at me, hate me all you want for what I did... but I'm not going to leave you, and I'm not going to let you go down the same road as I did."
>Your gaze softens a bit, and you find yourself unable to maintain eye contact with her.
"...I've been on this road a lot longer than you have, Anon-"
>"-Well now you don't have to be on it by yourself."
>You find yourself looking into her eyes, but only for a single second.
>"Call it fate, some weird divine intervention, but I'm here with you for a reason, and it's not to replace you, or waste my years living on my own."
>Her words hit you a little too much.
>It's like she read your damned mind...
>"And I'm not going to just sit by and watch you do this to yourself again. Not when I can help."