Monmusu Rpg Session Five: Kiiiing rammseeeeeesssss

[18:18] <~illcushion> The party minus one disembark the ship to Cattan at the docks. It's all wooden and this stuff would probably break if someone was really fat.
[18:19] <~illcushion> Fortunately, no one's fat enough. The sailors leave the ship as well and wave around. "Well, lads! This is Cattan. Over there's the souvenir shop, then there's the endless desert wasteland... aaaand that's it." The captain scratches the back of his head. "Now... I'm not good at counting, but weren't there 5 of you before?"
[18:19] <~illcushion> (Action)
[18:20] <Albin> "Accidents happen. Especially when singing is involved."
[18:20] <Albin> "Thank you for bringing us here, sir."
[18:21] <vanilla__> "I'll pray to Illias that fake hero's a'ight. Chances are he'll just enjoy hitting on another monster lass, maybe, er, "cementing" his relationship with her too."
[18:21] <Mack_Swain> "Do mermaids allow people to breath under water?"
[18:21] <Roy__> "He's gonna' be alright, huh? I mean, it's one thing to be on land, but under water..."
[18:22] <vanilla__> "You think they could feed on men if they didn't have some fancy breathin' magic or something another?"
[18:22] <~illcushion> The captain looks down at the ground. "Aw, shucks, it was the hero with the good story. He probably didn't cover his ears when the siren started singing..."
[18:22] <Mack_Swain> "I tried to warn him, but it was too late"
[18:23] <Albin> "He started singing along, actually. At least it looked like it."
[18:23] <vanilla__> "If we pass by that same siren on the way back I bet we could deal with it then."
[18:23] <vanilla__> "It ain't right, but at this point it can't be helped."
[18:23] <~illcushion> One of the sailors pats the captain on the shoulder. "Hey, these things happen. Don't beat yourself up over it, cap'n."
[18:24] <~illcushion> The captain lifts his gaze. "Yes, alright. My crew and I will stay here for the return trip. It's the least we can do to honor that poor soul who lost his way in the sea..."
[18:25] <Mack_Swain> "Hey guys, I forgot to ask."
[18:25] <vanilla__> "Much obliged. I'm sure he's the kind of dimwit that won't mind life with a fish folk lass anyway."
[18:25] <Mack_Swain> "Any particular reason you felt the need to leave port without me aboard?"
[18:26] <vanilla__> " 'Figured you'd drop in after you were done being a deviant."
[18:26] <Roy__> "We didn't want to get in the way of your fun"
[18:26] <~illcushion> Erica jumps out of Albin's hat. "Yeah, AIR DROP in! Heehee, you've gotten good at that, big bro Mack!"
[18:26] <Mack_Swain> "Aerial re-entry isn't exactly easy you know."
[18:27] <Mack_Swain> "If you all have time, I could tell you where I learned how to do it..."
[18:28] * Albin steps side to side: "Anyone mind explaining to me why exactly we're here? Training sounds like a lame excuse."
[18:28] <vanilla__> "In any case, I suppose we should get on with our business here? Erwin tell any of you just what that was, I didn't really get filled in myself."
[18:28] <vanilla__> "I ain't interested in deviance or being flung through the air Mack."
[18:29] <Mack_Swain> "I'm starting to think you're just jealous vanilla."
[18:29] <Roy__> "We're not here for the gift shop?"
[18:29] <Mack_Swain> "You know, salamander wasn't half bad."
[18:29] <Albin> "He was too busy trying get into half of the local monsters' pants to explain such things."
[18:30] <vanilla__> "You think I haven't challenged her before Mack? Hell, I've known her for years, I've got my history."
[18:30] <~illcushion> "Well I'm gonna check out the gift shop! Yaaaaaay~!" says the fairy. She then proceeds to fly off.
[18:30] <vanilla__> "Well, so anyone up for checking the gift shop?"
[18:30] <Albin> "Well, since it's the only thing around."
[18:30] <Mack_Swain> "Wait, there's actually a gift shop?"
[18:30] * Albin skips from one stable part to another, in the direction of the gift shop.
[18:30] * vanilla__ goes off following the direction Erica flew off to.
[18:31] * Roy__ heads over to the aforementioned gift shop
[18:32] * Mack_Swain walks to the gift shop because why not
[18:32] <~illcushion> After walking roughly 30 feet forwards from the dock, the group reach a cozy-looking wooden building with a sign outside saying MISS TANUKI'S STUFF AND THINGS.
[18:33] <~illcushion> Inside, they see two figures; a very pretty human girl, and a dude.
[18:33] <Albin> "Good morning."
[18:33] * Erwin- is chatting loudly with the shopkeeper. "Do you really get that much business out here? It must be really hard to run a shop like this all on your own!"
[18:33] <Albin> "Oh shit what the hell is he doing here?"
[18:34] <Roy__> "Wait, what."
[18:34] <vanilla__> "Tanuki? Ain't that some fancy name from some eastern count-, wait Erwin! You ain't dead kid!"
[18:34] <~illcushion> The girl nods at Erwin. "Yes, travelers who want to get strong usually stop by here. Plus, it's the only place to get a bed for only 200 coins a night in miles!" She then turns to Albin. "Oh, hello there! Welcome to my shop." She then does a curtsy.
[18:34] * vanilla__ rushes into the store and waves his hand in front of Erwin.
[18:34] <Erwin-> "Eh?" Erwin looks over his shoulder. "Oh I totally died! I'm a ghost."
[18:34] <Mack_Swain> "Uh,"
[18:35] * Albin does a shallow bow, still eyeing Erwin.
[18:35] <~illcushion> An ill wind blows through the shop and breaks a vase. Erwin swears he hears the wind giggling.
[18:35] <vanilla__> "Nifty, I've got a penchant for ghosts."
[18:35] <Albin> "I guess since Mack has his "come back from the dead powers", you can too."
[18:35] <Mack_Swain> "When did I ever die?"
[18:35] <Mack_Swain> "I SAW him get dragged under"
[18:36] <vanilla__> "Wait, you mind filling us in Mack?"
[18:36] <Albin> "Well i saw you being dragged into a classroom full of Succubi. Certain death, and you're here."
[18:36] <Mack_Swain> "Well, It's hard to hit a moving target on re-entry
[18:36] <Erwin-> "Mermaids are pretty bad at playing tag." Erwin chuckles. "And Sylph helped."
[18:36] <Mack_Swain> "So i landed next to erwin instead of on the ship"
[18:36] <vanilla__> "Wait, so did you actually die or not Erwin?"
[18:36] <Mack_Swain> "Oh right, erwin has that animist god wind spirit thing."
[18:37] <Mack_Swain> "He obviously didn't die."
[18:37] <Erwin-> "Or did I? It's more fun if you wait and find out."
[18:37] <vanilla__> "Damn, it would have been interesting if was actually a ghost."
[18:37] <Roy__> "You ass! I thought you were really dead!"
[18:37] <Roy__> "What happened to the siren?"
[18:37] * Albin is disinterested by the conversation and looks around the wares.
[18:38] <Mack_Swain> I can punch you in the face and if my fist doesn't phase through you, you're not a ghost"
[18:38] <Mack_Swain> "Wanna try?"
[18:38] <~illcushion> The shopkeeper mourns the broken vase while mumbling "who's gonna pay for this now?" in a very sad voice.
[18:38] <Mack_Swain> "I'll pay for it."
[18:39] <Erwin-> "Well I made friends with her on the rocks and then she wanted to play tag under the water! Then after that it's a long story involving lots of screaming."
[18:39] * Mack_Swain slaps the appropraite amount of gold on the counter"
[18:39] <~illcushion> The girl raises an eyebrow at Mack. "Ohhh... but that's not enough, that was a very ancient vase I picked up from the pyramids! It's worth at least five times that!"
[18:39] <vanilla__> "What a waste of money. Damn rich city fruit." Vanilla grumbles
[18:40] <~illcushion> She then pouts. Your money pouch beckons.
[18:40] * vanilla__ goes up to the lady "Pyramids? I've heard of those, you mind filling me in on the details? Sounds like an adventure."
[18:40] <Mack_Swain> "Waste of money?"
[18:40] <vanilla__> "You didn't break it yourself, did you?"
[18:40] <Mack_Swain> "You're right."
[18:41] <vanilla__> "So why pay her you dolt?"
[18:41] <Mack_Swain> "Which is why if that woman's telling the truth about the ancient vase, erwin better cough up the other 4/5ths"
[18:41] <vanilla__> "You that desperate?"
[18:41] * Mack_Swain whispers "But she's obvoiusly full of it"
[18:41] <Roy__> "Say, uh, ms Raccoon dog, do you have any special dolls or puppets or anything for sell?"
[18:41] <Erwin-> "Raccoon dog? She's a human."
[18:42] <Erwin-> "Pretty rude Roy!"
[18:42] * vanilla__ whispers back "Probably."
[18:42] <Mack_Swain> "Roy what the hell"
[18:42] * vanilla__ goes to look at the wares
[18:43] <Albin> "Most of it is garbage, i've already looked."
[18:43] <Mack_Swain> "Well, I already have all the tools I need, so you all can take your time."
[18:43] <Albin> "Well, unless you like trinkets and such."
[18:43] <Mack_Swain> "I'll be reading this here catalog"
[18:43] <vanilla__> "Yup, nothing here catches my eye."
[18:43] <Albin> "Wait... actually look at this!"
[18:43] <vanilla__> "I've already got provisions anyway."
[18:43] <vanilla__> "Huh?!"
[18:43] * vanilla__ looks
[18:43] * Albin steps over to a bookcase.
[18:44] * vanilla__ anticipates whatever it is
[18:44] <Albin> "I thought books were rarer than this."
[18:44] <Mack_Swain> "Books are so common I used them as stepstools in my younger years."
[18:44] <vanilla__> "I've seen enough of them. Mostly the good book though."
[18:44] <~illcushion> The girl hears Roy and starts ruffling through a box behind her desk. "Ohh, here's a nice little doll of a Sphinx! It's said that if you treat it nicely, she can become real and... ask you riddles! Yeah!" She then puts it on the desk. "That'll be five thousand gold coins." She then smiles. Your money pouch beckons.
[18:44] <Albin> "Stories.... some history books... meh."
[18:45] * Erwin- crosses his arms and frowns. "It's a shame though...I was hoping a monster girl was running this store! I am suppossed to be making friends with all of them after all."
[18:45] <vanilla__> "You oughta pick yourself up the book of Illias kiddo. Just skip genesis and read the passages written by wise men."
[18:45] <vanilla__> "Good life lessons in there."
[18:45] <Albin> "Yeah, Book of Ilias is here too. Oh and these two! They look interesting."
[18:45] <Roy__> "Five thousand...!?"
[18:45] * vanilla__ goes to pick up the Book of Illias.
[18:45] <Albin> "We had an Ilias missionary in the village. Everybody played pranks on him."
[18:46] <vanilla__> "Ms. Merchant, how much for this?"
[18:46] <Roy__> "A-are you sure it'll become real?"
[18:46] <Mack_Swain> "Yes roy, I'm sure the nice merchent would never lie to get your business"
[18:47] * Albin picks up two heavy tomes and one notebook-like book, then skips along both. They seem rather fun to read.
[18:47] <~illcushion> The girl takes the book into her hand. "Ah, the book of the Goddess Who Created The World! It's the standard price for science fiction: three hundred and fifty gold coins!" She then smiles. Your money pouch beckons.
[18:47] <vanilla__> "That's terrible kiddo. Well depends on if he was a respectable sorta cleric or not but still."
[18:47] <Erwin-> "What's an Ilias? She's that giant glowing harpy people really like overseas right? I don't get it."
[18:47] <Mack_Swain> "Science fiction"
[18:47] <Mack_Swain> "I think you calling that is an insult to science"
[18:48] * Roy__ looks antsy over the figure over the table
[18:48] <Mack_Swain> "Anyways you don't need to buy that, just go to a church and talk to the priest"
[18:48] <Albin> "Well, i don't think that starting off by calling monsters despicable is the smartest move in the Great Forest."
[18:48] <~illcushion> The girl turns to Roy. "The doll is heavily infused with magic, or so I'm told! It's said that positive energy can make it become real!"
[18:48] <Erwin-> "Science fiction! Haha! I like this shopkeeper."
[18:48] <vanilla__> "Well, I follow Illias but I don't really think monsters are despicable" says Vanilla ignoring the insult to his religion.
[18:48] <Roy__> "Bu... but what if it does. If it's a doll that talks by itself thats like some dream come true"
[18:49] <vanilla__> "Not all the devout think the same about what the book means."
[18:49] <Albin> "It's not like everybody believes the same as you. Besides, people in my village already shared the faith in the eleme..."
[18:49] <Mack_Swain> "well roy, if you want it so much go ahead and buy it."
[18:49] * Albin stops talking while looking through the small book.
[18:50] <Albin> "Oh my..."
[18:50] * Mack_Swain looks over albin's shoulder
[18:50] * vanilla__ looks as well.
[18:50] * Roy__ starts digging through his pack for money
[18:50] <~illcushion> Erica jumps on Albin's head. "Heeey, bro Albin, what are you reading?"
[18:50] <Erwin-> "Well I learned something today!" Erwin grimaces. "I really dont want to touch anything wet or slimy for a really long time! I would pay for something soft to hug right about now."
[18:51] * Albin holds a book that's full of drawings of monster-human sex acts."
[18:51] <Albin> "Th-that certainly looks interesting."
[18:51] * vanilla__ grabs the book from Albin.
[18:51] <vanilla__> (+1)
[18:51] <Mack_Swain> "Hmmm. I don't remember any of those."
[18:52] <Albin> (-1)
[18:52] <Albin> "H-hey! I was reading that!"
[18:52] <vanilla__> "Books like this ain't appropriate for your age."
[18:52] <Mack_Swain> "Are you kidding vanilla?"
[18:52] * vanilla__ puts it on the top shelf where Albin can't reach it.
[18:52] <Mack_Swain> "He's plenty old enough."
[18:52] <Mack_Swain> "Albin isn't 8 years old"
[18:52] <vanilla__> "A deviant like you isn't a good source 'bout what's appropriate or not."
[18:53] * Albin pouts and comes back to the other books.
[18:53] <vanilla__> "Don't want him getting any funny ideas and gettin' himself preyed on, alright?"
[18:53] <Mack_Swain> "The longer he's sheltered the worst he's gonna end up."
[18:53] <Albin> "Well, these two are certainly interesting, less lewd, but i can probably afford only one of them."
[18:53] <Mack_Swain> "And I'm getting really sick of you calling me a deviant"
[18:53] <~illcushion> The shopkeeper's eye twinkles as she muses on Erwin's words. "Hero, if you want something fluffy, I have just the thing for you!" She then reveals a tail from beneath her skirt. "You can touch it... for five hundred gold~!"
[18:53] <vanilla__> "You want him to go off with some succubus? He already knows monsters prey on man's "energy". I don't want him thinking it's acceptable though."
[18:54] <Roy__> "M-ms merchant, is it possible you could come down on the price, just a tad?"
[18:54] <vanilla__> "I'm getting sick of your deviancy."
[18:54] <Mack_Swain> "I ain't even seen monsters before I met you all"
[18:54] <Mack_Swain> "And somehow you're more backwards and bigoted than me"
[18:55] <vanilla__> "I'm not bigot, who goes pointing his pansy lil crossbow at every monster lass he sees?"
[18:55] <~illcushion> The shopkeeper hides her tail. "Oh!" She then gulps.
[18:55] <Mack_Swain> "this panzy crossbow saved your skin"
[18:56] <vanilla__> "Your skin got turned to stone for pointing it at that ground harpy lass."
[18:56] <vanilla__> "And a sheep lass ain't that much of a threat."
[18:56] <Mack_Swain> "I never did point it at her! You were there, I just unshouldered it"
[18:56] <Erwin-> "Oh it looks soft! Are you sure it'll be enough? A hero has big needs you know!" Erwin beams.
[18:56] <~illcushion> "Mmmm, the price is... negotiable. I suppoooose I could take it down to 4500! That's... a really big discount!" She then smiles. Your money pouch beckons.
[18:56] <vanilla__> "I'm still no bigot. Where's your proof of that Mack?"
[18:57] <Mack_Swain> "You hiding that book from albin and calling me a deviant"
[18:57] <vanilla__> "First of all, I hid that book so Albin wouldn't try anything in that book and get himself killed. Second of all, just because I'm not comfortable with being dominated like a woman by monster folk like you doesn't mean I'm a bigot."
[18:58] <Roy__> "Aw... but I only have 2000" Roy lets out an exasperated sigh
[18:58] <Mack_Swain> "Ah hell. Here you go roy."
[18:59] * Mack_Swain pays the difference, his money pouch is now signifigantly lighter than when he first set out
[18:59] * Albin peeps up from one of the books. "Come on... it wasn't that bad. Well, maybe the Kraken drawing wasn't nice, but i liked the rest."
[18:59] <Mack_Swain> "Kraken? You can't be serious"
[18:59] <vanilla__> "Albin, you want to run off with a monster lass? Don't you have some duty not to do that or something?"
[18:59] <Mack_Swain> "The sailors back home told me plenty stories about those"
[19:00] <Roy__> "Ah, are you sure, Mack?"
[19:00] <vanilla__> "You're all too damned naive. If you aren't wary enough you'll get milked dry. Or get turned into a bumbling moron who only wants to get milked dry."
[19:00] <Mack_Swain> "Yeah. On the off chance it does actually turn into a sphinx, you owe me one."
[19:00] * Roy__ grabs the coins and blows it all on the stupid doll
[19:01] <Albin> "I don't. It wasn't so uncommon for my family to have monster-human relations. All that was important was that there was at least one son."
[19:02] <Albin> "And don't you school me on how to approach monsters. That was first and most important thing i've learnt."
[19:02] <vanilla__> "Ablin, that book was all forceful rape. You try to experience something like that and it'll involve you getting killed or worse. Do you really want to be the kind of man with a thing for that?"
[19:03] <Mack_Swain> "Hey, that didn't look like forceful rape to me."
[19:03] <Mack_Swain> "Bigot."
[19:03] <vanilla__> "I wouldn't beat you up if you married some monster lass who lives in your village or something another, but that book was terrible."
[19:03] <vanilla__> "Call me what you want Mack, least I try talking to monster folk first."
[19:04] <Albin> "Oh come on! It was just pictures."e
[19:04] <Mack_Swain> "Yeah and it damn near got you screwed a few times
[19:04] <Erwin-> "I'm not really sure how much money I have but I dont really ever use it!" Erwin rummages around in his pockets and just dumps all the money he has on the counter. "How much in soft hugs will this get me? I dont think I have that much..." +4 resources roll.
[19:04] <Mack_Swain> not to mention you have some hitchhikers in your little brain
[19:04] <vanilla__> "That other demon lass is no good, but I'm quite fond of the first one. Don't act like she's an insult to me, I'm glad I saved her."
[19:05] <Albin> "Actually, I'm gonna say otherwise. Demons's are unnatural."
[19:05] <vanilla__> "In fact, if I was a bigot, how come I was more concerned about her than any of you?"
[19:05] <~illcushion> Erwin empties rougly four thousand gold on the desk. The shopkeeper's eyes open and her tail comically flops out of her skirt.
[19:05] <Mack_Swain> "Maybe you're a deviant"
[19:05] <vanilla__> "Ya'll are a buncha bigots in my opinion if you'd be alright with that poor lass just being killed instead."
[19:06] <Mack_Swain> "And uh, why does the merchant have a tail now."
[19:06] <vanilla__> "I'm no deviant, but I'm a man and I made a promise."
[19:06] <Albin> "She's not a part of the natural cycle. Demons, Angels, Succubi and Artificial monsters are bad."
[19:06] <vanilla__> "The heck, why's the shopkeeper dressed up?"
[19:07] <~illcushion> The Happy Merchant wags her tail back and forth as she grabs Erwin's arm, brings him into a supply closet and locks the door.
[19:07] <~illcushion> The wind cries a little bit.
[19:07] <Mack_Swain> ""Uh oh."
[19:07] <Albin> "Did he really just?"
[19:07] <vanilla__> "Albin, I won't get mad 'bout opinions, 'specially not to someone your age, but I take offense to that."
[19:07] <vanilla__> "It's the definition of bigotry to just say something's bad a blanket statement. Hope you remember that."
[19:07] * Roy__ doesn't notice anything. He's sitting on the floor brushing the sphinx doll
[19:08] <Mack_Swain> "Since erwin just payed for whatever's going on in that closet, can you at least  stop calling me a deviant now vanilla?"
[19:08] <Albin> "Why is that so? I'm stating a fact. Souls of these monsters do not come from the cycle, and they're unnatural."
[19:08] <vanilla__> "You gonna cry if I call you it again?"
[19:08] <Mack_Swain> "Nah but you might."
[19:09] <Mack_Swain> "So does anybody care about erwin or can we leave?"
[19:09] <Mack_Swain> "I mean, this is getting ridiculous
[19:09] <vanilla__> "Why's unnatural bad? Are humans natural? We build cities and all that."
[19:09] <vanilla__> "Don't threaten me tough guy."
[19:09] <Albin> "It's about the soul, not what we do. But, to be honest, humans do pollute too much."
[19:10] <~illcushion> All of a sudden, the shopkeeper runs out of the closet, grabs the money from the desk and locks herself in a different room in one fluid motion.
[19:10] <vanilla__> "I won't ever accept that a living, breathing, thinking folk can all be bad with no exceptions."
[19:10] <vanilla__> "If it's intelligent it's the same as anything else."
[19:10] <Mack_Swain> "Anybody care to enlighten me on what the hell she was?"
[19:10] <Albin> "Anyway, how much do you think these would cost? 250 each? They seem new."
[19:10] <Albin> "She was a Kitsune? I guess."
[19:11] <Mack_Swain> "She didn't have fox ears
[19:11] <vanilla__> "Probably. I'm not very familiar with those eastern monster lasses."
[19:11] <Albin> "I was too busy with these two."
[19:11] <vanilla__> "Didn't have a tail until just now either."
[19:11] * Albin shows heavy books.
[19:11] * vanilla__ inspects the books
[19:11] <Mack_Swain> "Considering we just paid enough gold to probably buy out the shop, I think we can just take those books and leave."
[19:12] <vanilla__> "I'm taking the Book of Illias then myself."
[19:12] <Mack_Swain> "Oh, we probably shouldn't forget golden boy and his wind god either"
[19:12] * vanilla__ grabs the good book from the shelf and inserts it in his backpack
[19:12] <Roy__> "So, guys, think this is nice enough for the sphinx?" Roy interrupts the group's conversation to show that he has the doll in one of those fucking baby carriers like women have to carry their child in front of them"
[19:12] * Albin is holding a book that has a glass bottle and a leaf drawn on it, as well as another book, that has a generic monster girl drawn on it.
[19:12] <vanilla__> "Albin, mind if I take a look at those?"
[19:13] <Albin> "There's nothing lewd in these."
[19:13] * Albin hands them over.
[19:13] * vanilla__ flips through them.
[19:13] <Albin> "The first one has some recipes in it, second holds information on Monsters. A good read for someone like me."
[19:13] <~illcushion> Vanilla notices that the first page of all these books has a stamp saying LIBRARY OF SAN ILIA.
[19:14] <Mack_Swain> "Where in the hell is San Illia?"
[19:14] <vanilla__> "What?! San Ilia, ain't that the capital of Illiasdom!?"
[19:14] <vanilla__> "Damn, these have got to be stolen!"
[19:14] <vanilla__> "No way we could return them though..."
[19:14] <Mack_Swain> "Well, maybe we should make it our quest to bring them back."
[19:14] <Albin> "Well, whatever their origin, it would be nice to have them."
[19:14] <Mack_Swain> "In the mean time, might as well take them"
[19:14] <vanilla__> "San Ilia's across the ocean."
[19:15] <vanilla__> "Albin, take good care of these alright?"
[19:15] * vanilla__ hands them back carefully
[19:15] <Albin> "Sure will."
[19:15] * vanilla__ goes to look for more stolen books in the shelves
[19:15] <Albin> "Hey! Maybe we can read about what kind of monster the shopkeeper is from this one?"
[19:16] <vanilla__> "Feel free to use them long as you don't rip the pages or nothin' kiddo."
[19:16] * Albin stuffs his face between the pages. Not literally, of couse.
[19:17] <Mack_Swain> "Well, we should find an inn, check in, and do whatever the hell you morons thought we should do here."
[19:18] <Roy__> "Can't we just sleep on the boat?"
[19:18] <vanilla__> "Ain't this the only inn? Let's go check out those pyramids, I'm in the mood for a spooky adventure."
[19:18] <Albin> "That's supposedly an Inn as well. But i don't like the idea of 200 coins for a bed."
[19:18] <vanilla__> "Good thinkin' Roy."
[19:18] <Mack_Swain> "wait, it's 200 coins?"
[19:18] <Albin> "She said so."
[19:18] <Mack_Swain> "That's highway theft!"
[19:19] <Mack_Swain> "Yeah, I'd rather sleep in an ancient pyramid tomb"
[19:19] <~illcushion> Erica stretches in mid air. "200 coins per head... that's 1000 gold a night! I don't need a bed, of course!"
[19:19] <~illcushion> She then sits on Albin's head. "Unless... you share beds! Heehee!"
[19:20] <Mack_Swain> "I don't swing that way"
[19:20] <Albin> "Oh don't tell me you me you weren't already sleeping in my hair."
[19:20] <vanilla__> "Me neither."
[19:21] <~illcushion> The fairy tilts her head to the side. "Huh? What way?"
[19:21] <Albin> "Unless it was somebody else, finding drool there in the morning was an obvious giveaway."
[19:22] <vanilla__> "We've still got the whole day ahead of us, why not worry about bed and board later?"
[19:23] * Erwin- wanders out from the closet. "She sure had a weird way of making friends....but it sure was soft."
[19:23] <Mack_Swain> "Sicne we're just ambling about aimlessly at this point, why not explore an ancient, probably cursed tomb"
[19:23] <~illcushion> The fairy spins in the air. "Well, bro Albin, I WANTED to sleep somewhere else, but you were like 'nuuuh, bad touch, lewd!' and I couldn't sleep like that!"
[19:24] * Mack_Swain looks at albin
[19:24] * Albin pouts. "Well... um..."
[19:24] <Erwin-> "I guess I'm poor now so I cant pay for it again! Haha..."
[19:25] <vanilla__> "Erica, you gotta be in a proper relationship before you do that sorta thing."
[19:25] <Mack_Swain> "And the same applies to erwin over there"
[19:26] <vanilla__> "So, we gonna go and have a fun supernatural tomb adventure yet or what?"
[19:26] <Mack_Swain> "Yeah, might as well."
[19:26] <Mack_Swain> "On the way I
[19:26] <Erwin-> "Tombs? There's a tomb on this island?"
[19:26] <Mack_Swain> "I think I'll work on some bombs."
[19:26] <vanilla__> "A big pyramid, probably has treasure."
[19:27] <Erwin-> "Sweet! Lets get going right away!"
[19:27] <~illcushion> Erica frowns. "Too bad no one brought a map of the island! That would make finding the thing so much easier!"
[19:27] <Roy__> "Tombs are good for treasure, right? We need more money if we want anything else from this place."
[19:27] * vanilla__ looks for a map
[19:27] <vanilla__> "Maybe that monster kitsune lass has one around here."
[19:27] <Mack_Swain> "I've bought enough crap."
[19:27] <Erwin-> "Lets just do it like we always do! I pick a random direction and you beat up anything that jumps me."
[19:27] <vanilla__> (+0)
[19:28] <Mack_Swain> "beat up? You mean try to hug?"
[19:28] <Albin> "More like screw everything that jumps you."
[19:28] <Erwin-> "Exactly that!"
[19:28] * Albin looks for a map. (+3)
[19:28] <~illcushion> Vanilla finds a perfect map of the island... with crudely drawn waypoints. One of them says PYRAMID. There's also BIG BUGS next to the waypoint saying pyramid.
[19:29] <Mack_Swain> "Big bugs huh."
[19:29] <vanilla__> "Big Bugs? Sounds like a tavern owned by somebody named Bugs."
[19:29] <vanilla__> "Well, let's set off then."
[19:29] <Roy__> "How big is big?"
[19:29] <Albin> "Right behind you, i've just got to pack up."
[19:30] <Erwin-> "Away we goooo~!" Erwin says as he starts to leave. "Well I came out of this situation without getting married! That's new!"
[19:30] <vanilla__> "Maybe the servings are big?"
[19:30] * vanilla__ waits for Albin and then starts a' blazing
[19:30] * Albin stays behind until Vanilla leaves, climbs up to grab the lewd book and leaves, leaving some money on the counter.
[19:31] * Roy__ packs up and heads out and still has that expensive doll in that fucking carrier in front of him
[19:32] <vanilla__> (+2)
[19:32] <Albin> (+2)
[19:33] * vanilla__ heads off oblivious to Ablin's perversion
[19:33] <~illcushion> THE GROUP PROCEEDS TO THE BLAZIN' TRAIL.
[19:34] <~illcushion> Following the direct route to the pyramids, they notice a whole lot of... desert. Sand, also. And dunes of sand.
[19:34] * Mack_Swain takes out a disconcerting amount of dynamite while the group walks, and proceedes to fumble around with it
[19:34] <Erwin-> "Neat! I wonder what kind of monster girls live in a place like this!"
[19:34] * Albin wraps a rag around his head, because muh sand and wind and heat.
[19:35] <vanilla__> "Who builds a pyramid around here anyways?"
[19:35] <Roy__> "Sand girl, maybe?"
[19:35] <Albin> "Well, we can always check what lives in the deserts."
[19:35] <~illcushion> While walking along, the group find some loose debris. Wooden planks and bricks. Also, a small teddy bear that seems a bit torn up.
[19:35] <Mack_Swain> "Something bad happened here..."
[19:36] * vanilla__ investigates the site (+2)
[19:36] <Albin> "Oooh. It seems like it was destroyed."
[19:36] * Roy__ immediately inspects the bear (-1)
[19:37] <~illcushion> Vanilla finds some slimy stuff sticking to the underside of a plank. It looks a bit more sticky than slime. More viscuous.
[19:37] * Erwin- picks up the bear. "Cute! Hey Sylph do you want this? Can you even take items into my brain or whatever."
[19:37] * vanilla__ staggers back a bit "Wait, this isn't a slime girl, it's different. Phew."
[19:37] * Albin steps over to vanilla.
[19:37] <Albin> "What do you think this is?"
[19:38] <~illcushion> Roy's inspection is abruptly cut short by Erwin, which is fine enough because there's nothing to find on it apart from some parts that aren't sewn up properly.
[19:38] <vanilla__> "I've got no idea."
[19:38] <Mack_Swain> "Vanilla why are you so damn terrified of slime girls."
[19:38] <Roy__> "I could probably fix that toy up if you want"
[19:38] <Albin> "Maybe saliva? But what would leave trails like that?"
[19:38] * Albin sits down and reaches for the Monster Book.
[19:39] <Albin> "Desert... desert... desert.... Oh yes, here."
[19:39] <Albin> "Wow, that's a lot of monsters. Might take some time to pinpoint the culprit."
[19:39] <vanilla__> "Because no matter how much you swing iron or steel through them you can't hurt 'em, and besides that the way they prey on men is terrifying! Get in your orifices and start choking you... Then you have to puke them out and are traumatized for the rest of your life! Also," Vanilla continues ranting about how bad slime girls are
[19:40] <~illcushion> Sylph shooshes Erwin. She says "shh... something's coming". The wind then stands still.
[19:40] <Mack_Swain> "I have a feeling that the liberal application of high explosive would deterr a slime girl."
[19:40] <Albin> "Can somebody tell me if these planks have burn marks? Anybody?"
[19:41] <Erwin-> "Something is coming."
[19:41] <Erwin-> "Hold still."
[19:41] <Mack_Swain> "I'm sorry, what?"
[19:41] <Albin> "Woah, why did everything became quiet all out the sudden?"
[19:41] <vanilla__> "How are you supposed to get them to stay close to explosives! That wouldn't work, they'd be absorbing you in a second! In any case you can't light dynamite in a slime girl, it'd go out."
[19:42] <vanilla__> "What now?"
[19:42] <~illcushion> The group feels the sand trembling underneath them as an Alertness Roll? takes place.
[19:42] <vanilla__> (+3)
[19:42] <Albin> (-1)
[19:42] <Roy__> -1
[19:42] <Mack_Swain> +2
[19:43] <Erwin-> +1
[19:44] <~illcushion> Vanilla and Mack notice a whirlpool of sand forming in front of the group. The ground starts to intensely shake.
[19:45] <Albin> "Ok... what did you guys do when i was reading?"
[19:45] * vanilla__ yells "Hey, everybody get back! There's something big!"
[19:45] <Roy__> "W-what's with all the shaking?"
[19:46] * Albin rolls back, getting his book, backpack and all that shit together in an action flick fashion.
[19:46] <Albin> "What do you mean?!"
[19:46] * vanilla__ jumps back (+0)
[19:46] * Mack_Swain attempts to roll backwards (+1)
[19:47] <Erwin-> "Shaking is not really all that scary..."
[19:48] <Albin> (+3 for athletics, whoopie!)
[19:48] <Erwin-> +3 to move away from whirlipool.
[19:48] * Roy__ runs back like a pansy then I guess (-1 oops)
[19:49] <~illcushion> A giant creature emerges from the whirlpool of sand, sending sand flying everywhere, knocking back Vanilla and sending Roy flying backwards! Roy lands on Mack.
[19:49] <Mack_Swain> "Ouch"
[19:50] <Roy__> (+1) "Thanks for breaking my fall"
[19:50] <Mack_Swain> (+2)
[19:50] * vanilla__ scrambles up and draws his blade. (+1)
[19:50] * Albin jumps on and balances on one the walls, gaining higher ground.(+2) He then draws his bow.
[19:51] <Erwin-> "That's uh...that's pretty big."
[19:51] <~illcushion> The giant worm-like creature opens its mouth, revealing a beautiful woman, covered in... what is that, saliva? Well shit.
[19:51] <Erwin-> "Is that a monster girl? I dont think it i-OH! It is!"
[19:51] <Albin> "Is this damage your doing?"
[19:51] <Mack_Swain> "Erwin it's a trick!"
[19:51] <Erwin-> "Are you uh...friendly?" Erwin tries a friendly wave.
[19:51] * Roy__ gets up and checks to see if his sphix doll is alright he doesn't even look at the giant worm thing
[19:52] <Erwin-> +3 rapport it'll mean nothing!!!
[19:52] <~illcushion> The sandworm girl looks over the party from up top and licks her lips. "Oh, hello there... I didn't see you, sorry about that~!" she says while giggling.
[19:53] <Mack_Swain> "This is uh..."
[19:53] * Albin mutters "Saliva... Sandworm, of course"
[19:53] <Mack_Swain> "Interesting"
[19:53] * vanilla__ goes to Albin and whispers "You might need to try and fling an arrow straight into her exposed head. See if she tries to eat Erwin."
[19:53] <Albin> "Hey! I'm asking again, is this damage your doing?"
[19:53] <~illcushion> Her gaze turns to Erwin, which you can tell because she moved her entire worm body around, lowering herself to his level. "Hi there! I'm Sandra, what's your name~?"
[19:54] <Mack_Swain> "I've seen some crazy crap, but I  think this tops the charts."
[19:54] <Erwin-> "I'm Erwin the hero! I have Sylph so I had a feeling you would turn up." Erwin chuckles. "You're uh...not evil right? I just want to make friends with all the monster girls."
[19:54] <Erwin-> "And you seem like a really cool one to make friends with!"
[19:55] * Albin squats with his bow resting on his knees.
[19:55] * Mack_Swain walks over to erwin and the sandworm
[19:55] * vanilla__ just holds his blade steady in his hands
[19:55] * Albin turns to Vanilla: "Does he never learn?"
[19:55] <~illcushion> The sandworm puts her head on her hand. "Oh, thank you for saying I'm cool! No one ever says that, they're just all... 'Oh God, what is that! Shoot it!', it's so annoying!"
[19:55] * Roy__ finally turns his attention to the worm thing "Wha, what the hell is that?"
[19:56] <vanilla__> "God damnit it Mack, he's going to do it again." Vanilla grumbles
[19:56] <Mack_Swain> "It doesn't really help that you could probably level a town on accident/"
[19:56] <Mack_Swain> "Say, do you know which way the pyramids are?"
[19:57] <Erwin-> "Wow that's really rude! You do show them that you're a pretty girl right? The rest of you is probably pretty intimidating."
[19:59] <~illcushion> The sandworm rolls her eyes at Mack. "Wooow, you're right, it's so inconsiderate of me to destroy towns! It's like, let's just put a town over where all of us live! Then let's complain about us popping our heads up to look for mates! What's the deal?"
[19:59] * Albin takes the Monster Book out, skipping along the pages.
[20:00] <Albin> "Huh. Vanilla! Catch this!"
[20:00] * Albin throws a small bag of SOMETHING in his general direction.
[20:01] * vanilla__ attempts to catch the bag (+3)
[20:01] <~illcushion> Vanilla successfully catches the bag.
[20:01] * Erwin- laughs. "Wow you sure told him! I guess it's pretty dumb to built a town in a place like this."
[20:01] <Albin> "If she swallows you, spill this inside of her."
[20:02] <Mack_Swain> "Yeah, a town here doesn't really make sense."
[20:02] <Mack_Swain> "No natural resources, no river, no nothing."
[20:02] <vanilla__> "Got it."
[20:02] <~illcushion> She turns back to Erwin. "I know, right!? I guess they must be pretty stupid!" She then laughs. "Sooooo, wanna mate?"
[20:02] * vanilla__ facepalms
[20:02] * Albin readies another bag of SOMETHING. This time for himself.
[20:03] <Mack_Swain> "Well erwin, do you?"
[20:03] <Albin> "Excuse me, Sandworm Girl, but where are the people from this village?"
[20:03] <Erwin-> "Nah not really! I'm fine with just being friends." Erwin smiles. "I'll think about it and come back after I'm done with the pyramid if you want!"
[20:04] <Mack_Swain> Erwin, you shouldn't lie to girls
[20:04] <Mack_Swain> It's not very nice.
[20:04] <Mack_Swain> You see erwin here's a married man
[20:04] <~illcushion> The sandworm turns to Albin, raising her entire body. "I don't know, I don't live here! I'm just looking for someone to spend my time with~!"
[20:05] <Albin> "But this saliva that's all over the place. It's yours isn't it?"
[20:05] * vanilla__ speaks up "Wait, if you don't live here, how could it be their fault for putting a town above where you live?"
[20:05] <~illcushion> She tilts her entire worm body to the side. "Aaaaah I don't knooooow... maybe it's mine? Who cares anyways, it's just a stupid village!"
[20:06] <Erwin-> "I've had a weeiiiird day! And this heat is kinda making me cranky." Erwin frowns. "I really just want to get to that pyramid...it's probably not as hot in there."
[20:06] <Albin> "Probably people whom you hurt."
[20:07] * vanilla__ grumbles "Damn monster folk who have no value for human life..."
[20:07] <~illcushion> "Whaaaaat? I didn't hurt no one!" Her human body starts to shake. "It could've been any other sandworm around here! Besides, we don't do that, we just want a husband to care after~!"
[20:08] <Mack_Swain> "Seems like a lot of monsters are looking for husbands."
[20:08] <Roy__> "Seems like they all want the same guy for a husband"
[20:09] <Mack_Swain> "Anyways, it doesn't really seem like a sandworm did this."
[20:09] <Mack_Swain> "Not enough craters"
[20:09] * Erwin- nods. "Respectable! But I guess we should get going before I melt."
[20:09] <vanilla__> "Well, Erwin's taken so sorry sandworm lass."
[20:09] <Erwin-> "Probably should have brought water! Woopsie!"
[20:09] <vanilla__> "Good luck finding a husband, we'll point anybody your way if we meet them."
[20:09] * Roy__ smacks his head "Water! That's what I should have bought!"
[20:10] <vanilla__> "Erwin, I've got a bit left, you can have some."
[20:11] <Mack_Swain> "I've got enough water for myself"
[20:11] <Mack_Swain> "But not you lot."
[20:11] <vanilla__> "You'd just let people die if they needed water? Where's that heart of gold Mack?"
[20:11] <Mack_Swain> "When did I say that?"
[20:11] <Mack_Swain> "Of course I'll share"
[20:11] <Erwin-> "Nah you should keep it for yourself! I can endure it."
[20:11] <Mack_Swain> "It just means we're all going to die."
[20:12] <Erwin-> "Maybe Sandra wants some? You should always help out pretty girls before anyone else."
[20:12] <vanilla__> "Sandra can go underground for water right? Maybe she knows where an oasis is."
[20:12] <vanilla__> "Hey, Sandra! You know where water is around these parts?"
[20:14] <~illcushion> The sandworm claps once. "I think there's water... right here!" She then points to herself. "When you're with me, you won't need anything else~!"
[20:14] <Erwin-> "That's pretty lewd Sandra."
[20:15] <Erwin-> "I'm suprised you dont have a husband already."
[20:15] <Mack_Swain> "Well if there isn't an oasis soon, we might not have a choice."
[20:16] <vanilla__> "Why don't we just trade "fluids" for water? Mack, you can be the one to give her it since you're a pervert already."
[20:16] <Mack_Swain> "If you think I'm climing in there you're nuts
[20:16] <Mack_Swain> no offense, massive sandworm lady."
[20:17] <Roy__> "How far are we anyway? Can you guys read the map?"
[20:19] <~illcushion> The sandworm blushes at Erwin's words. "Weeeell... there's not a lot of people passing through here! I was just checking out this place because I thought I saw some men here a couple of years ago, but I think they're all gone now..." She sighs. "That's why I don't have a husband... I'm in despair!"
[20:20] * Albin mutters "Erwin, don't you dare do that."
[20:21] <Erwin-> "Oh you'll find one! I mean there's some men hanging around near the ocean where we came from." Erwin beams. "I'm sure if you ask nicely one might marry you or something."
[20:21] <vanilla__> "Maybe there was men in this village before whatever destroyed it?"
[20:22] <~illcushion> "I can't go near the ocean! That's where the old lady is, and she doesn't want us to get near because it's bad for sales or something!" Sandra then defeteadly puts her head on her hand.
[20:22] <Mack_Swain> "You mean that merchant fox thing?"
[20:23] <~illcushion> "Yeah!" says Sandra, turning her large body around just to answer the question.
[20:23] <Erwin-> "She hardly seems like she would be strong enough to stop you! She's mostly just really soft."
[20:25] <Mack_Swain> "Well. Hmm."
[20:25] <Mack_Swain> "Maybe if we find some poor lonely guy, We'll send him your direction."
[20:26] <vanilla__> "Hey guys, there's gotta be a source of water here if it's a ruined town right?"
[20:26] <~illcushion> "I'd love that!" says the sandworm girl, clapping. "As a reward, I'll let you have my super special treasure~!"
[20:26] <Erwin-> "Which reminds me! We have treasure to get! I would give you a hug Sandra but I have a feeling you would take that as a marriage proposal." Erwin starts to leave in the direction of the pyrrrramid.
[20:26] <Mack_Swain> "Treasure?"
[20:27] <vanilla__> "Yup, treasure guarded by a mummy of an old king from ancient times."
[20:27] <Mack_Swain> "That's not "her" treasure then is it?"
[20:27] <vanilla__> "Who's "her"?"
[20:28] <~illcushion> "It's this little thing!" She holds up a small brown gem. "I got it from Lady Tanuki a while back! She says it protects you from heartbreak and... being turned to stone, or whatever."
[20:28] <Mack_Swain> "Well you have my attention."
[20:28] <Mack_Swain> "Being stone is a pretty awful experiance"
[20:28] <~illcushion> Sandra beams at Mack. "Alright~! When you bring me a husband, I'll let you have it!"
[20:28] <Roy__> Sounds like you need that, mack
[20:29] <vanilla__> "Yup, will do. Thanks for everything Sandra, we're off to the pyramid now!"
[20:29] <Mack_Swain> "Well, off to go be grave robbers."
[20:29] * vanilla__ follows after Erwin, eager to get out of here
[20:29] <~illcushion> The sandworm waves at the party then dives back into the sand.
[20:30] * Albin climbs down and leaves.
[20:30] * vanilla__ waves back "Take care, sand lass!"
[20:30] <Mack_Swain> "The world is  a wierd place."
[20:30] * vanilla__ goes to up to Erwin "Hey Erwin, water." and hands him his waterskin
[20:31] <Erwin-> "Fiiiiiine." Erwin has a little so he can BE ALIVE.
[20:31] <Albin> "Why is it that every Monster we meet is either horrible or nice, even if it's not supposed to?"
[20:31] * Mack_Swain takes a swig
[20:32] <vanilla__> "Like I said Albin, saying any one type of monster girl is supposed to be bad or nice isn't any good."
[20:32] <vanilla__> "Monster folk are people too."
[20:33] <Mack_Swain> "That sandworm didn't seem to give a damn about humans other than her husband."
[20:33] <Albin> "I know that, but it just doesn't seem allright. Why would anyone need rangers if monsters weren't predators?"
[20:33] <vanilla__> "She didn't kill us Mack, just let us leave."
[20:33] <vanilla__> "You havin' an existential crisis kiddo?"
[20:34] <Erwin-> "And away we gooo~!" Erwin sets off once again.
[20:34] * Mack_Swain starts walking into the rolling desert
[20:34] * vanilla__ blazes it
[20:34] <~illcushion> The group march on and reach the place where the waypoint says is a pyramid. There is no pyramid in sight.
[20:35] <vanilla__> "Illias christ..."
[20:35] <Mack_Swain> "Well..."
[20:35] <~illcushion> There are, however, a couple of rough sand that seem to head downwards. They seem artificial.
[20:35] <~illcushion> Rough sand steps*.
[20:35] <vanilla__> "Oh, nevermind, down there then."
[20:35] * Mack_Swain takes a long drink from his waterskin
[20:35] <Roy__> "What? Is it an underground pyramid?"
[20:35] <vanilla__> "I suppose, let's check it out anyways."
[20:35] <Albin> "They're so old that they were covered up, probably."
[20:36] <Mack_Swain> How do we get into them?
[20:36] * vanilla__ goes to enter the pyramid.
[20:36] <vanilla__> "Down the steps?"
[20:36] <Albin> "First we need some light. Do you still have that torch, Mack?"
[20:37] * Erwin- heads down them steps. "Into certain death I go!"
[20:37] <Roy__> "Wait, don't pyramids have a lot of traps and stuff?"
[20:37] <vanilla__> "Into certain death I also go!"
[20:37] * vanilla__ follows
[20:37] * Mack_Swain follows, while taking a large wad of dynamite sticks in hand
[20:37] * vanilla__ points to Erwin and mouths to Roy "meatshield"
[20:38] * Roy__ shrugs and nods
[20:39] <~illcushion> Following the steps and hugging the wall, the group enters a rather large room with old stone lining the walls. Every so often, some sand falls from the ceiling.
[20:39] <Albin> "Woah! It's huge!" (+3 investigation for anything)
[20:39] <~illcushion> There are two passageways. One of them has what appears to be a merchant stand next to it, the other one... well, doesn't.
[20:40] * vanilla__ inspects the stones "Maybe there's them fancy hieroglyphs or whatever!" (+2)
[20:40] * Mack_Swain nervously fiddles with his dynamite bundle
[20:40] <Mack_Swain> "Don't like tight places much.."
[20:41] * Roy__ investigates the merchant stand "I knew that merchant had already been here"
[20:41] <~illcushion> Vanilla and Albin both notice hieroglyphics around, but it's a guesswork to find out what any of them mean.
[20:41] <Roy__> (+1 btw)
[20:41] <vanilla__> "Really, seems to me like you're a real fan of them Mack. Damned pervert."
[20:41] <~illcushion> Roy finds a box full of Sphinx dolls that look very much the same as the one he bought earlier.
[20:42] <Erwin-> "Ok so which one guys? Or should I just pick the one I want to go down."
[20:42] <vanilla__> "The one with no stand."
[20:42] <vanilla__> "Probably untouched."
[20:42] * Mack_Swain decidedly ignores vanilla and lights a torch
[20:42] <vanilla__> "By that merchant lass."
[20:42] <Roy__> "Son of a bitch"
[20:42] <Erwin-> "Alrighty!" Erwin heads down that one.
[20:42] <Mack_Swain> "You learned a valuable lesson today roy."
[20:43] * vanilla__ follows Erwin, examining all the hieroglyphics on the way to make up some bullshit about what they mean.
[20:43] * Roy__ starts stuffing dolls in his sack
[20:43] <Roy__> "I'll sell them and make the money back or something, yeah."
[20:44] * Albin follows up, more concerned about sand leaking from the ceiling at times.
[20:44] <~illcushion> Erwin follows the tight passageway and lands into another large room. It's fucking dark, but there's a couple of torches on the walls, still lit.
[20:44] <Mack_Swain> "Anybody care to remind me why we're here again?"
[20:44] <vanilla__> "An adventure Mack! An adventure!"
[20:45] <Mack_Swain> "All of our adventures end badly"
[20:45] * vanilla__ is really enjoying the atmosphere of the pyramid.
[20:45] <Erwin-> "Well this is boring!" Erwin loudly complains. "Where's all the treasure and monster girls?!"
[20:45] <vanilla__> "It's always at the end of the pyramid."
[20:45] <~illcushion> On the other end of the large room are two sarcophagi. Between them is a chest.
[20:45] * Mack_Swain is really not enjoying the atmosphere of the pyramid
[20:45] * Roy__ catches up to the others and is holding more of those stupid dolls
[20:46] <Roy__> "I'm gonna kill that merchant"
[20:46] <Mack_Swain> "That's the most obvious trap I've ever seen."
[20:46] * vanilla__ goes to inspect the sarcophagi and chest. (+3)
[20:46] <Roy__> "with these dolls"
[20:46] <vanilla__> "It's probably something like just don't disturb the treasure and it's fine."
[20:46] <Erwin-> "Traps can be fun." Erwin approaches the chest. "You think it'll explode? That would be cool."
[20:46] <Albin> "Before anyone do something, ERWIN, please consider what might be in these sarcophagi."
[20:46] <vanilla__> "I'm not a grave robber."
[20:47] <Mack_Swain> "We should just turn around right now."
[20:47] <~illcushion> Vanilla knocks on a sarcophagus. That instant, a whirlpool of sand opens up from below him! Roll for athletics to get out of the way.
[20:47] <vanilla__> (+2)
[20:47] <Mack_Swain> "Illias damn it, Didn't I tell you lot it was a trap!"
[20:47] <Erwin-> "We never listen!
[20:47] <Erwin-> "
[20:47] <~illcushion> Vanilla ACTION ROLLS away from the whirlpool of sand. It swallows the sarcophagus and drops it deep into the pyramid.
[20:48] <vanilla__> "What about the other one?"
[20:48] * Erwin- knocks on the other one. "Heeeey anyone home? You just keep sleeping because no one is going to touch the chest!"
[20:48] <Mack_Swain> "Yeah vanilla, go get yourself killed on the other one!"
[20:48] <Mack_Swain> "You Illias damned moron!"
[20:48] <vanilla__> "You're a real ass Mack."
[20:48] <~illcushion> The same fucking thing happens to Erwin, who has to roll athletics to also get out of the way. Deja busta.
[20:48] <Erwin-> +3
[20:49] <~illcushion> Erwin does a fucking walljump for some reason, maybe to seem flashy. Anyways, the sarcophagus falls deep into the pyramids also.
[20:49] <Erwin-> "Well that was easy! Now lets see what the chest does."
[20:49] <vanilla__> "Hey, we can get that treasure now, there's no mummies that could jump out to get us probably."
[20:49] <Roy__> "Welp, no more graves. Lets go home now."
[20:49] * vanilla__ goes up to the chest
[20:50] <Albin> "How about we actually look for traps this time?"
[20:50] <Mack_Swain> "There's still the chest, if you want to play with more traps."
[20:50] * Roy__ throws a doll at the chest
[20:50] * Albin rolls for investigation, no touchy (+2)
[20:50] * vanilla__ inspects the chest (+1)
[20:50] <Erwin-> "Hey I was leading the way so I get first dibs!" Erwin just opens the chest fuck all of you.
[20:51] <~illcushion> Albin, Vanilla and Erwin all check out the chest at the same time. They're all shocked when there's no fucking trap and instead there's just a whole bunch of plastic-looking crowns and swords.
[20:51] <vanilla__> "Hah! Treasure, get bent Mack!"
[20:51] * Albin picks up a crown.
[20:51] * vanilla__ takes the stuff out and inspects it without noticing it's probably plastic
[20:52] <Mack_Swain> "Enjoy your fake treasure, you dimwits."
[20:52] <Albin> "Riiiight."
[20:52] * Erwin- takes a crown. "Well then! Lets continue because this was a little lame."
[20:52] <Mack_Swain> "I'm going back outside."
[20:52] <vanilla__> "Those things fell into the pyramid right? You wanna try going down there?"
[20:52] <Albin> "I kind of want to check out the other passage. Anyone up for it?"
[20:52] <vanilla__> "That'd be maximum adventure."
[20:52] <~illcushion> Below a couple of crowns is a little note with very nice handwriting saying "property of the Pharaoh, don't touch!".
[20:52] * vanilla__ takes a sword and a crown.
[20:53] <Mack_Swain> "Uh oh, you see that note?"
[20:53] <Mack_Swain> "You're a thief, erwin."
[20:53] * Erwin- puts a crown back. "Sorry~!"
[20:53] * vanilla__ puts the crown and sword back too.
[20:53] <Albin> "Huh, it's kind of garbage anyway."
[20:53] <vanilla__> "If we're taking them lets get them on the way out."
[20:53] * Albin places the fake crown back on the pile."
[20:53] <Erwin-> "Well I want to meet a pharoah for sure!" Erwin heads to the other passage super excited.
[20:53] <vanilla__> "Don't want the pharoah gettin' angry."
[20:53] <Mack_Swain> "I think the pharoah is dead, guys."
[20:54] <Albin> "What Pharaoh?"
[20:54] <Roy__> "Let's just leave the Pharaoh be and get outta here"
[20:54] <vanilla__> "Who cares?" says Vanilla and blazes it down the other passage.
[20:54] * Albin follows i guess?
[20:55] * Mack_Swain follows because #yolo
[20:55] * Roy__ just follows the group because fuck it
[20:56] <~illcushion> Erwin makes his way to the other passage first. After going down some more steps, he reaches a room with a stone floor. No sand trickles in from the top, so it's at least safer for anyone stepping inside by accident somehow.
[20:57] <~illcushion> There are a bunch of torches that aren't lit up just hanging out on the walls.
[20:57] <Erwin-> "Hellooooo~? Anything cool in here?"
[20:58] <Mack_Swain> "this room is kinda sketchy."
[20:58] * Roy__ chucks a sphinx doll into the room
[20:58] <Albin> "Maybe we should light it up a bit? I can't see anything."
[20:58] * vanilla__ just goes and looks for more hieroglyphs
[20:58] <~illcushion> Roy's doll harmlessly bounces off the floor while settling on a mismatching tile. Nothing happens.
[20:59] <Mack_Swain> "WAIT."
[20:59] <vanilla__> "What?"
[20:59] <Mack_Swain> "I think this room is a trap."
[21:00] <~illcushion> Vanilla finds pictures all over the walls. He also finds two rooms that someone could theoretically go into, as well as another narrow passageway going down.
[21:00] * vanilla__ just rolls his eyes and ignores Mack
[21:00] <vanilla__> "Hey, Erwin I found some stuff!"
[21:00] <vanilla__> "More passages!"
[21:00] <Erwin-> "Oooooh cool!"
[21:00] <Erwin-> "Which way should I go? Down sounds fun."
[21:00] * Roy__ marches in and picks the doll her threw back up
[21:01] <vanilla__> "How about the narrow one? Seems most interesting."
[21:01] <Erwin-> "I suppose!"
[21:01] * vanilla__ just starts heading down the narrow passage
[21:01] * Erwin- follows!
[21:02] * Mack_Swain tenatively follows
[21:02] * Albin follows Vanilla and taps his shoulder: "I know Erwin would just go into a dark place that's full of traps, but you?"
[21:02] <~illcushion> The narrow passageway leads into a rather huge chamber. A monster girl stands in the middle of the room. She has Huge Paws and also some kind of staff? And a tail.
[21:02] * Roy__ follows too
[21:02] <vanilla__> "Sorry kiddo, I love this kinda stuff."
[21:02] * vanilla__ notices the monster girl
[21:02] * Erwin- waves happily. "Hello!"
[21:03] * vanilla__ walks up to her
[21:03] <vanilla__> " Uh, howdy there."
[21:03] <~illcushion> The monster girl notices the group immediately. "Halt, humans. Why are you here?"
[21:03] <Albin> "Ooooh. A monster. Didn't one like that appear in the..."
[21:03] <Mack_Swain> "That's a god damn good question."
[21:03] <Roy__> "I want a refund!"
[21:03] <vanilla__> "I wanted to look at the hieroglyphics"
[21:03] <Erwin-> "I'm here to make friends with monster girls!"
[21:03] <vanilla__> "I think they're real fine."
[21:05] <~illcushion> The monster girl tilts her head. "Friendship, knowledge and money, then."
[21:05] <Erwin-> "You're a dog girl right? Annnd dogs like petting!" Erwin imediately starts petting her. "I'm getting better at this whole making friends thing..." +4 Rapport
[21:06] <Mack_Swain> "So do we uh, get a riddle now? I read that's how it works somewhere."
[21:06] <Albin> "That's not a Shinx, Mack."
[21:06] <~illcushion> The girl pouts. "I- I, I'm not a dog! I'm an anu-uuuuu~... so nice..." she says, wagging her tail around and dropping her staff to the ground.
[21:07] <Mack_Swain> "Uh."
[21:07] * vanilla__ goes up to the monster girl "Hey, can I check out your staff? I'll be careful."
[21:07] <Roy__> "yeah... stupid sphinx..." Roy pops the head off one of the sphinx dolls
[21:08] <Erwin-> "Heeey heeeey looks like It's working~! Say could you take me to the pharoah? I really want to meet her~!" Erwin continues petting +5 rapport
[21:09] <Mack_Swain> "Erwin is starting to creep me out"
[21:10] * Albin sighs and walks to a corner the Monster Book in his hand. Reading cuz bored.
[21:10] <~illcushion> The Anubis girl starts panting. "Aaaaaa... I'll do anything you tell me... master, follow me, if you will..." she says. She then walks up to a wall and pushes past it, revealing a passageway. "This way, master..."
[21:11] <Mack_Swain> "what...."
[21:11] <Roy__> "well, that's interesting."
[21:11] <Albin> "She's the worst Anubis ever. At least according to this thing."
[21:11] <Erwin-> "Heehee~ of course." Erwin follows.
[21:11] * vanilla__ looks at her staff and appreciates its craftsmanship before following.
[21:11] <vanilla__> "Why Albin?"
[21:11] <Mack_Swain> "I think erwin just seduced somebody"
[21:12] <Albin> "Organized, sometimes even stern in their duties."
[21:12] <Albin> "That's what this book says."
[21:12] <vanilla__> "Guess the book is wrong."
[21:12] <vanilla__> "Unless Erwin's got some kind of a crazy talent."
[21:13] <Albin> "Or... she's a bad Anubis. I checked on the monsters we met, seemed allright."
[21:13] <Mack_Swain> "Well I guess if you stand around in the dark for centuries, you're liable to get bored
[21:13] * Albin walks into the passage, book-first.
[21:14] <~illcushion> The Anubis hugs the wall and wags her tail while walking through the pyramid. She leads everyone into a rather huge room. As the centerpiece is a throne with a little girl sitting on it.
[21:14] <vanilla__> "Well let's just go to the pharaoh or whatever, that in the book too?"
[21:14] * Albin flips some pages.
[21:14] <Albin> "Yes.... Well..."
[21:14] <Mack_Swain> "Hi. Are you the pharoah?"
[21:14] <vanilla__> "What's it say?"
[21:15] <Albin> "Let's hope that she's as bad of a Pharaoh as the Anubis is at being a monster."
[21:15] * Erwin- waves. "Hello!" He then pats the Anubis on the head. "Good job!"
[21:16] <Roy__> "Don't tell me that's the pharaoh."
[21:16] <~illcushion> The little girl yawns. "Awww, I was having such a nice dream too..." She then bounces off the throne. "Hi! I'm the Pharaoh! Nice to meet you."
[21:16] * vanilla__ walks up too "Evenin' pyramid lass."
[21:16] <Albin> "Hello."
[21:16] <Mack_Swain> "We need your help with a problem."
[21:17] <Roy__> "Yeah! I want my money back! By the way are these yours?"
[21:17] <vanilla__> "What, since when Mack?"
[21:17] * Roy__ holds out a sphinx doll
[21:17] <Mack_Swain> Vanilla did you forget you have hangers-on?
[21:17] <Erwin-> "Hi there! I was expecting you to be a little taller..." Erwin beams. "But it's ok! Lets be friends."
[21:17] <~illcushion> The Pharaoh(?) gasps then runs up to Roy and grabs the doll. "Yay, it's one of my dolls! Where'd you get this?"
[21:17] <Mack_Swain> "I figured a pharoah might help."
[21:18] <vanilla__> "You mean my shoggoth girl? I don't wanna get rid of her, I'll ask if she can sense the other one though."
[21:18] <Roy__> "There's a whole box out near the front."
[21:18] <Roy__> "Also some merchant is selling them for exorbitant prices."
[21:19] <Albin> "Well, it seems that there's nothing immediately dangerous around i guess."
[21:19] * vanilla__ approaches the pharaoh. " 'Scuse me miss pharaoh, you know anything about monster lasses who live in people's heads?"
[21:20] <Mack_Swain> "He means shoggoths"
[21:20] * Albin using the fact that Vanilla is busy, hides the lewd book in the bigger one then starts reading.
[21:20] <~illcushion> "A merchant selling my dolls? A thief! Anubis, gather the Desert Armored Squad and bring ruin to the thief! Your Pharaoh commands it!" says the little girl. The Anubis bows then runs away at lightning speed.
[21:21] <Mack_Swain> "Merchant also had a vase of yours."
[21:21] <Mack_Swain> "Though  i don't think an armed invasion of a port town is a wise idea..."
[21:21] <Roy__> "Yeah, maybe now I can get my money back."
[21:21] <vanilla__> "Wasn't really a town Mack."
[21:21] <~illcushion> The little girl then turns to Vanilla. "Ummmm, if you mean elementals, gnomey is like... right over there, in the next room over! We usually play chess together." She beams.
[21:21] <Albin> "Excuse me?"
[21:21] <Erwin-> "Ahaha that's kinda cu-wait what."
[21:21] <vanilla__> "No, I mean like a, er, demon?"
[21:21] * Albin hides everything and beams up.
[21:22] <Mack_Swain> "Gnome is the earth one yeah?"
[21:22] <vanilla__> "There another one in that room?"
[21:22] <Albin> "OHMYANOTHERELEMENTAL!"
[21:22] <vanilla__> "Another shoggoth named Gnomey huh?"
[21:22] <Erwin-> "Well then! I already have Sylph so I guess it wont hurt to be friends with Gnome!"
[21:22] <Albin> "D-does she accept visitors?"
[21:22] * vanilla__ goes to enter the room
[21:22] <Roy__> "Um, miss pharaoh, do you mind If I keep a few of these?"
[21:22] * Mack_Swain follows.
[21:22] * Erwin- just marches on over because he's rude.
[21:22] <Roy__> "Since I told about the thief and all?"
[21:23] <~illcushion> "Oh! Yeah, keep them! Do you want me to unlock her magic for you?" says the Pharaoh.
[21:23] * Albin marches in already bowing like an idiot.
[21:23] <Roy__> "What? They have magic?"
[21:24] <~illcushion> The group minus one march out into the gnome's room. A naked woman appears to be sleeping on a golden bed.
[21:24] <Albin> "Oh shit."
[21:24] <Erwin-> "Hellooooo~? Gnooooooome? I'm here to be your friend."
[21:24] <Mack_Swain> "maybe we should give her some privacy"
[21:24] * Albin covers his eyes with with the headwrap. Oh! It's see-through!
[21:24] * vanilla__ approaches her and taps her shoulder, " 'Scuse me, shoggoth lass gnomey or whatever, I've got some questions."
[21:25] <Erwin-> "That's kinda rude! She's sleeping."
[21:25] <Mack_Swain> "Why do you think she's a shoggoth you blasted moron."
[21:25] <vanilla__> "What? She isn't? Damn it."
[21:26] <Mack_Swain> No, she's the earth god or something. That's why albin's having a heart attack
[21:26] * Albin actually looks like he's having a heart attack.
[21:26] <vanilla__> "Another aboriginal god? That pyramid lass said that she has mind powers too though right? I'll ask anyway."
[21:26] <~illcushion> The Pharaoh pats Roy on the head standing on her tippy toes. "Aw, maybe I should let you unlock her instead! Now go, I wanna go back to sleepy time."
[21:27] <~illcushion> The gnome appears to be snoring pretty fuckin' loudly.
[21:27] <Erwin-> "God? Hey Sylph do you know her? Does she like pranks?"
[21:27] <vanilla__> "Albin, how do you wake up one of your aboriginal god girls?"
[21:28] <Roy__> "Aw, but, how? I didn't think it really had magic"
[21:28] <Albin> "C-can i step up to her? You're circling around her, you know."
[21:28] * vanilla__ makes way for Albin
[21:28] <~illcushion> Sylph speaks in Erwin's head. "She's noooot really a prankster like you and me, Erwin! She's a bit more laid back!"
[21:29] * Albin steps over and falls on his knees. He then mutters a earth-oriented prayer.
[21:29] <~illcushion> The Pharaoh ignores Roy and goes back to sleep, sitting on her throne.
[21:29] * Mack_Swain shrugs.
[21:29] <Erwin-> "Ehhhhh? Does that mean she's someone we pull pranks ON?" Erwin gets an evil grin.
[21:29] * Roy__ dejectedly joins the others
[21:30] <vanilla__> "No pranks Erwin, I need to ask questions about mind powers."
[21:30] <Mack_Swain> "I don't think you know what pranks are."
[21:30] <Mack_Swain> "Just being a dick doesn't count."
[21:30] <Roy__> "Oh hey, is that gnome or whatever"
[21:30] <Albin> "Great Earth Elemental, a loyal follower of the Nature's Way asks for your presense, aid and guidance."
[21:31] * Roy__ doesn't give a fuck and just sits down on the bed next to her because he's bummed out and shit
[21:32] <Albin> "Like new life from soil, rise. I beg of you."
[21:32] <~illcushion> The gnome yawns and rubs her eyes. "Aww, what time is it?"
[21:32] <Albin> "It's afternoon, Great Gnome."
[21:33] <Albin> "I am thankful for answer to my prayers."
[21:33] <Erwin-> "Time to make friends with a hero! I already have Sylph here right with me!"
[21:33] <vanilla__> "Evening, gnome lass, so, uh, are you a mind power expert like I was told?"
[21:33] <Roy__> "Evening, I guess."
[21:34] <~illcushion> "Buuuuh... mind powers? Is this about a contract...?" says the gnome, slowly getting up. A bunch of sand materializes on her body and forms into a long robe for decency's sakes.
[21:35] <vanilla__> "I've got some things that live in my head. I wanted to ask you about them. Not nature gods or nothin' like you."
[21:35] <Mack_Swain> "Yeah, I think a shoggoth "contracted" with vanilla here's brain."
[21:35] <Albin> "My friend mean a Zooticus, a demon from another dimension, Great Gnome."
[21:36] <Mack_Swain> A  what now
[21:36] <vanilla__> "Albin, I know kids like you like zoos, but there's none of those around here."
[21:36] <~illcushion> "Oh... okay, I'll see what I can do." She stands in front of Vanilla and locks eyes with him.
[21:37] * Roy__ pops the head back on the doll he decapitated earlier
[21:37] <Erwin-> "Bleeeeech! Everyone is saying big words while I was trying to make friends! Where's that Anubis?" Erwin just goes to have a wander while everyone bothers Gnome.
[21:37] <vanilla__> "Oh, uh she's friendly though, so be nice to her."
[21:38] <~illcushion> "Yes, that sure is a shoggoth. How did you get here, little one?" she says, her eyes still locked firmly to Vanilla's.
[21:38] * vanilla__ just relaxes and lets the gnome talk with the demon girl and thinks "Hope they can make friends. That'd be dandy."
[21:40] <~illcushion> "Hmm, that sure is complicated! Well then." The gnome slumps her shoulders. "Sad story aside, was there anything you wanted specifically?"
[21:41] <vanilla__> "Wait, wasn't two demon girls in my head?"
[21:41] <~illcushion> The gnome raises an eyebrow. "No, there is only one girl hiding in there. What made you think there's two?"
[21:42] <Albin> "Excuse me, Great Gnome, was her energy negative or positive in nature?"
[21:42] <vanilla__> "I met another one and she made my head hurt. Before that only one of my eyes was yellow, but now both of them are."
[21:43] <~illcushion> "Oh... she says she saved your brain, since the other one was going to kill you... and her." The gnome smirks. "She also says you shouldn't get ahead of yourself, casanova."
[21:44] <Albin> "So Alka killed Zoticus. Amazing."
[21:44] * Mack_Swain elbows vanilla
[21:45] <Roy__> "Bitch threatened to eat men, anyway."
[21:45] <~illcushion> The gnome turns to Albin. "She says that's wrong. The one who is called Zoticus is still alive, and eternal."
[21:45] <vanilla__> "Well, by Illias... Guess she's saved me too then."
[21:46] <Albin> "I do not understand demonic magic that much, then."
[21:47] <Mack_Swain> "Hmmm."
[21:47] <vanilla__> "I figure if I just say thanks she'll hear it, but tell her that it's appreciated greatly for me wouldya?"
[21:47] <Mack_Swain> "Since sylph tagged along with golden boy, I was wondering if you were going to as well."
[21:47] <vanilla__> "Well clearly not Albin, you were saying all demons had to be bad. But clearly Alka's a stand up lass. I'm glad to have her."
[21:47] * Albin gulps and says: "A-as i have your attention now, Great Gnome, could i ask something of you?"
[21:48] * vanilla__ starts munching on some dried meat
[21:48] <~illcushion> The gnome nods to Vanilla. "She says she was merely returning the favor, and she's happy she can see the world with you." She turns back to Albin. "Yes, dear, go ahead."
[21:48] <vanilla__> "Well you've got the floor Albin."
[21:49] <Albin> "I would be greatly thankful to be able to ask for two things, if i may."
[21:49] * vanilla__ sits down and watches Albin do whatever.
[21:49] * Albin reaches for the Steel Feather.
[21:50] <Albin> "This... item. Seems to be able to hold elemental power. Great Sylph has unlocked it's Wind potential. Could you do the same with the Earth element?"
[21:50] <~illcushion> "Fascinating artifact..." says the gnome. She grabs it, then licks it. "Eeh, tastes... bad."
[21:51] <Roy__> "Why do they all lick it?"
[21:51] <Albin> "Great Sylph said the same."
[21:51] <Mack_Swain> "beats me"
[21:52] <~illcushion> "Hrm... this should do it." The gnome takes the feather into her palm, then crushes it completely, turning it into metallic dust.
[21:52] <Albin> "I... don't think that was supposed to happen."
[21:53] <vanilla__> "Woah, such power."
[21:53] <Roy__> "Welp, that's great. Feather
[21:53] <Roy__> s gone now"
[21:53] <Erwin-> "I wonder what kind of girls that Anubis went to get." Erwin wonders as he walks around in no particular direction. "I sure am meeting some interesting ones today!"
[21:53] <~illcushion> As the dust falls to the floor, it begins to glow alternatingly light green and brown, before quickly assembling into the shape of a shortsword with jutting out edges.
[21:53] * Albin has the biggest OHMYGOD anime eyes ever.
[21:53] <vanilla__> "Hey gnomey, just how strong are yo - the heck is that?"
[21:54] <~illcushion> "Haven't seen one of these in over a thousand years... for that favor, I must ask one in return. Where did you get this artifact?" She pauses. "And why does it not taste good."
[21:54] <Mack_Swain> "He found it in a shop"
[21:54] <Roy__> "What does the taste have to do with anything?"
[21:54] <Albin> "I've found it in a general store in a monster stronghold, named Noemi."
[21:54] * Albin looks down and collects his courage to ask for another thing.
[21:55] <Albin> "Great Gnome. I am very thankful for your aid. Could i ask something else of you?"
[21:55] * Roy__ licks one of the sphinx dolls "meh"
[21:55] <~illcushion> "Please do, dear", says the gnome. She crosses her arms.
[21:56] * Mack_Swain idly licks a dynamite stick
[21:56] * vanilla__ licks some dried meat
[21:56] <Mack_Swain> "tastes like oregano
[21:56] * Mack_Swain smiles
[21:56] <Albin> "During our travels we have already met with monsters of great power. Demons that do not belong in this dimension."
[21:57] <Albin> "As our adventures progress, it's certain that we will be met with even stronger foes."
[21:57] <Albin> "C-could i ask for your direct aid?"
[21:58] <~illcushion> "Ah, a contract, then." She ruffles Albin's hair. "Of course, dear. I'll lend you my power."
[21:58] <Albin> "Thank you Great Elemental. It's an utmost honour to me."
[21:59] <vanilla__> "Nice idea Albin, she can talk to Alka so this'll work out great."
[21:59] <Mack_Swain> Well, we got what we came for, so lets hit the road.
[21:59] * Roy__ takes out a piece of paper and scribbles something down
[21:59] <~illcushion> "Of course... due to an incompatibility between you and the earth, I will perform the ritual of spiritual contract." She flashes a kind but lewd smile. "Do you accept?"
[22:00] <Mack_Swain> "Uh oh"
[22:00] <vanilla__> "Is that when you aboriginal religious folk dance around the fire with those masks?"
[22:01] <Mack_Swain> "I think it's something that requires privacy"
[22:01] <Albin> "If this is what the Elemental of the Earth thinks is the best course of action... I accept."
[22:01] <vanilla__> "Wait, so what is Albin actually doing?"
[22:01] <Mack_Swain> "I can only guess
[22:01] <Mack_Swain> "But I think we should leave just in case"
[22:02] <vanilla__> "Alright, I trust this gnomey anyway."
[22:02] <~illcushion> "He will become one with the earth" says the gnome. "Now, your friend is right, this does require privacy. Please, wait outside. I have a feeling it won't take long."
[22:02] * Roy__ returns back to the pharaoh's room since you know
[22:02] * Mack_Swain walks out, chuckling
[22:02] * vanilla__ walks out fucks around while Albin does something who knows what???
[22:04] <~illcushion> The gnome takes Albin's hand and guides it to her chest. "Now, little boy... just think of this as... a bath."
[22:04] * Albin blushes hard as fuck. Drools a little too.
[22:05] <~illcushion> FAST FORWARD ROUGHLY 5 MINUTES.
[22:06] <Erwin-> "And there was no real treasure either!" Erwin grumps around. "Unless...it was further down?"
[22:06] * Albin stumbles out of the room. He barely walks and looks all sorts of fucked up.
[22:06] <Mack_Swain> "How about we not steal from the nice pharoah
[22:06] * Roy__ meanwhile tucks one of the dolls vanilla gave him a while back under the pharoah's arm as she sleeps with the little thank-you note he wrote.
[22:07] <Mack_Swain> "well albin? you have fun?"
[22:07] <Albin> "Awaa...."
[22:07] <vanilla__> "Albin, she have to beat you up to make you tough as the earth or something?"
[22:07] * Albin sits down and looks up.
[22:08] <vanilla__> "Wait, no I know that look."
[22:08] * vanilla__ grumbles "God damn it."
[22:08] <Albin> "I... This is... Wow."
[22:08] <~illcushion> Erica flies out of Albin's hat. "Wooow, bro Albin, you're so dirty... to do it with gnomey like that! Heehee~!"
[22:08] <Mack_Swain> "Hey albin...."
[22:08] <Mack_Swain> "Isn't gnome like, you know, your god?"
[22:09] <Mack_Swain> "that must have been traumatizing."
[22:09] <~illcushion> Erwin walks around the pyramid and arbitrarily runs into the group after walking in circles for the last 50 minutes or so.
[22:09] <Albin> "She is. She blessed me with more than i deserved."
[22:09] <Albin> "And it's not just the binding...."
[22:09] <vanilla__> "Albin, you're fine with defiling your own god? Sorry, but I'll never understand you aboriginals."
[22:10] * Albin pulls out the Steel Feather. "Look at this. Gnome's and Sylph's powers combined made it into a weapon."
[22:10] <Erwin-> "Hello! Can we continue exploring now? There's still the area below us."
[22:10] <Mack_Swain> "neat"
[22:10] <Albin> "My head hurts."
[22:11] <Mack_Swain> "We don't need to explore anymore, We've got what we wanted
[22:11] <vanilla__> "Well, I don't care about any fancy weapons. My pa's old trusty blade is all I need."
[22:11] <Roy__> "I don't think there's anything more we need here"
[22:11] <~illcushion> "Heey, big bro hero Erwin! I thought you died! Again!" The fairy flies onto Erwin's head. "Big bro Albin is now a man, by the way!"
[22:12] <Roy__> "Besides I want my money back from that merchant while she's still conscious"
[22:12] * Albin stands up and collects himself. "Ugh, i should not be like that anymore, i'm on with the Earth now!"
[22:12] <Albin> "Where are we going exactly?"
[22:12] <Erwin-> "Neat! But who's gonna be king of the fairies now? Is the position open for me?" Erwin laughs.
[22:13] <Roy__> "Erwin I think you're stuck with king of the lizards cause of stella"
[22:13] <vanilla__> "I don't know, there probably isn't anything left on this island."
[22:13] <vanilla__> "Erwin, you're married. I won't let you cheat on Stella."
[22:14] * Mack_Swain heads back towards the entrance
[22:16] <Albin> "We might get out as well. All this soil and sand around us makes me dizzy."
[22:16] <vanilla__> "Thought you were one with the earth or something now Albin?"
[22:17] <Erwin-> "Nooooo there's still another flooor! We should really check it out quickly! What if there's another one of those elementals? Or something really important!"
[22:17] <Albin> "It's a new experience. I can feel earth in a way i've never thought is possible."
[22:17] <Mack_Swain> "This is the pharoah's home. We can't just rummage through it"
[22:17] <vanilla__> "I'd like to check out the other floor, but if you're all leaving it can't be helped."
[22:17] <~illcushion> As the group ponders the urgency of leaving a really unstable pyramid that could get buried at any time, the ground begins to shake.
[22:18] <Erwin-> "Well then!"
[22:18] <Mack_Swain> "Is that sandworm back?"
[22:18] <vanilla__> "By Illias, nevermind."
[22:18] <Mack_Swain> "Damn, I still need to find her a husband."
[22:18] <vanilla__> "Let's just leave."
[22:18] <Albin> "I'd rather run for it, guys."
[22:18] <vanilla__> "Why don't you volunteer Mack?"
[22:18] * vanilla__ starts heading up before he gets buried
[22:18] * Albin rushes out.
[22:19] <Mack_Swain> After you
[22:19] * Mack_Swain runs as well
[22:19] * Erwin- follows.
[22:19] <Roy__> "Guys, what about the pharaoh?" Roy says as he runs
[22:19] <vanilla__> "They've got magic, it'll be fine."
[22:20] <Albin> "She's a wielder of great magic, so she'll be fine, i think."
[22:20] <~illcushion> As everyone nears the entrance, they notice a rather large horde of... what are those, little girls in golden bug-like armor? (http://puu.sh/5Gwf7/44fb50711e.jpg)
[22:20] <Mack_Swain> "Are those things locusts?"
[22:21] * Erwin- waves. "Hellooo! Woah! There's a lot of you to make friends with!"
[22:21] <vanilla__> "The heck, a horde of flying monster lasses?"
[22:21] <Roy__> "Maybe thats the soldiers the pharaoh mentioned?"
[22:22] <~illcushion> "Oooooh! Sisters, look, humans who are raiding our great Pharaoh's hoard!" says one of the girls, pointing to the group.
[22:22] <Mack_Swain> "Hey, We're friendly!"
[22:22] <vanilla__> "Oh, I sup'ose. Hail soldiers of the desert!" says Vanilla and waves
[22:22] <Erwin-> "What? Noooo! I'm friends with that Anubis girl! She called me master and everything!"
[22:22] <Albin> "We did not attack anyone! Ask your leader about it!"
[22:23] <Roy__> "We even made friends with Gnome! Ask the little guy!"
[22:23] * Mack_Swain nervously rests his hand on his crossbow
[22:23] <~illcushion> "Oh." The girls all collectively d'aww and slump their shoulders. "We haven't met a single human in yeeeears! Now that a bunch show up, they're all friends with the Pharaoh!"
[22:24] <Mack_Swain> "Didn't the anibus go to the port village?
[22:24] <Albin> "We really do not mean any harm."
[22:24] <Mack_Swain> "Why not follow them tehre?"
[22:24] <Erwin-> "Well I'll be your friend too! I'm gonna be friends with everyone." Erwin beams. "Do you like pats on the head? Lots of monster girls seem to."
[22:26] <~illcushion> The khepri who spotted the group shouts "Yay! We found our king! Get him, sisters!". The horde all rush at Erwin at the same time.
[22:26] <Mack_Swain> "Oh shit."
[22:26] <Roy__> "Damn it Erwin"
[22:26] * Mack_Swain dives for cover
[22:27] * vanilla__ just sighs
[22:27] <Erwin-> "Well that's not what I was expecting!" Erwin absconds. "You wont catch me! I beat a mermaid at tag already!"
[22:28] <Erwin-> +2 ath
[22:29] <~illcushion> "Sisters, he's running away! First to catch him gets to go first!" says one of them amongst the mass. They chase Erwin deeper into the pyramids.
[22:29] <Roy__> "oh damn it. Just when we were leaving he goes back in"
[22:29] <vanilla__> "By Illias" Vanilla turns to the rest of the group "So what do you all propose we do?"
[22:29] <Mack_Swain> "He got away from the mermaid. He'll probably be fine.
[22:29] <Mack_Swain> "Let's just head out"
[22:30] <~illcushion> Erica flies out of Albin's hat. "Wait, we can't leave big bro hero Erwin's ghost to die!"
[22:30] <Mack_Swain> "Ghosts can't die."
[22:30] <Albin> "You're saying we should stop them?"
[22:30] <Mack_Swain> "He'll be fine, I'm sure."
[22:30] <vanilla__> "Erica's probably right Mack. What if that pyramid collapses on him because the commotion makes it unstable?"
[22:31] * Mack_Swain sighs.
[22:31] <Mack_Swain> "Fine."
[22:31] <Roy__> "Pharaoh seemed like a nice person. I'm sure she'd save him. maybe"
[22:32] <Albin> "If we're to fight them, i guess that going full out is appropriate."
[22:32] <Albin> "Anyone up for it? Vanilla?"
[22:32] <vanilla__> "Do we need to fight them? Albin, weren't you against violence? I've got a feeling if we attacked them in that pyramid it'd get us killed."
[22:33] <Mack_Swain> "We might not have a choice"
[22:33] <Albin> "I'm asking if you're up for it if shit hits the fan. As for now, let's negotiate."
[22:33] <vanilla__> " 'Course I am, I'm a man aren't I?"
[22:33] <Albin> "So that's decided. Let's go!"
[22:34] <Roy__> "But... I'm not suited for violence"
[22:34] * Albin runs into the pyramid, brandishing the Steel Feather.
[22:34] <Mack_Swain> Here roy"
[22:34] <vanilla__> "You can distract them with some dolls or something."
[22:34] * Mack_Swain hands roy a stick of dynamite and a match
[22:34] <~illcushion> Erica flies alongside Albin. "Big bro Albin, what's a fan?"
[22:34] <Roy__> "oh joy."
[22:34] <Mack_Swain> "If bad things happen, light the fuse and throw it away from all of us"
[22:34] * vanilla__ runs after Ablin, brandishing his old blade which is 1000 times cooler than some lame element sword
[22:35] * Mack_Swain follows vanilla
[22:35] * Roy__ follows along
[22:35] <Albin> "I don't know, my grandpa just said that once. Seemed suiting the situation."
[22:36] <~illcushion> The group proceed back to the Pharaoh's level. In the room the gnome was sleeping at, they find the horde of armored girls fighting amongst themselves on who gets to go first. Erwin's just kind of in the corner.
[22:36] <Albin> "They seem disctracted. Here's our chance."
[22:36] <Mack_Swain> "Just grab erwin and book it"
[22:37] <Albin> (+4 athletics to anime around and above the fight and grab Erwin.)
[22:37] <Erwin-> "Hey hey! If you all just do each other then the strongest one will be left right? Do it like that! It's like a fun game!" Erwin suggests. +3 rapport
[22:37] <vanilla__> "Good idea, let's try that."
[22:37] * Roy__ motions with his hand for Erwin to come to them
[22:38] <~illcushion> Albin uses his small stature to maneuver around the infighting horde. He makes it to Erwin's side easily.
[22:38] <Albin> "Ok, let's go,"
[22:38] * Albin pulls on Erwin's shoulder.
[22:38] <Erwin-> "Sure." Erwin is pulled.
[22:39] * Albin so they ran away.
[22:39] <Albin> (+3 to do the same shit.)
[22:40] <Erwin-> +1 Athhhh
[22:41] <~illcushion> Albin bumps into one of the girls, which causes him to fall down while still pulling Erwin along. All of them turn to look at them.
[22:41] <Albin> "Oh fuck."
[22:41] * Mack_Swain takes a single stick of dynamite and lights a match
[22:41] <~illcushion> "Wah! He's taking our future king! Quick, get them!" says one of them. They start closing in on Albin and Erwin with lewd looks on their faces.
[22:41] <Albin> "I think i liked my position in the back better."
[22:42] * Mack_Swain lights the stick and throws it into the center of the room (+4)
[22:42] * vanilla__ jumps up onto the bed that Gnome used to be sleeping on and draws in breath to make himself look bigger "Listen here monster lasses! That boy is taken by a lizard girl. It'd be immoral to take him as your king! Release him!"
[22:42] * Albin stands up and takes a stance.
[22:43] <Erwin-> "Ahhhh you people all talk too much! This is annoying!" Erwin just tries to blow everyone in the room away with wind. +3 mysteries.
[22:44] <Albin> "In my small frame lies power of the Earth! Wha-?"
[22:44] <~illcushion> The dynamite blows up in the middle of the room, severely damaging Albin and Erwin who are thrown across, the girls and the wind absorbing most of the blast.
[22:44] * Mack_Swain runs and grabs erwin and albin
[22:45] <~illcushion> A rather large hole is now in the middle of the room. Most of the girls appear to have fallen down.
[22:45] <~illcushion> Either that, or they were disintegrated. But probably the first thing.
[22:45] <Erwin-> "Owwww......"
[22:46] <Albin> (+2 endurances himself to stand up)
[22:46] * vanilla__ runs up to Albin and Erwin and brandishes his sword to fight off any remaining bug girls who might chase them
[22:46] <~illcushion> Albin manages to stand up on his own.
[22:46] <Mack_Swain> "Well, hope you all aren't deaf
[22:47] <Roy__> "What!"
[22:47] <vanilla__> "That'd be your fault you damned retard Mack."
[22:47] <Erwin-> I only got +1 endurance ;-;
[22:47] <Mack_Swain> "I'm retarded? You just tried to intimidate a massive mob of bloodthirsty beetle things"
[22:47] <Albin> "Come on Erwin, we came here for you, after all."
[22:48] <vanilla__> "I woulda fought them off with my sword and brawn, rather than almost killing the two we were trying to save."
[22:48] * Albin pulls Erwin on his back and starts to rush out.
[22:48] * illcushion_ ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[22:48] <Mack_Swain> "You would have gotten yourself killed"
[22:49] * Roy__ sneaks back into pharaoh's room and leaves another note apologizing for the new hole in her floor.
[22:50] <Mack_Swain> "Now can we please leave?"
[22:50] <Albin> "If you lend me a hand with this idiot, sure!"
[22:50] <vanilla__> "Better I possibly get killed than possibly killing a kid and a fake hero because you're a pansy who can only use explosives."
[22:50] * illcushion ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[22:51] <Mack_Swain> "that was supposed to be a non-lethal blast."
[22:51] <Mack_Swain> "I could have cut them down with my crossbow if you'd liked"
[22:51] * Albin pulls Erwin, but it's hard to grab a hold on anything when being EXPLODED. It's also hard to be a gangsta.
[22:51] <vanilla__> "Well, you did a great Illias damned job at that Mack. Reaaaal impressive. If it had gone wrong they'd be dead."
[22:52] * vanilla__ picks up Erwin because he has the highest might in the party anyways
[22:52] * illcushion ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[22:52] * ChanServ sets mode +qo illcushion illcushion for #monmusuRPG
[22:52] * illcushion_ ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[22:53] * Mack_Swain exits, stage left
[22:54] <~illcushion> AND SO I GUESS THE GROUP LEAVES THE PYRAMIDS FOR REASONS DISCLOSED IN SECTION 69.
[22:54] <Mack_Swain> "Well, now where are we off to."
[22:54] <Roy__> "Time to get my refund maybe"
[22:55] <vanilla__> "Only thing I can think of is a murder case we didn't solve back in Sourvale."
[22:55] <vanilla__> "Also demons but that's pretty risky."
[22:55] <Mack_Swain> "That's a whole ocean behind us now"
[22:55] <vanilla__> "Unless those are involved."
[22:55] <vanilla__> "The captain's waiting for us."
[22:55] <vanilla__> "Also a sea."
[22:55] <Mack_Swain> "he is?"
[22:55] <vanilla__> "Not an ocean."
[22:55] <Albin> "Or how about we get to the boat and get some rest."
[22:56] <vanilla__> "Cattan isn't that far away from the continent. Are you daft and have never seen a map?"
[22:56] * illcushion_ ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[22:56] <Albin> "It's already late afternoon, by the time we get there sun will be setting."
[22:56] <Mack_Swain> "We still need an inn..."
[22:56] <Mack_Swain> "And one that isn't robbery"
[22:57] <vanilla__> "You can't sleep on a boat Mack?"
[22:57] <Erwin-> "The shop girl! We need to check on her!" Erwin tries to stop that whole thing where people are carrying him.
[22:57] <Albin> "Oh, by the way, Erwin. Are you okay? You got hit worse than me after all."
[22:57] <Erwin-> "I'll endure it!"
[22:58] <Mack_Swain> "boats make me seasick"
[22:58] * illcushion ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[22:58] <vanilla__> "Well just deal with it you city fruit. Unless you want to stay on this shitty island forever."
[22:58] * Albin picks some herbs from his backpack and hands them to Erwin: "Here, these work as painkillers."
[22:58] <vanilla__> "Go marry that sandworm I guess."
[22:59] * Erwin- is already heading off to the gift shop. "Winners dont do drugs!"
[22:59] <Mack_Swain> I just need that gem
[22:59] <Mack_Swain> "So I'll just tell her your her husband"
[23:00] <vanilla__> "I'll hit you if you try that Mack."
[23:00] * Albin touches his chest and hisses with pain. He then gulps down on the herbs.
[23:00] * vanilla__ follows Erwin because fuq Mack
[23:01] * Roy__ follows Erwin toward the shop "My money!"
[23:01] <Albin> "Nothing better but go there."
[23:01] * Albin goes there.
[23:01] * illcushion ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[23:02] * illcushion_ ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[23:02] <illcushion> I GUESS the party reaches the Gift Shop. It appears no worse for wear than the last time they checked it out, which was coincidentally, today.
[23:03] <illcushion> Inside is one of the armored bug ladies sweeping the floor while the shopkeeper from before watches her, smugly.
[23:03] * Roy__ puts his hands on his head "WHAT"
[23:03] * Erwin- waves as he heads in. "Hi again! I guess you handled this on your own eh?"
[23:03] <vanilla__> "I ain't dealing with none of this monster girl merchant business. I'm going to go lay down in the boat."
[23:04] <Albin> "I'm right with you on that."
[23:04] <Roy__> "What happened, wheres that Anubis girl at?"
[23:04] <Albin> "Or not, actually, i have a better idea."
[23:05] <illcushion> The happy merchant waves at Erwin. "Hello again, hero! This rascal's paying for her sisters, who knocked over a bunch of really important vases. She's going to be repaying it, and her shift's up in... one thousand years."
[23:05] <vanilla__> "Well enjoy yourself then."
[23:05] * vanilla__ goes and lays down in a cot while reading his favorite passages from the Book of Illias.
[23:06] <Erwin-> "That's a little harsh! Is there no way to shorten it a little? And what about that doggy girl?"
[23:06] <Roy__> "Hey! I want my money back for that doll you sold me earlier!"
[23:06] * Albin heads over to a small sandy hill nearby and sits down, trying to feel the earth with his soul. You can count that as being an aboriginal.
[23:07] <Roy__> "It wasn't even yours to sell! It was the pharaoh's!"
[23:08] <illcushion> The merchant tilts her head. "Doggy girl? No doggies came by through here. I'd remember her!"
[23:09] <Erwin-> "Weird! So what kind of girl are you anyways? I cant really tell from your tail."
[23:09] <illcushion> She turns to Roy. "And... I already explained it to the rascals who came earlier, I found the dolls in a chest, and as the adventuring manual says, any items found in chests are yours alone!" She folds her arms. "Besides, there's no refunds!"
[23:10] <Roy__> "Adventuring manual? What!?"
[23:10] <illcushion> "Yeah! Look, over there." She points to a bookcase full of small books. "It's... one of those."
[23:11] <Erwin-> "You're like a uh...squirrel? A raccoon? A...raccoon dog?" Erwin guestimates.
[23:12] <Roy__> "Can I at least get a partial refund? I mean, sheesh, I found a whole bunch of them, they're not worth 45000"
[23:12] <illcushion> She turns back to Erwin. "Well, hero, I'm just a friendly tanuki! I settled here a loooong time ago... I guess I'm sort of a raccoon if you REALLY want to link me to a specific animal, for some... perverted reason."
[23:13] * Erwin- stares at the Tanuki girl. "Hrmmm I wonder...It works on them so why would it not work on those? They're a similar species..." He mumbles to himself.
[23:14] <illcushion> "If I handed out refunds to anyone who asked, I wouldn't be in business!" says the shopkeeper. "No way, nuh-uh." She shakes her head.
[23:14] * vanilla__ appreciates how grand and finely written the work of Saint Gabriel is in the book of Illias.
[23:15] <Mack_Swain> "Well you certainly seem like a raccoon."
[23:15] <Mack_Swain> "You're a theif."
[23:16] * Albin meditates for a while and actually makes himself able to feel the Earth in some of it's glory.
[23:16] * Erwin- pets her just for the hell of it. "Well I think you're a very good shopkeeper! Well done!" +4 rapport.
[23:16] <Roy__> "But it's only be just this once and you'd really help me out nice raccoon lady" (rapport or whatever the hell I sure to sweet talk her +3)
[23:17] <illcushion> Her face turns into one of anger as she glares at Mack. "Yeah, well, you can stick your... what are you doing?" She turns to Erwin's petting hand, raising her eyebrow.
[23:18] <Erwin-> "Petting? Most of the girls I meet seem to like it..."
[23:18] * Mack_Swain sighs
[23:19] <illcushion> The tanuki blushes. "Well, um, anyways! I'm sorry, but I can't possibly give you a refund. I'd be dishonoring my entire family name!"
[23:20] <Mack_Swain> "Well, I hope you don't mind if we return all these misplaced things back to their proper owners. You don't even have to pay us for it"
[23:20] * vanilla__ notices Illiasian poet Hasoid's works and days is included in this edition of the good book and is pleased.
[23:20] <Erwin-> "Well we cant have that! Guess there's no refunds today!"
[23:21] * Mack_Swain starts gathering all the books with the library seal on them
[23:21] * Albin stands up, mutters a quick prayer of thinks and wanders into the store.
[23:21] <Roy__> "But.. but..." Roy grumbles under his breath "stupid merchants. And father wonders why I didn't want to take over the business."
[23:21] <illcushion> The tanuki jumps from the other side of the desk. "Hey, wait, what are you doing? Those were delivered to me by the... merchant of... somewhere!"
[23:21] <Erwin-> "Maybe if they scream about how it's unfair to that Ilias person they'll fix it for them eh? They always shout about Ilias when stuff goes wrong." Erwin winks at the Tanuki and grins. "So silly!"
[23:22] <Mack_Swain> "Libraries don't sell books."
[23:22] <Albin> "Hi guys, what's going on?"
[23:22] * Mack_Swain stuffs the books in his bag and starts to walk out of the store
[23:22] * vanilla__ gets up to check on whatever the party is doing
[23:23] <Erwin-> "Heeey woah! Sylph you should probably stop the thief with that wind thing you do." +2 mysteries to stop thief.
[23:24] * vanilla__ notices Mack walking out "Got a full backpack there. You buy a bunch of stuff?"
[23:24] <Mack_Swain> "Erwin, these books are way past their turn in dates. I'm just helping the tanuki return them."
[23:24] <Albin> "Thief? You mean like the Tanuki Merchant who has the library books?"
[23:24] <illcushion> The wind blows from outside and pushes Mack back into the store. It also causes a vase to fall over, which causes the bug lady sweeping the floor to pout.
[23:25] * vanilla__ enters the store "What's going on here?"
[23:25] <Erwin-> "She had them delivered! Now just put em back already I dont want to cause a fight or anything."
[23:25] <Mack_Swain> "Erwin, That's not how libraries work. These aren't her books, so I'm helping return them."
[23:25] <Albin> "Erwin, books from a library are not for sale. These are stolen, no matter how you look at it."
[23:25] * Mack_Swain brushes himself off and walks out again
[23:25] <illcushion> The tanuki wags her tail around. "Good, good, goy hero! Now, put those books back where they were, or I'll have to use my trump card."
[23:26] <vanilla__> "If this is about the books, there's no way any of those books that are the rightful property of the church are staying."
[23:27] <Roy__> "What do you mean by trump card? You gonna sell us a warranty we don't need?"
[23:27] <Erwin-> "He's not listening! Guess you have to use the trump card pretty taunki girl."
[23:27] * Mack_Swain starts  walking out
[23:27] <illcushion> "If by warranty, you mean wife... and by don't need, you mean don't want..." the tanuki begins to laugh as she digs out a whistle from her pocket.
[23:27] * vanilla__ blocks the doorway so Mack won't be blown back in.
[23:28] <Roy__> "What is that whistle for?"
[23:29] <illcushion> "Ohhh, just calling a friend of mine..." The tanuki blows on the whistle, which produces no audible sound whatsoever.
[23:29] * vanilla__ yells out "Mack! Take those books to the boat! I'll keep anything from happening!"
[23:30] * Mack_Swain starts walking towards the ship, giving negative fucks
[23:30] <Erwin-> "Oh! Is it Sandra? That's a pretty good prank."
[23:30] <Roy__> "Fuck. What was that."
[23:30] <Erwin-> "I like you!"
[23:30] <Roy__> "Wait, was it really the sand worm?"
[23:30] <vanilla__> "Albin, use your earth powers so they can't burrow or something!"
[23:31] <Mack_Swain> "Sorry, what's going on?"
[23:31] <illcushion> As Mack nears the ship, he is stopped by a gigantic creature bursting through the wooden planks at the dock.
[23:31] * vanilla__ rushes outside to the commotion.
[23:31] * Mack_Swain rolls his eyes, and unshoulders his crossbow
[23:31] * Albin walks out and stares.
[23:32] * vanilla__ goes up to Mack and whispers "If this is Sandra, lemme try a little lie first before you shoot."
[23:32] * Mack_Swain whispers "since when do sandworms come from water?"
[23:33] <illcushion> The sandworm-like creature stares down at Mack. It has yet to open its mouth, but its red eyes around the mouth are staring at him.
[23:33] * vanilla__ whispers quickly "Right... I've got your back here Mack. Damn merchant."
[23:33] * Roy__ uses the commotion to try to steal some candy from the store because he's petty like that (slight of hand +3)
[23:34] <Mack_Swain> "Hold this."
[23:34] * Mack_Swain hands the crossbow to Vanilla
[23:34] * vanilla__ holds the crossbow
[23:34] * Albin steps over to the rest, Steel Feather in hand.
[23:34] <illcushion> Roy successfully steals a bunch of candy. The merchant does not notice, because she's too busy looking out the window and humming.
[23:34] <Albin> "I don't like thieves either."
[23:34] * Mack_Swain takes a hilariously huge wad of dynamite out of his backpack
[23:35] * Erwin- also hangs out looking from the window. "He deserves it really."
[23:36] <Mack_Swain> "Please move."
[23:36] * Roy__ walks out to the others and takes a read stance or something I guess
[23:36] * Albin steps away: "Don't blow yourself up."
[23:36] <illcushion> The sandworm opens its mouth, revealing a beautiful woman. She coldly stares at Mack, flatly declaring "No."
[23:37] * Mack_Swain sighs.
[23:37] * vanilla__ tightens his grip on his sword and thinks "I have to get this out of here, for my pride as a man, and in Illiasdom."
[23:38] <Erwin-> "So are you from anywhere nice? My village is kinda small and not that interesting outside of all the nice sheep girls." Erwin just chitchats with Taunki.
[23:38] <Albin> (rolls +2 alertness in case the Sanworm tries anything.)
[23:38] <vanilla__> (+4 alertness)
[23:39] <Mack_Swain> +1 alertness wooo
[23:39] * Roy__ takes out that sealing sword he got way back when rolls a 0 on alertness and comments "I just wanted my money"
[23:40] <illcushion> The sandworm lets out a low giggle as she closes up her mouth. She proceeds to Stand There.
[23:43] * vanilla__ rushes up to the sandworm brandishing his sword and attempts to stab an outside red eye with it (+5 fated for muh pride)
[23:44] <illcushion> Vanilla's attack is effortlessly blocked by the Sandworm, his attack feeling more like it just bounced off a rock. (+6 Endurance)
[23:45] * Albin jumps forward, and smashes his sword down on Sandworm's head with power of the Earth (+2 Mysteries, +4 Weapons)
[23:46] <illcushion> The sandworm brushes off the attack. (+5 Endurance) She appears to flinch from the blow, however.
[23:49] <illcushion> Sandworm Girl dives underground, the entire beach shaking from its movement. She emerges underneath Vanilla's body, attempting to ram him from below.
[23:49] <vanilla__> (+2)
[23:50] <illcushion> Vanilla attempts to action roll, but the ground shaking causes him to mis-step and get rammed. She opens his mouth, turning her back to everyone else.
[23:53] * Mack_Swain sprints around to get a clear view of the sandworm's mouth (+4 athletics)
[23:54] * Mack_Swain lights the dynamite cluster and flings it at the sandgirl's mouth (+5, fated)
[23:59] <illcushion> The sandworm looks at Mack angrily while catching the bomb with her slimy hands. She drops it into her stomach. A huge explosion happens within her, then she lets out a burp and covers her mouth. (+6 Endurance)

[00:00] * Roy__ Roy attacks the thing from behind because fuck if he knows anything about "Tactics" and attempts to stab into her hide (+2 weapons)
[00:01] <illcushion> Roy's attack literally does not motherfucking register as a proper hit on a manual ever. (+5 Endurance)
[00:01] <Mack_Swain> "Vanilla I'm gonna need my crossbow back?
[00:03] <Erwin-> "Well I can safely say I'm glad I never stole anything." Erwin watches the battle. "Pays off to be on the good side of all the pretty girls after all I guess."
[00:03] <illcushion> The tanuki hums. "Mmmm... you know, they're going pretty far for a bunch of books."
[00:04] <Erwin-> "Yeah they're weird! It cant be helped though right? You gotta punish thiefs."
[00:04] * Mack_Swain grabs the crossbow from vanilla
[00:07] <Albin> "Vanilla! Remember how we attacked the Weresheep?! Let's do the same!"
[00:07] <Albin> "With blades, of course!"
[00:08] * vanilla__ leaps up and goes for a slash to the sandworm's unguarded flesh! "For Illias!" (+5 fated)
[00:08] <Erwin-> "I really hope they just get the idea and give up...I dont really want to pay for all of those books just because they're idiots." Erwin sighs. "The life of a hero is hard."
[00:10] <illcushion> Vanilla's hit pierces into the flesh of the Sandworm's tongue-lady! It seems to deal minor damage, causing the sandworm to twitch a little bit. (+4 Endurance)
[00:10] * Albin runs up and attacks her from the downside with a battle cry! ([+1 Mysteries][Fated][+3 Weps]=+6)
[00:11] <illcushion> Albin's attack bounces off the Sandworm. She feels like a fly just landed on her. (+6 Endurance)
[00:12] <illcushion> The Sandworm Girl smiles lewdly at Vanilla, licks her lips and attempts to ram into him with her mouth!
[00:16] * illcushion_ ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[00:16] <vanilla__> (+3 fated)
[00:17] * illcushion ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[00:20] <illcushion_> Vanilla's rammed by the Sandworm's mouth and taken into it! He is held by the soft tongue-lady as she giggles and coos him.
[00:21] <Erwin-> "Uh...tanuki? You know if she leaves with him you'll still have no books right?"
[00:22] <illcushion_> The raccoon lady chuckles. "Pff, nice one, hero! No, she's not leaving. She's my little stepdaughter!"
[00:23] * Mack_Swain arms his crossbow, and fires a barrage of bolts at the external eye (since vanilla's fat ass is blocking the soft bits) (+2 archery,+2 on the roll, +2 fate = +6)
[00:24] <Erwin-> "Oh! So it's like a hostage situation? That's pretty smart." Erwin pats her on the head. "You're really crafty!"
[00:25] <illcushion_> The Sandworm's rock-like exterior deflects the entire barrage. The tongue-lady does seem a bit bothered by them though. (+6 Endurance)
[00:26] <Erwin-> +5 rapport just fuckin around at this point
[00:27] <illcushion_> "Weeeeeell... I mean, don't get me wrong, the books ARE coming back to me! But he's..." The tanuki seems to struggle with the words. "Not."
[00:28] * Roy__ takes a deep breath then, using his awesome ventriloquist voice throwing skills, uses his best impersonation of the tanuki to yell at the sandworm "Hey! what are you doing! Spit that guy out you don't even know where he's been!" (Rapport +3)
[00:29] <Erwin-> "Oh...well that's a shame! At least Sandra will be happy." Erwin just smiles as he watches the battle and pats the pure evil next to him.
[00:29] <illcushion_> The Sandworm does a full 180 and looks at Roy. Still clutching Vanilla tightly, she raises an eyebrow at him. She does not let go of Vanilla though. (+3 Resolve)
[00:33] * vanilla__ "AAAAAAaaaaaahhh!" grabs the bag of SOMETHING that Albin gave him and vigorously rubs what's inside it into the open wound made by his earlier slash (+4 fated)
[00:33] * vanilla__ gives a short mental prayer to Illias as well.
[00:36] <illcushion_> Vanilla successfully smears the stuff all over the tongue-lady (+3 Endurance). She cringes before giggling and continuing to cradle Vanilla, playing with his hair.
[00:40] * Albin infuses one of his sealing daggers with the power of the earth and throws it at her body! (+7 weapons overall, fated)
[00:41] * Erwin- laughs. "Wooow she's really affectionate! Just give the books back you idiots!" he wanders out and shouts to the sandworm. "Hey Sandy you probably dont want to keep a guy like that! And you need to be getting the books anyways! You'll be upsetting a hero if you dont you know? That's pretty bad." +3 Rapport.
[00:41] <illcushion_> Albin's dagger pierces into the soft body of the Sandworm! She takes minor damage. (+6 Endurance)
[00:41] <Mack_Swain> "Screw you erwin!"
[00:41] * vanilla__ just starts talking to the sandworm because he'll probably be dead soon anyway "So you good friends with the merchant? You're going through a lot of effort preying on me and all for her."
[00:42] <Albin> "If we get out of this alive, I'm going to kill you, Erwin!"
[00:42] <Erwin-> "Sounds fun!"
[00:43] <illcushion_> The Sandworm giggles. "Preying... such strong language! She promised me a mate for my protection, and here you are~! My knight in shining armor..." The Sandworm licks her lips, closing up the exterior shell.
[00:43] * MackSwain ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[00:46] <Albin> "Mack! Roy! Let's do this together or he's done for!"
[00:46] <illcushion_> Tanuki pats Erwin on the shoulder. "This should be good, hero."
[00:46] <vanilla__> "Did you know I'm half demon? My semen's no good. It's been corrupted by dark energy and you can't make babies with it. You're getting a raw end of the deal tell you what."
[00:47] * Erwin- nods. "Do you have a plan if she loses? They might try to beat you up."
[00:47] <illcushion_> "Who said anything about babies, my dear?" says the Sandworm, attempting to dissolve Vanilla's clothes with a liquid substance.
[00:47] * Mack_Swain ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[00:47] * MickySwain ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[00:47] <MickySwain> test
[00:47] * MackSwain ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[00:48] <vanilla__> "It tastes yucky as hell though. I had a harpy tell me I'm gross not so long ago."
[00:48] <vanilla__> "You have any other worm friends?"
[00:49] * MickySwain unleashes another barrage of bolts, aimed at the same eye as before (+3 roll, +2 archery, +2 fated, 7 totall)
[00:49] <illcushion_> "Heh, friends... it's a wasteland, there are no friends, only competition. That's why I allied myself with Miss Tanuki, my dear." The Sandworm keeps coddling Vanilla inside her SAFE INTERIOR.
[00:50] <vanilla__> "You don't have any friends? That's real sad. If I'm going to be your husband do you plan to make me your friend?"
[00:50] <illcushion_> Mack's bolts manage to hit the mark. They do, however, produce very little noticeable damage. (+6 Endurance)
[00:52] <illcushion_> The Sandworm giggles. "Oh, of course we'll be friends... you shouldn't worry about that, my body will pleasure you so much, I'll be the only thing you'll want to see or feel..."
[00:52] <vanilla__> "Can't you keep me sane at least, don't you want somebody you can talk to as well. I don't mean to be a downer, but with my disgusting semen, it's basically what I'm good for."
[00:53] <illcushion_> "Suuure, you have my promise, my dear..."
[00:54] <vanilla__> "Well much obliged. Hey you can go into the sea since you're in it now right? Ever tried going to continent, there's tons of men there."
[00:54] <vanilla__> "You know the way there?"
[00:54] * Erwin- grimaces. "I feel sorry for that sandworm! She'll probably get sick from touching Vanilla you know? He's been in some weird places."
[00:56] <illcushion_> "Mmmm, the sea... I can't quite swim in the sea. Sand is like the sea, but it's... a bit rougher. Don't worry though, no sand will reach us in here..."
[00:56] <Roy__> "Ms Tanuki, if I make a deal with you, will you call your worm off of our friend?"
[00:56] <vanilla__> "You know the sea has a floor right? You can go under it I bet, and it's not so far away. This is just a coastal island. I bet you could make it if you tried, since it's not ocean deep. Never give up! Right?"
[00:57] <illcushion_> The Sandworm seems deep in thought. "Hmmmm... you're right, there is a bottom, isn't there? Maybe we should go there... got any plans for next week, beyond mating with me~?"
[00:57] <vanilla__> "There's even a monster girl city where even monster lasses as big as you can reside. Flocks of men go there to find monster lasses to marry like you."
[00:58] <vanilla__> "Well, depends on if I can get out of here, but I got a bar tab I gotta pay as well."
[00:58] <vanilla__> "Back in my hometown of Sourvale."
[00:58] <vanilla__> "You'd like it, real nice town."
[00:58] <illcushion_> The tanuki stops humming and turns to Roy. "Mm-hm? Oh, that depends on what the deal is."
[00:59] <Roy__> "M-my father's a merchant a couple regions away! If you let our friend go I can work out an invoice to send or something!"
[01:00] <MickySwain> "not a chance in hell we're giving in to that crook, roy!"
[01:00] <illcushion_> The tanuki smirks. "I woooould consider that, but your friend's making it awfully difficult there... I can't hear myself think! Heheheheh."
[01:00] * MickySwain discharges a bolt in the tanuki's direction
[01:02] <MickySwain> (+2)
[01:03] <illcushion_> The tanuki jumps into the air and grabs the bolt between her fingers. (+5 athletics) She smirks at Mack with the most smug son of a bitch content face.
[01:03] <vanilla__> "Anyway, you mind not ruining my clothes? They were a gift this pair. I can take them off when we're underground and you can store 'em somewhere?"
[01:04] <Erwin-> "I mean if I'll pay for all those books if I'm allowed! I don't know if I still have any money though..." Erwin checks his other pocket. +4 Resources
[01:05] <illcushion_> Erwin grabs a pretty cool ring with a red gem wow look at that it sparkles.
[01:05] <Erwin-> "Oooo that's pretty! Will you accept this?" Erwin holds it out to the tanuki.
[01:07] <Roy__> "I'll let you take whatever wears you want, even replace the books."
[01:07] <illcushion_> The tanuki's eyes widen. "Wooow, so pretty... Sure I'll take this ring, hero... but I want them to apologize for calling me a thief! So terrible and disrespectful!"
[01:07] <Erwin-> "Just do it guys please."
[01:07] <Erwin-> "Seriously."
[01:08] <MickySwain> "go die, erwin!"
[01:08] <MickySwain> "I can't believe you"
[01:08] <Erwin-> "I dont really want to come out of this married again...well thats kinda a lie but I dont want to be married again right now."
[01:09] <illcushion_> "Well then..." The raccoon takes the ring from Erwin's hand, then hands it back to him immediately, as if to prove a point. "Though you drive a hard bargain, I can't accept this."
[01:10] <Roy__> Sorry racoon dog
[01:10] * vanilla__ just continues chatting with the sandworm
[01:11] <illcushion_> "I didn't mean you apologizing! I mean him!" The tanuki points to Mack.
[01:11] <Erwin-> "He means miss pretty tanuki who is perfect in every way. Right Roy? Ok yeah Vanilla is doomed."
[01:13] <Erwin-> "Just do it Mack! I hate you so damn much! Every time I try to do something you have to be a dick and mess with it!" Erwin glares. "Just say sorry or I'll stop being a hero just to ram that goddamn crossbow up your ass!" +5 intimidation fuck you Mack.
[01:14] * Albin  slashes again, earth infusing his blow, blinded by the rage (fated,+2 from mysteries=8 Weps)
[01:15] <illcushion_> Albin's blow hits the Sandworm's rough exterior. She... allegedly takes damage. You can't see it from there, though. (+6 Endurance)
[01:19] * MickySwain hurls his crossbow at the ground and swears
[01:19] <MickySwain> "Fine. I'm sorry."
[01:19] <MickySwain> "Just spit the country bumpkin out"
[01:20] <Erwin-> "Ahhhhhh! I'll kill yo-wait he actually did it."
[01:20] <illcushion_> "Allll I wanted to hear." The tanuki then blows on her whistle, causing the sandworm to spit out Vanilla.
[01:20] <vanilla__> "Oh, is it over? Well, he sandworm lass, don't leave right after spitting me out. Maybe I could help you get the continent."
[01:20] * MickySwain continues swearing
[01:20] * Erwin- laughs while hugging the Tanuki. "He actually did it! I cant believe it!"
[01:21] * Albin squats near Vanilla: "You allright?"
[01:21] * Roy__ lets out a deep sigh "Thank goodness I don't have to actually contact father" he mutters to himself
[01:22] <illcushion_> The sandworm girl burrows back into the ground and reappears below the tanuki, who pats the rough exterior of the sandworm.
[01:22] <vanilla__> "Phew, can't believe I ain't mincemeat."
[01:22] * vanilla__ stands up
[01:23] <illcushion_> Erica flies on top of Vanilla's head. "Ewww, big bro icecream, why do you smell like... mincemeat."
[01:23] * MickySwain attempts to bend his crossbow back into shape
[01:23] * Albin takes a deep breath. "It's good to have you back. I thought you were gone for a second."
[01:23] * vanilla__ walks up to the tanuki and sand worm girl.
[01:23] <vanilla__> "Me too kiddo."
[01:23] * Erwin- holds out the ring for Tanuki again. "Even if you dont want this you can still have it! A token of friendship or something."
[01:23] <vanilla__> "So if you want to get to the continent where you can find a willing husband."
[01:23] <Erwin-> "Oh hey vanilla! I saved your life by the way."
[01:23] <vanilla__> "I've got this map here and I can mark the way."
[01:24] <illcushion_> The tanuki takes the ring, polishes it then sticks it in her pocket, giving Erwin a hug.
[01:24] * vanilla__ pats Erwin on the back, concealing any anger he could possibly be holding back for not helping at first.
[01:24] <vanilla__> "Thanks truly."
[01:24] <MickySwain> "I'm still taking the books."
[01:24] * vanilla__ pulls out his map of the continent and the islands around it
[01:24] * MickySwain walks over to the bag
[01:25] * Albin stays on the dock because distaste towards group's reverse trap. "Erica? Mind walking back to the boat? I'm afraid i'd kill somebody if i come over there."
[01:25] <Erwin-> "Ehehehehehe."
[01:25] * vanilla__ starts making some markings on it for directions "Hey ms. sand worm lass, about how fast do you burrow?"
[01:25] <illcushion_> The tanuki bounces up to Mack. "Hey, you can have them, your friend already paid for them." She extends her hand. "No hard feelings?"
[01:25] <illcushion_> The sandworm appears to be busy staying in her shell to come out of her shell and take the map or answer Vanilla.
[01:25] * MickySwain gives her a look that could freeze a star
[01:26] * MickySwain turns around and walks toward albin.
[01:26] <Erwin-> "Tanuki's are great! The next monster girl I meet is going to have to be really impressive to beat her."
[01:26] * vanilla__ goes up to the Tanuki "Hey, I've got a way to help that sand lass. Give her this map and say it's a present from me since she didn't get to husband me a'ight?"
[01:26] <vanilla__> "Tell her to go in the direction I pointed out and she should be able to get to the continent probably."
[01:28] <illcushion_> The tanuki grabs the map. "Hmmm... alright. When her contract's up, I'll tell her about it." She smiles. "Sorry about that, by the way!"
[01:28] <vanilla__> "Hey, no hard feelings we shoulda payed you know?"
[01:28] * vanilla__ totally doesn't mean that but smiles anyways
[01:28] <illcushion_> The tanuki nods. "I agree, it's not nice to steal."
[01:28] * Erwin- also nods. "True."
[01:29] <illcushion_> Erica flies next to Albin. "Well, big bro Albin... tell me, why are you so interested in those lewd books~?"
[01:29] * vanilla__ the hypocrisy of the Tanuki makes vanilla swear at the speed of light internally but he manages to seem sincere since he's elated he isn't mincemeat.
[01:30] <Albin> "I... well... they seem fun. I feel funny when i read them."
[01:30] * MickySwain alertness roll (+1)? fuck I dunno
[01:31] <Roy__> (+3 alert whatever)
[01:31] <Albin> "Besides, that's just one book. Oh, what?"(+2 Alertness)
[01:31] <illcushion_> Everyone manages to hear the tanuki saying it's not nice to steal.
[01:32] * MickySwain is now mad. mad as hell.
[01:32] * Albin clenches his fists and takes another calming breath.
[01:32] * vanilla__ walks up to Mack and whispers "We can deal with this on the boat, I'm as pissed as you are."
[01:32] * Roy__ just thinks of how sweet his candy will be later
[01:32] * MickySwain barely hears vanilla
[01:33] <Albin> "Well anyway, Erica. Why are YOU interested in me being interested in them?"
[01:33] * Erwin- gives tanuki another headpat. "I keep doing this and it's getting a little worrying." He says with a big smile.
[01:33] <illcushion_> "Oh, no reason!" The queen fairy starts whistling.
[01:34] * Albin has a smug smile on his face "You know, i've heard that bad liars whistle when they're nervous."
[01:34] * MickySwain shoves a stick of dynamite onto a crossbow bolt with deathly calm.
[01:35] * MickySwain loads the bolt into the crossbow and lights it
[01:35] <MickySwain> "HEY RACCOON! TRY THAT TRICK AGAIN!"
[01:35] * MickySwain fires the bolt at the store's display window (+5 archery, fated because I got mad)
[01:37] <MickySwain> (test)
[01:38] <illcushion_> The raccoon jumps into the air and grabs the bolt, then puts out the fuse, burning her fingers a little bit. (+8 Athletics, fated because MUH STORE)
[01:38] <Erwin-> "Wow."
[01:38] * MickySwain 's crossbow jammed firing the unusual bolt
[01:38] <Erwin-> "Do you offer training courses?"
[01:38] <Roy__> "Well shit"
[01:39] * MickySwain swears at his crossbow, swears at the tanuki, swears at Illias, and swears at erwin
[01:39] <illcushion_> "Ahh, that was nothing, really." The tanuki blushes and scratches the back of her head.
[01:39] <illcushion_> She then sucks on her index finger because ow burnt.
[01:40] <Erwin-> "It was actually really amazing! I've never seen anything like it."
[01:41] * MickySwain tromps towards the ship, trying to fix his crossbow
[01:42] * vanilla__ also goes to the ship
[01:42] <illcushion_> The sailors come out of captain's quarters. "Is... is the giant monster gone now?" says one of the girl sailors, her voice trembling.
[01:43] <MickySwain> "yeah, it's fucking gone."
[01:43] * MickySwain continues up the gangplank
[01:43] <vanilla__> "It almost ate me, by Illias."
[01:43] <Roy__> "Time to get the hell outta here" roy hustles to the ship himself
[01:44] * Erwin- senses a pretty girl being scared and heads to the ship. "Bye tanuki!" He steps onto the ship. "Hello! Ship people! The hero is back!" He pats the scared sailor girl on the head. +5 rapport.
[01:44] <illcushion_> The captain bursts out of the quarters, bursting with energy. "Ah! There we go! And you, boy, you're not dead! Either that or you're haunting me for not being able to get you here." The captain looks at Erwin. He appears to be WASTED ON RUM?.
[01:45] <Albin> "Yeah, i think it's time to return on the ship, isn't it, bad liar?"
[01:45] <illcushion_> The sailor swoons at Erwin. "Ah, hero, you're back from the dead too! Hooray!"
[01:45] <Erwin-> "Yep! I came just to cheer you up." Erwin beams.
[01:45] * vanilla__ elbows Mack and whispers "Next time Erwin just goes to fuck around somewhere we should just leave him."
[01:46] * MickySwain grumbles "that was the plan."
[01:46] <MickySwain> "Here, take your Illias damned books
[01:46] <MickySwain> "I don't want them."
[01:46] <illcushion_> Erica sits on Albin's cap. "I'm not a bad liar! I mean, I'm not a liar at all! You're a liar!" she then starts to whistle louder.
[01:46] * vanilla__ takes the books and goes to deposit them somewhere safe as as dry as possible
[01:46] * vanilla__ on the way up "Hey Albin, why's Erica yelling at you?"
[01:47] * MickySwain is sinking into a depression
[01:47] <Albin> "Hehehehe. Because she's bad at lying."
[01:47] <vanilla__> " 'Bout what?"
[01:48] * Albin starts to whistle the same melody as Erica, with a grin: "Aaah... nothing."
[01:49] <illcushion_> The captain gives the signal for the sailors to go, and then goes up to the ship's wheel. "Fine day for sailing..." he mutters. The ship departs from the shit gay island-wasteland not soon after.
[01:49] <vanilla__> "You're bad at lying too kiddo."
[01:50] * Erwin- waves to more ocean girls.
[01:51] * vanilla__ sighs and prays to Illias, thanking her for saving him from such a terrible fate.
[01:52] * Albin stops whistling: "I am, but it's good to have you back. I'm not lying this time."
[01:53] * Albin wanders off, still being a jerk towards Erica.
[01:53] ->> Connection closed from irc.x2x.cc
[01:58] ->> You joined channel #monmusuRPG
[01:58] ->> Topic is: sesh 5
[01:58] ->> Topic set by [email protected] on 08/12/2013 17:37:08
[01:58] ->> Channel Modes are: +ntz
[01:58] ->> Channel created on 21/11/2013 21:34:34
[02:03] * illcushion ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[02:04] * ChanServ sets mode +qo illcushion illcushion for #monmusuRPG
[02:05] * illcushion_ ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[02:11] <MickySwain> test
[02:11] <~illcushion> The boat manages to make it to Sourvale with no complications on the sea route. They arrive at the Sourvale docks at late-ish noon.
[02:12] <vanilla__> "Home, home! I'm also not dead!"
[02:12] <vanilla__> "phew =3"
[02:12] <Erwin-> "Woo! Guess it's time to wander around until things happen again."
[02:13] * MickySwain is still damn depressed
[02:13] * Albin Albin streches "Ugaaah! I should take afternoon naps more often."
[02:13] <vanilla__> "I'm going to go find the resident cleric of Illias and ask him if he can send these books back to San Ilia."
[02:14] <Albin> "The ones you took?
[02:14] <~illcushion> The cap'n waves the party off as they disembark. "Well then! If you need another trip, just ask, we'll take you back to Cattan anytime!"
[02:14] <vanilla__> "We paid for them at the end."
[02:14] <Erwin-> "Oh there's a church? I was curious about something actually." Erwin heads to that thing.
[02:14] <vanilla__> "Just follow me Erwin, I know the way."
[02:14] * vanilla__ goes along the merry path to the church
[02:14] * Erwin- does that thing.
[02:14] <~illcushion> And so they arrive at CHURCH.
[02:15] <~illcushion> Inside is a priest who is praying or napping, one of the two.
[02:15] <Albin> "And so they left. Any plans, Mack, Erica?"
[02:15] * MickySwain sighs
[02:15] <vanilla__> "Mornin' sunshine. It's me Vanilla."
[02:15] * vanilla__ waves his hand in front of his face
[02:15] * Erwin- heads to a spot that looks good for praying. Probably a statue of huge bitch Ilias or something.
[02:15] <~illcushion> Erica flies out of Albin's hat. "Yeah, I'm gonna go see if anything cool is happening! Bye~!" She then flies off into the distance.
[02:16] <Albin> "Bye!"
[02:16] * Albin turns to Mack: "Come on, what's with the long face?"
[02:16] <MickySwain> "Nothin I did back there made a difference, all my attacks were useless."
[02:17] * MickySwain mumbles something about the succubus school and paces near the exit
[02:17] <~illcushion> The priest turns his head up to look at Vanilla. "Oh, Vanilla! Nice to see you again, boy!"
[02:17] <Erwin-> "Well she's cute I'll give her that..." Erwin says while eyeing the statue that is clearly a thing. "If she's actually real that is."
[02:17] <Albin> "Oh come on! Don't run away!"
[02:18] <vanilla__> "It's a pleasure as always. I've got some items from San Ilia itself that I picked up from a merchant that stole them, believe it or not."
[02:18] * vanilla__ unpacks the books and lays them out for the priest.
[02:18] <vanilla__> "I was thinking you could get them returned to the grand library of Illias for us?"
[02:19] * MickySwain slowly plods towards the tavern
[02:19] <Albin> "Hey! I'm talking to you!"
[02:19] <~illcushion> "Huh... that's a lot of books, son." The priest scratches his chin. "Where did you find all these?"
[02:19] * Erwin- clears his throat and then just talks loudly at the statue. "Heeeey heeey heeeey! Ilias! Are you real? I'm just a confused hero wondering what all the fuss is about! If you're actually real send an angel down or something! It would be nice to talk to a god too I guess!"
[02:19] <vanilla__> "Some raccoon merchant monster lass had stolen them. Out on the island of Cattan."
[02:20] * MackDaddy ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[02:20] <vanilla__> "In any case I know there's usually a ship from your homeland every 6 months or so."
[02:21] * MackDaddy arrives at the tavern
[02:22] * Albin stays outside: "There's no talking to him, is there."
[02:23] * MickySwain ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[02:23] * Albin pouts and goes for a stroll, looking for something to do.
[02:24] <~illcushion> As Erwin speaks into the statue, literally nothing happens. He hears Sylph snickering though, that's someting.
[02:24] * Mack_Swain ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[02:25] <Erwin-> "Well I guess she's not real after all! What a shame."
[02:25] <vanilla__> "Maybe she doesn't think you're hero enough Erwin."
[02:25] <Erwin-> "Psssssssh."
[02:25] * MackSwain_ ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[02:25] <Erwin-> "Not even an angel? There must be plenty to spare up there."
[02:26] <Erwin-> "Or do I have to do some sort of magic spooky cult ritual to communicate with heaven? I dont understand any of this church stuff."
[02:26] <vanilla__> "Illiasism is from far away lands, it'd probably be tiring to descend this far out."
[02:26] <~illcushion> Sylph's snicker turns into a full blown laugh as winds run through the chapel.
[02:26] <~illcushion> The priest covers his face saying "WHAT IS THIS SORCERY".
[02:26] * Mack_Swain__ ([email protected]) has joined #monmusuRPG
[02:26] <vanilla__> "In any case, whether your prayers are answered ain't the point, it's the values in the good book."
[02:26] <vanilla__> "Stories of heros too."
[02:27] * Mack_Swain__ sits down at a tavern and asks for a drink
[02:27] * vanilla__ points out a particular section in the Book of Illias. "Like this one, it's about being the best man you can."
[02:27] <Erwin-> "Was it really that funny?" Erwin scratches his head. "It's really just dissapointing."
[02:27] * MackDaddy ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[02:28] <~illcushion> The old bartender gives Mack a glass of BEER, giving him a single nod. "Eh, not feeling talkative today? Salamanders'll do that to ya."
[02:28] <vanilla__> "Aboriginal gods wouldn't understand Illias, they don't even know about the world across the sea."
[02:28] * Mack_Swain ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[02:29] * Mack_Swain__ ignores the fuck out of the bartender and downs his beer in one go
[02:29] <Erwin-> "Well there must be a hell! That's where succubi are from right?"
[02:29] <Erwin-> "Maybe I should try to talk to whoever runs that place! Where's the church for that?"
[02:29] * MackSwain_ ([email protected]) Quit ( Ping timeout: 240 seconds )
[02:30] <vanilla__> "I don't think hell is ran by Illias. That's monster folk's domain, dark energy like that. 'Cept I don't think there's a dark god or nothing."
[02:30] <vanilla__> "So I've go no idea basically Erwin."
[02:31] * Mack_Swain__ I'd like another, please.
[02:31] <Erwin-> "Yeeesh! It would be nice having a big important figure to fight for you know? A good source of quests and stuff for a hero like me!"
[02:31] * Albin walks by a display window. Painting and sculptures inside catch his attention.
[02:31] <~illcushion> The bartender eyes the empty glass warily. "Oh, drowning your sorrows then. Here." He then refreshes the glass with more BEER.
[02:31] <vanilla__> "Try reading some of the hero stories in the good book. Just skip genesis. The hero ones are all about justice and doing what's right."
[02:32] * Erwin- pokes the statue. "But all I found here was a dissapointing stone."
[02:32] <Albin> "Huh, looks nice."
[02:32] * Albin walks into the store.
[02:32] <vanilla__> "The point of Illiasism in my opinion is find motivation like that in yourself."
[02:32] * Mack_Swain__ just stares at the glass
[02:32] <vanilla__> "Illias just wants man to prosper."
[02:32] <~illcushion> The priest is too busy cowering to pay attention to someone mocking his religion.
[02:32] <Erwin-> "I bet if she was real Ilias would be my friend! Ehehehehe." Erwin grins. "Maybe I would ask her on a date? But Sylph might get jealous..."
[02:33] <vanilla__> "Maybe if you take a boat to San Ilia and pray at the biggest Illiasian cathedral she'll descend for you."
[02:33] <vanilla__> "Too bad it's several months since any of those are due."
[02:33] <~illcushion> Albin notices the store is run by a small fairy. "Oh, a customer! Heehee, welcome to my store!" she says.
[02:34] <vanilla__> "In any case, you can pray to spirits, but you have to go to them to talk to them yes?"
[02:34] <vanilla__> "Same thing with Illias."
[02:34] <Albin> "Good afternoon, miss! I'm amazed by your wares."
[02:34] <Erwin-> "What kind of god cant take the time to speak with all the heroes and subjects eh? Seems a little rude."
[02:35] <vanilla__> "She's busy because over in the next continent she has millions of followers. Also she listens, just can't reply."
[02:35] <~illcushion> "Why thank you! We import art from everywhere in the continent, and some from the land across the sea!" She sits on the desk. "So, anything in particular catching your eye, mister..."
[02:36] <vanilla__> "Are you even a hero if you require Illias for all direction? The point is to express heroism through the teachings of justice in the good book."
[02:36] * Mack_Swain__ 's eyes suddenly light up while he stares at the beer
[02:36] <Albin> "Albin. And skip the mister, i'm just 13, Hehe. Anyway, i really think these statuettes are amazing."
[02:36] <Mack_Swain__> "Bartender, where can I find lead? and a blacksmith?"
[02:36] * Erwin- shrugs. "I justed wanted to at least see SOME proof of her being real! I guess Sylph really is the only real god around here."
[02:37] <Erwin-> "More of a cute mini-god I guess. Heh."
[02:37] <vanilla__> "Sylph is an elemental lass. She's just worshiped by aboriginals."
[02:38] <~illcushion> The bartender shrugs at Mack. "Blacksmith was murdered yesterday, mate. Found 'em with numbers across his chest, I think it was 13113 or some such..." He ponders. "Lead, you could try the general store."
[02:38] <Mack_Swain__> "Oh right."
[02:38] <Mack_Swain__> "Well, who is running his shop? Can I still use it?"
[02:39] <~illcushion> "Fear not, guy was a freaking hermit, Ilias rest his soul."
[02:39] <Erwin-> "Well this was a waste of time! You're not as good as they eh Ilias?" Erwin throws smug as fug finger gun at the statue of Ilias as he walks away to go wander into trouble.
[02:40] <vanilla__> "You just can't appreciate it since you're a fake hero kiddo!"
[02:40] <~illcushion> Erwin is struck by divine lightning as soon as he steps out of the church.
[02:40] <~illcushion> He fails to die.
[02:41] <Erwin-> "Huh...that was weird."
[02:41] <~illcushion> Somewhere, a Goddess is cursing.
[02:41] * vanilla__ rushes out when he sees the divine light "Hah, see kid it's proof!"
[02:41] <Erwin-> "Bad weather I guess!"
[02:41] <Mack_Swain__> "What the hell was that noise?"
[02:41] <Mack_Swain__> "Was that lightning?"
[02:41] <vanilla__> "No, you got smited by Illias herself."
[02:42] <~illcushion> "Sounded like smittance, mate." He shakes his head while grinning. "Good, respectable smittance."
[02:42] <Erwin-> "I don't feel any different."
[02:42] <vanilla__> "She wouldn't kill you or anything."
[02:42] <vanilla__> "She just thought you were being a dick."
[02:42] <Mack_Swain__> "Please Illias, I know I'm not religious
[02:42] <vanilla__> "I thought you were nice to all cute girls?"
[02:42] <Mack_Swain__> "But please tell me that hit who I hope it hit"
[02:42] <Erwin-> "Psssh! The only proof I'll accept is angels or a visit! Or just a chat in my brain I guess."
[02:42] <Erwin-> "How can I be nice to a girl I've never seen or talked with?"
[02:43] <vanilla__> "Because you're plain daft is why Erwin."
[02:43] <~illcushion> Erwin's mind is assailed by a divine middle finger.
[02:43] <vanilla__> "By not saying she ain't real for starters."
[02:43] <~illcushion> He still fails to die.
[02:43] <Erwin-> "If she was real I would do any task for her! Heh! I would even murder Mack if she asked." Erwin just gives a friendly smile to any passers by.
[02:44] <vanilla__> "I've got a feeling Mack is out to murder you right now Erwin."
[02:45] * Mack_Swain__ pays the partender and jogs towards the sound of the lightning
[02:45] <Erwin-> "It's my vow as a hero to do anything for a pretty girl! They just have to prove that they're real."
[02:45] <~illcushion> Mack meets up with Erwin and Vanilla.
[02:45] <vanilla__> "Didn't she just smite you twice?"
[02:45] <Mack_Swain__> "Wait, the lightning hit erwin?"
[02:46] <vanilla__> "All Illias wants is that you be just anyway."
[02:46] <Erwin-> "Eh? She did? I dont feel anything."
[02:46] <vanilla__> "Yup, little brat got smited twice by Illias."
[02:46] * Mack_Swain__ giggles like a schoolgirl
[02:46] <Mack_Swain__> "Hey wait, why aren't you dead?"
[02:46] <Erwin-> "Helloooo? It was just freakish weather."
[02:46] <Mack_Swain__> "Isn't that what smiting means?"
[02:46] <vanilla__> "Illias isn't violent."
[02:46] <Erwin-> "How can something that's not real hurt me?"
[02:47] <vanilla__> "Nevermind, you'll never get it through your thick skull."
[02:47] <Mack_Swain__> "It warms my heart to know that a god hates you too"
[02:47] <Mack_Swain__> "Anyways, I don't have time for your shit erwin, I need to find some lead"
[02:47] * Mack_Swain__ jogs towards the general store
[02:47] <vanilla__> "I'ma go take a scenic walk around my hometown."
[02:47] <~illcushion> The fairy shopkeeper beams at Albin. "Heehee, alright Albin! You can have any statuette you like for free, alright? Just because I like you~!"
[02:48] * vanilla__ prays at the church real quick and goes to look around
[02:48] <Erwin-> "Until I see an Angel I'm not believing anything! Succubi are the angels of hell so I believe in whoever runs that place more." Erwin gives the ground a friendly wink because hell is clearly in a downwards direction.
[02:49] <Albin> "Well... that's very nice of you! I think this one is the best."
[02:49] * vanilla__ definitely included a bit about Erwin getting smited more often in his prayers.
[02:49] * Mack_Swain__ enters a general store
[02:49] * Albin points to a stone statue of a fox with multiple tails.
[02:50] * vanilla__ checks out all the shops and whatever and shit
[02:51] * Erwin- just wanders until he finds a cool building or a neat event.
[02:51] <~illcushion> Mack notices the general store has no clerk. That's odd.
[02:52] * Mack_Swain__ looks around for any form of lead in the general store
[02:52] <Mack_Swain__> "Helloo?"
[02:53] <~illcushion> The fairy nods to Albin. "Sure, you can have it! It's a very unique statue of a powerful monster from across the continent, her name is... Tomamo, or some such!"
[02:53] <Albin> "I've never heard about that monster. Well, if she really has...one...two...nine? Nine tails!"
[02:54] <Albin> "She must be powerful."
[02:54] <Albin> "Um... do you mind taking a look at this, as an art specialist? I didn't show it to anyone yet."
[02:54] * Mack_Swain__ looks around for the storekeeper
[02:55] * Albin pulls out his +6 statuette from sesh 3.
[02:55] <~illcushion> "Ooh, that's really well made! Where'd you get this~?" says the fairy, examining every inch of the carved statuette.
[02:55] <~illcushion> Mack finds Literally No Shopkeeper in the shop. The door was open though so what the fuck.
[02:56] * vanilla__ goes to pick up provisions at the general store
[02:56] <Albin> "It's my own creation. You see, my and my friends were at a big tree that was a Harpy village."
[02:56] * Mack_Swain__ finds a number of lead ingots, puts the appropriate coin on the desk, and walks out
[02:56] <Albin> "It's exactly this tree. I even tried to put little harpies on it, like this one here."
[02:57] <~illcushion> "Amazing! This is expert craftsmanship... do you think I can have it~?" says the fairy, still looking at the statuette.
[02:58] * vanilla__ enters the general store he usually purchased stuff from in the past.
[02:58] * Albin spaghettis a bit: "Oh, yeah, of course! A statuette for statuette, i guees."
[02:59] <Mack_Swain__> "Hey vanilla, I don't know where the shopkeeper is
[02:59] <Mack_Swain__> "He wasnt at the desk and he didn't respond"
[02:59] <~illcushion> "Yay! Thank you, Albin!" The fairy flies up to his face and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
[02:59] <vanilla__> "The heck? Josef isn't a frivolous kinda guy who would abandon his post."
[02:59] * vanilla__ yells out "Hey, Josef, you around?"
[03:00] <~illcushion> Stalin does not respond.
[03:00] <Albin> "Awawa.... Don't mention it."
[03:00] * vanilla__ goes to look in the back for him
[03:01] <~illcushion> Vanilla finds nothing in the back except for... well, storage, and things that go in storage, such as boxes.
[03:02] * Albin packs statuette of the powerful Kitsune up with trembling hands.
[03:02] <vanilla__> "The heck? You get hitched and run off or something?" Vanilla yells out
[03:02] * Mack_Swain__ wonders off towards the where he thinks the blacksmith's workshop is
[03:02] <vanilla__> "Guess so."
[03:04] <~illcushion> Mack finds a house with a sign outside saying SMITHY'S. The second word is blurred out and can't be made out.
[03:04] <Mack_Swain__> "Guess this is the place."
[03:04] * Mack_Swain__ walks in
[03:04] * vanilla__ vacates the general store, grabbing food and leaving some coins and a note
[03:04] <~illcushion> Mack walks in...to the door, and is stopped by the material known as "wood".
[03:05] * Mack_Swain__ attempts to open the door fuck you gm
[03:05] <~illcushion> The door is Lockered?.
[03:06] <Erwin-> +3 alertness to spot something neat and interesting. "I guess girls wont ambush me when I'm in town! What a shame!"
[03:06] * Mack_Swain__ sighs
[03:06] * Mack_Swain__ wanders back towards vanilla
[03:06] <~illcushion> Erwin spots a BIRD. Wow. So neat and interesting. He also notices the lizard girls from the other day at the inn, standing in front of a jailhouse or some such place.
[03:07] * Albin says goodbye to the Fairy shopkeeper and leaves the store, rubbing his cheek. As he walks down the street, he notices Mack entering some building.
[03:07] <Albin> "Oh, Hey!"
[03:07] * Albin walks into the building.
[03:07] * vanilla__ conveniently happens to walk in the direction of Mack and now Albin.
[03:08] <~illcushion> Albin walks into the door too, as if magnetified by its presence. He bumps his nose into it when simply ethereally going through the door fails.
[03:08] * Erwin- approaches. "Hey lizard girls! How is it going with that succubus criminal? Sylph did say she could sense lots of dark energy!" Erwin hands out some headpats. "You can still sense it right Sylph?"
[03:08] <Albin> "Ow. I should snap out of it."
[03:09] * Albin gives his cheek last rub and turns to the group: "Hey, what are you doing here?"
[03:09] * Mack_Swain__ walks over to the ther est of the gang
[03:09] <~illcushion> The lizard girls raise their eyebrows at Erwin's headpats. "No, and there was another victim; the blacksmith. Poor fellow..." says one of them. The other one pouts. "You could've stopped this. Why didn't you listen? It's too late."
[03:09] <vanilla__> "I've got no direction. I still have that demon business to deal with but since there isn't actually two of them in my head it's alright."
[03:09] <vanilla__> "Also no leads."
[03:10] <Albin> "So we're back at the Demon thingy. Huh. I'd ask Great Gnome to help, but i don't think Earth is great at sensing stuff."
[03:11] <Erwin-> "Well there's not really any leads...unless I could act as bait for you in some way? I'm honestly fresh out of plans!" Erwin sighs. "Crime scenes are not really my area of operation."
[03:11] <vanilla__> "I mean, I want to deal with it. First of all because my old friends keep on gettin' murdered, and second of all because I don
[03:11] <vanilla__> 't want another demon trying to kill me."
[03:11] <vanilla__> "Might as well deal with them now."
[03:12] <Mack_Swain__> "I heard the bartender say the blacksmith was murdered
[03:12] <~illcushion> One of the lizard girls sighs. "Well, we had our criminologist analyze the carvings, and they deduced that the 1s in the middle were actually slashes, so it was twelve out of thirteen, as opposed to twelve-one-thirteen... no idea what THAT means, though."
[03:12] <vanilla__> "You kidding me?"
[03:12] <Mack_Swain__> "nah
[03:12] * vanilla__ swears and snaps his fingers
[03:12] <Mack_Swain__> "He had 13 1 13 carved into him"
[03:12] <~illcushion> The other lizard girl pipes in. "The blacksmith had thirteen-one-thirteen, or thirteen out of thirteen. The inn person was twelve, going with this logic..."
[03:13] <vanilla__> "Maybe it's a date? Wait no there's only 12 months."
[03:13] <vanilla__> "Either way, if robert's dead I'm stopping this for sure."
[03:13] <Erwin-> "She killed 13 out of 13 people and is done? So it solved itself?"
[03:13] <Mack_Swain__> "I'm a litlte confused."
[03:14] <vanilla__> "Well me too, but you know, how would you feel if all your friends back in your home city started getting murdered?"
[03:14] <~illcushion> The lizard girl puts her hand to the back of her neck. "Well, we always thought the killings were really random and unpredictable, and with this, we assumed something bad would happen! Like a ritual that needed 13 victims? But nothing happened!"
[03:14] <Mack_Swain__> "Didn't have many friends in my home city"
[03:14] <vanilla__> "I won't make any rude comments this time since you had my back with that sand worm business."
[03:15] <~illcushion> Erica flies at lightning speed and lands squarely on Mack's head. "WHEEEE That's a shock, big bro Mack! Heehee!"
[03:15] <vanilla__> "What's a shock now?"
[03:15] <~illcushion> "Nothin'!" says the fairy, giggling.
[03:15] <Erwin-> "Huh...I guess it all worked out then! Unless there's some shady building or something you missed? Like a SECRET ritual that takes a little time after it's complete."
[03:15] * Mack_Swain__ ignores the FUCK out of the tiny mosquito buzzing around his head
[03:15] <Albin> "I kind of feel like you're actually not flying away but spying on us, are you?"
[03:15] <vanilla__> "No wait, tell big bro Vanilla, I'm good with secrets."
[03:16] <vanilla__> "Oh wait I think I figured it out."
[03:16] <vanilla__> "I almost said the same thing."
[03:16] <~illcushion> "Maybe!" says Erica, giggling at Albin. "By the way, big bro Albin... why does your cheek smell of... flowers?"
[03:17] <Mack_Swain__> Anyways, I think the blacksmith's shop might have clues
[03:17] <vanilla__> "Let's get in there then."
[03:18] <~illcushion> One of the lizard girls brings out a big keyring and pulls out a key. "Here, it's the blacksmith's house. We checked, but perhaps you can find something in there that we missed."
[03:18] <Mack_Swain__> "Thank you
[03:18] <Albin> "So you're not such a good spy after all, huh."
[03:18] * Erwin- takes the key. "Thanks! I'll do my best." Erwin heads 2 da house.
[03:18] * Albin despite his smug comment, he blushes a bit.
[03:19] <~illcushion> Erwin arrives at the house and feels the need. The need for speed. And to bump into the door, like everyone else does.
[03:20] * Mack_Swain__ heads towards the house
[03:20] * Erwin- unlocks the door and heads in.
[03:20] * vanilla__ follows since he doesn't even know it's locked
[03:20] * vanilla__ stills bumps into the door somehow
[03:20] <~illcushion> Erica flies around Albin for a while, inspecting his cheek for clues as to the mystery of the flowery fragrance.
[03:21] * Mack_Swain__ assumes erwin opened the door and enters
[03:21] <Albin> "Aw... Come on."
[03:22] <vanilla__> "What're you molesting Albin's cheek for Erica?"
[03:22] <~illcushion> The group notice nothing out of the usual, except for the dim lightning. And the smell of sex.
[03:23] * Erwin- gets to searching. +3 investigation +windhelpmeplease.
[03:24] * vanilla__ gets to searching, pissed off that it had to happen to a childhood friend of his (+5)
[03:24] <Albin> "Uh... it's stuffy in here. Smells like... sweat? But different."
[03:24] * Mack_Swain__ attempts to find ball bearing smelting tools (+4 investigation)
[03:24] <~illcushion> Erwin finds a trail of SEX MAGIC that leads from the kitchen, through the bedroom then out a window. Vanilla notices a sweet-smelling note on the floor. It smells... intoxicating.
[03:25] <~illcushion> Mack succeeds in finding that thing yes.
[03:25] * vanilla__ picks up the note and reads
[03:25] <Erwin-> "Ooooh~! Can you pinpoint that for me Sylph? I wanna see how long that trail goes on for."
[03:26] * Mack_Swain__ , oblivious to the rest of the group, fires up the furnace and starts heating the lead
[03:26] <~illcushion> "Sure thing, Erwin!" says Sylph inside his head. "Wait... no, hold on, this isn't right, it's... everywhere?"
[03:27] <Erwin-> "What...? Like it's still in the house?"
[03:28] <~illcushion> Vanilla's head starts to hurt a little bit from the smell of the note. It says "Waiting for you at the peaks of madness. Signed, (a heart)".
[03:28] <Albin> "Erica. Please let go of my face?"
[03:28] <~illcushion> Sylph stutters a bit. "No, no, it's... everywhere in the town. This is weird, Erwin!"
[03:28] * vanilla__ attempts to collect his thoughts and thinks "God damn it, I've got to harden my will. I won't let myself be beaten that way."
[03:29] * Mack_Swain__ starts pouring the lead into the ball bearing cast, not even giving a shit
[03:29] * vanilla__ starts thinking out loud "Wait, this pain feels familiar..."
[03:29] <~illcushion> Erica still clings to Albin's face because fuck you what is this strange sorcery.
[03:29] <Erwin-> "It is weird! But it's giving me a familiar feeling...remember that girl that jumped into Vanilla's brain? What if all the girls in this town are like her!"
[03:30] <~illcushion> Sylph facepalms into Erwin's brain.
[03:30] <Erwin-> "What? It could totally be true!"
[03:30] <vanilla__> "This isn't directed at me is? If somebody killed my childhood friend just 'ta..."
[03:30] <Albin> "I'm really getting tired of this, you know. I can't help them with you on my face."
[03:30] * vanilla__ does his usual curse and finger snap
[03:31] * Albin licks her small arm with tip of his tongue.
[03:31] <Albin> "Let go."
[03:32] <~illcushion> The fairy sticking to Albin's face moans a bit. She does not let go though so fuck you.
[03:32] <Albin> "Wait, what?"
[03:32] <vanilla__> "Peak of madness, the heck is that?"
[03:32] * vanilla__ yells out "Hey everybody, I found a note."
[03:33] * Erwin- wanders back in to the others. "Hrmm? I found out something scary."
[03:33] <Mack_Swain__> "How did you find a note if the lizards missed it?"
[03:33] * Mack_Swain__ continues making lead ball bearings
[03:33] <vanilla__> "Because I'm an ace detective and also, I feel like it was, shit, I can't explain it, but like calling to me."
[03:34] <Mack_Swain__> "Like how I felt after the school?"
[03:34] <Erwin-> "Well it turns out the entire town is covered in uh...sex magic? And I mean the ENTIRE TOWN."
[03:34] * Albin wiggles his tounge's tip up and down her tiny palm. "Come on, I'm not going to stop until you let go."
[03:34] <vanilla__> "Erwin, take a look at this note"
[03:35] * vanilla__ shows note to the others
[03:35] <~illcushion> "Nnnn! D-don't do that, bro Albin!" says Erica. "Not in front of everyone..." She then lets go of his face.
[03:35] <Erwin-> "Peak of madness? Clearly we just go up the closest mountain! Unless Sylph has an idea."
[03:36] <vanilla__> "Why not ask gnomey? She seemed pretty knowledgeable 'bout that sorta thing."
[03:36] <Albin> "Waaaaait. Did you you really feel... from this?! Wow."
[03:36] <vanilla__> "Hey Albin, bring gnomey over here!"
[03:36] * Albin spaghettis.
[03:36] <Albin> "Oh, yeah, right."
[03:36] <vanilla__> "Uh, Albin, the heck have you been doing with Erica?"
[03:37] * vanilla__ gives Albin a very concerned look.
[03:37] * Albin is already busy with a summoning prayer.
[03:37] * Mack_Swain__ unconcernidly files down the now cool lead balls to make them smooth
[03:37] <Erwin-> "What are you doing? Gnome just come out and help us please! You know about mountains and stuff right?"
[03:38] * Albin closes his eyes and mutters: "Great Gnome, i direct my plead towards you in the time of need!"
[03:39] * Erwin- frowns. "I'm glad I dont have to do this to get Sylph to speak..."
[03:39] <Albin> "Please take your visible form and aid your host!"
[03:40] <~illcushion> Gnome opens the door and walks through. "Hello, dear."
[03:40] <Mack_Swain__> "What the hell?"
[03:40] <vanilla__> "Afternoon, Gnomey."
[03:40] <Mack_Swain__> "Oh, it's gnome."
[03:41] * Albin bows: "Thank you for anwsering my prayer, Great Gnome. My friends have questions, if you feel like helping them."
[03:41] * vanilla__ bends down to her height and says "We need help interpreting this here note."
[03:42] <~illcushion> Gnome slumps her shoulder. "Sorry, I can't make grander entrances while you are indoors." She then lifts her gaze. "What note?"
[03:42] * vanilla__ holds it out for Gnome
[03:42] <vanilla__> "There's this weird air about it. I've got just no idea."
[03:42] <vanilla__> "In this house, one of my old friends got murdered, I've got to deal with this for sure."
[03:43] <~illcushion> Gnome grabs the note and smells it. "Mm, smells like dark energy." She then unfolds it and reads it. "Peaks of madness... that's pretty far away."
[03:44] <vanilla__> "You mind filling me in on what those are from the start?"
[03:44] <vanilla__> "Sorry, but I'm fairly ignorant 'bout this sorta business for somebody with a shoggoth livin' inside him."
[03:45] <~illcushion> Gnome lifts an eyebrow. "It's a plateau now, and less of a peak. Used to be a mountain range that spanned miles, though it hasn't been that way for at least one thousand years."
[03:46] <~illcushion> She bites her lip. "Wonder who would still refer to them as the peaks of madness in this age. I believe it's now the Grand Plateau or some such."
[03:46] <vanilla__> "How far away is it? I'd show you my map but I gave my map to a sandworm lass."
[03:46] * vanilla__ addresses the group "Any of you got a map of the continent?"
[03:47] <~illcushion> "Yes, I saw that. Very... interesting tactics during that engagement." Gnome chuckles to herself.
[03:47] <Mack_Swain__> "I do, in my pouch"
[03:47] * Mack_Swain__ continues sanding the ball bearings
[03:47] <vanilla__> "Well figure I might as well as stall her once I was being eaten. Besides that, if I was actually mincemeat I'd like to be on friendly terms with her."
[03:47] <vanilla__> "My hope is she gets here and can become a kind sand worm."
[03:48] <Erwin-> "Sounds neat! Maybe one day we'll go somewhere that passes through my village." Erwin chuckles. "You probably wont want to leave if you ever went there though! Heh."
[03:48] <vanilla__> "Why'd you leave then?"
[03:48] <Erwin-> "Hero stuff."
[03:48] * vanilla__ just grabs the map out of Mack's patch and hands it to Gnome
[03:50] <~illcushion> "Ah... here." Gnome runs her finger and circles a large stretch of land. "This is the Grand Plateau." She then licks her fingertip and encircles a specific area in the plateau. "And this is the original peak of madness."
[03:51] <vanilla__> "Well, we're going, no matter what any of you say I'll avenge Robert."
[03:51] <vanilla__> "We can just take our time getting there since it's so far."
[03:51] <Albin> "I think that's all they wanted, Great Gnome. Thank you very much."
[03:51] <vanilla__> "Yup, thanks much Gnomey."
[03:52] <vanilla__> "Take care, hope Albin's head is comfortable."
[03:52] <Erwin-> "Well then! Guess it's time for adventure! Lets go gang."
[03:52] <~illcushion> The gnome turns away from Vanilla and looks at Albin. "Why, it's no problem, my dear." She then caresses his cheek. "Whenever you want to summon me, I'll always be there."
[03:53] * vanilla__ thinks "She may be an aboriginal god, but shotacons will always creep me out."
[03:53] * Erwin- pouts. "She's nice..."
[03:53] <~illcushion> Sylph facepalms into Erwin's brain again.
[03:53] * Albin looks down with S-shaped mouth."I'm grateful for that."
[03:53] <vanilla__> "Well, let's get going and get distracted plenty along the way then."
[03:53] * vanilla__ asks everybody "Any of your home territory on the path?"
[03:53] <Mack_Swain__> My home city is just half a days walk off the path
[03:54] * Erwin- shrugs. "I forget!"
[03:54] <Mack_Swain__> "I don't have a real desire to go back though."
[03:54] <Albin> "I think that the plateu is part of the Great Forest, but we called it differently."
[03:55] <vanilla__> "Whatdya call it then?"
[03:55] <Albin> "The Arena."
[03:55] <vanilla__> "What kinda name is that?"
[03:56] <vanilla__> "You aboriginals have got a weird naming sense."
[03:56] <Albin> "But that name comes from the times when it was still more of a mountain."
[03:56] <Erwin-> "Alright guys! Same plan as always." Erwin beams. "We just keep walking until things happen and deal with them unprepared!"
[03:56] <vanilla__> "Exactly, that's adventure!"
[03:56] <Albin> "That's where first of the rangers killed a dragon." "Yeah, let's go!"
[03:57] <Erwin-> "A dragon or a dragon girl?" Erwin starts to walk.
[03:57] <vanilla__> "A dragon? Far as I know only dragon lasses still breath these days."
[03:57] <vanilla__> "Dragons are the stuff of legends."
[03:57] * Mack_Swain__ collects his ball bearings, and "borrows" some other misc. tools from the now-deceased blacksmith
[03:58] <Albin> "I don't know. She was sentient and she told him to seal her instead of killing her. It was... 20-something generations ago. I think."
[03:58] * vanilla__ gives Mack a dirty look for looting his dead childhood friend.
[03:58] <vanilla__> "Well, maybe we can find out there or something."
[03:59] <Erwin-> "Hrmm..." Erwin walks a little faster. "Maybe there's dragon girls there? That would be a really impressive friend."
[03:59] <Mack_Swain__> didnt we see dragons in naomi
[03:59] <Albin> "I'm going to dissapoint you, they're gone."
[04:00] <vanilla__> "Mack, I mean actual dragons. Big spooky, strong."
[04:01] <Mack_Swain__> "I doubt anything could top the sandworm that ate you"
[04:01] <vanilla__> "She was just lonely, that's why I gave her those directions. I'm sure she'll find a nice guy and some monster lass friends at naomi."
[04:03] * vanilla__ blazes it hard
[04:03] * Erwin- 420 smoke sylph
[04:03] * Mack_Swain__ goes and shit
[04:04] * Albin smokk trail rrdai.
[04:08] <~illcushion> The group all collapse from exhaustion before any trail-blazing can be done. Erica hauls everyone into a bed in the inn after putting it on Albin's tab. End of session.
[04:08] * Mack_Swain__ ([email protected]) Quit ( Quit: Rizon webchat: http://qchat.rizon.net/ )
[04:09] * Albin makes fun of her and licks her palm. Again. Because fuck you.