PulseEffects

My Year of 2019

Jan 2nd, 2020
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  1. -2019 LIFE-
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  3. 2019 was quite the year of personal growth for me. The beginning started off with me learning how to live with someone I was in love with while balancing content creation. Looking back I don't think this was something I was 100% ready for. Before meeting my significant other at the time, I had spent most of my life very carefree just worrying about numbers on Twitch and how I could improve my skill as a Pokemon Speedrunner and Broadcaster. Between me having a hard time learning to balance a relationship with full time streaming as well as our families being unaccepting of the relationship, things took a turn for the worst. I definitely feel I could have done more in some ways but I truly feel I gave it my all in the ways that I could. I'm happy I could say we at least left things on pretty good terms.
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  5. After the big breakup happened I went through therapy for the first time to try and pick up as many pieces of myself as I could, and I'm REALLY glad I did. Professional help and some of the best friends I could ask me got me through some of these hard times in life where I felt so alone. I've never cried so much in my life but thanks to all that I can say I'm finally in a good place and I'm proud I made it through!
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  7. Finally I feel like it says a lot when I felt like I wasn't at home in my own house when I came back from Pokethon. I've had some bad realizations with the household I'm in that I'm kind of sad to admit. Unfortunately a lot of my freedom is sacrificed in the household I live in for the sake of other people in my family and I don't really appreciate being throw under the rug like that. I can easily make sacrifices when need be but it's to the point where it's nearly everything. It was extremely toxic to my relationship at the time as well and I never truly realized how much I pushed it aside until it affected the person I once loved. Some people say I should be happy that I get to live in a place where I don't have to set aside too much for bills, but that's not enough for me anymore. I want to get out more and live a life outside of my room. Unfortunately I have no immediate way of solving this problem until I pay off my debt and can get enough funds to move out.
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  10. -2019 CONTENT CREATION-
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  12. I was in such a weird spot at the beginning of 2019 stream wise. I couldn't balance time very well like I said before and it really made my numbers and mentality decline pretty badly. Luckily this didn't last long after I got the opportunity to be on Cutthroat Pokemon Season 3 as well as participate in my first ever run for Games Done Quick. This really pulled me out of a bad spot in ways you couldn't imagine and I can't thank people enough for sticking through any unpassionate streaming phases I had throughout 2019.
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  14. One thing I did find passion in though and really started to grow from is YouTube. Cutthroat Pokemon Season 3 seriously got me off the ground. Even if he doesn't include in the next one, and I can't thank Josh enough for including me in at least 2 Seasons of one of the best Pokemon series on YouTube. The crowd I've found through it has been extremely nice and passionate about what I'm able to produce and it's really let me explore a different side of Pokemon besides speedrunning.
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  16. Finally with the release of Pokemon Sword and Shield my speedrun only content creation bubble no longer exist. Much like a glitch, I went out of bounds and found something special on the other side. I will say speedrunning will always be what I come to time and again, but WOW is it nice to have everyone say they really enjoyed something I did on Twitch that wasn't just speedrunning. I have my viewers, encouragement from friends, and the beautiful content of Pokemon Sword and Shield to really thank for that one. It's been a nice change of pace and I'm looking forward to where this stuff can take me.
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  19. -2020 GOALS AND AMBITIONS-
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  21. (STREAMING) I'd like to see where I can fit non speedrunning content into my streams while pushing for things like World Records. This is something I had hard time doing in 2019 because I was super stubborn and would tunnel vision these goals like crazy. My plan is to stop that and have my number one goal be my own personal enjoyment. It's time to have fun again and enjoy what I'm doing all hours of the day!
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  23. (LOSING WEIGHT) I regained a ton of the weight I lost back in 2017 throughout 2019. I kinda just turned off the "care about yourself" switch in my brain during the time of the breakup and let myself just munch on anything and everything and now I'm paying the price unfortunately. I'm ready though to get back to being able to wear medium sized shirts and look good in them. I bought a Ring Fit Adventure and I'm ready to commit to it once I get back from Orlando/AGDQ!
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  25. (BE MORE SOCIAL) I've made it my mission to look at the bottom of the directory for some awesome Pokemon streamers. Not only am I gonna keep doing this, but I'm also actually going to talk in their chatrooms instead of just lurking. I'm looking forward to making some fun new friends. :)
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  27. (PAY OFF MY DEBT) This is a toughy unfortunately but I think I can manage to get through it all before the summer of 2020. I may have to sellout a bit to reach this goal unfortunately but I guess we'll see how this will go in due time.
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  29. (MOVE OUT BEFORE 2021) I refuse to live in this household for another year so I'm gonna make it my goal to most likely move to NYC where I can see and make content with my friends. If I can't, I think I'll start looking in the city nearby so I can just at least be more social.
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  31. (WORK ON MY BRAND OF ENTERTAINMENT) I've felt that speedrunning has kind of killed my commentary and excitement a bit since I kind of do the exact same thing to hopefully get better results each day. Non Speedrunning content as well as watching more casters is really helping this out and I'm looking forward to seeing what traits I can bring out of myself with this.
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  33. (YOUTUBE) I'm gonna make a rough goal of reaching 50,000 subscribers for 2021. I'm going in on nuzlocke's and speedruns!
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  37. Thanks for coming this far. I don't expect folks to read every little thing here but it means a lot that you did read this far! Here are a few folks I wanna give some serious thanks to.
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  39. [GalacticElliot] You are seriously like those all knowing monks you see in movies that you could come to for the most random situation and they'd have an answer for it. You've been one of the best friends I could ask for and I appreciate you hearing me out when I really needed it. Thanks for always supporting me and everything I do! I can't wait to hopefully be roomates come 2020!
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  42. [The4thGenGamer] Some of the best nights I've had are when we just shoot the shit for a few hours before recording a series and I'm glad it's you I can do that with. Thanks for not only literally making my YouTube career but for being there when I need it the most. I'd be in a seriously shitty spot in life without you and I hope you know that.
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  45. [VENALIS] This is a man I could literally not talk to for a year and he'd still talk to you like you talk every day of your life. I fucking miss your face and if you're reading this, thanks for everything you do for me. I feel bad for not reaching out to you like I used to and hope we can just sit down for dinner at a convention at least.
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  48. [STEPHOFANIME] You are literally the queen of relationship advice. I'm sad I didn't try to get to know you more before 2019 but I'm at least glad I can say I appreciate the friendship we have now. Thanks for just caring in general when you never needed to go out of your way to do so. Thanks for everything and I look forward to getting our series off the ground soon!
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  51. [PKMNBB] You seriously came into my life at a time where I needed just a few more steps to get over everything bad that happened in 2019 and became one of my closest friends in the span of a month. I'm seriously glad we've come to form a close friendship and I hope you know how much I appreciate you being around to just sit around, chat, and even watch anime with me sometimes. I'm also seriously beyond proud of how far you've grown and hope I can help push ya in a good direction when you need it! Thanks for being amazing and seriously can't wait to see what you can accomplish in 2020! Partnership soon :eyes:?
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  54. [EVERYONE ELSE] I love you guys but it's 3 AM and I need sleep before I can think of more LOL!
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