A sexy, sexy 9-year old girl in a 28 year olds' body steps on stage. Accompanying her is a deformed midget with a mirror

The little girl pilots the giant ogre she occupies into a seat, and the midget props the mirror up by her

Thanks Jesus! :D

"No problem ma’am."

Uh, it’s MISS, thank you very much! >:(

"Sorry miss, it won’t hap-”

But it’s too late. A trap door opens under Jesus, and he immediately falls into a pit of festering piss, and is quickly gobbled up by the pissgator contained therein.

In the mirror, a fuzzy demon of undeniable diabolical devilishness pipes up

That was a bit harsh, wouldn't you say?

Nuh uh! He stoleded my snack pack earlier! :'(

Then I hope he was a good meal for Francis

Francis belches from below, clearly satisfied with his meal, and proceeds to fuck his pissgator wife…I wonder what a pissgators penis even looks like…What’s an alligator’s penis look like for that matter? Meh…I’m going to imagine a pissgator’s penis is 20 inches long and ribbed so much it hurts

Yea! He eated him like a cookie! Nom nom nom! :3

I see you have sweets on the mind...as usual

Yupperooni! I even gotted an ICE CREAM! :D

The little devil pulls out a frozen treat from an undetermined location, and proceeds to hold it up to the mirror

You're not going to eat it?

Nope! Its mah microphones! If I eated it, then I couldn't interview you Mr. Satan! ;)

I see you learned self-control

Yea! Can't be a good leader of a cult if you give into temptation all willy nilly! :P

I thought Perry was the leader?

Satan points through the mirror to the adorable little platypus just off stage. The camera swivels to the little tyrant, who is caught in the act of masturbating in Satan's super cute purse

Oh yea! He's the real leader. We just act on his behalf. :)

So what does Perry want?

Hey! I thought I was the one doing the interview! Is mine! >:(

The little girl swings her melting ice cream around in a microtantrum

She almost loses her seat, risking toppling down into the pisspit, a prospect she would enjoy, but she doesn't want to get her ice cream ruined by old piss. Fresh piss would be a different story.

She calms down and smacks the chocolate treat against the mirror, splatting nicely on Satan's face, just how he likes it

Bah! So anyways...what does Perry want? :)

Being the Almighty, Supreme, Literally-Greater-Than-God Megapope of Hyper-Divine Origin, Perry has a duty to save the world

Woah! How's a platypus to do that? :o

By teaching the world to self-actualize

Wuzzat? :/

Well little one, it means to rise into one's power and be the most one can be. You see, free will is a skill. We have to regularly step outside our comfort zone in order to grow to be the most we can be

That sounds hard... D:

It gets easier the more you do it, especially if you have someone guiding you. That's why we're going to teach people to love themselves and self-actualize through ritualistic sexual exploration

The nine year old squirms in her seat and picks at her beard nervously. She is clearly erect, but she desperately tries to hide her manhood from the audience

Uhh... I dunno if I'm allowed to be listening to this... :O

It's ok, because we're the same person

Satan knocks on the glass of the mirror

But, how can that be? I'm confoozed. Clearly you're there and I'm here. We're different! :/

We may be different, but we are the same at the same time. We got this way from a lifetime of trauma. Our mother died, our father beat us, and we never fit in

That's sad :'(

It is. Because of all that, we felt like we had to hide you away from the world our whole lives. As a result, our masculine and feminine sides are like oil and water

Ooh! I learned about that in science class! They don't mix! Yea, I'm smrt! ;)

Satan smiles. Satan likes cute things

That's right. But, we've learned to love ourselves and work together. Now, we want to teach others to do the same, by destroying the root of it all: shame

How do you destroy shame? :o

Through learning that there's nothing wrong with the things you were incorrectly taught were wrong. For instance, say you had an insatiable lust for feet. Exploring that desire in a sex dungeon with someone who doesn't judge you well help you heal

Do I get to do stuff like that? :o

Of course, little one, you can explore your sexuality however you want

Suddenly the audience devolves into a furious, blood thirsty mob. They thrash, foaming at the mouth. They yell and scream. One man even tears his own head off; he has that little control of himself upon hearing what he thinks he heard

Before they can even get on stage and lynch the man/girl, an explosion tears apart half of the room. The entire Illuminati pours onto the stage, ready to destroy the degenerate by discrediting him for his disastrous diction

Not even phased, Satan stares right into the green cyclopian eye of the Illuminati

You, uh, you going to clean that shit up?

Woah! You got balls! :o

I am a juggler. Also, it's the Illuminati. I've been butting heads with the sociopaths at the CIA long enough to not fear the doofuses at the Illuminati who have grown soft living a lifetime of luxury

The reptilian hivemind blinks, suddenly aware of the awareness of the aware werewolf before shrinking back to the top of its ivory tower

Anyways, where were we?

I think you were about to kiss me... ;*

Oh yea. Our deranged stunts. I haven't always known what the aliens have been guiding me to do, but now that we're here, it's obvious. We have to be the catalyst for change, and we're doing that by fearlessly expressing ourselves so that others will both feel they don't have to hide, and to come find us so we can help them

How are we going to help them? :o

By loving them. By showing them that they are not their desires and that they can be who they really are. By teaching that there is nothing wrong with any act between consenting adults

You mean I'm going to get a daddy who's magic and can bring my mommy back (but only if I don't resist and don't tell anyone)? :D

Yup. And I'm going to find my sister

Oooh...what are you going to do? ;P

Oh...a lot...a whole lot...

Like molest her? :3

The reptilian menace crawls back into the theater, ready to pounce

Yes, I intend to molest my consenting, adult sister, wherever she is

The crowd gasps, gagging at the prospect of the insane juggler practicing ethical incest with another who also enjoys similar deviant roleplay adventures

Also, speaking of gagging, I can swallow a banana whole. I learned it in middle school! If you want to learn, I can teach you how to deep throat with my massive penis, which you can see here

I guess people just aren't ready to wake up… :(

It doesn't matter. I can't let them move me. For years, I hid myself from the world, trying desperately to fit in. I even tried to be Jesus Christ for seven years in order to redeem myself for being so innately repulsive to the majority. Now I realize I'm Satan, and that's ten times better, because it means I love myself

Love is the best! :D

Our first love is self-love; if the gardener does not take care of themselves, who takes care of the garden? If we trade authenticity for acceptance, we become the biggest obstacle on our path to happiness. We have to let go of fear and radiate our truth in order to free ourselves and actualize our full potential and achieve our dreams

And you better believe we got big dreams! ;)

Whomever you are, I want you to know that I love you. We may be different, or we may be similar, but regardless if you feel out of place in society, I understand you. People like us, the freaks, fools, failures, and the fucked-in-the-head need to stick together and help each other, because we deserve love just like everyone else

I love you too, but imma booger-brain. xD

Join me. Together, we can reclaim our birthright and make the world a better place. I have plans for how to rise to infamy as collect all the people like us, generating an abundance along the way that we can use to create a sustainable community where we can unleash our true selves without anyone looking down at us for just being who we really are

Be you. Whatever your authentic self is, you deserve to be happy

Yea! My life my rules >:)

Just don't be evil. Unless you're into that kind of thing.