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Oneshot: Sexually Suggestive Lyrics and a Monkey Suit

Dec 1st, 2012
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  1. >Day Bloodhound Gang in Equestria
  2. >Rise an hour early just like daylight savings time
  3. >And are in a pretty good mood today
  4. >Shower quickly, grab some food
  5. >Put on your monkey suit and grab your boombox
  6. >Gonna have some fun with Fluttershy today
  7. >You garner some looks while walking
  8. >ZeroFucksGiven
  9. >Today is going to be a good day
  10. >You reach Fluttershy's cottage, and knock on the door
  11. >She answers, confused, but lights up when she sees it's you
  12. >You jump back, and hit the button on your stereo
  13. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k
  14. >You start dancing to the music, making suggestive faces at her
  15. >Her nose begins to bleed, just a little
  16. >'Anon... is this your fetish?'
  17. >You don't answer her, but you wink while continuing to dance
  18. >Nosebleed goes from a trickle to a flow
  19. >As soon as you get to 'Do it like they do on the Discovery Channel', you start thrusting your hips in time with the music
  20. >While miming grabbing two flanks and forcing them onto your cock
  21. >NOSEBLEED MAXIMUM
  22. >The force of the blood rushing out of her nose lifts her off the ground with the force of a rocket
  23. *CRACK*
  24. >She hits her head on the doorjamb, knocking her out cold
  25. >You feel for a pulse
  26. >Still alive
  27. >But it looks like she's going to be out for the rest of the day
  28. >Noice
  29. >You plug her nose so it doesn't bleed everywhere and lay her on the couch
  30. >You pick up the boombox and dance back home, kidnapping a midget mime on the way
  31. >Today was a GREAT fucking day
  32.  
  33. *Next morning*
  34.  
  35. >You wake up to find dozens of crudely drawn pictures of a monkey fucking a yellow horse on your doorstep
  36. >They're covered in drool, noseblood, and marejuice
  37. >Careful not to touch any of them, you sweep them into the trash
  38. >Fucking worth it
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