Louvre:

Jojolity

Each player is given their own specific task here, making my job much easier than it usually is. Just about everything Bert does during the strat is spun in a way to be either an insult to Jack or a show of superiority; Chert is simply hilarious and quite emasculating as a whole, his mimicry of Jack’s fighting style is frustrating, and is choice of secondary weapon in fish carcasses is embarrassing. I was a bit let down in the finale, though; as funny as the set piece is, I think the best way to show dominance over Jack would simply have been to land the final blow in the final moments when you have clearly established the upper hand. Nothing to dislike here, but a bit more brutality would have cinched the perfect score. 4/5
Dread takes some time out to appreciate her surroundings to great effect. I love how the inspiration was put to use in a practical way in the strategy itself rather than be some flavor nod, as it really drives home the idea that what she’s taking in has really changed her way of thinking. Each viewed exhibit adds another weapon or technique to her arsenal, some a bit more useful than others. The new minion and rock slide ideas were great applications, while the stolen pelts from Taxidermy was a bit odd and even somewhat counterintuitive to the strat’s decoy-based approach options. Very good stuff here! 4/5 for a total Red Carpet Regalia Jojolity of 8/10


Jack was tasked with holding nothing back to completely and utterly defeat his enemies, which I believe was handled quite well. There’s a huge array of Laz tech on display in the match, from direct offence with Death Letters and rubble projectiles, to defensive plays like the misdirecting Love Interruptions and zoning with Temporary Ground, and even movement options with the cannonball dashes and ceiling walking. An element of brutality is present in the Bert beatdown, but lacking in much of the rest of the strat. Hiding the sword is an underhanded way to secure victory, and an especially frustrating and humiliating one to lose to for his enemies. I love the desperation on display in the last few set pieces of the strat, with Jack gravity-spearing the sword holder and dragging them as far away as possible without concern of his own well being, and even sacrificing his potentially broken body to buy just that little more time out of the match. Some more direct offensive measures could have squeezed out another point or two from me, but the boss still nets a solid 8/10

Uffizi:

Players:

Onto jojolity here, Dread takes some inspiration from the different exhibits here. Rockslides and Rainmakers in my eyes being the primary examples. On going to the different exhibits again your pathing leaves a lot to be desired here as its really tough to say the visitation pattern especially if complications happened. It’s not an easy call but I’m going to give this half of the jojolity a 3.5.

Onto Bert, a lot of verbal abuse and flexing masculinity. The combat section also has a bit of detail, but I think I would have liked more here, Bert showing themselves directly to be a formidable threat is not really much of an impression I get from reading here. It could just be how it's formatted but it doesn’t really carry that weight or emphasis. A lot of trickery was done, but directly opposing his abilities and handling him head on could have done a lot here if done well. I’m going to total this jojolity up to a **7/10**, I did enjoy the lengths you went with Chert and it was funny, but I don’t really think it was enough to boost this score higher.

Jack:

A lot to be desired here as well, seeking confrontation seemed to be the name of the game here. The first section on dealing with Bert is very short, but you did have a lot more in terms of trying to handle Dread by depriving them of resources. The jojolity is admittedly a tougher one as some behind the scenes stuff says, this match was originally flexible between being either a death or objective match and Bert and Dread are a pair that are very annoying to take down together. I’m going to give this jojolity a **7/10** though, you did a lot of self-sacrificing plays in the name of your goal which by the description of the jojolity does count for something with the “hold nothing back” part of it.

Smithsonian:

Jojolities here were somewhat odd, but I feel like they were delivered on well enough. I’ll begin with Jack, like I did with quality - his jojolity was to thoroughly defeat the opponents here, and while I do think he did fine overall, it did feel like there was something missing here. He goes, uses brutal tactics such as intense head-slammed-on-ground-repeatedly action every once in a while, but it doesn’t feel like the strategy really went out of its way to thoroughly defeat Bert and Dread. This might be in part because of a lack of flavor text, and might be in part because there isn’t enough of an emphasis on direct combat here, but I don’t think I can hand out more than a 7/10 for this.

Bert had the jojolity to prove his superiority to Jack, and he did pretty darn good there, becoming Chert (Chad Bert), stealing Jack’s style, mocking him, and proving that he’s the biggest chad out there, among other things. I would say that coopting the ritual and completing it by himself instead of Jack counts, but it’s not a part of the strat so it doesn’t. I’d say that this is an all around solid jojolity, worthy of a 4/5, but missing a few more implementations and direct insults to Jack to really hammer it all in and to warrant a full score.

Dread is in a similar situation, with her having plenty of jojolity plays, but with them not really affecting the strategy too much or with it being built around them too much. Then again, this was somewhat harder to integrate in, there’s solid flavor here, and stuff such as using animal pelts, healing with insects / plants, or causing parts of the ceiling to cave in is all fun, so I’ll give it a 4/5.