BULLSHIT

>Your name is Anonymous.
>And your hot pockets are done.
>It's been a long wait, but it's worth it.
>You have places to be, and things you must do.
>You open the microwave, and take out your prize.
>You hold it in your hand as it takes a bite out of you.
>It's a weird feeling, getting eaten by your food.
>you know this to be the only way to get into Equestria.
>It's slowly eating your arm, the pain is strangely nonexistent.
>It's up to your elbow, when you hear a knock on your door.
>You casually walk to your door, and open it.
>It's your friend, Jew C. The Hebrew O.G.
"Hey Jew, what's up?"
>He just stares at your arm.
"What?"
>"Did you really genetically engineer a fucking wormhole hot pocket that has to eat people to send them to places?"
"... Maybe."
>He lets out a sigh, "Well, when it's done eating you, I'm going to sell it. I'll make big bucks off it."
"But. I plan on taking it with me..."
>It's now at your shoulder.
>"And how do you plan on doing that?"
"I didn't think that far...."
>"Therefore, it's mine when it's done."
"Fine..."
>He walks inside and turns on your TV.
>You walk over to the couch as the hot pocket reaches your head.
>It's eaten your left eye now, and you can see that you're in somewhere dark.
>Huh. It's also pretty cramped in here.
>And moist.
>Like. Holy fuck is it wet.
>Your entire head is now inside of... Wherever.
>It's a little hard to breath, but you can manage.
>After about 12 more minutes it's now down to your waist.
>It's even more cramped with half your body inside.
>It's also harder to breath.
>Like DAMN.
>It's like you're in some mare’s womb!
>That's when you hear it.
>"Tia, are you alright?"
>Oh god...
>Please, god no. Please don’t be true...
>”I… I think it’s happening again…”
>”I’ll go get the doctor!”
>”Be fast, Luna!”
>It is…
>You’re in Celesta’s womb…
>And your arms are already inside.
>It’s too late to pull yourself out.
>All you can do is wait…
>Wait to be born. Again.
>Your legs are almost all the way inside.
>You hear more sounds from outside of the womb.
>TD:”Okay, from what I’ve heard. You’re about to give birth?”
>PC: “Technically, yes…”
>TD: “What do you mean ‘technically’?”
>PC: “Well… All wormholes lead to my womb…”
>TD: “…What. Oh boy. How many times has this happened?”
>PC: “…about three…”
>TD: “And do you know HOW that wormhole ended up in your womb?”
>PC: “It happened when I ate a hot pocket…”
>You hear a sigh, “I understand… It was probably a genetically engineered hot pocket for the sake to wormhole travel.”
>PC: “…What?”
>TD: “Never mind. All we can do is wait until the being is fully eaten by the hot pocket.”
>PC: “I hope that’s soon… This hurts…”
>after about 5 more minutes, your feet are finally inside.
>TD: “There, I think it’s all the way inside. Let’s start the birthing.”
>This is now the weirdest thing you have even been though.
>You do your best to block out the next while.
>The next thing you know is your feet popping out and a bright light.
>TD: “It seems to be a male.”
>PC: “That’s odd. They always seem to be male… And look the same.”
>You stand up, brush yourself off, and run like a Kenyan.
>Never have you run so fast in your life.
>Well, maybe that’s because you’re not really running, but floating in place.
>PC: “Do you REALLY think that I would let you run away after what you put me through?”
“…I didn’t think I’d end up inside your vagina…”
>PC: “And where do you think you would have ended up? Ponyville?”
“…Yes.”
>She lets out a sigh, “Well, you’re going to be living here from now on. I’m going to get some payback for having to give birth to you.”
>You shudder at that thought.
>Today was a hot pocket day.

==

>Day TWKYK in Equestria.
>You are walking into the town square of Ponyville with your wooden soap box and mega phone in hand.
>You find a nice area right in the middle of the quiet town.
>You set the box down, and stand on it.
>Turing on the megaphone, you raise it to your mouth and shout, "THE GRAPE MEN ARE FALLING FROM THE SKY TO RAPE YOU UP THE ANUS WITH THEIR MIGHTY STEMS! FEAR THEIR POWERS!"
>You calmly step down from the box, turn off the megaphone, pick up the box, and walk away.
>From the sky, you can hear the shouts of the mighty grape men riding down upon their mighty steeds, the Tomatoes.
>You glance up into the sky, and see them raining rape down upon ponyville.
>You can hear their war cries.
>"GET OVER HERE YOU PONIES; I'M GOING TO GRAPE YOU IN THE MOUTH!"
>and, "WE'LL TIE YOU TO LAMP POSTS, AND GRAPE YOU UP THE ASS."
>You hear mass panic at the sounds of their war cries.
>You casual stroll out of town, when Applejack stops you.
>"Anon, what in tar-nation is going on here!?"
"HELP ME MY GRAPE OVERLORDS, ONE HAS MADE THREATS UPON MY LIFE!!!"
>A giant grape man falls from the sky, landing on applejacks back.
>She takes the blow incredibly well, but it distracts her long enough for you to flee.
>You can hear the screams of rape behind you as you run out of town, and into the everfree forest.
>Today was a normal day.