muko 12 PR squid - REVIEW

Ashitaba-san Chi no Muko Kurashi Ch. 12 - Squid

[8]
1: Hey, Shion!
1: Hey Shion!
m: you should have a comma after greetings. See: http://theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/punctuation-in-dialogue/ "Names in dialogue"

[9]
2: Husband... I thought you were suck?
2: Husband... I thought you were sick?
m: this is possibly where critical thinking comes in. The dude is married to the other sister, as seen later in chapter. Maybe the proper greeting in Japan is husband, maybe not? I sent a question to the TL, and this is where you would leave a note/reminder to ask them too.

4: You pretend to be sick just so you could play some video games? My sister has no eyes for men...
4: You pretended to be sick just so you could play some video games? My sister has no eyes for men...
m: pretend/pretended both work in this context, but the phrase is "to have an eye", not eyes.

[10]

m: 6: Remember, I'm only playing with you out of the kindness of my heart, now that I've gotten over my cold!
m: critical thinking and panel reading here. Shion is the one saying this to Mu, she should be talking about /his/ cold, not /hers/.

8: It's the opposite.
8: You've got it the other way around.
m: you have to consider the size of the bubble here. It's barely large enough to fit the original.
[11]
5: S-Sorry, Shion-chan!
5: S-Sorry Shion-chan!
m: see first comment.

[13]
1: If you touch men too much, you'll get pregnant, Shion.
1: Shion, if you touch men too much, you'll get pregnant.
m: good edit.

[23]
4: I can't take these little sisters of mine anymore, Mu-kun!
4: I can't stand these little sisters of mine anymore, Mu-kun!
m: works either way.