E-GIRL/COM-GIRL ESEX METHOD

as a professional egirl wrangler for around year or so, my friends have always been wondering how i reel in the egirls. i have created this guide to help you and my friends to finally get some of those social interactions with the egirls on the internet.

since we are all hopeless and socially awkward, our only hope of finding any form of attention and validation is on the internet.

first of all to get started, you must meet the requirements:
be at least average height (5'7 - 5'10, you do not need this guide if you’re 6'+)
be relatively good at popular games (e.g league of legends, overwatch) - i will specifically explain why these games later
have a microphone / a phone to vc with, dumbass

why must you be average height?

because ur height is the only thing that is going for you rn.

why games such as lol and ow?

because of the support role which is an essential in both games, there is always bound to be a female player that frequents the support role, so, ur best chances of finding any egirl will be from team-based games that has a support role as an essential in the game and is easy to learn. being good at these games is also important which i will cover later on in this guide.

why have a microphone?

not only is it important for an egirl to have a microphone (so that they're not catfishing), you should also have one as well. voice chatting is the key to form a great connection with ur egirl. proper communication not only allows them to be comfortable around u, but you can also be comfortable around them.

tip: if ur already lonely, depressed and semi-good at video games then you already have a head start.


step 1 - getting into a friend circle
getting into a friend circle is tough since you can't forcefully self insert urself within a group, otherwise you'll be seen as a joke. you'll have to slowly infiltrate the friend group, until you slowly become a part of them; such as playing games with them every now and then just chatting with them in general.

so how do u find a friend group/circle to begin with?

just lurk around public discord servers until you set ur eyes on a target - this will be covered later in the guide.

remember to always broaden ur options.

step 2 - finding ur target (the egirl)
once you've infiltrated the friend group (or joined a public discord server), that is 50% of the work done. now you have to set ur eyes on the right egirls for you. however in this day and age, there's a large variety of egirls each having their own pros and cons.

many egirls can vary from personality, so this section will only cover 4 types of common egirls that you should avoid / attack - you can go for any egirl you want, but this is a really risky decision to take.

the depressed egirl
often uses art from aoi ogata as their avatars

all egirls are depressed in one way or another, but these ones take it to the next level. these egirls are beyond suicidal and are emotionally broken, almost going for any relationships with any guys they can get their hands on whether its toxic or not for them, they just don't care.

i suggest avoiding these egirls, unless you love broken egirls and want to be stuck with an egirl who has suicidal tendencies riddled in her rants. this type of egirl is really high maintenance.


the horny egirl
often uses animal pics or any other pics w/ hearts edited in them

these egirls are the horniest you'll ever meet, always down to sleep and nut on mic with you at any given time. thought you were horny when you masturbated for 6 hours straight to hentai? you thought wrong.

this is typically the best experience you'll get from any other egirls. however, they hate being in a relationship and hate the thought of it, so falling in love with these egirls is really dangerous and volatile for the both of you. i'll only recommend these egirls if you are the type of person that is not looking for anything too serious, this type of egirl requires little maintenance.

the psychotic egirl



often uses avatars that depicts characters with devil horns

these egirls are surprisingly pretty chill - only at the beginning.

these egirls are really manipulative and are just overall crazy. one small trip and you'll end up being wound up in her web. they will control anyone to get what they want, and will typically do so in ways that are subtle, such as ignoring you for long periods of time just to get what they want. they crave attention 24/7 and will screech at the thought of you ever talking to any other egirl, let alone seeing you talk with another egirl.

i suggest that you should avoid them - though they are not the worst, so as long as you know what you are doing and you are able to be in control (more on this later). this type of egirl requires extreme maintenance and you should always be cautious with any interaction with her.

the "im not like other girls" egirl
usually has their selfie/their pets as an avatar

not much to say about these ones, i mean they're ok i guess lmao. typically really chill and easy to get along with. they banter a lot but honestly imo they can be kinda boring sometimes.

would definitely recommend to anyone that is starting off on the egirl grind. this type of egirl is really low maintenance.


fact: egirls arent funny


step 3 - attack
now that you've picked ur target, its time to attack. to do this you simply start a dm with them; however, first impressions are everything, so don't look like a mess and end up typing the single most cringiest sentence to ever form from a human being.

this section will help you on starting conversations and will eventually help you on escalating things that will happen in certain situations and scenarios.

conversation openers

remember to always remain nonchalant when sliding into the dms. don't expect anything and just go on like how you would when meeting new people.


another good way to break the ice to ask her for her height, keep in mind she will ask for ur height too; this is where ur height comes into play. most egirls are amongst the reaches of 5'1 - 5'3, this is why you must be at least 5'7 otherwise you WILL be made fun of. luckily i am just the bare minimum of 5'7 which is why i have found much success using this technique. however, this technique will not work for egirls that are 5'6 and above.

being able to literally TOWER an egirl simply by typing out ur height is the biggest power play of the modern world. an egirl would go on both her knees for people that are significantly taller than them. make sure to belittle and mock them while you're at it so you can assert ur dominance and let them know that you're not going to take any bs from them. the worst thing you can do is have an egirl take control of the conversation and potentially the relationship; make sure the mocking and belittling is banter and kept in moderation - this will be further discussed in the next step.


step 4 - forming a connection with ur egirl
after being able to break the ice with ur egirl, its time to form a connection with ur egirl. however this will vary in difficulty between each egirl as mentioned in step 2.

ways to maintain a connection is to flame banter with her.

however you have to be careful on what you banter with ur egirl. most, if not ALL egirls are insecure about themselves in one way or another, whether it'd be their body or their personality. they will be insecure about something and you shouldn't risk making fun of them for it, this will destroy ALL ur work and progress with ur egirl as you have basically destroyed what is left of her self-esteem. instead, make fun of her height as mentioned in step 3. being able to "flame" an egirl allows her to know that you're not messing around and that you can leave her at any given moment - remember, all egirls are depressed, so take the advantage of playing around with her abandonment issues.

another good way to form a connection with ur egirl is to play games with them. the games you should play with ur egirl has been mentioned in the introduction of this guide and these will be further discussed in this section. since league of legends is where i got most of my egirls, it will be the only game i'll be featuring in this section as i am more knowledgeable in this category.

you have probably heard of this game before but have never played it, so to sum it up, league of legends is a team-based 5v5 moba (multiplayer online battle arena). there are 3 lanes in the map and each player has a role that they have to fulfill. the bottom lane is where most of ur connections will be made with ur egirl since its a 2v2. ur egirl will be playing support for you in the bottom lane and you will be playing as an adc (attack damage carry). since you're playing adc, you will be able to carry her and show her that you are just simply a godlike entity and should not be messed with. being good at a video game where you can carry ur egirl can form the greatest of connections, and be sure to flame and belittle her for making the smallest of mistakes and be sure to threaten her to leave her for her dumb mistakes (this will play into her abandonment issues). doing this will ensure that ur egirl sticks to youu like glue as you've made sure that you're the only one for her.

however, if you can't play games with ur egirl or if ur just bad at video games in general, then there is another way.

by constantly chatting with her and "complimenting" her. a good way of complimenting her is to just call her cute. egirls love nothing more than being called cute and being praised.

conclusion - egirl obtained
now that you have followed all the steps, you have finally obtained your very own egirl. she will now sleep and every so often NUT on mic with you. congratulations, welcome to hell.

feel free to go up to ur egirls and tell them what you want and when you want it.