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Swift_M0nkey

Niggquestria

Aug 7th, 2013
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  1. >Just another day in Equestria.
  2. >As you sit on your recliner about to fall asleep, a knock on the door is heard.
  3. >You stand up and walk over after stretching.
  4. >When you open the door you see Fluttershy with a backwards hat on.
  5. "Uhhh... What's up with the hat Shy?"
  6. >"Nigga you dissin on my s-swag?"
  7. "What?"
  8. >"You aint deaf nigga cause you can hear my pussy flappin from three miles away."
  9. >What the fuck?
  10. "Why are y-"
  11. >"Aye shut the fuck up for a second my nigga, I got somethin to say. So I was just walkin down the street mindin my business when all the sudden this nigga Big Mac be whistlin at me. Now I aint some kinda crusty old skank about to bend over and gobble up his meat with my turkey, so I slapped him across the face. He ran away cryin like a bitch."
  12. >You do not know how to respond.
  13. >"What bitch you just gonna stare or you gonna suck my clit already?"
  14. >She turns around and sticks out her ass, presenting to you her winking clit.
  15. "Fluttershy what's happened to you?"
  16. >"The fuck you mean? I've always been like this nigga! Straight up worst flier in Equestria but hardest nigga from the underground ya feel me?"
  17. "I don't... How do I word this?"
  18. >"Just fucking say it pussy ass bitch."
  19. "You're acting ignorant as hell."
  20. >"Shiiit Anon. We need to get you to Twilight to get that head checked mah nigga."
  21. >She grabs hold of your shirt and pulls you out of your house.
  22. >As you are lead by her you see Rarity talking with Spike.
  23. >"Aye Spike. Is yo little ass dick spiked too?"
  24. >"You bet your drenched ass pussy lips it is."
  25. >She giggles.
  26. >"I wouldn't even fuck you."
  27. >She looks away and then back at him.
  28. >"Alright maybe I'd fuck you once."
  29. >SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!
  30. >Rainbow swoops down and walks beside you.
  31. >"Sup Anonybitch. Sup Fluttercunt."
  32. >"Whatchu want ya faggot?"
  33. >"Dayum girl just tryna check up on a cunt! But if you don't want me here then I'll split."
  34. >Fluttershy nods at her.
  35. >"Yeah you best be gettin that crusted cooch the fuck outta my face."
  36. >"Whatever bitch eat my rainbows."
  37. >She flies away.
  38. >This is actually scary.
  39. >What is Twilight gonna be like?
  40. >As if on cue, you look forward to see Twilight's Library.
  41. >The door swings open and tons of smoke comes out.
  42. >Your first thought would be that her tree was on fire.
  43. >But then she stumbles out with bloodshot eyes and a goofy smile on her face.
  44. >"Whassup mah nigga Shy?"
  45. >Oh jesus fuck no.
  46. >"Nothin much bitch, take a look at Anon though. His head aint workin right or some shit."
  47. >Twilight grabs you by the face with her magic and pulls you a little too close to her own face.
  48. >"Nah Shy I don't see nothin wrong with him."
  49. >Finally something good to come from this da-
  50. >"Except that he aint FUUUCKED up!"
  51. >Flutters puts a hoof in the air, "Woo! Party at mah nigga Twilight's tree!"
  52. >Tons of ponies swarm to the tree and push you inside.
  53. >Within minutes the entire tree is full and now you are being handed a blunt by Twilight.
  54. "N-No thank you."
  55. >You try to move but she pushes you against a wall with her magic, making you hit your head on a shelf.
  56. >"Get smacked the fuck up or get cracked the fuck up, your choice."
  57. >She brings the blunt up to your mouth with her magic and you suck in.
  58. >Blow it right back out on her face.
  59. >She drops you and groans as she rubs her eyes.
  60. >"Damn nigga you bout to make me go blind n shit fuck you!"
  61. >You manage to make it past the ponies twerking and grinding on each other and outside before you're tackled.
  62. >Turn over and see Pinkie Pie there on you.
  63. "Pinkie! Please tell me you're okay!"
  64. >"I aint okay unless you okay. Now lets get you okay baby."
  65. >She bends down and pushes her lips onto yours.
  66. >You push back and she comes off of your lips.
  67. >"I want you to pound my pussy like the game for little kids. I want you to bop it twist it pull it bitch. I want you to hulk smash my meatlocker with your rooster."
  68. >She tries to pull off your pants and you knee her in the stomach, making her roll over in pain.
  69. >"Fuck you nigga! Probably gonna give me some fuckin ulcers or some shit ughh..."
  70. >All you do is shake your head before leaving the scene.
  71. >This is fucking insane.
  72. >How did this even happen?
  73. >Before you can think about it any longer, a rope trips you.
  74. >You turn to see Applejack with her hat sideways.
  75. >"Shit Anon Ah thought you was one of them niggas tryna steal mah apples. But ayye ayye..."
  76. >She comes a little closer.
  77. >"You wanna buy somethin?"
  78. >She wheels a cart forward and it's filled with every drug you've ever seen before plus more.
  79. "No!"
  80. >You start running home.
  81. >Applejack screams can be heard in the distance, "Ah aint no stupid ass with them used needles and shit, come buy some!"
  82. >Rainbow flies down beside you as you are running.
  83. >"Yo shit you be runnin so fast your feet blurrin like sonic the fuckin hedgehog nigga!"
  84. >You don't respond to her and continue running.
  85. >"Oh I see. The silent treatment is what a nigga deserve for bein so nice to a bitch. Fine then! Fuck you and your bigass forehead faggot!"
  86. >She flies off into the darkening sky.
  87. >Finally you make it home and lock the door once you're inside.
  88. >The sun just goes over the side of the mountain and the moon comes up.
  89. >Holy shit was that crazy.
  90. >You grab your head as you walk up the stairs.
  91. >Then you go into your room and lay in your bed.
  92. >As you lay there you think aloud.
  93. "What the fuck was up with that?"
  94. >"I don't know mah nigga but now that we alone we can rut and I'll be spittin out babies like a bunny."
  95. >You turn your head and see Fluttershy there.
  96. >She plants a kiss on your lips and delves her tongue deep into your throat.
  97. >As quick as you can, you kick her off of you.
  98. >She hits the nightstand with her head and is knocked unconscious.
  99. >Fuck.
  100. >This crazy ass planet.
  101. >You climb back in bed and then a groan is heard.
  102. >"Shit nigga my head hurt more than that one time I drank all that apple cider for real son..."
  103. >Before she gets up, you knock the lamp down on her.
  104. >A shatter noise is heard and then nothing.
  105. >Finally you can get some sleep without being bothered by
  106. >Fucking Niggashy.
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