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MLP: Everyday Life With Guardsmares (/RGM/) - FAQ

ManFromAnotherTime Dec 22nd, 2017 (edited) 550 Never
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  1. "Everyday Life With Guardsmares"
  2. by The Man From Another Time
  3. themanfromanothertime@gmail.com
  4.  
  5. Written for the Royal Guard Mare thread on /mlp/
  6.  
  7. Character art: http://imgur.com/a/IEcnJ (characters in order of appearance; possible spoiler warning)
  8.  
  9. FAQ & Character/Location List
  10.  
  11.  
  12.  
  13.  
  14. ==== FAQ ====
  15.  
  16. Q: What's in this story?
  17. A: This is an adventure story in the vein of "The Flashman Papers" or the Aubrey-Maturin series ("Master & Commander"). There's some action, some character development, some world-building, some feels, and some adult content of not-so-explicit and yes-so-explicit kinds.
  18.  
  19. Q: I've never read anything in the Royal Guard Mare Thread of /mlp/; will I have a problem understanding this story?
  20. A: Nope! There's no continuity between this story and any other. All you need to know is that there are Royal Guards and that some of them are mares.
  21.  
  22. Q: Is this story based on something else?
  23. A: Nope! I mean, all the bits and pieces are ripped off of somewhere or another, but it's not based on any one single other story.
  24.  
  25. Q: When did you start writing this greentext?
  26. A: June 2017
  27.  
  28. Q: How often do you update?
  29. A: I try to put out 2 scenes a week, typically one on the weekend and one mid-week. Sometimes I manage 3. Occasionally I call a hiatus; check the thread for a post.
  30.  
  31. Q: How long does each update take you?
  32. A: About 3-4 hours.
  33.  
  34. Q: What do you use to write this greentext?
  35. A: Notepad++ with a spell-checker plugin and custom syntax highlighting to do >greentext.
  36.  
  37. Q: Have you served in the military?
  38. A: Nope. I get my references from conducting general research and from comedy sites like 'Terminal Lance'.
  39.  
  40. Q: What is Sgt. Ebonshield's accent?
  41. A: Spanish. In this story, batponies speak Spanish.
  42.  
  43. Q: Why do batponies speak Spanish?
  44. A: Originally, I intended them to have British accents and an archaic vocabulary. However, when I had Sergeant Ebonshield use the word 'majordomo' during her second scene, some readers saw it in the context of a very common Spanish honorific, and believed she was Spanish. When I explained what I was trying to do, they then persuaded me to switch to Spanish, and upon reflection it seemed to work with the ideas I had for batponies, so I went back and altered some of the descriptive text and Ebonshield's language to make it more explicit.
  45.  
  46. Be advised that when batponies are speaking 'Equestrian' (i.e., English), they may make errors such as misordering words (e.g., 'times uncertain' instead of 'uncertain times'), failing to use contractions (do not -> don't), assigning gender to inanimate objects ('the moon, she is bright'), or excessively prefixing nouns with determinants like 'the'. These are all common mistakes that native Spanish speakers make with English.
  47.  
  48. Q: Do you speak Spanish or have Spanish heritage?
  49. A: I speak only a few words of Spanish and have no Spanish heritage. I do, however, speak fluent French, another Romance language with gendered nouns. That, plus some research, plus imagining David Suchet as Hercule Poirot, plus a little Google Translate, is how I'm composing the semi-broken English spoken (and narrated) by Ebonshield and other batponies.
  50.  
  51. Q: Why do griffons speak Russian?
  52. A: Because I needed a foreign language and it seemed like the best one. It also kinda fits with the Victorian theme I'm going for. Like Griffonstone, Russia was in a weird place during the mid/late-Victorian era, having easily overpowered its neighbours, but still operating with a backwards social order, having little industry to speak of, and suffering frequent revolts. Britain & France joined forces to keep it in check later, as well. Also, although I'm trying not to make the griffons gopnik (look it up) caricatures, I do like the art people have made of griffons squatting around in caps drinking vodka.
  53.  
  54. Q: Do you speak Russian or have Russian heritage?
  55. A: I don't speak any Russian beyond what I picked up from STALKER and other Internet memes. I have put in a little research and also used my experience listening to thickly-accented Slavic friends speak.
  56.  
  57. Q: So if Batponies are Spanish and Griffons are Russian, what the hell are Dragons going to be?
  58. A: I dunno, I'll let you know when one has a speaking role.
  59.  
  60. Q: Where the hell is Prance/France? Why do people reference Prench/French?
  61. A: The show started this mess so I'm going to let them figure it out. Until then 'Prance' remains cheerfully nebulous.
  62.  
  63.  
  64. ==== Location List ====
  65. (Warning: Spoilers)
  66. Canon locations are not included in this list.
  67.  
  68. ~~ Settlements ~~
  69.  
  70. * Berry *
  71. Small town north of Canterlot. Spc. Sparkshower's hometown.
  72.  
  73. * Newcastle-Upon-Mare *
  74. Village outside of Canterlot. HQ for the 1st Battalion 'Peregrines' of the Princess-Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries.
  75.  
  76.  
  77. ~~ Vendors ~~
  78.  
  79. * Bridle Path Clothiers *
  80. Bespoke coltswear store, Canterlot, Poole Street.
  81.  
  82. * Sardinia Theatre *
  83. Light operatic show venue, Canterlot.
  84.  
  85. * The Stables *
  86. Nightclub, Canterlot, Thin Street, near Pachyderm & Palace Circle
  87.  
  88. * Eliza's Efflorescences *
  89. Flower shop, Canterlot, Floral Street.
  90.  
  91. * Bronzehorn Arms & Armour *
  92. Smithy, Newcastle-Upon-Mare.
  93.  
  94.  
  95.  
  96.  
  97. ==== Character List ====
  98. (Warning: Spoilers)
  99. Canon characters are not included in this list.
  100.  
  101.  
  102. ~~ Main Characters ~~
  103.  
  104. * Anonymous *
  105. Human. By Appointment to Their Majesties Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, The Royal Engineer of Equestria.
  106.  
  107. * Specialist Artemis 'Sparks' Sparkshower *
  108. Pegasus guardsmare in heavy armour. Serves as one of Anonymous' bodyguards.
  109.  
  110. * Specialist Lily 'Lil' Glamerspear *
  111. Unicorn guardsmare specializing in anti-aircraft fire. Serves as one of Anonymous' bodyguards.
  112.  
  113. * Corporal Honour Bound *
  114. Earth Pony guardsmare from the infantry. Serves as one of Anonymous' bodyguards.
  115.  
  116. * Sergeant First Class Purity 'Eb' Ebonshield [Pureza Ébanoscudo] *
  117. Batpony guardsmare from the Night Guard's 'Duskwatch'. Serves as one of Anonymous' bodyguards.
  118.  
  119.  
  120. ~~ Supporting Characters ~~
  121.  
  122. * Lieutenant Temper 'Vi' Violetta *
  123. Earth Pony guardsmare in charge of one of the VIP bodyguard service platoons which includes Anonymous' bodyguards.
  124.  
  125. * Private First Class Featherhooves *
  126. Griffon guardshen, Princess-Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries, 1st Battalion 'Peregrines'. Escorts Sparkshower to Bronzehorn's smithy.
  127.  
  128.  
  129. ~~ Equestrian Government ~~
  130.  
  131. * Purse Strings *
  132. Chancellor of the Exchequer.
  133.  
  134.  
  135. ~~ Equestrian Royal Guard ~~
  136.  
  137. * Captain Mailedhoof *
  138.  
  139. * Lieutenant Valiant 'Icepone' Kilfeather *
  140. Pegasus guardscolt. Leader of the 1st Air Wing of the 1st Canterlot Air Division, commonly known as the '1st Canterlot Air Superiority Wing'. Duelled Spc. Glamerspear at the Battle of Newstirrup Bridge.
  141.  
  142. * Lieutenant 'Joker' *
  143. Pegasus guardscolt. Kilfeather's right-hoof colt. Duelled Spc. Sparkshower at the Battle of Newstirrup Bridge.
  144.  
  145. * Lieutenant Junior Grade 'Duck' *
  146. Pegasus guardscolt. Member of Kilfeather's 1st Air Superiority Wing. Duelled Cpl. Bound at the Battle of Newstirrup Bridge.
  147.  
  148. * Lieutenant Junior Grade 'Reiner' *
  149. Pegasus guardscolt. Member of Kilfeather's 1st Air Superiority Wing.
  150.  
  151. * Lieutenant Junior Grade 'Wolfpony' *
  152. Pegasus guardscolt. Member of Kilfeather's 1st Air Superiority Wing.
  153.  
  154. * Lieutenant Junior Grade 'Applewood' *
  155. Pegasus guardscolt. Member of Kilfeather's 1st Air Superiority Wing. Blonde-maned with a mosutache.
  156.  
  157. * Major-General Georgia Hoofstrong *
  158. Commander, 1st Canterlot Air Division. Signed the papers authorizing Kilfeather's Pas-de-Sabots.
  159.  
  160. * Sergeant Mareline Tandem *
  161. Guardsmare. One of Spc. Sparkshower's drill sergeants in Armoured Corps training.
  162.  
  163. * Lieutenant-Colonel Belle *
  164. Chief of Staff of the Judge Advocate General's Office.
  165.  
  166. * Private 'Snuffy' Snafu *
  167. Diamond Dog guardsdog, Princess-Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries. Posted at the gate when Sparkshower first arrived.
  168.  
  169. * Private 'Dilly' Dilbert *
  170. Diamond Dog guardsdog, Princess-Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries. Posted at the gate when Sparkshower first arrived.
  171.  
  172. * Lieutenant-Colonel Countess Bashara Percheron *
  173. Earth Pony guardsmare. Commander of the 1st Battalion 'Peregrines' of the Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries. Aunt of Lt. Woodhouse.
  174.  
  175. * Lieutenant Bertram 'Bertie' Woodhouse *
  176. Earth Pony guardscolt, Princess-Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries, 1st Battalion 'Peregrines'. Nephew of Lt-Col. Percheron.
  177.  
  178. * Lieutenant Cheesewright *
  179. Earth Pony, Princess-Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries, 1st Battalion 'Peregrines'.
  180.  
  181. * 1st Sergeant Gercog *
  182. Griffon guardscock, Princess-Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries, 1st Battalion 'Peregrines'.
  183.  
  184. * Major Bloodnok *
  185. Earth Pony guardscolt, Princess-Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries, 1st Battalion 'Peregrines'.
  186.  
  187.  
  188. ~~ Royal Guard Divisions ~~
  189.  
  190. * 1st Air Division *
  191. Responsible for the defence of the "central sector" around Cloudsdale, Canterlot, and Ponyville.
  192. Commander: Maj-Gen. Hoofstrong
  193. HQ: Canterlot
  194. 1st Air Wing: Lt. Kilfeather
  195.  
  196. * Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries *
  197. Regiment accepting non-ponies and non-citizens as enlisted troops. Service guarantees citizenship.
  198. Commander: ?
  199. 1st Battalion 'Peregrines': Lt.-Col. Percheron (HQ: Fort Newcastle-Upon-Mare)
  200.  
  201. * Canterlot Palace Military Office *
  202. Bureau encompassing Royal Guard VIP services.
  203.  
  204.  
  205. ~~ Night Guard ~~
  206.  
  207. * Marcos Ebonshield *
  208. Batpony guardscolt. Brother of Sgt. Ebonshield.
  209.  
  210.  
  211. ~~ Industry ~~
  212.  
  213. * Martingale-Locksteed *
  214. Manufacturer of advanced military equipment.
  215.  
  216. * J. P. Mustang *
  217. Earth Pony colt. Wealthy investor from Manehattan. Endorsed Anonymous. Helped Bitsmount's grandfather establish Bitsmount mine.
  218.  
  219. * Galloway Bitsmount, Esquire *
  220. Earth Pony gentlecolt. Owner of Bitsmount silver mine, which has had several recent collapses.
  221.  
  222. * Phillip Songwell *
  223. Earth Pony colt. Foremost teamster of Bitsmount silver mine.
  224.  
  225.  
  226. ~~ Entertainment ~~
  227.  
  228. * Gallop & Stallion *
  229. Authors of light comedic operas for the Sardinia Theatre.
  230.  
  231.  
  232. ~~ Bodyguards ~~
  233.  
  234. * George Zerofear *
  235. Earth Pony colt. Bodyguard to J. P. Mustang.
  236.  
  237. * Gustav *
  238. Earth Pony colt. Bodyguard to J. P. Mustang.
  239.  
  240. * Isabelle Coquette *
  241. Earth Pony mare. Bodyguard to Galloway Bitsmount.
  242.  
  243.  
  244. ~~ Other/Unaffiliated ~~
  245.  
  246. * Huckleberry Pudding *
  247. Earth Pony colt. Spc. Sparkshower's long-distance coltfriend in berry.
  248.  
  249. * 'Isfet' *
  250. Unicorn colt. Black-market merchant of illicit magical goods.
  251.  
  252. * 'Granny Nag' *
  253. Earth Pony mare. Associate of 'Ifset'.
  254.  
  255.  
  256.  
  257. ==== Gag List ====
  258.  
  259. Explanations for some of the gag names in the story.
  260.  
  261. ~~ Characters ~~
  262.  
  263. Spc. Glamerspear
  264. 'Glamer' is an archaic word for an illusory effect. It also rhymes with 'Glamour'.
  265.  
  266. Lt. Temper Violetta
  267. 'Temper Vi' is a reference to 'Semper Fi', Latin for 'Always Faithful', and the motto of the US Marine Corps.
  268.  
  269. Lt. Valiant 'Icepone' Kilfeather
  270. 'Iceman', Val Kilmer's character in 'Top Gun'
  271.  
  272. Lt. 'Joker'
  273. 'Jester', Michael Ironside's character in 'Top Gun'
  274.  
  275. Lt. JG 'Duck'
  276. 'Goose', Anthony Edwards' character in 'Top Gun'
  277.  
  278. Lt. JG 'Reiner'
  279. 'Slider', Rick Rossovich's character in 'Top Gun'. 'Reining' is cowboy show riding, and this name also references the cowboy hat worn by 'Wolfman', Barry Tubb's character.
  280.  
  281. Lt. JG 'Wolfpony'
  282. 'Wolfman', Barry' Tubb's character in 'Top Gun'
  283.  
  284. Lt. JG 'Applewood'
  285. 'Hollywood', Whip Hubley's character in 'Top Gun'
  286.  
  287. Maj-Gen Georgia Georgia Hoofstrong
  288. George Armstrong Custer, US Army
  289.  
  290. Phillip Songwell
  291. Literal translation of Phillipe Hennebeau, owner of the mine in Emile Zola's novel 'Germinal'
  292.  
  293. Galloway Bitsmount
  294. Named for the mine he owns (see below)
  295.  
  296. J.P. Mustang
  297. John Pierpont (J.P.) Morgan, American financier.
  298.  
  299. George Zerofear
  300. Zero Moutsafa, the lobby boy from 'The Grand Budapest Hotel'.
  301.  
  302. Gustav
  303. Monsieur Gustave H, the concierge from 'The Grand Budapest Hotel'
  304.  
  305. Isabelle Coquette
  306. Isabelle, the promiscuous pirate from 'Dragon Age: Origins'. 'Coquette' literally means flirt or tart in French.
  307.  
  308. Huckleberry Pudding
  309. Huckleberry Pie from 'Strawberry Shortcake'
  310.  
  311. Granny Nag
  312. 'Granny Rags', from 'Dishonored'. A 'Nag' is an old, useless horse.
  313.  
  314. Isfet
  315. Isfet is the ancient Egyptian embodiment of chaos and injustice.
  316.  
  317. Marcos Ebonshield
  318. Marcos is the Spanish of Marcus, from 'Mars', the Roman God of War.
  319.  
  320. Pvt. 'Snuffy' Snafu
  321. 'Private SNAFU' is the titular character of a series of WW2-era training cartoons.
  322.  
  323. Pvt. 'Dilly' Dilbert
  324. Aviator 'Dilbert Groundloop', the titular character of a series of WW2-era training manuals for US Navy pilots.
  325.  
  326. Lt.-Col. Countess Bashara Percheron
  327. 'Percheron' is a breed of cold-blooded French horses.
  328.  
  329. Lt. Bertram 'Bertie' Woodhouse
  330. Bertie Wooster, the main character in the 'Jeeves' stories by P.G. Wodehouse.
  331.  
  332. 1SGT Gercog
  333. Gercog literally means 'Duke' in Russian, from the German 'Herzog'.
  334.  
  335. Maj. Bloodnok
  336. Hapless comedic character of the same name portrayed by Peter Sellers in 1950s-era radio comedy series, 'The Goon Show'.
  337.  
  338. The Shortcakes
  339. Strawberry Shortcake, titular character of 'Strawberry Shortcake'.
  340.  
  341. Nina Pogranichovna
  342. Nurse Nina from 'Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel'. 'Pogranichovna' is bastard Russian for 'daughter [-ovna] of the border [pogranich]'.
  343.  
  344.  
  345. ~~ Places, Organizations, & Objects ~~
  346.  
  347. Martingale-Locksteed
  348. Lockheed-Martin.
  349.  
  350. Sardinia Theatre
  351. Savoy Theatre, London. Famous for Gilbert & Sullivan's 'Savoy Operas' light comedies etc.
  352.  
  353. Gallop & Stallion
  354. Gilbert & Sullivan, Victorian-era light opera duo.
  355.  
  356. Bridle Path Clothiers, Poole Street
  357. Street is named for Henry Poole & Co, a famous bespoke menswear store in London.
  358.  
  359. Bitsmount
  360. Literal translation of 'Montsou' [penny mountain], the mine in Emile Zola's novel 'Germinal'.
  361.  
  362. The Stables, Thin Street, Pachyderm & Palace Circle
  363. The Ministry of Sound, London. Although the name itself isn't a direct reference, the actual night club is in Gaunt Street, (Gaunt=Thin, get it?) and is near Elephant & Castle, a road junction and area of London.
  364.  
  365. Newcastle-Upon-Mare
  366. Nogent-sure-Marne, the town with the closest French Foreign Legion fort to Paris.
  367.  
  368. Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's Regiment of Auxiliaries
  369. The name refers to Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry Regiment. In form, however, it is the French Foreign Legion.
  370.  
  371. Eliza's Efflorescences, Floral Street
  372. Eliza Doolitle is the main character of 'My Fair Lady', and is a flower-seller. At the beginning of the musical, she's selling them just outside the London Opera House. Floral Street is the actual name of a street behind the London Opera House.
  373.  
  374. Louis Valise
  375. Louis Vuitton Mailletier. Mailletier is literally French for 'luggage-maker', and 'valise' is French for a suitcase.
  376.  
  377. Hackney Trot
  378. Hackney Walk in East London, a retail outlet mall.
  379.  
  380. Fort Mifflin, Fillydelphia
  381. Fort Mifflin, Philadelphia
  382.  
  383. 186th Fillydelphia Volunteer Regiment
  384. 186th Pennsylvania Volunteer Regiment, actual US Civil War regiment HQ'd at Fort Mifflin.
  385.  
  386. Spa Dalecarlia
  387. Dalecarlia is a region in Sweden, famous for its red 'Dalecarlian Horse', a national icon.
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