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The Codpast Podcast #81: Encyclopedia of Fishes

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Jun 18th, 2020
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  1. This episode of the Codpast Podcast is entirely text based. Link to the Codpast Podcast is here: https://anchor.fm/jeff-legally
  2.  
  3. 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 #𝟖𝟏: 𝐄𝐧𝐜𝐲𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐢𝐬𝐡
  4.  
  5. Kerry the Clown: | Hey gang, it's me, Kerry the
  6. | Clown here with the first
  7. | ever text based
  8. | episode of the Codpast
  9. | We gotta be quiet though, we're
  10. | currently at the Library of
  11. | Alexandria and they don't take
  12. | too kindly to noise
  13. | I'm here with Cyborg Soup Carp
  14. |
  15. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Hey guys its me, texting Cyborg
  16. | Soup Carp
  17. | Why are we passing notes to each
  18. | other when we could just be
  19. | whispering
  20. |
  21. Cory Cod: | Whispering hurts my throat, I’m
  22. | a cod
  23. |
  24. Kerry the Clown: | Also joined with us, we got Cory
  25. | Cod
  26. |
  27. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Can cods even whisper
  28. |
  29. Cory Cod: | Hey it’s me Cory Cod, and cods
  30. | can indeed whisper it just hurts
  31. | our vocal cords
  32. |
  33. Kerry the Clown: | And last but not least, we got
  34. | Moby Dick
  35. |
  36. Moby Dick: | Hi
  37. |
  38. Kerry the Clown: | So guys, lets talk about fish
  39. |
  40. Cory Cod: | I got a fish question
  41. |
  42. Kerry the Clown: | Let's hear it
  43. |
  44. Cory Cod: | What is the biggest fish you
  45. | think could be inside a
  46. | human without them noticing
  47. |
  48. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Probably a shark
  49. |
  50. Kerry the Clown: | Probably the horn shark I put in
  51. | Carpy Carp
  52. |
  53. Cyborg Soup Carp: | No that doesnt count i know
  54. | about it
  55. |
  56. Kerry the Clown: | It's been there for 17 episodes
  57. |
  58. Horn Shark: | hey it’s me horn shark honk honk
  59. |
  60. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Thats why i answered a shark
  61. |
  62. Horn Shark: | Then why did you say they
  63. | wouldn’t notice
  64. |
  65. Kerry the Clown: | Horn shark, how was it being
  66. | inside Carpy Carp
  67. |
  68. Horn Shark: | The soup is delicious
  69. |
  70. Kerry the Clown: | I gotta be honest, these ancient
  71. | folk must be freaking out
  72. | watching a soup robot, a
  73. | sperm whale, a talking
  74. | Cod, and a clown in a library.
  75. | Moby Dick, how these people
  76. | treating you
  77. |
  78. Egyptian Man: | hey it’s me, Egyptian Man
  79. | watch me walk with both my arms
  80. | at 90 degree angles
  81. |
  82. Kerry the Clown: | Hey Egyptian Man, can you stop
  83. |
  84. Egyptian Man: | walking like an Egyptian yeah
  85. | yeah
  86. |
  87. Kerry the Clown: | You got any book recommendations
  88. | What books are you hyped for
  89. |
  90. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Pyramid book
  91. |
  92. Egyptian Man: | Yeah pyramid book is the main
  93. | one
  94. |
  95. Kerry the Clown: | I got this cool ass picture book
  96. | right here, unfortunately
  97. | I can't read
  98. |
  99. Egyptian Man: | oh I can read that for you
  100. |
  101. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Don't say ass dude were in the
  102. | Library of Alexandria
  103. |
  104. Egyptian Man: | Im good at getting meanings
  105. | out of pictures
  106. |
  107. Kerry the Clown: | Sorry man, we're just
  108. | passing notes
  109. |
  110. Librarian: | Shh
  111. |
  112. Kerry the Clown: | Egyptians can only read
  113. | pictures, they can't
  114. | read text
  115. |
  116. Egyptian Man: | it’s true
  117. | That’s why pyramid book is
  118. | so big right now
  119. | It’s just 40 pages of a pyramid
  120. | in VERY widescreen
  121. |
  122. Kerry the Clown: | Holy shit man
  123. |
  124. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Do you guys think we’ll ever see
  125. | a pyramid in real life
  126. |
  127. Kerry the Clown: | I don't think those exist
  128. | They only exist in the books
  129. |
  130. Cory Cod: | the pyramids are 179 kilometers
  131. | from here
  132. | it’s me cory cod
  133. |
  134. Kerry the Clown: | Is this true, egyptian man
  135. |
  136. Egyptian Man: | I just checked my phone
  137. | yeah it’s about 179 km
  138. | from here
  139. | it’s me egyptian man
  140. |
  141. Kerry the Clown: | How are you getting reception
  142. |
  143. Egyptian Man: | What did you think we built
  144. | those pyramids for
  145. |
  146. Kerry the Clown: | What's better, the book or the
  147. | structure
  148. | I'm talking about Pyramid Book,
  149. | of course
  150. |
  151. Egyptian Man: | I like the structure because I
  152. | can download the ebook on
  153. | my phone using the cellular
  154. | service from the structure
  155. |
  156. Librarian: | Shut the fuck up, this is
  157. | a library
  158. | !
  159. |
  160. Cory Cod: | We’re writing
  161. |
  162. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Mr. librarian why did you
  163. | pass us a note
  164. |
  165. Kerry the Clown: | Are we writing too loudly
  166. |
  167. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Arent you allowed to talk
  168. | This is your domain
  169. |
  170. Librarian: | 𝓦𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓲𝓿𝓮; 𝓲𝓽’𝓼 𝓺𝓾𝓲𝓮𝓽𝓮𝓻
  171. |
  172. Kerry the Clown: | write in lowercase, it's even
  173. | more quieter
  174. |
  175. Egyptian Man: | It’s me Egyptian man you can’t
  176. | write cursive in egyptian
  177. |
  178. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Yeah i just cant PICTURE that
  179. | Did you like that one
  180. | Egyptian Man
  181. |
  182. Ramses II: | Hey guys it's me,
  183. | Ramses the Second
  184. |
  185. Egyptian Man: | Yeah I liked that one cyborg
  186. | soup robot from the future
  187. | with swordfish
  188. |
  189. Ramses II: | I'm a mummy guys, someone
  190. | keeps writing on me though
  191. |
  192. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Why the fuck are you in
  193. | this library ramses
  194. |
  195. Ramses II: | I gotta get my newspaper
  196. |
  197. Cory Cod: | He’s become a book
  198. |
  199. Ramses II: | I love solving the
  200. | sudoku puzzles
  201. |
  202. Cory Cod: | Ramses sudoku hasn’t
  203. | been invented yet
  204. |
  205. Ramses II: | Unfortunately the
  206. | crossword puzzles
  207. | are super easy
  208. |
  209. Cyborg Soup Carp: | I would think that
  210. | as a mummy you'd read
  211. | the obituaries.
  212. | Make you feel less alone
  213. |
  214. Ramses II: | I'm reading them and
  215. | they make me sad.
  216. | That's why I read
  217. | Pyramid Book instead
  218. |
  219. Cory Cod: | I have a question Ramses
  220. |
  221. Ramses II: | Yea what's your question,
  222. | fish
  223. |
  224. Cory Cod: | Ramses if you could be
  225. | mummified with any fish
  226. | under your wraps, which
  227. | fish would you have
  228. | mummified with you
  229. |
  230. Ramses II: | There are multiple
  231. | types of fish?
  232. | Fish is bad luck
  233. | in my culture
  234. |
  235. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Ramses i have bad news
  236. | This is a fish podcast
  237. |
  238. Ramses II: | In my culture, you guys
  239. | would be cursed to years
  240. | of bad luck
  241. |
  242. Cory Cod: | Ramses II just can’t believe
  243. | there’s so many fish in Egypt,
  244. | he’s still in De Nile
  245. |
  246. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Well nothing bad has ever
  247. | happened to anyone on the
  248. | codpast so i guess your
  249. | culture sucks
  250. |
  251. Cory Cod: | You did get turned into
  252. | soup wrongfully
  253. |
  254. Ramses II: | Speaking of the Nile,
  255. | there's this fish at the
  256. | end of the river who
  257. | eats everyone
  258. |
  259. Moby Dick: | Ramses II, why are you
  260. | so tall?
  261. |
  262. Ramses II: | That's because the creators
  263. | of this conversation needed
  264. | to put emphasis on me
  265. |
  266. End of the Nile | hey it’s me end of the
  267. Fish: | Nile fish
  268. |
  269. Ramses II: | Hey Nile fish
  270. |
  271. End of the Nile | Hey it’s me Nile fish
  272. Fish: | and I have a question
  273. | for everyone
  274. |
  275. Ramses II: | Yea what is it Nile fish
  276. |
  277. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Is Nile fish different
  278. | than end of Nile fish?
  279. |
  280. End of the Nile | No that’s just my nickname
  281. Fish: |
  282. Ramses II: | They're both the same fish,
  283. | the Nile fish is just
  284. | really long
  285. |
  286. Moby Dick: | I can’t get over how
  287. | tall Ramses II is
  288. |
  289. Ramses II: | My color also contrasts
  290. | heavily with the library,
  291. | it's super weird man
  292. |
  293. Moby Dick: | Are all pharaohs super
  294. | tall irl?
  295. |
  296. Ramses II: | Hey giant fish creature,
  297. | why are you grabbing me.
  298. | White fish creature,
  299. | stop putting me in
  300. | your butt
  301. |
  302. End of the Nile | oh yeah, my question:
  303. Fish: | if you went to the end of
  304. | the Nile and you were
  305. | to be eaten by me,
  306. | end of the Nile fish,
  307. | how would you like to
  308. | be prepared (eg boiled,
  309. | grilled, au gratin or
  310. | a la mode)
  311. | when I eat you at the
  312. | end of the Nile
  313. |
  314. Ramses II: | Probably dried up
  315. |
  316. End of the Nile | Are you Ramses II
  317. Fish: |
  318. Ramses II: | Yea it's me,
  319. | Ramses II
  320. |
  321. End of the Nile | ho ho ho it’s
  322. Fish: | Ramses II
  323. |
  324. Kerry the Clown: | Hey guys it's me
  325. | Kerry the Clown, I
  326. | just got this note
  327. | from my man, Jules.
  328. | I think he's lost or
  329. | something, we gotta
  330. | give him some directions
  331. |
  332. Jules: | hey it’s me Jules
  333. | I have a quick question
  334. |
  335. Kerry the Clown: | Yea what is it
  336. |
  337. Jules: | Can you direct me to
  338. | the library of Alexandria
  339. |
  340. Kerry the Clown: | Yea, you take a left
  341. |
  342. Jules: | oh okay, I’m off then
  343. | to do nothing of
  344. | historical importance
  345. |
  346. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Wait kerry that
  347. | mightve been a mistake
  348. | I think that guy
  349. | gets stabbed
  350. |
  351. Akhenetan: | Hey guys it's me
  352. | Akhenetan,
  353. | my head is super big
  354. |
  355. Aten: | It’s me Aten
  356. |
  357. Egyptian Man: | Hi Akhenetan my
  358. | name is egyptian man
  359. |
  360. Aten: | Fetch me a book,
  361. | humble servant
  362. |
  363. Akhenetan: | I'm a mummy by the way.
  364. | Here is this book,
  365. | it's called Pyramid Book
  366. |
  367. Egyptian Man: | I, egyptian man,
  368. | highly recommend
  369. | pyramid book
  370. |
  371. Cyborg Soup Carp: | What is it about
  372. |
  373. Akhenetan: | I have to go now,
  374. | the hierarchy of scale
  375. | is messing up.
  376. | I'm being abducted
  377. | by aliens now
  378. |
  379. Egyptian Man: | Bye Akhenaten
  380. |
  381. Femur Breaker: | *Femur breaking noise*
  382. |
  383. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Wait A-man you didn't
  384. | tell me what pyramid
  385. | book is about
  386. |
  387. Aten: | I will go try to save
  388. | my servant from
  389. | the aliens
  390. |
  391. Ramses II: | Hey guys it's Ramses II,
  392. | half my body is inside a
  393. | giant white fish-like
  394. | creature.
  395. | My papyrus is of
  396. | a darker color now
  397. |
  398. End of the Nile | ho ho ho
  399. Fish: |
  400. Kerry the Clown: | Hey guys I'm reading this
  401. | instruction book I found
  402. | in the library, does anyone
  403. | have any lime?
  404. |
  405. End of the Nile | no but I can probably
  406. Fish: | borrow some from the study
  407. |
  408. Kerry the Clown: | Thanks Nile Fish
  409. |
  410. End of the Nile | no problem
  411. Fish: |
  412. Cyborg Soup Carp: | No i dropped my limes,
  413. | ill pick up lime for you
  414. |
  415. Ramses II: | *Exits butthole*
  416. |
  417. Cory Cod: | cyborg soup carp that was
  418. | a garbage tier joke and
  419. | you should feel worse
  420. | because you had the time
  421. | when writing it
  422. | to stop yourself and
  423. | yet you didnt
  424. |
  425. Archimedes: | Yo yo yo, it's me,
  426. | Archimedes
  427. |
  428. Moby Dick: | Ramses II why are you
  429. | always face sideways
  430. | from your body?
  431. |
  432. Archimedes: | Check out my new invention
  433. |
  434. Cory Cod: | hey it’s me Cory Cod
  435. | can I ride up the screw
  436. |
  437. Archimedes: | Yea sure
  438. |
  439. Cory Cod: | wahoo
  440. | I’m dizzy now
  441. |
  442. Archimedes: | Guys, check out this
  443. | parabola.
  444. | I bet you guys can't find
  445. | the area under it hehehe
  446. |
  447. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Parabola?
  448. | Sounds like what mario
  449. | would say if he found
  450. | 2 bowls
  451. |
  452. Archimedes: | Who is Mario
  453. |
  454. Cory Cod: | why would he say para
  455. |
  456. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Pair a’
  457. |
  458. Cory Cod: | Goddamnit
  459. | pair a bowl a
  460. |
  461. Archimedes: | Who the fuck is Mario
  462. |
  463. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Mario is an italian plumber
  464. |
  465. Mario: | Wahoo it’s me Mario I’m
  466. | still alive
  467. |
  468. Moby Dick: | Ex carpenter
  469. |
  470. Archimedes: | Hi mario
  471. |
  472. Mario: | I haven’t been killed
  473. | intergalactically yet.
  474. | I sure hope that
  475. | never happens
  476. |
  477. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Mario why would the
  478. | intergalactic government
  479. | attack you
  480. |
  481. Mario: | It’s-a me, Mario!
  482. |
  483. Pokey: | Hey it's me, Pokey,
  484. | that Mario enemy that
  485. | is just a bunch of balls
  486. | stacked on top of
  487. | each other
  488. |
  489. Cyborg Soup Carp: | I hate you so much pokey.
  490. | How are you even
  491. | passing notes you're
  492. | a wannabe caterpillar
  493. |
  494. Mario: | Pokey I’m gonna punch
  495. | your balls out
  496. |
  497. Pokey: | No don't do that
  498. |
  499. Mario's Fist: | *PUNCH*
  500. |
  501. Kerry the Clown: | Hey guys it's me
  502. | Kerry the Clown and
  503. | Pokey is dead
  504. |
  505. Moby Dick: | *trips over balls*
  506. |
  507. Mario: | no he’s not I just
  508. | got one out of his
  509. | five segments.
  510. | you have to punch
  511. | them one at a time
  512. |
  513. Cyborg Soup Carp: | How did his punch make
  514. | the sound “punch”
  515. | Punch isn't onomatopoeia
  516. |
  517. Kerry the Clown: | He couldn't make the
  518. | sound, he had to pass
  519. | a note that said it.
  520. | We're in a library
  521. | remember
  522. |
  523. Mario: | he still has four
  524. | segments left
  525. |
  526. Pokey: | Hey it's me Pokey,
  527. | ouch!
  528. | I thought I would
  529. | trick you guys!
  530. |
  531. Mario: | Back-a for more, eh?
  532. |
  533. Mario's Fist: | *PUNCH*
  534. |
  535. Mario: | 3 to go
  536. |
  537. Pokey: | stop it
  538. |
  539. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Are we really gonna
  540. | do this 3 times
  541. |
  542. Mario: | no, it’ll be five times
  543. | total but three more
  544. | times from here
  545. |
  546. Mario's Fist: | *PUNCH*
  547. |
  548. Pokey: | ow
  549. |
  550. Mario's Fist: | *PUNCH*
  551. |
  552. Pokey: | oof owie
  553. | this is my last ball.
  554. | if you punch me i
  555. | die for real!
  556. |
  557. Mario: | promise-a to leave her
  558. | and never come back
  559. | and I will leave
  560. | you be
  561. |
  562. Pokey: | ok
  563. |
  564. Mario's Fist: | *PUNCH-A*
  565. |
  566. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Isnt that a war crime,
  567. | he surrendered
  568. |
  569. Mario: | that is an example of
  570. | why intergalactic
  571. | police may have a
  572. | bone to pick with me
  573. |
  574. Ramses II: | Hey guys it's me
  575. | Ramses II and
  576. | Pokey is dead
  577. |
  578. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Ramses II died?
  579. |
  580. Ramses II: | I am not dead,
  581. | we have no
  582. | punctuation in my land
  583. |
  584. Cyborg Soup Carp: | You just used a comma
  585. | Ramses II
  586. |
  587. Cory Cod: | yeah that scans
  588. |
  589. Ramses II: | *You just used a
  590. | comma, Ramses II
  591. |
  592. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Youre right im sorry
  593. |
  594. Moby Dick: | * *You just used
  595. | a comma, Ramses II.
  596. |
  597. Cory Cod: | hey it’s me,
  598. | Cory cod and I
  599. | have something to say
  600. |
  601. Ramses II: | Yea what is it fish
  602. |
  603. Cory Cod: | PENIS COCK
  604. |
  605. Cyborg Soup Carp: | No moby dick i dont
  606. | have periods im a
  607. | male soup robot
  608. |
  609. Ramses II: | I must leave now,
  610. | I am being abducted
  611. | by aliens
  612. |
  613. Cory Cod: | Bye Ramses II
  614. |
  615. Cyborg Soup Carp: | But i thought the
  616. | hierarchy of scale
  617. | was balanced with
  618. | just ramses II
  619. |
  620. Cory Cod: | I feel like moby dick’s
  621. | size and power make
  622. | it still work
  623. |
  624. Kerry the Clown: | It's me Kerry the
  625. | Clown, bye Ramses II
  626. |
  627. Femur Breaker: | *Femur breaking noise*
  628. |
  629. Cyborg Soup Carp: | What still works
  630. | What is the it
  631. |
  632. Cory Cod: | He’s big and politically
  633. | powerful to boot, the
  634. | hierarchy of scale stands
  635. |
  636. Moby Dick: | I’m big
  637. |
  638. Kerry the Clown: | Yo, my man Jules sent
  639. | me a message
  640. |
  641. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Big chungus
  642. |
  643. Cory Cod: | Was Big Chungus
  644. | the message
  645. |
  646. Archimedes: | I am Archimedes,
  647. | and that is
  648. | smart af!
  649. |
  650. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Archimedes made
  651. | the abacus
  652. |
  653. Cory Cod: | Very good,
  654. | cyborg soup carp!
  655. | Archimedes did make
  656. | the abacus!
  657. |
  658. Kerry the Clown: | Hey guys it's me Kerry
  659. | the Clown and no!
  660. | Big Chungus was not
  661. | the message Jules
  662. | sent me!
  663. |
  664. Cory Cod: | What message did Jules
  665. | send you, if not
  666. | Big Chungus
  667. |
  668. Cyborg Soup Carp: | What could be
  669. | more important
  670. |
  671. Kerry the Clown: | He said he'd be
  672. | here soon!
  673. | He's near the jungle!
  674. |
  675. Cory Cod: | How did he get that
  676. | note to you
  677. |
  678. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Why is there a jungle
  679. | near the library
  680. | of alexandria
  681. |
  682. Moby Dick: | Where can I buy
  683. | an abacus?
  684. | Amazon?
  685. |
  686. Kerry the Clown: | Does anyone have any
  687. | pine resin?
  688. |
  689. Moby Dick: | I have resin
  690. |
  691. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Yeah but its
  692. | mine resin
  693. |
  694. Moby Dick: | no it’s mine
  695. | Hands off, bitch
  696. |
  697. Kerry the Clown: | There's no I in
  698. | pine resin, Carpy!
  699. |
  700. Mario: | Its-a me, Mario!
  701. | I have assorted
  702. | resins in my
  703. | overalls!
  704. | You said you needed
  705. | pine resin?
  706. |
  707. Kerry the Clown: | Yea I need some pine
  708. | resin, it's detailed
  709. | in my instruction
  710. | book!
  711. |
  712. Mario: | Here’s a warm handful
  713. |
  714. Moby Dick: | Is that poop?
  715. |
  716. Kerry the Clown: | This...
  717. | this isn't resin.
  718. |
  719. Archimedes: | Hey guys, it's me
  720. | Archimedes.
  721. | Mario poop-a
  722. | his pants!
  723. |
  724. Mario: | oh no the pine resin
  725. | was too brown and
  726. | sticky it’s glued my
  727. | hand to Kerry’s hand
  728. |
  729. Kerry the Clown: | It's me Kerry,
  730. | aren't you wearing gloves,
  731. | Mario.
  732. | I am also wearing gloves
  733. |
  734. Mario: | I don’t see how
  735. | that’s relevant
  736. |
  737. Moby Dick: | I heard pee is a
  738. | great solvent.
  739. | Can someone call
  740. | R Kelly?
  741. |
  742. Archimedes: | It's me Archimedes!
  743. | Pee pee, poo poo!
  744. | Like they say in
  745. | the Odyssey!
  746. |
  747. Mario: | I have a urine belt
  748. | what flavor do
  749. | you want
  750. |
  751. Kerry the Clown: | Archimedes, please leave.
  752. |
  753. Archimedes: | It's me Archimedes!
  754. | I gotta get abducted
  755. | by aliens now!
  756. |
  757. Cory Cod: | Bye Archimedes
  758. |
  759. Tibia Breaker: | *tibia breaking noise*
  760. |
  761. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Wait archimedes you
  762. | invented the abacus
  763. |
  764. Kerry the Clown: | That's right
  765. | Carpy Carp!
  766. |
  767. Cory Cod: | wow that sounded nearlyl
  768. | as mechanical as the
  769. | femur breaker but
  770. | notably less painful.
  771. | why do you guys think
  772. | he got a less severe
  773. | punishment
  774. |
  775. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Probably because he
  776. | invented something
  777. | but i cant remember
  778. | what
  779. |
  780. Cory Cod: | actually I have a
  781. | fish question
  782. | related to that.
  783. | how many generic fish
  784. | do you think represent
  785. | the difference in pain
  786. | between getting your
  787. | tibias broken and
  788. | getting your
  789. | femurs broken
  790. |
  791. Moby Dick: | 5
  792. |
  793. Cory Cod: | to clarify, how many
  794. | generic fish would you
  795. | have to receive to choose
  796. | getting your femurs
  797. | broken over getting your
  798. | tibias broken, but if
  799. | you get your tibias
  800. | broken you don’t
  801. | get any generic fish
  802. |
  803. Moby Dick: | 6
  804. |
  805. Cory Cod: | explain why
  806. |
  807. Moby Dick: | It’s one more than 5
  808. |
  809. Cory Cod: | wait moby dick do
  810. | you even have
  811. | either of those
  812. | bones
  813. |
  814. Cyborg Soup Carp: | What if i just got
  815. | neither broken.
  816. | What if i dodged.
  817. | Would i still get
  818. | generic fish
  819. |
  820. Moby Dick: | That’s not the
  821. | fucking question
  822. |
  823. Cory Cod: | that is not an option
  824. | you’re already strapped
  825. | into the leg bone
  826. | breaker they just have
  827. | to choose which setting
  828. | to turn the dial to
  829. |
  830. Kerry the Clown: | My man Jules is
  831. | coming in 5
  832. | minutes! I'm gonna
  833. | get all the
  834. | soldiers of thee
  835. | library to help me
  836. | plan a surprise
  837. | greeting!
  838. |
  839. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Oh then id say 3
  840. |
  841. Cory Cod: | Explain why
  842. |
  843. Cyborg Soup Carp: | One for security,
  844. | one for food, and
  845. | one for beaconing
  846. |
  847. Kerry the Clown: | Are you guys fucking insane?
  848. | It would only take
  849. | three fish to make
  850. | you switch to the femur?
  851. | What the hell????
  852. |
  853. Cory Cod: | Yeah what would
  854. | you need more
  855. | than three fish for
  856. |
  857. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Well maybe if
  858. | i had security
  859. | food and beaconing
  860. |
  861. Moby Dick: | I said 6
  862. |
  863. Cory Cod: | Moby dick is big
  864. | so he needs two
  865. | fish for food,
  866. | two fish for beaconing,
  867. | and two fish
  868. | for security
  869. |
  870. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Why does moby dick
  871. | need security.
  872. | Hes moby dick
  873. |
  874. Moby Dick: | I’m not that big, bro
  875. | I’ll take 2 fish
  876. | How about that
  877. |
  878. Cory Cod: | not normally but
  879. | the hierarchy of
  880. | scale makes you immense
  881. |
  882. Kerry the Clown: | Guys!
  883. | I'm almost done
  884. | with my recipe!
  885. | Not sure if I did
  886. | it well since the
  887. | instruction book is in
  888. | a different language
  889. | but all I need is
  890. | some calcium phosphide!
  891. |
  892. Mario: | It’s-a me, Mario!
  893. | I have some
  894. | calcium phosphide
  895. |
  896. Kerry the Clown: | Thank you Mario!
  897. |
  898. Mario: | No problem!
  899. |
  900. Kerry the Clown: | Guys, Jules is here!
  901. | I gotta light the
  902. | fireworks!
  903. |
  904. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Wait a minute
  905. | what is this
  906. | recipe for.
  907. | Didnt something bad
  908. | happen to the
  909. | library of Alexandria,
  910. | like a flood
  911. | or something.
  912. | Are you making water
  913. |
  914. Kerry the Clown: | I don't know!
  915. | The other pages
  916. | are on fire!
  917. |
  918. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Well maybe the
  919. | flood will put
  920. | out the fire
  921. |
  922. Mario: | This recipe is how
  923. | I make fire flowers
  924. |
  925. Kerry the Clown: | Jules don't come
  926. | in now!
  927. | The library is on fire!
  928. |
  929. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Its okay he gets
  930. | stabbed anyways
  931. |
  932. Moby Dick: | I’ll try to blow
  933. | out the flame
  934. |
  935. Fire: | *Spreads*
  936. |
  937. Cory Cod: | the notes are burning
  938. | up too fast he won’t
  939. | be able to read them
  940. |
  941. Kerry the Clown: | What do you mean?
  942. | Jules doesn't get
  943. | stabbed?
  944. | Is he famous or something?
  945. |
  946. Cyborg Soup Carp: | My bad i was thinking
  947. | of lincoln again
  948. |
  949. Cory Cod: | yeah I understand
  950. |
  951. Kerry the Clown: | Oh shit!
  952. | Now I'm thinking
  953. | of Lincoln!
  954. |
  955. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Why is that an
  956. | oh shit moment.
  957. | Its just lincoln
  958. |
  959. Cory Cod: | Lincoln will be
  960. | on the penny
  961. |
  962. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Bazinga
  963. |
  964. Jules: | Hey guys it's me Jules!
  965. | Thanks for the tip!
  966. |
  967. Moby Dick: | Fourscore and seven years
  968. | ago our fathers brought
  969. | forth, on this continent,
  970. | a new nation, conceived in
  971. | liberty, and dedicated
  972. | to the proposition that
  973. | all men are created
  974. | equal. Now we are
  975. | engaged in a great
  976. | civil war, testing
  977. | whether that nation, or
  978. | any nation so conceived,
  979. | and so dedicated,
  980. | can long endure.
  981. | We are met on a great
  982. | battle-field of that war.
  983. | We have come to dedicate
  984. | a portion of that field,
  985. | as a final resting-place
  986. | for those who here gave
  987. | their lives, that that
  988. | nation might live.
  989. | It is altogether fitting
  990. | and proper that we
  991. | should do this. But, in
  992. | a larger sense, we
  993. | cannot dedicate, we
  994. | cannot consecrate—we
  995. | cannot hallow—this ground.
  996. | The brave men, living
  997. | and dead, who struggled
  998. | here, have consecrated it
  999. | far above our poor power
  1000. | to add or detract.
  1001. | The world will little note,
  1002. | nor long remember what we
  1003. | say here, but it can never
  1004. | forget what they
  1005. | did here. It is for
  1006. | us the living, rather,
  1007. | to be dedicated here
  1008. | to the unfinished work
  1009. | which they who fought here
  1010. | have thus far so nobly
  1011. | advanced. It is rather for
  1012. | us to be here dedicated
  1013. | to the great task
  1014. | remaining before us—that
  1015. | from these honored dead
  1016. | we take increased devotion
  1017. | to that cause for which
  1018. | they here gave the last
  1019. | full measure of devotion—that
  1020. | we here highly resolve
  1021. | that these dead shall
  1022. | not have died in
  1023. | vain—that this nation,
  1024. | under God,
  1025. | shall have a new birth
  1026. | of freedom,
  1027. | and that government of the
  1028. | people, by the people,
  1029. | for the people, shall
  1030. | not perish from the earth.
  1031. |
  1032. | You got me doing it too
  1033. |
  1034. Egyptian Man: | Oh no the pyramid book
  1035. | section is on fire,
  1036. | that’s me (egyptian man)
  1037. | favorite book
  1038. |
  1039. Moby Dick: | Lincoln was my best student
  1040. |
  1041. Jules: | Well I think we're
  1042. | good here, men!
  1043. | I gotta thank you Kerry!
  1044. |
  1045. Cyborg Soup Carp: | Man that sure looks
  1046. | like an important
  1047. | speech moby dick,
  1048. | too bad the fire got it
  1049. |
  1050. Kerry the Clown: | Guys there are people
  1051. | opening their mouths
  1052. | upstairs and they
  1053. | seem really scared!
  1054. | They don't seem to
  1055. | be making any noise
  1056. | though
  1057. |
  1058. Cyborg Soup Carp: | They're probably going
  1059. | “oooooo”
  1060. |
  1061. Kerry the Clown: | They're just passing
  1062. | notes that say
  1063. | "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
  1064. |
  1065. Cory Cod: | I’m just happy I
  1066. | don’t have to write
  1067. | anymore the way I
  1068. | have to keep my arms
  1069. | means that I literally
  1070. | cannot look at paper
  1071. | when I write on it
  1072. |
  1073. Mario: | Man those columns
  1074. | are turning into
  1075. | columns of fire
  1076. |
  1077. Kerry the Clown: | Oh no, there are
  1078. | spinning bits of fire!
  1079. |
  1080. Mario: | Mamma mia,
  1081. | that’s a spicy
  1082. | library-a!
  1083. |
  1084.  
  1085. Fin.
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