ravensky rant final

The Ravensky Family are Bad Characters and Here’s Why – Part 1

WARNING – LOTS AND LOTS OF TL;DR AHEAD. READ ONLY IF YOU HAVE HALF AN HOUR AND A DRINK ON YOUR HANDS.

You were probably expecting more space adventures involving dong ships and stupid pirates. Well no. I want to tackle something that has been bugging me for some time about last year’s roleplay. In fact, it’s one of the biggest shortcomings of the whole year, alongside the Post-Brawl Plot Pileup. If you have been paying any attention to this blog, or this title, you will know what I’m going to say.

The Ravensky family are AWFUL characters.

I’m not just saying this. I’m not a professional writer. I’m a dude who roleplays on the internet for fun. But even with that said, there are so many things wrong with the Ravensky family that it makes me angry and upset. They were a dominating, overpowering presence last year, beaten only by the persistence of the Lord. They tick so many of the wrong boxes that it starts to look like a checklist of How Not to Do it. And I’m going to explain why.

To  the author and creator of the Ravenskies, I know you’re reading this. I am not doing this to insult you personally. If you are, and are upset or think I don’t “get” these characters, that’s your problem. I’m here to explain why these are bad characters, not to say you’re a poopyhead and you should stop roleplaying. There will be no swearing or rants. This will be me being as honest and critical as possible. If you have a problem with me doing this, tough.

Let’s start with the first time we see them. For those who didn’t pay attention, Sine was presumed kidnapped by the Lord, and a few brave souls set out trawling a set of potential areas to find her. We meet the Ravenskies at the second journey, not having learned a great deal from the first time. We have no idea what to expect this time. So let’s take things at face value.

We see Christopher’s wife and their two daughters on the porch of their house, feeding the baby daughter. Right off the bat, we are told that “The universal translator is confused. It's uncertain if it's a foreign language or just a unique accent it can't nail down.” Alongside this, in response to a comment from Pech, we are told that the mother “could easily pass for a 'cougar'.” So our first impressions are…well, not favourable, but not bad either. It’s not a crime for a female character to be attractive, and the unknown language is an interesting factor. On its own, this could be an interesting premise – the team try and negotiate with a woman who would be intimidated by the group, but neither can understand the other. It would be an exercise in creating trust and might test the two Space Marines, who need to look as harmless as possible.

However, we are soon quickly told “This woman wasn't just a high grade psyker. She was a warrior to the core.” The problem with this is that we are TOLD this. The only indication in the writing and description is her head snapping round the moment Antoinette shows herself, and Erebus apparently seeing it in her body language. But she doesn’t do anything a warrior would do. We are told she is tense – she doesn’t tense up herself, or start to scan the surroundings or do anything a warrior might do. Pech doesn’t sense anything about her psyker powers – we are just told she is a psyker. This is a failure of “Show, Not Tell.” (http://www.floggingthequill.com/flogging_the_quill/2006/week6/index.html)

The post goes on like this for some time in the same vein, with the author telling us about a whole “mother bear” aspect. He doesn’t use similes or metaphors or creative writing to make this more interesting – we are just flat out told. This isn’t good story-telling. It’s boring and stilted and doesn’t engage the reader. More creative writers would have shown the woman moving slowly, scanning the treeline, calling out, maybe drawing a weapon. Instead, Erebus, Pech, Zephyrus and Oceanus are instantly detected. And then the following happens.

“And even Erebus didn't see where she got the dagger. He just felt it when the woman slashed out her arm, and the weapon, blazing with dark energies, flew across the lawn directly over Antoinette's head so fast that neither Astartes senses nor robot tracking computers could detect it and impacted into his armor so hard that he flew backwards through the shattered remains of a tree.”

Let’s clarify a few things here. Erebus is one of the strongest physical combatants in the bar. The strongest overall is Jaxx Tantra, who rarely fights at all unless pushed. The fact that this woman is faster than him, controls “dark energies” and is strong enough to throw Erebus back with a throwing knife should raise a few eyebrows. In the space of a few seconds, the woman detects the two Space Marines and hurls an attack so strong it flings back a multi-ton post human backwards into a tree. The worst part of it is that the attack strikes with no chance of Erebus dodging, making a move to reduce the damage of the attack or otherwise – he is instantly hit. This is Bad Roleplaying – not allowing players to respond to your character’s actions is rude and irritating.

Things get worse. The woman “blurs across the lawn and kicks Air Man so hard he nearly breaks the sound barrier before he flies into another tree.” Even considering the fact that she has powers, this stretches credibility and suspension of disbelief. No human can exert that much force, and since our description of the woman does not appear to be strong enough to do this, or appear to be enhanced in some way, this scene does not seem realistic. This also continues into the next few posts – the author outright God-mods the situation so that the characaters involved cannot respond to the woman’s attacks, and that all of the woman’s attacks are immensely strong and successful. This only ends when the woman breaks her leg after kicking Pech.

Let’s get some reference so I’m not just hurling terms out into the open. Urban Dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=god%20modding) defines God Modding as “when someone’s character has the ability to do practically anything without limits or boundaries. An example is when they simply cannot be harmed by any and all means other RP-ers try.” It goes on to give an example:

“Player A: Punches Player B
Player B: Dodges attack, grabs Player A and throws him. Player A flies at Player B, who warps behind him and slashes Player A in the back.”

The series of events we have been shown fills this example to a tee. The roleplayers involved have had no chance to respond to the author character’s actions or attacks, and in return the author has had his characters ignore, dodge or block every single attack or attempt at an attack the players have made. This is bad roleplay. If the author were better, they would have allowed attacks to hit and given them opportunities to dodge the attacks. But this has not been the case, and I can only assume how frustrating it is for the players involved in the scenario when their attempts to do anything are blocked.

At this point, the woman is incapacitated and on the floor. This is the only time the characters make an attack on her – Erebus stomps on her broken leg, hoping to drive her into shock. The woman “put(s) her hands together and fire a black energy bolt that nearly fried all the flesh right off Erebus' exposed head. As he staggered back, the woman literally ignored her broken leg and stood up.” She then proceeds to continue to attack Erebus.

Our suspension of disbelief is destroyed now. No-one can stand on a broken leg. This medical website (http://www.emedicinehealth.com/broken_leg/) tells us “Pain caused by a broken bone is typically severe. Holding the bone still will decrease pain. Movement of the broken bone will increase pain.” So the woman should be in massive pain from the broken leg. There are also issues with the leg deforming, including shortening, twisting and angulation. So there is no possible way that this woman can possibly stand up – not only is she in agony, but she also has no platform on which to balance or perform her acrobatic attacks.

And what of her powers? Let’s compare the Space Marines first. Erebus and Pech, according to Lexicanum (http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Creation_of_a_Space_Marine), have a huge variety of abilities that make them seem incredibly strong. They have a secondary heart. They can eat the dead to gain their memories and experiences. They can “enter a state of suspended animation, consciously or as an automatic reaction to extreme trauma, keeping the Marine alive for years.” They are very powerful physical combatants, and that doesn’t even factor in Pech’s psyker abilities, (http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Imperial_Psychic_Powers#.T0BJnvm0O9o) which include precognition and shooting lightning from his fingertips. Whilst I know that, so far, the marines have been roleplayed true to canon, let us assume we do not have this prior knowledge. All we know is that they are incredibly powerful. When what appears to be a simple human woman is kicking them hard enough to cause sonic booms and hurling them around with ease, we have an issue with belief again. The woman wasn’t described in a manner that made it obvious she was this strong, and thus this one-sided fight isn’t believable. In a better-written fight with more care and attention, the woman’s ability to fight would have ended the moment her leg broke.

Now Erebus gets a chance to retaliate, stabbing the woman enough times to finally incapacitate her. The moment this happens, however, an even STRONGER power is detected. “The woman had intense power, but the power coming their way was INSANE. And it was PISSED.” This isn’t credible anymore. We have had this woman ignore crippling wounds and hurl massive, incredibly strong warriors with ease. Anything even STRONGER than that isn’t remotely believable. In addition, wolves suddenly “barraged Erebus with lightning and fire so intense even he felt it.” This attack is not only as sudden as the first, but it also feels incredibly forced. At this point, the characters have attempted multiple times to surrender:

“Please, miss, do not attack us. We mean you no harm. We merely had a few questions to ask you, that's all.”

“FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! WE SURRENDER! WE DON'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU! NO MORE VIOLENCE! WE DON'T MEAN ANY HARM, THIS IS ALL A BIG MISUNDERSTANDING, NOW CAN WE CUT THE CRAZINESS AND JUST HAVE A DAMN TALK?”

“"God-Emperor curse you, you imbecile, we DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT YOU!"”

The fact that the author is dragging out of the conflict for this long is tiring. The reader is likely getting bored with the endless violence and wants a resolution to the conflict. This also shows the author is ignoring the pleas to surrender in order to draw the fight out for much longer. This is a form of Railroading (http://rpgtalk.wikia.com/wiki/Railroading) – the players do not have the choice to surrender or back out of the fight. They are going to lose, no matter what.
At the point when the characters are unanimously willing to talk out the situation, the author introduces Christopher Ravensky. He does this in a long description of said character, making special note of “the scar on his face,” his height and augments that “spoke of treatments beyond human means,” and the “pure white, impossibly white” sword in his hand. Ravensky proceeds to, in a incredibly short space of time, dominate the player characters, cutting through the Marine’s armour with ease, creating another sword of “destruction distilled” with sheer willpower and, once again, god-moding and railroading his way through the plot without giving the players any meaningful input on the event.

For the more savvy readers, two words come to mind.

Mary Sue.

Some balk at this description, and it’s true. It can stifle creativity, prevent authors from writing female characters in any medium, and in fact can be used as a sexist tool. I do not mean to use them in this regard and I apologies if I invoke these problems as I explain. But Christopher Ravensky, and indeed his wife, are Mary Sues, and I will prove it.

As much as I loathe linking to TV Tropes, we are going to do a comparison of the Ravenskies and their traits, as we know them so far, against (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CommonMarySueTraits) this list of traits commonly associated with Mary Sues, picking out the most relevant ones.

“What personality? In these cases, it's fairly blatant the author is just writing the character for amazing stuff to happen to instead of a character that actually exists as a person. Obviously, this is only a Mary Sue trait if what happens gives the character special powers, fantastic romances, or somehow lets her be a big damned heroine; otherwise it's just another faceless first-person perspective.”

Not quite applicable – we have NO idea about the personality of the Ravensky family at all because the writing of the scenes has not giving us insight into their thoughts and feelings. It has all been mindless combat, nothing more. Bad writing, yes, but not applicable.

“Inexplicable and/or poorly defined abilities in general, especially if they play no factor in the plot after their introduction (not even as a Required Secondary Power) and are only there to make the character seem even more awesome.”

A clear-cut case. Both characters have insane martial arts skills, have vague powers with no real detail given to them and do not appear to have an upper limit. The woman shows a single limit in that she is eventually incapacitated, but not before ignoring a broken leg and causing insane amounts of damage to the Marines. Christopher has exhibited no such limits yet.

“Regardless of what skill level the canon characters have established, she might just simply be better than them, often in ways that do not make sense.”

Obvious. They have easily defeated two incredibly skilled and strong fighters in the blink of an eye.

“Just random magical powers, such as telepathy in a universe where it's never even been mentioned.”

Whilst magic exists in the Zoofights setting, the fact that there is no apparent limit on what the Ravensky family can do makes the reader confused as to what their powers are.

“Exotic weaponry in a setting where she shouldn't have access to such. Usually, the question of why the law enforcement allows her to carry it doesn't come up and nobody seems to find a girl carrying a large sword intimidating. Bonus points if there is no explanation for where she keeps it.”

Not quite. The Ravenskies have clearly ill-defined powers, although it is stated that Erebus doesn’t see where the wife character gets her daggers from. The swords Christopher uses, however, falls more under the “inexplicable and ill-defined” powers section.

“Mary Sue is always on the Spotlight-Stealing Squad. Without her, there would not be a story.”

Well, they certainly have the spotlight now. Not a true matchup if we’re being totally 100% accurate, but this does feel to be more like a showcase of their sheer power than an honest, interactive event.

“Her name is sometimes a gemstone, a flower, celestial bodies, (i.e. Luna, Stella, Celeste) or a pretty color (e.g. Violet, Sapphire). With Emo-Sues, her name is something spooky, mystical, or related to darkness (e.g. Raven, Trinity). Of particular note, Serenity seems to be a cliché often finding its way into parodies.”

Ravensky. Raven. Sky. Fairly obvious.

“A massive amount of time gets spent on describing her every feature in her introduction. Obviously, most canon characters are already well-defined to the reader whereas the new character needs an adequate description, but if it spends paragraphs, continues cropping up throughout the story, and includes detailed appendices on every little detail, just abandon all hope.”

The woman doesn’t fall into this trope – her appearance was described organically as the players scouted out the hazards. Christopher Ravensky, however, gets a fair amount of time spent describing his appearance. This is more forgivable, considering he appears very suddenly and requires a description very quickly.

I cannot use any of the author-based points on that list, because for the purposes of this exercise, we don’t know the author’s motivations. But suffice to say, the Ravensky family already tick a fair number of the clichés on that list. More generic traits aren’t discussed here, as those can be found anywhere and are more descriptive of a Sue’s appearance than their traits and effects.

So Christopher has the heroes on the ropes. He’s about to finish them, and gives a little speech as he’s about too. Speeches are a pet peeve of mine, but sometimes you have to say something so whatever.

And then the author writes this.

“And then Antoinette was between him and Pech, grabbing onto the white blade.

"NO! STOP! DON'T HURT PECCCCCHHHH!" The girl cried. Christoper could only stare.

She was holding the Redemption. She was not burning. It was not trying to destroy her.

And it had not killed the man in armor.

"Please." Antoinette sobbed.”

The problem here is that Antoinette is not the author’s character. She belongs to the player controlling Erebus and Pech. We don’t have any clue, at face value, if this has been approved of by the original player. If not, this is a severe case of bunnying (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Bunnying), defined as “taking control of characters other than your own in order to make the storyline go the way you want it to.” Closely related to god-moding and railroading, this practice is rude and irritating to those affected. It also shows that the author does not want to kill the characters, but to humiliate them instead. I can only guess how the Marine player must feel.

So then Christopher speaks in a more extended fashion. And it’s pretty obvious he’s not exactly a nice person.

"These MONSTERS. COUNTLESS DEAD AT THEIR HANDS. THEIR SOULS AS BLACK AS PITCH. And you bring them HERE? To my HOME? Who the FUCK DO YOU DIMENSIONAL TRAVELERS THINK YOU ARE? WHY SHOULDN'T I KILL THEM? THEIR SINS ARE LEGION AND EONS PAST OVERDUE."

Now, to be fair, Erebus and Pech have performed a multitude of terrible things in their past. That’s part of their character. But the Ravenskies have NO way of knowing this – they’ve only just met. It soon becomes clear that detecting good and evil is one of their powers, which adds to their growing list of poorly defined powers. As the conversation continues, he proceeds to berate and insult the marines, calling them “fucking idiots,” “monsters,” and “sacks of shit.” This ticks another trait on the list:

“Occasionally a complete asshole, especially when she's supposed to be all of the above (traits).”

Christopher Ravensky proceeds to completely heal the Marines (with an added instant-destroy component if they attack again) and berate them more telepathically, adding yet more vague powers to the growing list. He attributes these powers to “the Stream”,  but this is never explained. No limits are given, no mechanics are described. This is poor world building, almost Dominic Deegan in its vagueness. No power source should be a catch-all for superhuman abilities – it should have mechanics and limitations. But these aren’t described in any fashion. Christopher reveals that he has no information for the group and sends them on their way, humiliated but alive, thus rendering the entire adventure pointless.

So, in summary, the Ravensky family, in their first appearance, are poorly-explained and ill-defined, are god-moded and railroaded into a position of dominating and humiliating superiority over fairly strong characters who demand a truce, come across as completely unlikeable and unrelatable, share various Mary Sue traits, are prevented from killing the characters by bunnying, and offer no useful information for the characters at the end of the scene.

And this is their first appearance.

This does not reflect well on them, in later appearances or future events. I won’t focus totally on those in future essays, however. I’ll go for more “whys” and provide some more evidence as to their being bad characters, but focus on some good areas as well because there are, in fact, a few redeeming traits of the family.

You can all go to bed now.