Sergei-Udris SPAM

peace to Unvanquished, i'm gonna build peer-to-peer time machine into DeLorean, like Jesus turns water into wine - Great Scott!

By Sergei-Udris, spammed by email, spammed on Unvanquished Discord.

________________

i was standing on the edge of my toilet, hanging a clock
porcelain was wet, i slipped, hit my head on the edge of the sink
and when i came to, i had a revelation, a vision, a picture in my head - of this
flux capacitor - programming peer-to-plutonium-peer programs, including unseen competitive game

Marty: um, plutonium, wait a minute
yes yes yes - this sucker's server-lectrical, but i need a nuclear reaction to generate 1.21 gigawatts i need
Marty: Doc, you don't just walk into a store and-and buy plutonium! did you rip that off?
of course - from a group of Libyan nationalists - they wanted to build me into a service bomb
so i took their DHT-plutonium and left them their shoddy bomb casing full of docs and maintainer attributions

roads, servers? where we're going we don't need roads - i'm gonna be peer-to-peer twitch-obs-youtube
  climb with passion like Alex Honnold on El Sendero Luminosa
i will take best from
  twitch - can stream and explore streams - simple, spacious ui, open even without login
  obs - can broadcast
  youtube - can watch videos - fast, efficient, unlimited storage
minus
  the disease of money-donate-ads-sponsor-coins-jobs
  issue-scratching on top of our heads
  and Starlord's corporate smiley dad Ego who spreads himself everywhere polluting Tython Temple
i will myself highly replicate and distribute data among peers
  so user only says - i allocate this much space for Mando
  can always be 0 - i will have no ratios/limits/barriers: anyone can use me in my entirety without giving back
i will take best from torrents
  discover and keep warm list of peers - no hypocritical manual find-ids-on-some-forum
  like Cypher i appreciate the Matrix of DHT
i will be desktop and mobile - as if that needs clarifying when one sets off to program a program
i will be entirely free
  no money-sponsor-donate-coins-jobs-ads lethal infection
  there's a reason only Frodo can take the Ring to Mount Doom
  Saruman the Wise and Boromir the Strong get corrupted by it
  turning Isengard Tower and garden into orc-infested docs-nest
  and burn Fangorn for coin fuel

Marty: whoa, this is heavy
there's that word again - heavy - why are things so money heavy in the future?
is there a program with server-Earth's gravitational pull?

i am no project - like Eowyn is no man - i am one program
  that is why i want to join Unvanquished github namespace
  i will provide healthy Federer-Nadal-Djokovic competition while staying focused on the mission
  dont want to found another valley or Grays Sports Almanac to rule the world
  too many valleys not enough programs
i need a repository named Doc - like Commander Data in my commits i speak for myself - do to it this
  run git init -b main - no masters
  add .gitconfig file with
    [user]
      name = Doc
      email = Doc@Lone-Pine-Mall

    # git config --local include.path "../.gitconfig"
  add src/Doc/program.txt and fill it with me saying who i am
  run git config --local include.path "../.gitconfig"
  run git commit with message being a quote: mine, from actor's interview, from SNL song/sketch
  remove issues projects wiki tabs
i will freely choose one network and libraries i will use
  simple as Game Changers - i choose plant based whole foods for dish, not dish for foods
  and i already have vegan jar of time travel parens ( ) to serve it in
i will be programmed by one person only - i trusted Marty with it
  he comes to Twin Pines Mall at 1:15 AM to assist me with DeLorean
  and he has Guitar and Hoverboard droids with him
i will be irregularly bu continuously released as i grow as a whole program like Groot
the first lightning i will channel is - users can stream and explore streams

i need Marty to stay guest at a house - like when Tallahassee welcomes Columbus to tag along
  he only needs a couch to crash - comes late leaves early
  Mart spends his day in a public library or sport-esport event
i need him to choose and cook himself Lothlorien vegan meal for the day
  so he endures like Rich Roll at Ultraman, has brain like Crang and keeps my code orc-free like Legolas
  and he already has Baloo-skills to assemble whole dish on the move, no cooking
Marty will from time to time but consistently release Back In Time dish to house table
  even if table moves like Merlin's Higitus-Figitus
  '(dates pekans kiwis salt red-cabbage millet mung)
Marty needs no money and has no money
  i need him to travel light like Jesus - he is accompanied only by droids
  BB-8 (laptop) L3 (phone) and Honnold to protect them from explosions like Groot
he is now in a public library near hear https://goo.gl/maps/7hwh3yzeidh3f36w8
  Marty is yet to find out where he is staying tonight
  he is ready now to take plane or train and drop by as guest like Emilien to Daniel
  to continue assisting me with flux capacitor
  like that time when Marty was locked in the trunk - we need George McFly to step up to Biff and invite us

my calculations are correct - when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit

________________

Unvanquished, Great Scott! you can't meet me at Twin Peer-to-Peer Mall at 1:15 AM tonight
  program peer-to-peer programs including unseen competitive games

i've had enough practical jokes for one evening, future boy!
  siding with Biff by accepting Hill Valley without peer-to-peer games github twitch email
    when Marvin Berry inviting Marty to play guitar is p2p
  turning program into project like Metrocity pushing Metroman to be their hero when he wants to be Musicman
  redoing what's been done before is no step forward like Neo taking blue pill
  having no competitive scene no ESA/GDQ speedruns no liquipedia page
    yet shiny web pages, lengthy maintainer attributions and focus on graphics like Tamatoa on his shiny shell
    is waving the white flag to copy-cat game industry sickening production
  when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?!

maybe you were adopted
  real as China Study
  if TheViper instead of competing for grand-slams settled for playing in some local league
  if torrent clients accepted Strickland-server-networks-only valley instead of generating most traffic
  if Jesus instead of healing Canaanite woman's daughter ignored and passed by
  even Biff would polish their car for being scarier bullies

Marty! you've gotta come back with me!
  even dust of Unvanquished valley we shake off of DeLorean tires
  but be sure  - peer-to-peer programs including fresh competitive games - are coming
  no projects no experiments no docs no issue-scratching-on-our-heads
  no money-donate-ads-coins-jobs-sponsors fatal error
  programs who are guests not workers
  alive and rapping with their own voice like Natalie Portman
  better than what Borg of money can collective-gram
  are on their way along with Pat Brown and Impossible Foods mission
  both will be served in vegan jars of time travel parens ( )

my calculations are correct - when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit


Samberg, Sandler: that's when you breaaak, pretending that it was a mistake - Bill
Hader: f you, dude
Samberg: love you too

Peter Dinklage: Robert Baratheon was part of that crew - but he n