more WitcherOT3 not!fic

I've been listening to Her Sweet Kiss on repeat all day
I'm having a very feelings kind of day
The way Batey sings the "I'm weak, my love" line makes me weak every time
Letting your voice break is such a good method in the right contexts
voice actor admiration
Okay actually I've been spending all day idly thinking about a Witcher concept and "commuting home" is as good time as any to share it
Uh it's probably a bit dark (not the idea itself, but the premise) so actually I'm going to put the next bit under a spoiler tag - content note for suicide
There's an oft-told story (I don't know whether it's true or just apocryphal) that Goethe's "Die Leiden des jungen Werthers" (I don't know the English title, sorry) led to a marked increase in suicide in young people unhappily in love
So what if, after their Big Breakup, Jaskier's wandering around Temeria, singing his songs and doing his thing, except it's.... all kind of about heartbreak. I don't think he even notices because it's not like he's planning it. He sings from the heart! Which... is the problem.
I can't decide if I want this next bit to be a thing or not - but: maybe everyone is kind of low-key invested in this fairytale goddamn romance between a Witcher and his bard, and now it's like, IF NOT EVEN THEY GET A HAPPY ENDING, WHAT CHANCE DO WE HAVE.
The point is, there's a rash of suicides across the land, or to make it less FUCKING DARK, just a rash of people being noticeably more depressed and cynical about the idea of love
Geralt doesn't notice because he's entirely too wrapped up in his own issues and also he's a details man, not a big picture man. Yennefer, on the other hand. Yennefer notices.
And, well, her and Jaskier haven't historically have the best of relationships, so she can't very well make him cut it the fuck out, and anyway Jaskier's songs about betrayal and lashing out and I thought we were friends and you hurt me so aren't exactly subtle about who broke them up this badly, so she's like. OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. (And no, she doesn't care about other people! It's just bad for business! Stop maligning her like this!) And teleports to where Geralt is brooding out in the wilderness and is like. LOOK. You need to kiss and make the fuck up with your goddamn bard. OR ELSE.
Maybe she teleports him over to where Jaskier is morosely nursing a bottle of Temerian rye in the quickly-cooling bathtub and is like RIGHT. FIX THIS. and just... leaves Geralt there. Without his gear or anything. (She teleports back to Roach and feeds her sugar cubes and coos at her about putting up with her big dumb rider.)
This is where things break apart because I don't actually know where the series left Geralt and Yennefer's relationship, lololol. But in some way I want to end this in OT3, of course.
Possibly, if they're together at the end of the series, Yennefer is like LOOK. I WILL FUCKING TAKE ON THE HEAVY BURDEN OF PUTTING UP WITH YOUR BARD. NOW FIX IT.
And, well... Jaskier isn't quite as belligerent, since she's the one who kicked Geralt's ass about being a GIANT DICK, and they're both making an effort to be civil, and hey, it turns out putting up with each other isn't such a heavy burden after all!
Also, teasing Geralt for his monosyllabic communication style is much more fun together.
(and then And Yet Here We Are happens in my headcanon)