1 can of Chicken Of The Sea white crab meat (the kind that's really tiny flakes so it mixes in smooth)
about half a tub of Philadelphia cream cheese
a large pinch or two of dill weed
a dash each of paprika, black pepper, salt, and onion powder (or to taste)
a dash of old bay seasoning (optional)
sliced almonds (optional)

Mix together all the above ingredients, then spread on a soft plain bagel. OMNOMNOMNOMNOM. There's enough there for about about 3 or 4 bagels (spreading on each half). You can leave it sit in the fridge for an hour to firm up and enhance the flavor.