Harry Pitter Boom Boom

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  1. “So what now mate?,” Harry asked Ron and Hermione. They had reached the top of a spiral staircase leading to Ravenclaw Tower, leaving behind a trail of bullet casings and dead Death Eaters. They had put up a valiant effort, but mere spells were no match for the deadly trio’s good friends, Heckler & Koch and Samuel Colt.
  3. A not-quite-dead-yet Death Eater at Hermione's feet grabbed her ankle. She drew her trusty Sig Sauer pistol and shot him once in the head, and twice in the chest. After that, she knocked on the handleless door of the Common Room. The eagle knocker spoke.
  5. “Which came first, the phoenix or the flame?”
  6. Hermione pulled down her balaclava and wiped her brow. “Fuck this, you’ve got to be kidding me…”
  8. “Fuck it, we’re breaching the door, “ Harry said. Ron counted off, then  blasted open the door with the shotgun attachment on his Heckler & Koch HK416 rifle, and tossed in a flashbang that went off, filling the room with 170 dB of raw sound and one million candlepower of light.
  10. Harry was in first, double-tapping a female Death Eater in the chest with the 9mm AP rounds fired from this silenced H&K MP5 submachine gun. Another Death Eater lifted up his wand and was about to curse Harry, but the words died in his throat as Ron shot him in the chest. There was a loud crash from across the room. Harry turned to see Hermione struggling with Bellatrix Lestrange on the stone floor. Her pistol was on the floor beside her.
  12. Bellatrix snarled at Hermione. “ You filthy Mudblood!” She reached for her wand.
  14. “ DIE YOU BITCH!” Hermione drew a K-Bar knife from her ankle sheath and stabbed Bellatrix with it before Ron or Harry could intervene. The knife was buried up to it’s hilt in the witch’s neck. Hermione pushed Bellatrix off. She flopped around like a dying fish, choking on her own blood. Ron finished her off with a single shot between the eyes, while Harry shot a couple of Death Eaters writhing on the floor, stunned by Ron’s flashbang.  From start to finish the whole engagement took less than twenty seconds, but it had felt like an eternity to them. The three of them cleared the rest of the tower, just like they had been taught at Brecon Beacons and Fort Bragg. There were 5 Death Eaters in the rest of the tower, spotted by the FLIR cameras of the EMP shielded Apache helicopters circling outside, having laid waste to a contingent of giants with precision guided Hellfire missiles, and the help of a few strafing runs made by an American A-10. Harry took 2 of them with his MP5, and Ron finished off 3 of them hiding in a dorm room with a grenade.
  16. They checked that everyone really was dead, then took up position at a wide balcony at the top. Harry set up a McMillan Tac-50 rifle while Ron watched the doorway. Hermione started calling in an airstrike on the Death Eaters from an AC-130 Spectre gunship overhead. Harry peered through the scope and spotted Lord Voldemort himself leading an attack on the castle entrance of Hogwarts. The defenders were barely holding out, even with the help of the Apaches, until 105mm HE rounds from the Spectre gunship  started slamming into the rear of the seething mass of Death Eaters.
  18. Hermione let out a whoop of joy. “Iron Rain, Wizard 2-1. Good effect, lots of little pieces flying down there.” The Death Eaters, terrified by what literally was death raining from the sky, took off running, leaving only Voldemort and a loyal cadre of Death Eaters with him. The retreating Death Eaters were mostly cut down by a hail of 20mm bullets from the Vulcan cannons of the Spectre, and the fragmenting 30mm cannon from the Apaches.
  20. Harry took all this in through his scope. He took into account the wind, humidity and distance, and zeroed in on Voldemort. He pulled the trigger.   A .50 BMG tungsten core bullet travelled through the sky at 900 metres a second. The bullet hit Voldemort right in the temple, causing the Dark Lord’s head to literally explode,. Lucius Malfoy was caught in the face with a spray of his late master’s brains. Leaderless, the remaining Death Eaters fell back. Lucius took the lead, nobly running away from the battlefront,  but was torn in half by a blast from the lead Challenger 2 tank of the Royal Tank Company, rolling down the hill. Witches on broomsticks attempted to take down the gunship, but were themselves taken down by more Apache helicopters.
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