What's the difference between Katy Perry and Whitney Houston.
Katy Perry dyed in the sink...

Whitney Houston to star in her new film. The Bodybag.

Such a shame. I was even having a wank over Whitney when I found out she was dead. It made me cry and I never got to come.
Thank fuck. The last thing I need is my DNA at yet another crime scene.

Whats the difference between whitney houstons valentines card & madeline mccanns fanny?
Well,theyre both pink but only one got opened.

What's pink and sits on the doormat?
Whitney Houston's valentines cards.

I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed.
Or foreplay, as she calls it.

I've dedicated my life to getting under age prostitutes off the streets.
For an hour or so usually.

Suarez has issued an apology for not shaking Evra's hand.
Apparently he didn't see him in the dark

So Luis Suarez has refused to shake Patrice Evra's hand at the recent Man U - Liverpool game...
Well, it won't be the first time a white man has left a black man hanging.