Love Letter: Emily Dickinson to Susan Gilbert.

Here in dear Susie’s bosom, I know is love and rest, and I never would go away.
Your precious letter, Susie, it sits here now, and smiles so kindly at me, and gives me such sweet thoughts of the dear writer.
When you come home, Darling, I shan’t have your letters, shall I, but I shall have yourself, which is more —
Oh more, and better, than I can even think! until not an hour is left of it —
then you are here! And Joy is here — joy now and forevermore!

Sue — forevermore!  I need her — I must have her, Oh give her to me!
To own a Susan of my own, Is of itself a Bliss — Whatever Realm I forfeit, Lord, Continue me in this!
Come with me this morning to the church within our hearts, where the bells are always ringing,
and the preacher whose name is Love — shall intercede for us!

Am I sad and alone, and cannot help it? Sometimes when I do feel so, I think it may be wrong,
and that God will punish me by taking you away. He is very kind to let me write to you,
and to give me your sweet letters, but my heart wants more.

When I look around me and find myself alone, I sigh for you again; little sigh,
and vain sigh, which will not bring you home.

I need you more and more, and as the great world grows wider. I miss my biggest heart.
My own goes wandering round, and calls for Susie.
Susie, forgive me Darling, for every word I say — my heart is full of you .
Yet when I seek to say to you something not for the world, to tell you how
dear you are but the words won’t come,  tho’ the tears will.

Have you ever thought of it, Susie?
Yet I know you have,I do think it’s wonderful, Susie, that our hearts don’t break, every day
but I guess I’m made with nothing but a hard heart of stone, for it don’t break any, and dear Susie,
if mine is stony, yours is stone, upon stone, for you never yield, any, where I seem quite beflown.

I would nestle close to your warm heart. Is there any room there for me,
or shall I wander away all homeless and alone?
In thinking of those I love, my reason is all gone from me, and I do fear sometimes that I must make a hospital
for the hopelessly insane, and chain me up there such times, so I won’t injure you.

Show me Eternity, and I will show you Memory —
Both in one package lain
And lifted back again —
Be Sue — while I am Emily —
Be next — what you have ever been — Infinity.