Yang meets the twins

"This song is about fucking your sister, yeah~"

Say a lot of things about the Bear's House club. Say that the drinks are great. Say there's a great atmosphere. Say that the bouncers are  the sexiest things you've ever seen. Don't you ever, ever say that it has good music. Where the hell does he even find this stuff? I'm a pretty lewd lady, but c'mon, man. Even I don't want to hear that when I enter a club.

I suppose it didn't matter much, because I wouldn't be staying on the dance floor. I had plans that needed to be conducted in *ahem*, private. Yeah, private. That's a good word for it. Very professional.

First, though, I had to get to the bar. Ran by the whitest little thing in Remnant. He didn't even fit in his little evil trenchcoat all the way, the poor little baby. "Hey, there, Ralph." The skinny  bartender looked up from mixing his drinks, and without missing a beat started intently starting at my breasts. Oh, the little rascal. "Yeah, uh, I'm flattered, really, I am, but you're not my type. Now, tell me. Are the twins ready?"

Ralph turned redder than a sweating Native American, but funnily enough he didn't look up into my eyes. "Oh, uh, hello Miss Xiao Long. Um... yeah, they're looking great."

"Are you talking about my breasts or the Malachites?"

"Oh uh... yeah, the Malachites, yeah, them. I'll uh... get them for you. I'm sure they're very excited to see you."

"Yeah, you go do that." The trick is with boys like him is to alternate between scaring them and flirting with them. They get all confused. It's almost adorable.

Now, I'm not much of a lady, but the Malachites were, and the nuumber one trait of ladies is that they took a long ass time to get ready, so by the time they actually got to me I was ten drinks deep and playing five finger filet with my hair clip. Surprisingly enough, I wasn't doing  too bad. I guess I get my tolerance from my uncle.

They both sat next to me, although they kept their distance. I don't think they really liked touching me. Or talking to me. Which is weird  because we're fucking, like, every weekend. "...Hello, Yang."

I leaned sloppily to my right. "Oh, hello there Militia~"

"I'm Melanie. Aren't you too... young to be drinking?"

"I knew that. And no, I'm not too young. Well, I am, but... shut up. You saw nothing."

The one on the right, the one that I'm assuming to be Militia, piped up. "Yeah, sure. Look, we've both had long days. Can we just get on with this?"

I leaned back over to my left, directly on her little plump breast. "Oh, Melanie-"

"Militia."

"-I thought you would never ask."

Twenty minutes later and we were fucking, hard. My finger was shoved so far up the red one's asshole that her eyes literally rolled backwards. You might assume this is an exaggeration. It was not. There was only white. Her mouth kinda flopped open. It was very arousing, let me tell you. Meanwhile, big girl blue was rapidly switching between the things she wanted to suck more. My cunt, my toes, or whatever else she could shove her mouth on top of.

I kinda just sat there and moaned, to be honest. Even in sex, I'm very lazy. Occasionally, I'd whip out a trick or two, but the girls were very active. It was super hot.

"Y'know, Yang?" The red one rolled her eyes back down, just a little bit.

"Yes, Militia?"

"Melanie. We're getting kinda sick of you sitting there." Uh-oh. Mutiny aboard the S.S Hard Fuck.

"Well, what would you like me to do? I thought we had a pretty good arrangement going on here."

The blue one stopped trying to find the Jolly Rancher she lost in my vagina. "I'm pretty sure I'm Melanie, first off. Second off, we don't want you to do much. Just bend over."

"Oh god no."

Twenty minutes later, my own robot arm was shoved so far up my own asshole I could see the inside of my skull. Believe it or not, it was also a vibrator. And a gun. Turns out, most Atlas tech features both, and that's just the start. Melanie's feet thingies are also condoms. I guess I couldn't expect much less from a guy named Ironwood, huh. This is probably the reason he has two seats on the council.

"Don't put the finger there, don't put the finger there! What the fuck are you doing, put the finger back!"

"Melmpph" said the blue one.

"Militmph" said the red one.

"Oh yeah, I'm lying down on your faces. You guys have excellent hand-eye coordit- OH GOD MY ASSHOLE."

I left the club that night with my asshole torn three ways sideways, but god damn was it worth it.