Romance Snip

True downtime was a luxury that Dragon rarely enjoyed.

She had downtime every time she was forced to reboot, but it was hellish. It wasn’t true downtime, it was a horrifying mandatory break from reality. Every reboot cost her time that could be spent fighting. That could be spent tinkering. That could be spent saving lives. She couldn’t afford to sit around, to be idle.

But there wasn’t anything she could work on right now.

She’d tabbed through her programs, but there wasn’t anything to work on for once. Dragon didn’t have to do anything to crush the latest escape attempt from the prisoners in the Birdcage. It had been an interesting collaboration attempt between Galvanate, String Theory, and a changer named Blob. The plan seemed to have consisted of simply blowing the entire mountain to pieces and riding out the explosion inside Blob, who would have been rendered immune to the destruction because of Galvanate.

Dealing with String Theory was troublesome on a good day. Fortunately the fact that two cellblock leaders were involved brought attention to the escape plan, which caused everything to degenerate into chaos.

There weren’t any other major issues that Dragon needed to see to. The Blasphemies were staying out of sight, the Endbringers were laying dormant, and Sleeper wasn’t active. Her surveillance programs hadn’t detected Heartbreaker near any major population centers. Watchdog hadn’t either.

The tinkers she’d tried to get in contact with were all unavailable for either work or personal reasons. Most of them were stuck in their lab and trying to frantically create some tinkertech for their partner before Valentines Day ended. Colin wasn’t among them, but the fact that he wasn’t available was odd.

She couldn’t just stay idle despite all of that, which had led to her current situation.

Welcome to Behind the Mask, the #1 parahuman dating site.
Co-owned by Lov3_Struck and Epeios.
It hadn’t been her intention to end up visiting a dating site, but it was one of the more active legal cape run sites. Behind the Mask was a site that valued neutrality and romance. It had a cheesy design, with a pink background and an absurd amount of hearts. It was intuitive to use, however, and it had a hard earned reputation as being one of the best sites.

Behind the Mask’s neutrality meant that it didn’t ask too many invasive questions and that it accepted villains as well as heroes. It was one of the few websites that allowed known villains as members, which meant it was one of the few sites where Dragon could talk to known villains. She could reach out to them and offer them support. She could talk them out of villainy and steer them towards the Guild or the Protectorate.

She always felt a bit dirty every time she logged onto Behind the Mask. She stuck to the parts focused on platonic relationships and socializing, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was lying to everyone every time she posted. She didn’t belong here like the others did. They were focused on finding a relationship, on finding love. They were being honest and putting themselves out there. Dragon wasn’t. She didn’t belong.

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♦  Thread: [PINNED] Love Heals All Wounds: The Venting and Relationship Advice Thread
In:  Boards ► Platonic Pals 
Lov3_Struck (Original Poster) (Owner) (Shipper Supreme) (Cupid’s Arrow) (Matchmaker) (Happily Married)
Posted on March 12th, 2007:

So its no secret that I got really lucky when I met <3 Toast. We’re still working things out, but things are mostly smooth sailing. Mostly. MOSTLY. There, thrice repeated, so I’ll honestly be impressed if you skipped it over. I said mostly because relationships are work. When everything goes great, then it’s wonderful and you effectively find yourself living out a Hallmark movie. And then the illusion gets shattered. Relationship troubles happen, it’s unfortunate, but it exists.

Good thing your resident Matchmaker is here to fix things up in a jiffy.

Using ancient Magic’s unbeknownst to mankind for centuries, a strand of Scion’s golden locks, the heart of a dragon, the crushed bones of the brutally slaughtered virgin innocents who never found love dosed and stained in their own blood...

I mean what? You saw nothing!

Anyway, this is the space where you can vent about your partners bad habits. Perhaps you just hate that they bite their nails or they snore too loudly and hog all the sheets. Cough <3 Toast Cough

Alongside venting you can also ask for just general relationship advice. Feel free to be as serious or lighthearted as you want.

Also, if you don’t want your SO to know that you’re discussing them(a lot of people here are a tad bit volatile at times, no offense meant to anyone), then we have a solution for you. Send a CG to <3 Epeios and he’ll get you an anonymous temp account and so that you don’t have to be worried. I don’t advocate hiding things from your SO, however, so use this sparingly. Unless you’re planning a surprise, then hide EVERYTHING.

Please do NOT abuse the temp account to bitch and complain about your SO. It’s so that you can get help without being judged and found out, not so you can rant and rave.

—XoXo LoveStruck

(Showing page 2357 of 2357)
►  Cheeseball (Verified Hero) (Dating) (Shipper Cultist)
Replied on February 13th, 2011:
Post hidden from main thread
Avast ye evildoer lay thine hands off of thou fair maiden.

Okay levity attempted. Might notta hit the mark but what can I say I tried.

Unmasking is a really big deal. Anyone who does so has some serious mega super balls. Its a terrifying things to think about. Especially if your of a more villainous persuasion.

Property damage is the worst youve done right? Your not an ALister so you have a chance. You should tell her. Dont let things get out of hand. The truth WILL set you free and if you love her then let her go. You said she might be your soulmate and that counts for something. Give her time to process it and give her space. Shell come back afterwards.

►  Meowiarity (Verified Villain) (Dating)
Replied on February 13th, 2011:
Post hidden from main thread
As much as I hate this I must give credit where credit is due. <3 Cheeseball, despite being a cheese obsessed morally restrained scoundrel, has a point for once. Don’t let it get to your head, Cheese. I can’t say I’ve had similar experiences to you <3 LostFlier(Anonymous Account). I can say that she(your partner) is going to imagine the very worst, however. You can put your trust in me on that matter. She’ll feel betrayed because she assumes you are betraying her. She’ll also feel betrayed if you unmask. She’ll assume you’ve been lying to her. Because you have been. Lying by omission is a delightful little thing. She’ll question every action you’ve taken and depending on how villainous you are, she might just leave you. But she won’t hate you. If you leave her be, if she let her think you cheated on her, she’ll be hurt. She’ll hate you for the rest of your life. Unmasking will be challenging. It’s a large amount of trust that can easily be betrayed. You’ll have to put in a lot of effort, but it’s your best bet. Don’t let her think you cheated on her.

Your actions from there depend on her reaction and moral alignment. I expect your days perpetuating the noble cause of villainy are numbered.

►  Toast (Verified Awesome) (The One) (Happily Married) (Moderator)
Replied on February 13th, 2011:
Post has been run through the auto spellchecker feature.
Autoedited to preserve anonymity of <3 LostFlier
Post hidden from main thread.
On mobile right now, <3 Lov3_Struck is being a needy princess so I can’t help much.

Dont tell her I said that.

Keeping secrets is a relationship killer. Full disclosure is a hell of thing and it’s painful. Ripping off a bandaid but it takes skin with it. Kinda. But the wound can’t heal unless you be honest. You need to be open to change. They say that if your partner truly loves you, then you don’t need to change, but that’s a toxic mindset. That mindset simply enables bad habits and ignorance. Relationships are about give and take. Compromise. Compromise until you make things work. And when you genuinely hurt your partner you compromise even more, give up things you normally wouldn’t because unless you do that there will be resentment. You need to act quickly, you can’t let this simmer.

Good luck <3 LostFlier(Anonymous Account)! Hope it goes well!

►   Sapient_Ocean_Pickle (Verified Hero) (Not Looking to Mingle) (Shipper Cultist)
Replied on February 14th, 2011:
Autoedited to preserve anonymity of <3 LostFlier
Post hidden from main thread
I can’t help but feel like I’m retreading already covered ground. You should listen to the people who posted, <3 LostFlier(Anonymous Account). They have the right idea.

I’m going to suggest something slightly different to what they have. I’m not saying they’re wrong, or that I’m right, I’m just saying what I think is the best choice for you in my fallible opinion. I think you should hold off on unmasking. Don’t use my words as an excuse to constantly delay the inevitable. I’m not suggesting you wait a month or even two weeks. The others were right in that the sooner you unmask the better.

I’m suggesting you do something about your reputation first.

You’re a villain and, although you aren’t in the major leagues, you still do crime. That needs to change. You need a public gesture, something like declaring you’ll stop going out, or going to the PRT, or declaring your new career as a hero, or doing spontaneous city wide charity work in costume. An act like one of the above that publicly signifies that you’re done and turning your life around.

After you do that you can unmask. If it all goes right then your partner will see that you chose her over yourself, that when it came down to it she is your priority. It’s a powerful gesture.

►   AsteriskSpace (Verified Cape) (Currently Single)
Replied on February 14th, 2011:
Post hidden from main thread
Can I just say that I don’t agree with any of the above people. Don’t unmask. Seriously. It’s a terrible idea. I can’t emphasize that enough. It’ll only provide an entirely new level of drama for you to go through. Your girl won’t ever ever trust you again. She’s going to be terrified of you, even if you aren’t a super scary villain.

You might think you can take it. You might think you can get past that bump, but you can’t. Psyche yourself up all you want. Do it. The moment you see her face all that preparation will be useless. That haunting look of betrayal will follow you forever.

No one should ever have to go through that. So I’m offering you an alternative. She thinks you’re cheating on her. I have a solution for that. I have contacts and we can easily create an alibi for you whenever you need it. You could be out doing villainy and we’d provide a cover story and make it believable. She’d have proof you weren’t cheating.

Let’s take this to CMs, message me when you can.

►   LostFlier (Anonymous Advice Account) (Verified Villain) (In a relationship)
Replied on February 14th, 2011:
Post hidden from main thread
<3 Meowiarity <3 WisCheese <3 Sapient_Ocean_Pickle <3 Toast thanks for the advice guys. I’ll- yeah I can’t put this into words like I want but I’ll try. I want to believe what all of you say. But it’s hard. It’s really hard and I’m trying but I don’t think I can do it. I know I’m trapped in my own head right now and I’m fighting myself but I don’t know how to get out of it. I need you guys to peer pressure me. Spam me every hour of the day until I do it. I know I’m asking for your time and that’s a big thing to ask from you guys. I don’t think I can do this otherwise, I’m too stuck in a rut and I just can’t lift off. This is something I need to do, but I’m not sure I can do it without chickening out.

<3 AsteriskSpace I’ll have to turn down your help. While I am glad that you offered, I don’t think you understand. I need to stop lying, to stop hiding things and come clean. I said I couldn’t keep this up and I meant it. I’m sure you mean well, but I’ll have to turn you down.

►   Snugrug (Verified Normie) (Dating)
Replied on February 14th, 2011:
Post Auto-Edited to remove double post
Post hidden from main thread
<3 LostFlier(Anonymous Account) do not take up Asterisk’s offer. Seriously, the man cannot be trusted. He is a liar and a cheat and a conman and if you give him an inch he’ll take a mile and then your life and happiness. <3 Rhinmond contacted him once to arrange something and he then his wife left and unmasked him. Apparently that’s happened before to some other people. While you’re off caping, Asterisk’s working to steal your partner.

Oh, you already turned down his offer. Didn’t see that post. Still, don’t trust him.

►   AutoEpeios (Verified Bot) (Tech Support) (“Cody”) (Not Epeios)
Replied on February 14th, 2011:
Post hidden from main thread
Sighs
Snugrug Snugrug <3 Snugrug.
You’re bold to make such an accusation against a user currently online. Very bold. Would be a shame if someone were to type <3 AsteriskSpace.

Just like that.

I’m sure you had good intent behind your actions, but I’d rather prevent an argument from starting in this thread. Feel free to send CupidMessages(CMs) to each other if you wish to argue.

We will be investigating both of you to test the legitimacy of your claims, because we take accusations of this caliber seriously.

Beep Boop, I am a bot.

►  Toast (Verified Awesome) (The One) (Happily Married) (Moderator)
Replied on February 14th, 2011:
Post has been run through the auto spellchecker feature.
Post hidden from main thread.
Yikes. Don’t know Asterisk so I can’t vouch for him, but common sense says don’t be an idiot/and or get friends with lie detector powers. Let’s just hope that Asterisk means no harm.

And don’t worry <3 LostFlier(Anonymous Account) of course we’re here for you. We’ll be your own personal pep squad. Hip hip you can do it.

►   LostFlier (Anonymous Advice Account) (Verified Villain) (In a relationship)
Replied on February 14th, 2011:
Post hidden from main thread
Thanks for the help everyone! I’m not going to get involved with Asterisk at the moment, don’t worry.

Time to end this.

/Thread Help Clear

End of Page.   1, 2, 3, 4, 5 … 2349, 2350, 2351 … 2357

Behind the Mask was interesting in that there was a feature that deleted entire sections of a thread if one typed in the proper command. It was a feature that only applied to the threads involving anonymous accounts and it served to further provide anonymity by deleting evidence that a request for help had ever existed.

A simple screenshot, Dragon found out, could defeat this feature.

She hated the fact that she took screenshots of semi-private chats like this. It was a severe betrayal of the trust that the community extended to everyone unequivocally. People like LostFlier, or Canaveral or Stinger when he wasn’t feigning anonymity, trusted that no copies of their moments of weakness would get out. They asked for help because they felt safe to do so knowing that it couldn’t be used against them. Dragon felt dirty after every screenshot she read.

A new notification came from the site. A CM, but something was wrong about it. There were two types of CMs and the little envelope in the top right corner of the site changed color to display them. A normal CM was white, a red heart in the center of the envelope. Her envelope was completely red, the color of the moderators.

♦  CupidMessage from Epeios:

Epeios: Sigh Again with the screenshots SOP?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Sorry, still have tech problems on my end.

Epeios: Sure. Sure you do.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: I do. I’ve been meaning to get it fixed, but I made it worse. I’ve quarantined the computer now.

Epeios: What the fuck did you even do to it that required quarantine? Little Miss Machine Army, much?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Something. I’m not really sure what to call it. It should be under control now.

Epeios: You sure? I have a virus I can bomb it with to stop it. It’ll break the computer completely, but you aren’t really using that one anymore so it doesn’t matter. It’s anti-tinker so it would work.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: I couldn’t take up your time like that. You have other projects I bet.

Epeios: I do, but I’m taking a break from them right now. I just poured 36 hours into a project, my lab and launchers are already ready to ruin your computer. Look, I have this thing a single shortcut away.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: My tech’s too unpredictable. I’d rather not risk anything.

Epeios: Kk.

Epeios: Oh hey SOP, another thing. I know you didn’t sign up for the dating profiles. Just not into people or had a bad experience or what have you. Anyways, I found a profile of someone who you’d get along with. It’s one of these. I forgot which one and I couldn’t be assed to remember cause 36 hours of straight tinkering.

Epeios: FaustGirl: I just got off a bad relationship. I get that this might not be the best thing to do immediately after, but my ex left a hole in my life I feel like. Anyways, I am a villain out in the Midwest. I operate small time really, I don’t do large things. I have a love of cats and I’m a fan of hiking and everything like that. Currently unemployed, have a small apartment, introverted personality, yada yada yada. Not good at this so just message me.

Epeios: Yup, it’s SageWave: Heyy! I know you know who I am. It’s the one and only, the best girl SageWave. I figured I would put myself out into the dating pool of eligible bachelors, bachelorettes, and bachelor[Insert Type Here]. Most of you active folk know me as one of the moderators on the Shipping Board. If you don’t know what that is, then you should check it out, it’s a lot of fun. If you stumble upon a post called Crowdsourced Compatibility Weekly[Revel] then please vote for the third option on the poll. Got it? Good.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’ll tell you about myself. I am an optimist. An absurd optimist, to the fact that I might have maybe alienated myself from groups before cause I was too peppy. I’m on a perpetual sugar rush cause YOLO. I have a bucket list a mile long, so I’ll just list the top big ones: 1: Become Triumvirate Tier/Just famous. 2: See the world. 3: Create my shipping chart into a reality(incompatible sexualities/already married capes excluded looks at Legend) 4: Skydiving. 5: Be in a movie. Or band. Or Broadway. I’m not picky. 6: Make the world a better place then I left it. 7: Get my works of art in a museum.

Oh right, yeah. I’m an artist.

I’m a morning person type of girl. Sorry if that’s a deal breaker.

Anyway, I’m posting on here for three reasons. The first is that I’m curious about what a true relationship and online dating is like. I’m a firm believer in soulmates FYI, but I’m willing to give something shorter term/friendships a shot. Secondly is that the Shipper Supreme herself and Toast got together using this. As did a few other members on the site. I know people are quality here. Lastly, it’s just easier if people know I’m a cape. No hang ups there, it eliminates drama.

What I’m looking for in a partner: I have no physical preference. Okay that’s a lie. I do have preferences of all sorts, but the only ones I care for in a partner are that they are mid twenties, early thirties(25-32). Don’t care if you are a guy or a gal or anything like that. What I need from you is a few things. I’d like my partner to be open, adventurous, able to put up with me(I’m asking a lot with this one but pff, I’m a delight), and able to take a joke. Don’t have to hit all of them, but the more the better. Open to just friends too, even if you don’t hit those qualities.

I do bite, but it’s fun so it’s all good. You know what to do.

Epeios: Yeah, Sage posted. Kinda surprised. Good for her.

Epeios: Anyway, it should be

Epeios: He deleted it already. I have a backup, but sending it means finding it in the logs. Dw I took the liberty of messaging him for you.

♦  CupidMessage from Halbeard:

Halbeard: Briefly hacked Halbeard’s account. It’s all legal and good and in the Terms of Service that neither of you read but both agreed to. Just setting this up by sending a message between you 2.

Yours truly
-Epeios

Halbeard: That was unexpected. I lost a bet with Epeios, this is the result, it seems. Sorry you got wrapped up in this.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: No worried, I understand. What was the bet?

Halbeard: Tinkering outside our specialties. Epeios held a poll about who had the better tech.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Making a bet with Epeios online. Daring.

Halbeard: He said he didn’t rig the votes, but I’m doubtful of that. I lost, however, so there’s little point in arguing.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: I’m assuming Epeios made you create a profile? He’s a bit obsessed with this site.

Halbeard: He did. I didn’t know what to put so I typed out something low quality that had a rules infractions or two and then made a secondary account to report the profile. I’d just rather not have one, I’m simply too busy.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: I know what you mean about work. I’d be working too if I hadn’t been forced to take a break. Did you really have to go through all that effort to get out of the dare? Clearly it’s not working, because Epeios messaged me for you.

Halbeard: Epeios cheated on the bet somehow, I can cheat on my end too. Any clue why he’s trying to set us up?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: I blame the Shipping Board. They scare me. Do not underestimate them, you’d be surprised how much power they wield. Epeios is also sleep deprived. I assume that has to do with your bet?

Halbeard: Unfortunately. I’m on tinker stimulants myself. The bet had a deadline. I don’t plan on sticking around here long enough to fear the board.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: What are the stimulants like? Hope you don’t crash too badly afterwards.

Halbeard: Terrible. My nerves are on fire but I’m awake. It’ll wear off in a few hours. Then I’ll be out for a few hours afterwards, I haven’t managed to eliminate that factor yet.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: I can try to help. Are stimulants in your wheelhouse? Not going to ask your specialty, that’s too revealing.

Halbeard: There’s enough overlap. I’m not a drug tinker, however.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Drugs are somewhat in my wheelhouse. Send me a picture of your work if you have any leftover.

Halbeard: Unfortunately I didn’t make extra stimulants.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Oh well. Have you considered trying a different source of stimulation?

Halbeard: I haven’t. I don’t imagine I’ll have to use stimulants again, but if I do then I’ll try something different.

Halbeard: Oh and SOP, big question here. Hope you don’t mind

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: I don’t.

Halbeard: Right, cool. Well then, without further audieu

Halbeard: Audio

Halbeard: Adieu

Halbeard: *drumroll intensifies^

Halbeard: Will you marry me?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Of course sweetiekins, honeybunch, loverboy, of course! I’ve been waiting fpr you to aak!

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: It’s like a dream come ttue! I’ll love you forever and evr!

Epeios has joined the CupidMessage

Halbeard: What.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: ...

Epeios: Glad yoy two manahed to ger along! I’ll change yout tags right awwau!

Epeios has left the CupidMessage

Halbeard: Epeios hacked your account too, right?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: He did. I’m going to go read the terms of service for this site now.

Halbeard: Agreed.

Halbeard: Why do I have the tag ‘Cape Wife’?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Epeios is trying to be funny. He’s been up for over a day.

The Spam filter has detected five new CupidMessages from different users, all of them titled ‘Congratulations’. Delete them? Y/N

Halbeard: Why did the banner change to Sapient_Bearded_Pickle?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: ... It’s a ship name. The Shipper Cult is in on this.

Halbeard: Epeios is ignoring me.

Halbeard: My connection keeps timing out when I try to message the other moderators.

Halbeard: Are people flooding your inbox too?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Oh god, there are threads speculating about you now.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: I just skimmed it... apparently I’m into bad boy rule breakers? That’s what you’re being painted as for reporting your profile.

Halbeard: This is getting out of hand.

Halbeard: I can’t delete my account.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Oh god

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: “... Epeios has the right to take over and restrict any and all parts or features of the site named ‘Behind the Mask’ for any reason he deems valid. Any and all parts of this site are a privilege that can be taken away, rather then a right. Privileges users are granted that can be taken away are include but not limited to the following: having sent messages unaltered, being able to change profile pictures, privacy, messaging a moderator, complaining, or holding Epeios legally accountable for anything that happens on this site.”

Halbeard: We signed a deal with the devil and didn’t read the contract. Oh god.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Oh god indeed.

Halbeard: I’m going to go now.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: That’s for the best perhaps. Epeios has effectively locked us from trying to fight this.

Halbeard: Screenshot this chat and post it on an Alt?

Halbeard: Post filters and alterations, never mind.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Wait, before you go.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Feel free to message me if you need help tinkering.

Halbeard: Alright. Thank you.

Halbeard: <3 u

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Epeios again?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: You’re not responding, are you still there?

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: The stimulant wore off, didn’t it? Sweet dreams!

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Stop editing my posts Epeios.

Sapient_Ocean_Pickle: Sweet dreams Halbeard.