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- DARK SOULS
- MELEE ONLY
- ALL ACHIEVEMENTS
- GLITCHLESS
- :V
- ----------------
- NOTES:
- - Start Warrior 'cuz it's da best!
- - Pick the Master Key (Only for Masters).
- - Get naked *blushes*.
- - Do pick the Heater Shield (For the Crystal Ring shield, duh!).
- - Pick up the goddamn Longsword.
- - Get the Shiny, cold and delicious Estus Flask (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!).
- - Pick up the lonely soul on the left side of the cliff after killing the ASSylum (heh)
- Demon before going to Lordran.
- - Get your ass to Lordran via Crow Express (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!).
- ----------
- - Consume the Lonely Soul :,( #neverforget.
- - Level up: 16 STR.
- - Go Human #nobeefjerky.
- - Pick up the 3 Humanities by the well (PRO TIP: DO NOT jump down the well).
- - Go to Petrus' Emporium of Shady Things and get the Homeward Bones and the Lloyd's Talismans.
- - Pick up the Noobstick©.
- - Take the New Londo elevator down. DON'T FORGET TO SEND IT BACK UP.
- - CRUSH THOSE HUMANITIES!
- - Go to the Valley of the Drakes (as Masters are wont to do 'cuz Master Key, gedit :V).
- - Pick up the Soul by the gate.
- - Go to Blighttown, avoid getting Rekt© by the Barbarians.
- - Do the SpeedSouls© approved Blighttown Drop©.
- - Cross the Death Branch (Easy Side).
- - Pick up Remedy™ (Sorceries).
- - Go back through the Death Branch (OHFORFUCKSSAKEDONTGLITCHANDFALLDONTGLITCHANDFALL side).
- - Get into the Blighttown Elevator, consume the Soul you have (you DID pick oiy up, right?!).
- - Equip the Noobstick©, feel the nab powa!
- - Kill the stupid spider.
- - Wait for the Naked Lady of the Swamp to appear and kill her.
- - Pick up the 3 Souls on the swamp.
- - Also pick up Poison Mist™ (Pyromancies).
- - Homeward Bone out.
- ----------
- - Level up: 22 STR, 18 DEX.
- - Run back down to the Valley of the Drakes.
- - Consume 2 Humanities and 1 Soul while going down.
- - DON'T FORGET TO SEND THE ELEVATOR BACK UP.
- - Pick up the Soul by the Undead Dragon's hand.
- - Sneaky-peaky-like pick up the Astora's Straight Sword™ (Rare Weapons).
- - OH-SHIT-IT-WOKE-UP pick up the Dragon Crest Shield™ (Rare Weapons).
- - Roll like you have never rolled before and avoid getting Rekt©.
- - Consume the 3 Souls you have left while going up the Valley of the Drakes elevator.
- - Pick up the Grass Crest Shield.
- - OH-SHIT-TURN-AROUND-HE'S-COMING (non-chalantly, don't show him fear!)
- - Kill the Black Knight, suggested methods include boot to his ass and making it fall
- like a dumbass. The Choice is Yours!©
- - Pray for the next 2.78 seconds you get the drop.
- IF DROP DOESN'T HAPPEN: Curse under your breath and restart. Go back to Step 1.
- IF DROP HAPPENS: Yay! Keep reading! (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!).
- - Equip Holy Crap OP© (aka BKH)and kill the Crystal Lizard© (Pray for 2 Titanite Chunks).
- - Keep going and light the Undead Parish bonfire (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!)
- - Level up: XX END (56 Equip Load, for fast roll while wielding the BKH).
- - Run to the Bell Gargoyles, summon Sunny McNutcase.
- - Rekt© the Gargoyles, say "Easy every time".
- - Ring da bell (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!).
- - Go down and commit some sins. DON'T FORGET TO PICK THE 2 TWIN HUMANITIES.
- - Homeward Bone out.
- - Level up: 11 INT.
- - Go visit Andre, Official "Lordran's Chillest Blacksmith©" and get your BKH +2.
- ----------
- - Run towards the Undead Parish, past the Balder Knights (PRO TIP: Do not get Rekt©).
- - Pick up the Neckbeard Key© (aka Basement Key, gedit :V).
- - Run past the Mega Pig towards the rat infested area, use your mighty BKH +2 to get rid
- of the Spear Hollow blocking the path and get to the Lower Undead Burg.
- - Open the door (duh!).
- - Go down then right, right again, up the stairs, then left, up some more, turn 180, up a
- bit more, then face right and open the door towards the Undead Burg.
- - Go kill the Black Knight (pray for BKS or BKS, erh... Ehm... The shield or the sword)
- and get your rightful Titanite Chunk.
- - Kill the Crystal Lizard© (Pray for 2 Titanite Chunks).
- - Go aaaaaaall the way back and buy 2 Lloyd's Talismans from the Undead Merchant.
- - Be an ungrateful bastard and kill him.
- - Go and pick up the Rubbish because is not really rubbish.
- - Back to the Lower Undead Burg.
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