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Dark Souls - All Achievements Melee Only Glitchless (WIP)

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Aug 23rd, 2015
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  1. DARK SOULS
  2. MELEE ONLY
  3. ALL ACHIEVEMENTS
  4. GLITCHLESS
  5. :V
  6. ----------------
  7.  
  8. NOTES:
  9.  
  10. - Start Warrior 'cuz it's da best!
  11. - Pick the Master Key (Only for Masters).
  12. - Get naked *blushes*.
  13. - Do pick the Heater Shield (For the Crystal Ring shield, duh!).
  14. - Pick up the goddamn Longsword.
  15. - Get the Shiny, cold and delicious Estus Flask (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!).
  16. - Pick up the lonely soul on the left side of the cliff after killing the ASSylum (heh)
  17. Demon before going to Lordran.
  18. - Get your ass to Lordran via Crow Express (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!).
  19.  
  20. ----------
  21.  
  22. - Consume the Lonely Soul :,( #neverforget.
  23. - Level up: 16 STR.
  24. - Go Human #nobeefjerky.
  25. - Pick up the 3 Humanities by the well (PRO TIP: DO NOT jump down the well).
  26. - Go to Petrus' Emporium of Shady Things and get the Homeward Bones and the Lloyd's Talismans.
  27. - Pick up the Noobstick©.
  28. - Take the New Londo elevator down. DON'T FORGET TO SEND IT BACK UP.
  29. - CRUSH THOSE HUMANITIES!
  30. - Go to the Valley of the Drakes (as Masters are wont to do 'cuz Master Key, gedit :V).
  31. - Pick up the Soul by the gate.
  32. - Go to Blighttown, avoid getting Rekt© by the Barbarians.
  33. - Do the SpeedSouls© approved Blighttown Drop©.
  34. - Cross the Death Branch (Easy Side).
  35. - Pick up Remedy™ (Sorceries).
  36. - Go back through the Death Branch (OHFORFUCKSSAKEDONTGLITCHANDFALLDONTGLITCHANDFALL side).
  37. - Get into the Blighttown Elevator, consume the Soul you have (you DID pick oiy up, right?!).
  38. - Equip the Noobstick©, feel the nab powa!
  39. - Kill the stupid spider.
  40. - Wait for the Naked Lady of the Swamp to appear and kill her.
  41. - Pick up the 3 Souls on the swamp.
  42. - Also pick up Poison Mist™ (Pyromancies).
  43. - Homeward Bone out.
  44.  
  45. ----------
  46.  
  47. - Level up: 22 STR, 18 DEX.
  48. - Run back down to the Valley of the Drakes.
  49. - Consume 2 Humanities and 1 Soul while going down.
  50. - DON'T FORGET TO SEND THE ELEVATOR BACK UP.
  51. - Pick up the Soul by the Undead Dragon's hand.
  52. - Sneaky-peaky-like pick up the Astora's Straight Sword™ (Rare Weapons).
  53. - OH-SHIT-IT-WOKE-UP pick up the Dragon Crest Shield™ (Rare Weapons).
  54. - Roll like you have never rolled before and avoid getting Rekt©.
  55. - Consume the 3 Souls you have left while going up the Valley of the Drakes elevator.
  56. - Pick up the Grass Crest Shield.
  57. - OH-SHIT-TURN-AROUND-HE'S-COMING (non-chalantly, don't show him fear!)
  58. - Kill the Black Knight, suggested methods include boot to his ass and making it fall
  59. like a dumbass. The Choice is Yours!©
  60. - Pray for the next 2.78 seconds you get the drop.
  61. IF DROP DOESN'T HAPPEN: Curse under your breath and restart. Go back to Step 1.
  62. IF DROP HAPPENS: Yay! Keep reading! (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!).
  63. - Equip Holy Crap OP© (aka BKH)and kill the Crystal Lizard© (Pray for 2 Titanite Chunks).
  64. - Keep going and light the Undead Parish bonfire (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!)
  65. - Level up: XX END (56 Equip Load, for fast roll while wielding the BKH).
  66. - Run to the Bell Gargoyles, summon Sunny McNutcase.
  67. - Rekt© the Gargoyles, say "Easy every time".
  68. - Ring da bell (BAM! ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED, BABY!).
  69. - Go down and commit some sins. DON'T FORGET TO PICK THE 2 TWIN HUMANITIES.
  70. - Homeward Bone out.
  71. - Level up: 11 INT.
  72. - Go visit Andre, Official "Lordran's Chillest Blacksmith©" and get your BKH +2.
  73.  
  74. ----------
  75.  
  76. - Run towards the Undead Parish, past the Balder Knights (PRO TIP: Do not get Rekt©).
  77. - Pick up the Neckbeard Key© (aka Basement Key, gedit :V).
  78. - Run past the Mega Pig towards the rat infested area, use your mighty BKH +2 to get rid
  79. of the Spear Hollow blocking the path and get to the Lower Undead Burg.
  80. - Open the door (duh!).
  81. - Go down then right, right again, up the stairs, then left, up some more, turn 180, up a
  82. bit more, then face right and open the door towards the Undead Burg.
  83. - Go kill the Black Knight (pray for BKS or BKS, erh... Ehm... The shield or the sword)
  84. and get your rightful Titanite Chunk.
  85. - Kill the Crystal Lizard© (Pray for 2 Titanite Chunks).
  86. - Go aaaaaaall the way back and buy 2 Lloyd's Talismans from the Undead Merchant.
  87. - Be an ungrateful bastard and kill him.
  88. - Go and pick up the Rubbish because is not really rubbish.
  89. - Back to the Lower Undead Burg.
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