AITA

Hi guys,

Not sure where to start with this one. So for the last few years I've struggled hugely with social anxiety, which in turn has affected my studies at sixth form to the point where I ended up leaving. I am now trying to complete my A levels online, in the way of a fast track course, so that I can attend Uni next year. I don't currently have a job, I have had one in the past however I feel that because of the fact that two years of study is being packed into the space of a one year course, I would fare better and be much more likely to get a good grade if I was able to solely focus on my studies (and not get a job at this time.) At the same time, obviously I still have a social life, so is it unfair of me to ask my parents to pay for necessities such as clothing, and small cash for meetups?

Now my parents have differing opinions on this, my dad has always had quite a warped perspective on finance (in my opinion at least, not trying to be an armchair psychologist), ever since I was young he would get irritated very quickly if I asked for any cash, no matter the amount. For example, we lived in a small village and when my friends wanted to meetup in town, I would have to ask him for money for the bus (probably something in the region of £2-3 return). This wasn't extremely regularly, but clearly it was something that made him unhappy. As a result, over the years of growing up, I found it increasingly difficult to ask for necessities as I knew that whenever the topic of money was brought up, it would end in a heated debate and I really didn't want to upset him, although I truly didn't think I was being unreasonable in terms of the amounts/items I was asking for. My mum on the other hand, completely disagrees, and has in the past tried to discuss this with my dad, only to be told she is a 'pushover' and that by 'giving in to my demands' she is ruining me. This upsets me greatly, as in my mind, I'm genuinely not asking for ridiculous things, just the normal stuff the average guy my age would. Don't get me wrong, in the past I have had birthday presents such as a brand new Macbook Pro or a paid holiday with my mates that are expensive, and definitely not what the average kid would get, and I'm hugely grateful for that, and I do realise I'm very lucky to be in that situation, but that's the thing, my dad's distaste for paying for me doesn't ever seem to take into account the price, he would be as angry at me for asking about buying something that's £3, as £3000.

Very recently, I inherited around £20,000 from my great aunt, and this has made my dad extremely bitter towards me. He has essentially cut me off financially. Now every time I ask for some sort of essential, he retorts with 'Why don't you pay for it out of the inheritance, why should I have to pay?' For example, today, my Macbook cable broke (as do all apple cables!!!! :( ) and I needed to get a new one, it's gotten to the point where I struggle to ask him myself, in fear of being blown up over the smallest thing, so I asked my mum. She asked - he flew into a rage, stormed out and refused to pay, saying that I should pay for it out of the inheritance or get a job.  I feel like it's important to note that I haven't used the inheritance for anything other than my studies, as I know I will need it for University.

So I guess my question is, am I the asshole for thinking he's really mean for being like this? I genuinely believe that I don't ask for a lot, but perhaps I've been spoilt over the years and now I don't even realise it. I just don't know, but it's so so upsetting feeling like i'm the source of all my parents' problems.

Either way, cheers for reading guys.