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thefyrewire

D&D

thefyrewire
Feb 18th, 2019
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  1. // $(args.1) = low num
  2. // $(args.2) = med num
  3. // $(args.3) = high num
  4.  
  5. // -- critical fail (1)
  6. :[1] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL FAIL! The attempt to summon an Australian spider storm fails catastrophically FailFish
  7. :[1] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL FAIL! Instead of conjuring a magical booty paradise, they spawn booty demons that immediately try to attack $(random.chatter) DansGame
  8. :[1] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL FAIL! Instead of baking a delicious cake for $(random.chatter), they create a deadly poisonous one DansGame
  9. :[1] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL FAIL! Their attempt to touch $(random.chatter)'s booty resulted in dealing them an attack for $(args.2) damage, rendering them unconscious KAPOW
  10. :[1] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL FAIL! They tried to buy pizza for $(random.chatter)... but it backfired and now they're drowning in pizza (a win if you ask me OpieOP )
  11. // --
  12.  
  13. // -- 2-5
  14. :[2] $(user) rolled a 2! They somehow manage to conjure pizza for $(random.chatter) <3
  15. :[2] $(user) rolled a 2! They barely escape the giant rolling $(channel) head that's currently terrorising everyone DansGame
  16.  
  17. :[3] $(user) rolled a 3! They narrowly avoid being crushed by $(random.chatter)'s giant fist KAPOW
  18. :[3] $(user) rolled a 3! They duck to the side... but it isn't enough! $(random.chatter) attacks them for $(args.2) damage :(
  19.  
  20. :[4] $(user) rolled a 4! They dodge to the side... just about escaping $(channel)'s booty destruction attack!
  21. :[4] $(user) rolled a 4! They barely manage to block $(random.chatter)'s slicing attack! That was close...
  22.  
  23. :[5] $(user) rolled a 5! They hardly have enough time to step aside as a wave of meat-eating ants rushes past!
  24. :[5] $(user) rolled a 5! They scarcely miss $(random.chatter)'s axe attack! It slices cleanly into the ground next to them
  25. // --
  26.  
  27. // -- 6-10
  28. :[6] $(user) rolled a 6! ...but it's not enough :( $(random.chatter) deals them $(args.1) damage NotLikeThis
  29. :[6] $(user) rolled a 6! ...but before they can react, the shadow version of $(user) appears and attacks them for $(args.2) damage!
  30.  
  31. :[7] $(user) rolled a 7! They summon an army of spiders to attack $(random.chatter) cmonBruh
  32. :[7] $(user) rolled a 7! They successfully spawn a horde of evil $(channel) zombies! PogChamp
  33.  
  34. :[8] $(user) rolled an 8! They successfully sneak into $(channel)'s lair, hijacking the stream and foiling their plans to take over the world Kreygasm
  35. :[8] $(user) rolled an 8! They manage to evade $(random.chatter)'s super mega ultra deadly cannonball attack!
  36.  
  37. :[9] $(user) rolled a 9! They are able to charge and fire their deadly laser attack, dealing $(args.2) to $(channel)!
  38. :[9] $(user) rolled a 9! But nothing happened. $(random.chatter) jumps on the chance to deal them $(args.1) fire damage!
  39.  
  40. :[10] $(user) rolled a 10! They duck behind $(random.chatter) and try to sneak attack, but it failed...
  41. :[10] $(user) rolled a 10! They duck behind $(random.chatter) and try to sneak attack, and succeeded! They dealt $(args.3) damage!
  42. // --
  43.  
  44. // -- 11-15
  45. :[11] $(user) rolled an 11! They set $(random.chatter) on fire, dealing them $(args.2) damage CurseLit
  46. :[11] $(user) rolled an 11! They successfully use their charisma to woo $(random.chatter) <3 <3
  47.  
  48. :[12] $(user) rolled a 12! They summon a small wave of giant, flesh-eating spiders DansGame
  49. :[12] $(user) rolled a 12! They distort reality, conjuring a sexy illusionary $(channel), successfully distracting $(random.chatter)!
  50.  
  51. :[13] $(user) rolled a 13! They hack into the streamoiwj043jit34 32@@#sdf df - THIS IS NOW $(user)'s STREAM
  52. :[13] $(user) rolled a 13! They spawn $(args.1) clones of $(random.chatter) and brainwash them into taking over the stream, no-one has any time to react!
  53.  
  54. :[14] $(user) rolled a 14! They unleash a mighty frost attack on $(channel), but $(channel) casts a shield at the last second and reflects in right back in $(user)'s face
  55. :[14] $(user) rolled a 14! They unleash a mighty frost attack on $(channel), who has no time to block! They suffer a freezing $(args.3) damage! Oof.
  56.  
  57. :[15] $(user) rolled a 15! They cast a taco illusion spell on $(random.chatter), who falls for it and suffers $(args.2) heartbreak damage when they discover it was never real :(
  58. :[15] $(user) rolled a 15! They cast a taco illusion spell on $(random.chatter), but it backfires and they get distracted, allowing $(random.chatter) to deal them $(args.2) electrical damage!
  59. // --
  60.  
  61. // -- 16-19
  62. :[16] $(user) rolled a 16! They summon a demogorgon from the Upside Down... it appears in $(random.chatter)'s shed and abducts them o.o
  63. :[16] $(user) rolled a 16! They call to the heavens, casting a divine spell that morphs everyone into a llama
  64.  
  65. :[17] $(user) rolled a 17! They successfully hack into the stream, banning $(channel), unmodding all the mods and DDOS-ing everyone OpieOP
  66. :[17] $(user) rolled a 17! They successfully transform into a massive jar of Vegemite, grabbing $(random.chatter) and drowning them in the viscous black goo DansGame
  67.  
  68. :[18] $(user) rolled an 18! They conjure the almighty $(channel)-nado, destroying everything in its path and replacing it with a clone of $(channel). The $(channel)-ness of the situation deals everyone a healthy $(args.2) damage KAPOW
  69. :[18] $(user) rolled an 18! They unleash a devastating cuteness attack on $(random.chatter), whose heart explodes, dealing them $(args.3) damage and long-lasting emotional and trust issues
  70.  
  71. :[19] $(user) rolled a 19! They whoosh up into the sky, then hurtle back down, focusing on a single point: $(channel)... but they missed. They dealt themself a staggering $(args.3) damage!
  72. :[19] $(user) rolled a 19! They whoosh up into the sky, then hurtle back down, focusing on a single point: $(channel)... the attack connected! $(channel) is dealt a numbing $(args.3) damage!
  73. // --
  74.  
  75. // -- critical hit (20)
  76. :[20] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL HIT! They fly into the air and spread their arms, summoning a rainstorm of drop bears and Huntsman spiders DansGame DansGame Everyone in chat is dealt a brutal $(args.3) damage!
  77. :[20] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL HIT! Everyone is horrifed as they watch $(random.chatter) get turned into pure Vegemite
  78. :[20] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL HIT! They grow an extra hundred arms and slap everyone's booties <3 KAPOW
  79. :[20] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL HIT! Their eyes turn coal black as they morph into their final form: a 15-ton lumbering drop bear SwiftRage
  80. :[20] $(user) rolled a... CRITICAL HIT! Moving faster than the speed of light, they slap $(random.chatter)'s booty $(args.2) times until it sets on fire CurseLit
  81. // --
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