Nonny's Unlikely Alliance

In another time, in another place…..
>Be Nonny
>The small filly horse
>Indeed, why would you be someone else?
>You’re Anon
>Turned into a filly
>A certified badass with a PhD in the D
>Minus the D now
>And the ripped muscles
>Well ripped was being generous….
>Whatever! Who cares! You’re the best nut-punching, meme-spouting, shitposting, grittiest filly in all of Dumb-Horse-Ville
>And you were getting chewed out
>Pretty bad……
>”….Just WHAT were you thinking? You know how impressionable she is! Think of what would’ve happened if she had actually done it!”
>The purple dweeb’s eyes fire liquid disapproval into the ravines of your soul
“Well…. I kinda thought that was the point of me telling her…..”
>The fire in her eyes rises
>DE-NO-NE-NO-NO-NE-NO-DE-NO-NE-NO-NO-NE-NO
>”WHAT?! TELLING YOUR LITTLE SISTER TO;”
>She scrunches her face as she impersonates you
>”Go stick a fork in an outlet to become Rain from Meatal Come That-“
“It’s Mortal Kombat dweebo get it right.”
>Her expression finds a way to worsen
>”THAT’S NOT THE POINT AND YOU KNOW IT! NOW GET DOWN FROM THERE!”
>Prior to this very level-headed and reasonable debate you decided to take refuge from your purple whale-horse overlord by hiding behind the cookie jar on top of the fridge
>During said very unnecessary and intruding upon your nap time debate she had managed to coax you out from your blast shield of the cookie jar and boxes of CelestiOs
>It was a serious tactical error on your part
>Sadly you can’t call the Skyranger for Evac here and-
>OWOWOWOWOWOW
“YOU MAGENTA’D FUCK!”
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>Your butt hurts now
>Like, a lot
>You’re pretty sure sitting down is the equivalent of rolling your ass on broken glass
>And you’re waiting outside HER room
>It was YOURS, but now it’s OURS all the time
>It was practically just hers…
> (HUMPH)
>You put your ear to the door, carefully moving your ass so as not to touch anything
>You can hear her quietly sniffing inside
>You sigh obnoxiously audibly
>Ever since she came here you gave her shit
>Looking back, none of the shi-bang was really her fault
>Unlike you, who got turned into a filly by getting into a nasty drinking contest with a Canadian Meme-Lord, she came here as a human
>As a dude, nonetheless
>But the atmosphere of Equestria seemed to have an adverse effect on the human body, and The Hayburger Devourer decided to turn her into a filly in an attempt to save her life
>In the process however, she lost all her memories and truly believed she was just a little tiny filly
>She was so innocent and happy….
>You almost envied her
>And when she first woke up, giving you those wide, teary green eyes for the first time…..
>The first thing she said….
>”Sis….”
>Your rather cold-hearted demeanor faltered then, and you tried to bring her up as your little sis, to love and protect
>At first
>Dear fuckberries are kids annoying though
>And you underestimated her impetuous annoyingness to you
>But now…..
>You feel…
>Your heart….
>’There was a friendly but naïve king, who wed a very nasty queen….
>’The king was loved, BUT…. The queen was feared….’
>You feel a slicing pain on your rump
>”Get in there….”
>Purple-smart is glaring behind you, to oversee your apology
“Don’t tell me what to do DORK.”
>Bam Dam Banana-Man Sam
>Got her good
>She raises her hoof
>IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO
>You go into the room
>It’s a humble abode, with a little mirror, a dainty closet, a little table and a chest of various toys, with a snug bed in the center you share with her
>She was on it, face buried in her pillow
>Yikes…
>You quietly spring up, and wrap one of your front legs around her shoulders
>She shakes a bit when she sees you, but the expression you give her makes her relax
>And start crying into your marely chest-tuft
>It’s starting to come in, baby, oh yeah
>But back to the moment
>”She-she (hic) yelled at me and I didn’t know what to do an’-then-she said how mean and stupid you are and I-said sh-she was dumb for sayin’ that about my big sis and she just kept yelling and do you actually hate m-“
>It’s about time you cut that short
“No no no, sshh. I-“
>She gave you those eyes again
>Those damn lock-on to heart and fire filly eyes
“I’ll do anything for my little sis. You’re the best. I lo-“
>You can’t force yourself to say it
>The years leading up to you being a filly, those years of loneliness, hate, rage, sorrow and loss from the other world…
>Stayed your tongue from what your callous, rag-tag heart wailed
>But luckily, she got the message and you hugged
>”E-e-even when I pee the bed sometimes? And when I ask you questions all the time? Even when I went into your don’t-look-in-that box?”
>She got into that?
>Shit, you hope she didn’t tell Twi
>That could be REAL hard to explain…….
>But
“Yeah, even then Non. We’re always gonna be sisters, no matter how much I get mad sometimes. You’re a dumb, loud, annoying silly filly. But you’re my silly filly damn it.”
>She smiles at you as the tears linger in her eyes
>You hold each other a while, sharing a moment
>You might even start to cr-
>You see the Princess of Nerdland looking at you with big violet eyes from the door
>She’s smiling and silently aw-ing
>You mouth to her
“Fuck you, fuck your friends, fuck your family, fuck everything you stand for, fuck your bitch-slave, fuck your owl, fuck your books, fuck your hayburgers, fuck your cheeky sticky notes and fuck your fucking parenting you fuck-fuck fucking fucker.”
>You go back to sharing a moment with your sister as Twi glares eye-spears into you
>After a while, she walks out, and the two of you chill out and just start talking
>Non still looks pretty down, so you decide to cheer her up the way you usually like to
>Schemin’ and mememin’
“So did I ever tell you about this magical thing Twi keeps from us? This mystical thing that makes you feel good and take on the whole wide world?
>She looks at you like you were describing the crown of Babylon itself
>”N-no, what is it?”
>You lean in
“It’s called….”
>You whisper
“Alcohol.”
>”Woah….”
“We’re gonna get some.”
………………..
>You’re still Nonny
>And you’re sittin’ in class
>Thinking of the plan
>The idea was to get Non to hang out with Spring Flyer, her filly best friend who you wanted to curb-stomp
>Twi would watch over them, like any helicopter-parent
>Meanwhile, you get into a fight at school so she sends you to your room
>You then use the toothpick, toothbrush, and Mare-Gi-Oh card she left in the time-out room to pick the lock
>You bust out and avoid Spike and Owl-fuckface to get to the magical artifacts room
>Cause a ruckus, then make a beeline for Twi’s personal stash of exotic liquor, (mostly are gifts anyway because Nerd-O didn’t drink), and lock yourself back in the time-out room like nothing happened, storing the goods in your school-bag
>Perfect meme
>Memesoon would be proud
>You were so lost in your fantastical reverie that you didn’t notice Cheerilee was calling on you for like the fourth time
>”Nonny! Equestria to Nonny! HELLO!”
>You snap back into it as most of the class laughs
“Uh, what?”
>”Who was the first Romaren emperor?”
>Oh shit
>You got this
>See, in the old world it was Julius Caesar, and since that world mirrored this one….
“Um, Mareius Cleavage-uh, -er.”
>The class roars laughing at your stupidity
>What?
>You couldn’t be bothered to give .8762 fucks about 4th grade Equestrian history
>You were too busy ballin’
>And smacking bitches
>Learning is for nerds anyway
>Cheerilee glowers
>”Maybe if you stopped DAYDREAMING and started paying attention, you’d know how important this stuff is.”
>She goes back to the board
>”Now, class- and Nonny, the first emperor was Marelius Causer, and she founded the Romaren Empire.”
>You were fucking close damnit
>Suddenly, the bell rings, and fillies and colts alike storm out of the class to recess
>You try to slink by, but Cheerilee nabs you
>”I trust there won’t be ANOTHER incident today Nonny?
>She looks at you with the quit-being-a-dipshit-I-know-you’re-better-than-this eyes
>Oh boy is she in for some disappointment
“Of course, Mrs. Cheerilee. I’m awful sorry ‘bout daydreaming and being all bad about stuff.”
>You put on your best “I’m sorry” bullshit face
>She buys it
>”Ok, just go out and play nice now.”
“Ok.”
>You head out of the building
>Now who to pick a fight with?
>You look around your class
>You sadly weren’t in the same class as the CMC, because they’re a year older than you
>Fuckers
>With their cutie marks and all
>So what if you didn’t have yours yet?
>You don’t need their fucking help to remind you of a life being told you were and living up to be-
>Useless
>Anyway, while scanning your friends run up you
>Good ol’ Aryanne and Little League
>They were awesome
>Always helping you start shit
>And they showed up at just the right time
>Time to recruit some help
“So fellas, what’cha doin’?”
>”Heil!”
>Aryanne jumps to a rigid pose that is all too recognizeable, then relaxes as she spits words through the sieve of her strudel-y German accent
>”Ah yeah, just thinking about degeneracy-y, baking, y’know, ze usual.”
>You turn to Little League as her face blossoms a rose tinge before you
>Why does she always do that?
>”Uh-heh-heh, yeah. Nah just chillin’. Y’know, the usual.”
>Good
>Confirms your suspicion that they were doing jack-shit, and now were looking to you for guidance
>You being an excellent role-model and leader after all
>Flawless, truly
>You look around the school-grounds once more, spotting an unpleasant face
>Perfect Ruby, and her lackey fuck-tard Slather Jam
>HAHAHAHAHAHA
>Fuck you can’t get over that dude’s name
>There is now way his parents didn’t beat the fuck-sauce out of him
>Yeah these two always gave you shit ever since Twisnot Porker decided that an education was “becoming of a little filly like yourself”
>The appropriately ruby-tinted mare was a surpisingly burly one, and was just an all-around dick to everyone
>She routinely stole, bullied, and agitated all the other colts and fillies
>Your first day here she smashed your head against the table when you were struggling to pick up a home-made hay sandwich with her hooves, then she found a way to twist it against you in front of Cheerilee
>Not to mention she constantly ruined Aryanne’s drawings, (she wanted to be an artist like a certain fellow), and tricked one of Fluttershy’s animals into eating Little League’s trading cards, then blamed it on her
>She totally had this coming
>Not to mention, to add insult to injury, the only person she treated well was Slather Jam
>The nerdiest, whitest, weeaboo-cringe tier little bitch who ever set forth in tiny horse land
>In a land of sunshine and rainbows, he still managed to be a gigantic mumbling pussy
>With a grape-coat and a horrid brace retainer moving around his head, he even looked the part
>At first you felt bad for him, despite your douchebag nature, figuring he was just some freak or outcast
>But then you learned the little shit was sadistic in his own right, actually helping pull off some of the aforementioned incidents
>Which is why it was time
“So, you feel like starting some bucking shit today gals?”
>Aryanne, ever the spirit of vigor started nodding, whilst Little League reluctantly piqued
>”What kind of shit?”
>You smiled
“Revenge.”
>You re-iterated all the grievances of Slather Jam and Perfect Ruby, riling the two young mares up
>Then you started the fight, giving Cheerilee a shit-eating grin
>You then promptly got your ass handed to you…..
………..
(Some time later)
………
>You were sitting in your room after Twi comforted you about getting bullied and beat up and school
>You totally didn’t cry like a bitch or anything
>Nah
>You’re like Duke Nukem before Forever
>The cool one, not the weird parody of himself one
>Still, it worked in a way
>You were in the house, alone, with no supervision
>And to top it all off Twi probably told Owl-stop-watching-me-when-I-poop-fuckface and Alduin’s forgotten one-night stand to give you some space
>So off you sneaked like Solid Snack
>Snake?
>Or was it Boss?
>Or Raiden?
>No definitely not him
>Fuck it whatever
>On the way, you peer out of one of the exquisitely beautiful glass-stained windows of the castle to see Non playing with your friend outside
>Laughing and rolling around
>Having a blast
>Having something you…. Never…..
>Right yeah
>Your heart plays a little chord for your adorable Non once more, and you move onwards towards something that is also paramount to you
>Booze
>You move on…..
>After several minutes and you messing with a weird book Twilight liked to keep, one with a weirdly ominous presence at that, and manage to infiltrate Spergkle’s room
>You pause to make sure no one currently dealing with the ruckus in the artifact room is headed your way, then look under Twi’s bed
>Bingo
>Jackpot
>Fuck-sticks
>You pull out a well-adorned box of incredible craftsmanship, clearly embroidered with a distinct Saddle-Arabian theme, covered with symbols and intricate writing
>No one would make a box this fancy if this wasn’t a wine or booze stash
>You tremble with anticipation
>Several months sober will do that
>You pop open the finicky but unique lock and open the box to find….
>A bunch of family memoirs, photos, and personal items?
>OH FUCK
>Twilight really was a fucking nerd!
>WHERE THE BOOZE AT?
>”Hi there, Nonny.”
>Oh no
>Molten dread fills your stomach
>You turn to find your captor-caretaker-wannabe-parent glaring at you from the door, her teeth gritted
>She slowly advanced
>”So this whole thing was just another scheme huh? Another attempt to go get booze? Don’t you think that’s not an appropriate drink for a FILLY?”
>You can feel the venom-wrapped disappointment and anger in her voice
>Uh
>Uh
>SNATCH AND RUN YO! SNATCH AND RUN!
>You grab something, (it might’ve been a photo of Shining), and try to bail to the window before you feel magenta magic pull you back
>NONONONONONONO
>You claw at the floor like the condemned filly you are
>Twi hoists you into the air, dangling upside down to her face
>”You didn’t even think that after the last TWELVE attempts I haven’t learned my lesson and don’t keep alcohol in the house? I practically don’t drink anyway! YOU DIDN”T THINK I WAS GOING TO LET YOU DRINK LIKE A MAD-MARE LIKE YOU DID BEFORE DID YOU? HUH, FILLY?”
>You gulp
>She was pretty butt-mad
>SO what if you MAY have broken some of her stuff and constantly made a fool of her to try and get Booze?
>It’s a just cause baby
>Oh she was going to spank you again wasn’t SHEEEEEEEEE
………………
>You walk out of the castle to go say sorry again to your sis for roping her into this, your ass sore as ever
>You trot-waddle over to her to see a big-ol smile on her face
>Aw
>Even when you fuck up she’s happy to see you
“So-“
>”Nonny! Nonny! Look I made another friend!”
>Lolwut
>She gestures behind her and you see an unkempt and sleepy-eyed, but rather lean green colt
>With the same look as-
>Oh no
>”Hi, I’m Nonn. My parents just took me in a couple a days ago when they found me in the woods. I’m still really jumbled up, but I think I’m a colt, but I have these weird dreams and memories. Your sis seems real cool, and I was wonderin’… since I don’t exactly have any friends… if you guys wanted to….”
>shit
>This could go one of two ways
>Maybe…
>The question stands
>Is he easily manipulated?
“Would you mind helping us get the magical item called Booze?”
>”Uh, I guess… not?”
>Works for you
“Alright, you’re in. I’m Nonny. We’re going to get a magical drink called alcohol. And it will bring us to Valhalla, where we shall witnessed for dubs.”
>He looks at you confused, not getting the meme-speak
>He’ll catch on
>Non jumps excitedly, ignoring her even more confused friend, Spring Flyer
 >”ADVENTURE YAY!!!!”
>And this is the little story of how you all became…..
>Non, Nonn, and Nonny
>Huh, sounds familiar
>You shrug it off, walking with your friends in tow, (thankfully leaving Spring Flyer in the dust), plotting and schemin’ bout how to get some booze under Twilight Porkle’s snout
THE END?!