“I think I’m hot shit because I shove my fists in the briar patch.”

Diana meets Ev’s kids in January and February because he needs help babysitting, even if she ends up with Yvonne/Forrest/etc.

Diana’s Spring Break is unromantic. She meets Liam, and learns of Yvonne’s crippling fear of graduation, and watches Madi stumble her way to a boyfriend. She smokes with Forrest and swims with Sebastian and has an overall good time until she comes back to Virginia and finds out that her decision to go on that podcast had an effect on others. That she doesn’t live in a vacuum. (In comparison to how she’s so confident in how the vampires seem to have some dependency on her. However, if this flares up after she dies it may also imply she knows that’s bullshit too but didn’t want to come to terms with it just yet.

She discovers that Veronica made her confession, while also cementing Diana’s position in the situation, as well as Diana’s innocence. It was easy to blackmail Julia (Agrippina)/Rhea and Mark (Anthony)/Percy (Perseus) when Diana was cheating on the both of them, and lured them into a fatal position. They (rather, JD) were planning to kill Diana too, but she didn’t show up. Diana was too busy moping and hiding away from the problem. Cue the survivor’s guilt.

Diana gets the answer she technically wanted, even if it’s hard to swallow. She thought she wasn’t related to the case, and instead she’s part of the reason they died at all. Sure, they may have found another way, but this was still the way it went for sure. It’s a sucker punch, both for her but also for her fanbase. Even if she didn’t directly cheat, it’s a murky situation.

She starts closing in on herself and drawing away from the vampires, which is easy to do when Bernard is murdered and there’s a lot more at stake. (Ha.) She set out to do many things and accomplished none of them. Because her grades slipped in the past couple years, she narrowly missed the GPA requirement for the major she was planning to get into, no matter how half-heartedly. She wasn’t sure what major she was going to get into anyway. She feels lost, and she wants to repent, so she does.

Rather, she flagellates and tries to find redemption for high school through Charlotte because the scenario is easy pickings. Even at her worst, she realizes that what Charlotte is doing is too selfish by harming others instead of living with the cirucmstances they willingly signed up for. Charlotte isn’t chasing redemption, she’s pulling the cowardly option.

But first, she says her goodbyes to the vampires and wishes them the best without revealing her motives. She does the same with her viewers on Youtube. It isn’t a concerning video to everyone but, say, Madison and the demons.

Once at the museum, Diana takes the training she learned from Shokra and Bernard and applies it. Both how to subdue someone physically, but also magically. Diana doesn’t necessarily want to die, or at least, die in a way that benefits Charlotte by basically doing it right in front of her, but she buries suicidal tendencies under Doing The Right Thing. So she stabs Charlotte, and Charlotte fights back, and there’s maybe even a bite. Charlotte goes for the kill, and Palmer goes for the kill too. So.

The damage is too much. Diana bleeds out on a museum floor and is mildly disappointed under the delirium. Palmer tries to keep her alive but he arrives too late, but he still keeps her company. She realizes that she must be setting a terrible example for her younger viewers. He assures her that they’ll sweep it under the rug. He also apologizes.

Diana dies.

She wakes up in a flower field, and gets a hot minute of just sort of vibing out before the post-death hangover sinks in. By then, Catherine’s found her and has some gatorade and ibuprofen, and waits for Diana to take a minute before she explains that there’s a bit of a procedure to all this. Yes, she did die. Yes, it’s going to be a bit of a change, but please give it a chance.

Di: Okay, so I’m dead. Am I going to get judged?
Cath: Usually, yes, but we’ve been keeping a pretty close eye on you already and you’ve done fine.
Di: …Does that mean I can see my friends?
Cath: If they’re here, sure! But let’s get you checked on first, okay? Get you all your paperwork and all that, we’re still ironing out the kinks so I’ll walk you through it.

Through the sheer power of nepotism, Diana gets to cut the line and is ushered past the usual screening process and passes through uneventfully. Catherine walks her through the ropes in the meantime.

Catherine: So, you learned that some people have holy affiliation and some have demonic, right? Two sides of the same coin, since the original demons were fallen angels and all. It’s more of a genetics thing.
Di: Does that mean demons burn in hell?
Catherine: Oh, no, not all of them. We do our best to take everyone (over here) so they can be judged fairly. But you’ll be fine. But the gist is is you know Pocket Crossing? Being dead is basically like that. The world is your oyster, see what you find enjoyable, meet new people if you’d like.
Di: And if you don’t?
Catherine: You wouldn’t have woken up! Everyone does, though. Humans are social creatures.

In the middle of the explanations, around the time Diana starts asking questions and sort of processing everything, they’re interrupted by Leo rushing in to fuss over Diana. Diana is shocked because she thought she misheard Palmer saying that her dad was going to kill him after seeing what happened. Everard and Palmer are also there.

They confirm that Charlotte was nuked off the face of the earth because she pushed herself way too hard but also because Palmer nuked her off the face of the earth before she could do serious damage. (Vampires are still human enough that them trying wonky besides the fangs is pretty wonky which can lead to cracks in reality where sin/virtuespawn tend to congregate/be summoned. Charlotte may have succeeded but it was very unlikely to go well and was more likely to just cause an influx of horrorterrors in the area. Which is bad.)

Diana’s just like Dad What. Robin What. What are you doing Here Did you Get Hurt? Is this related to what happened in December, Dad??

Leo is internally dying inside, so Robin takes the lead and is basically Hon, we’ve all been dead a Very Long Time.

Di is like So Wait, You Guys Just Adopt Humans Randomly? And that’s Fine?

And someone’s like “ok well not usually but when you’re one of Satan’s second in commands you get a little bit of leeway.”

And cue the blue screen. Catherine is like “let’s give you two some privacy, maybe? Diana, we’ll grab you some food, what’s your favorite? You may not be hungry right now but that is Also Likely The Shock.”

And di is like “actually I am Very hungry. Uh. Soba?” And pauses, and turns to Ev. “Wait. Is This Why You Wouldn’t Go Out With Me?”

And Ev is like “that’s pretty much the only reason, yes. That and the paperwork that’s now resolved now that Palmer’s back.”

Di is like “Oh. Well. How’s about now?”

And ev is all “maybe after we run you through a few more powerpoint slides and you decide what you want to do.”

(Somewhere in the BG, Leo is already blue screening more than he already is.)

And Then There Were Two.


Leo doesn’t start crying but he’s trembling which is basically the same thing for him.

Leo  is just basically like“I planned to tell you when you were older. There’s so much time to learn about all of this that there was no need to rush you into it. There may be eternity here, but there is still a limited time Before That where you’re just human and you have less of a weight on your shoulders”

And honestly? Di Gets It. All the celestial red tape. She’s not happy about the lying, but also what else could she expect?

Leo isn’t Perfectly Pleased with that answer because he doesn’t feel like lying was necessarily the right thing to do because he values her, but also parenting is hard. She clairifies that she appreciates him giving her the opportunity. He’s sorry he wasn’t able to give her a real choice.

Di voice: Dad no offense but I made my choice by hanging out with the vampires. Robin already asked if I wanted to forget, too. And I didn’t. So!








Catherine’s like hey, let’s give you the grand tour! And hey you can have your own bedroom again! We can start moving your things in from Leo’s house to Leo’s Afterlife house whenever you want!!! Yay magic!!!!!

Diana likely has a lot of mixed feelings! Sure she’s in with the in-crowd again, but there’s a very real chance that the in-crowd are still power tripping abusers and there is technically Nothing that can be done about it. However, she also thinks about the vampires and how they technically have many fingers in many pies but she still didn’t mind since they didn’t seem to be doing any direct harm. And Catherine already informed her in which ways they do play god, and no one would blame her if she has issues with it. But she is okay with it. So. Something something no ethical consumption under freedom.

Di voice “Robin”

Robin voice “yes di”

Di voice “this isn’t like I’m making buddies with hitler and just looking the other way because they treat me nice, right”

Robin voice “I mean honestly they’re not the Best people but no one is. I’m not. But honestly we’re all here just trying to make the best of it. A lot of the rules down on Earth don’t really work here anymore, Di. It’d be a good social experiment if you weren’t dealing with, well, non humans. And no one’s going to be happy because there’s no right answer to a lot of it. God knows all the headaches I’ve had trying to mediate other people. And, like, honestly? We do accept suggestions. We wouldn’t be bothering with all the paperwork otherwise.”

Di voice. “Well. Okay.”

Robin voice “If you think something’s wrong, there’s nothing stopping you from just walking away and doing your own thing. We won’t take away your basic necessities. But give it a shot. View it like university.”

Di voice. “Speaking of which, how’s Madi and the others? Is there a way to see them?”

Robin voice “I could technically help you out, and you are technically allowed to visit the earth but…”

Di voice. “Don’t you interact with the mortal plane all the time?”

Robin voice “Yes but also hon I’m over 3000 there’s no one living that could cause a fuss I couldn’t fix.”

Also somewhere along the line Leo is like “ok you might not be able to go to campus classes but you’re still Definitely finishing your schooling so just take an online course for the last couple weeks” and di is about to ask Wait How until she remembers she’s dealing with literal demons and literal magic who already had a vampire be their RA and she just. Nods. (robin in the bg “it’s less magic and more blackmail but now that you mention it,”)



Offscreen, one of the afterlifers nudges Bernard to go talk to her since they’ve had that proximity. He agrees

Diana finds Bernard in one of the testing facilities.

Next up is sorting out some little details for the wedding dress. Ev and Di jump into  Everard starts browbeating the wedding dress designer

Diana and Everard get flowers for the ceremony at a flower shop close to Robin’s cafe.

Catherine and Palmer’s engagement party go swimmingly, and Everard and Diana celebrate their success, however narrow.



(rambling line)




Shintoism: Those who stay on the Earth after they’re dead become distorted (and wicked) and must be properly purified.

(Angels and demons both use their magic to balance out the opposing force when it becomes too saturated and damages the environment. They are quite literally beating up the incomprehensible with physical/human goods to bend reality to something tangible, so that lines may be drawn and identities kept.)

Norse Mythology: Valkyries choose who lives and dies in battle, but also carry slain soldiers to the many afterlife Halls. Primarily warlike. Winged women psycho pomps.

(Angels help ferry the dead to the afterlife both for proper burials and for not.)

Greek Mythology: Thanatos personifies death, and Charon and Hermes help ferry the dead over the river between the living and the dead. In the past, the current Pantheon killed their parents, the Old Gods, to reign supreme.

(Angels and demons help process the dead and help the finicky process of transferring between realities. It’s a natural process but they like it with proper procedures.

Palmer and Clay and the others revolted against the old rulers who were much more cruel to humans as well as establishing a new set of rules for dealing with mortals, being much more firm on contracts versus wanton murder.)

Hinduism: Brahma creates, Vishnu preserves, Shiva destroys so more can be created.

(Demons create forms of strife to build character in both war and peace by having that contrast exist at all. Angels purify and thus destroy, being more drastic measures while also doing more shallow and positive through means such as matchmaking. Both work to preserve already existing identities and the current balance of the world.

To phrase it another way, an angel will suggest two people get together, while a demon will set up circumstances to potentially let that happen while these people have to navigate hurdles like class.)

—

Catherine says, “There’s a lot of options on where you go after death… sort of? Like, a lot of religions were kinda right, kinda wrong. But, like, say you have someone that didn’t, like, kill you but were abusive, right? We separate cases like that. Get people the help they need. Judge them as we need to. There’s no clear answer because life isn’t that simple. I mean, look at vampires. Your jock friend and your roommate didn’t become vampires for the exact same reason, but they have some similarities.”

“Huh?”

“Well, not all vampires are meant to last the same amount of time. But each and every one needs more time than what they currently had. And the only way we can really do that is by letting them take reagents. That is, the life force from other people.”

“And what about angels, what do you do with the holy affiliated?”

“Demons handle them too. It’s not a zero sum thing, the tests.”

—

Palmer says, “The world is your oyster. There’s a roof over your head, clothes on your back, and not much need for eating. Tend a garden or take up a sport. It’s a bit like a college university, or Pocket Crossing. It’s all what you make of it, now.”

“Why do people do desk jobs?” Diana asks.

Palmer says, “Everyone wants to have a purpose. Some people are fine just laying around in the gardens, but others want more. We could use the help, too, and we offer good benefits. Just because necessities are covered doesn’t mean you don’t want your own luxuries.”

(“And ownership is a bit of a funny thing down here, don’t worry too much about thieves for the important stuff. Magic is a fun equalizer.”)

—

“The secret is,” Palmer says, “you won’t find a way to make everyone happy. There are some terrible people burning right now that are missed by others, even though they deserve it. Burning is a punishment, but it isn’t eternal, even when I really wished it was. On the bright side, for some people, it practically is.”

“Doesn’t it go against your goal of freedom if you’re deciding who does what?” Diana asks.

“Freedom in a group of people isn’t the same as leaving you to your own devices in isolation, in my opinion.” He shrugs. “We still have laws and rules and certain cultural expectations. There has to be some sort of line in the sand since everyone has their own personal boundaries in the first place. Gotta respect those.”

“Yes, we judge on human morality while also throwing in bits of the supernatural to prompt things,” Palmer says. “We love a good story, but they’re only a story because of those boundaries.”

—

“The afterlife isn’t a perfect answer per se,” Palmer says. “It never will be, because you can’t force an emotion on someone like that. Peace or contentment. But we just do our best to help someone reach it on their own. Like a set of stairs, you know?”

—

“What if you get tired of living like this?” Diana asks. “If you’re tired of being yourself.”

“Well,” her father says. “You sleep it off, for a bit. But reincarnation isn’t really a thing for most people. You can’t just leave yourself behind, but you can change yourself. You just try to find your own peace. For some people, that’s doing nothing. But the urge kicks up again. It always does. It’s in our nature to want more than what we currently have.”

“And if you have everything?”

“Do you, Diana? No one’s that different from you, no matter how old they are.”

He taps the window. “Even if it’s not Earth’s sun, it’s still warm. This job isn’t for everyone, but the ones it wasn’t suited for wouldn’t have what we have.”

“And is Palmer the one who assigned that?”

“I think no one really dealt the hand we were given.”

—

Catherine says, “Well, think of everyone in unfortunate circumstances. No one to call family when they want it, no company when they die, or they can’t afford proper burial rites. This isn’t a journey you should make alone, although you could. People usually did.”

“What if it’s someone terrible?” Diana asks. “Do all the souls who die in one area meet up all at once?

“Well,” Catherine begins, “we still make sure they cross the theoretical river fairly. There’s a procedure to it all.”

—

Catherine says, “Proper burial rites make it easier for someone to cross through all the red tapes themselves easier, which is good for us as well. It makes it easier to pinpoint those who weren’t so lucky, since they stand out more with less congestion. We try not to leave anyone behind.”

“And if you do?”

She looks uncomfortable. “We still end up laying them to peace. Everything is a learning process, whether we like it or not.”

—

Angels are able to interact with humanity less in those ways. Being a guardian angel and blessing someone is still keeping the power focused on the angel as the shield versus empowering the human. Demons aren’t lesser because they can interact with humans like they can, but it’s more a simple affinity split.

—

“Back in the day, we did a lot. One of my favorite events was when the Serer would deliver their Xooy divination.

—

“Are there multiple gods?” Catherine muses. “I guess, in a way, we can all do some pretty heavy damage. And some things we done have accidentally crafted religions. There’s no omnipotent god god, though. And, obviously, Palmer has been struck down before. Same as me.”

“It really depends on how you view reality. Everyone who uses magic can control aspects

—

“Well,” Catherine says, and coughs. “Palmer pulled a Prometheus. And the old gods didn’t like that. But they’re not exactly gods if we could kill them, huh?”

—

“There’s so many options about what happened,” Palmer says. “Just because we made something happen doesn’t mean we fully understand it. That doesn’t mean someone else decided the answer either. Unless the air is simply entertaining us by letting us breathe it in. This is the wild west.”

“I mean, hey, do you think it’s fate that there’s going to be a heat death over on Earth? Did someone decide to just let that happen? Well. Yes. We breathed life into something, but of course that means an end to it.”

“I think no matter what, there’s always going to be some reasonable doubt that there’s a higher power, but really I think it’s just the gap between your world and mine and the differences between us.”

—

“We judge everyone. And it’s up to us to decide what’s forgivable. But sometimes that’s more than leeway than people think is right, and not enough for others. But, well. We decide! And they don’t. But we tend to be pretty forgiving if it’s something like cheating versus an abuse of power.”

“Is this technically an abuse of one?”

“Eh.”

—

Furthermore, people have the freedom to reject God and His great love shown to us in the person of Jesus Christ who was crucified, died, was buried, and rose from the dead for our sins (1 Cor. 15:1-4). If God were a dictator, then He would not allow people to make the choices to either follow Him or reject Him. If God were a dictator, He would force everyone to believe what He wants them to believe. Since God does not do this, He is not a dictator.